by Ian Todd
“Aw, poor Wee Mary. Is that no a shame?” Pearl cooed, lighting up.
“Naw, Pearl, it’s no a shame. It’s perfect, so it is. It’s a real cut throat profession, being a successful businesswummin doon here in the toon. It takes balls ae steel tae make it in amongst aw they sharks oot there,” she said wae a wave ae her haun towards the windae. “Kicking that wee scrawny arse ae lover boy’s doon tae the buroo, roond there oan West Nile Street, alang wae that boss ae his, will tober her up…and plus,” Donna emphasised, stabbing a finger at her. “Who the fuck wid want tae go oot wae the wee bitch that made you and yer boss redundant, eh?” Donna asked, as they baith laughed.
“Oh Donna, that’s terrible!”
“Aye, Ah know,” Donna agreed, smiling, sounding hauf apologetic, as the baith ae them cackled away. “Anyhow, Pearl, hen, never you mind that. Whit ur ye efter fae me?”
Pearl watched Donna, as she went through the motions ae replacing her fag wae a fresh wan. She wis a sleeping partner in The Original Jeely Piece Sandwich Company, the business that her ma and her pals hid set up in Springburn, efter her ma hid spent a week oan remand in Gateside Wummin’s Prison efter being accused ae poisoning The Purple Dove’s family, back in October ae the previous year. Tae her and her pals, Donna wis like their favourite auntie. Never aboot, bit always there tae make sure they wur awright. Even though she’d disappeared up tae Elgin tae find her feet as a journalist, she’d receive a wee card every noo and again fae Donna, asking how she wis getting oan. That’s whit made her special. It wis the wee things that might appear irrelevant tae other people. She could remember lying in her bed, homesick, rereading the scrawling, spidery words ae encouragement, pining fur hame. She’d telt her ma whit the cards hid meant tae her.
“Aye, that’s Donna doon tae a T. She always wis thoughtful that way, especially wae aw youse weans. Never furgoat any ae yer birthdays either. Mind you, everything she dis always seems tae hiv a calculation attached tae it. Ah mean, look at Wee Mary, Issie’s lassie. Nowan saw that coming, at least, Issie and Tam didnae. It never seemed unusual, o’er the years, when Donna wid turn up oot ae the mist, at Issie and Tam’s door, appearing tae be taking a keen interest in how Wee Mary wis daeing at school. It’s noo obvious whit she wis up tae aw alang, so it is.”
She wondered if her ma hid been too harsh or judgmental, even though she knew full well that, that wisnae where she wis coming fae. She’d jist said it as a matter ae fact, withoot any barb attached tae the comment. She’d hardly spoken tae Donna as she wis growing up. The welcome received when her or any ae the lassies wid bump in tae her in the toon centre wis the equivalent ae coming across a long lost relative. She wid always gush o’er ye, touching yer sleeve or swishing a loose strand ae hair back in tae place, reminding them that if any ae them ever needed help, irrespective ae whit it wis, they wur tae come chapping at her door. Although well-heeled, Donna hid a tongue oan her that could cut through lead. Of course, she always hid her favourites amongst the Toonheid weans, especially the boys. The sun always seemed tae shine oot ae the arses ae Tony Gucci, Johnboy Taylor, Silent Smith, Paul McBride and Joe McManus, irrespective ae whit they goat up tae. She could remember seeing Johnboy getting nabbed by two big strapping polismen at the corner ae Stanhope Street and Parson Street, jist up fae the stables. Johnboy’d been howling the place doon, trying tae break away fae them, when Donna arrived oan the scene. She couldnae hear whit hid been said, bit the next minute, Johnboy’d been tearing alang the street towards The City Public doon oan St James Road, while Donna went intae her handbag and haunded o’er a tenner tae the two bizzies…a lot ae money in they days. She supposed her ma’s logic aboot Donna being so calculating made complete sense when she thought aboot it. Despite her demure appearance, Donna wis as hard as nails. Her ma always said that God hid Donna in mind when he came up wae the word smart. She’d risen oot ae the ashes ae an abusive relationship tae command respect amongst gangsters and hard-nosed businessmen alike. Christ, she’d even won the businesswummin ae the year award the previous year, despite hivving left school at fourteen tae go and scrub flairs tae help feed her brothers and sisters efter her da hid died ae alcoholic poisoning when they wur aw weans.
“So, spit it oot, Pearl, hen,” Donna purred encouragingly, interrupting her thoughts, efter lighting up her fag and putting her feet up on tae the wee coffee table.
Pearl spoke non-stoap fur aboot an hour, ootlining where she’d goat tae in her investigation intae the collusion ae The Irish Brigade, despite hauf ae them being suspended, tae get Teddy Bare’s charge ae murder reduced tae culpable homicide. Donna wis a good listener, only occasionally interrupting tae scowl or wave her erm dismissively at the mention ae a name she clearly didnae like…Lesley Bare being wan ae them.
“Totally sold oot her sex fur ‘The Man,’ that wan, so she did,” she’d scowled dismissively.
“Aye, well, that’s as maybe, bit being battered senseless because she jist happened tae be a misled wummin, disnae make whit happened tae her right. Look at aw they poor souls that Senga and Geraldine support doon in the wummin’s shelter?” she’d reminded her.
And oan Mrs Purple?
“Ach, Barbara Allen is jist another lying, two bit dime politician, despite whit she might hiv people believe. Wid sell ye doon the river fur a whiff ae a heidline, so she wid…apart fae wan ae yours, that is,” she’d said wae a wee smile.
And at the mention ae Pussy Galore’s name being unveiled at The Showgirls meeting.
“Christ, Ah’d love tae hiv been a blue bottle oan the wall ae the hall efter ye came oot wae that tag in front ae The Sister’s Republic ae Wumminhood,” she’d cackled, before bursting intae a fit ae coughing.
“Ah thought it wis you at first,” she’d confessed.
“Me, hinging aboot a pishy smelling car park at midnight?” she’d scoffed. “Ah’ve goat that good reputation ae mine tae think aboot, so Ah hiv,” she’d sniffed, exaggerating her umbrage at the suggestion.
“So, if it wisnae you, who could it be?”
“Look, Pearl. At the end ae the day, dis it really matter? Whit matters noo is where ye go fae here,” Donna said tae her, as Pearl still wondered, full ae doubt, watching Donna’s face light up under the glow ae the match she’d jist struck alang the side ae that Swan Vesta box ae matches ae hers.
Where wis the gold Dunhill lighter she always waved aboot in front her when lighting up, she wondered.
“Well, Ah now know that it wis Cleopatra who took ownership ae the letters fae Collette James and who returned Rose Bain’s file tae The Cove efter it wis passed o’er tae her fae Mrs Purple. Ah also know, efter speaking tae Geraldine again, that there wis definitely a deal made between them.”
“Which wis?”
“The Teardrap Café wid be kept open and the charges against the lassies who glued up the butcher’s shoap locks wid be drapped, bit…”
“Bit?”
“There wis something else as well...”
“Aye?” Donna asked, interrupting too soon, her voice unnaturally neutral, eyes narrowing, her breathing steady.
“Aye, bit she refused tae say whit it wis. She…she suggested that Ah come and speak tae you.”
“Me?” Donna scoffed, feigning surprise, her eyes suddenly the size ae saucers.
“As…as did that Pussy Galore wan,” Pearl admitted, watching Donna’s face closely fur any tell-tale reaction.
“Ah suppose Ah should be flattered, bit Ah’m no,” Donna cursed. “It means Ah’m either being gossiped aboot oot ae school or people hiv an inflated perception ae whit Ah might know ae whit’s gaun oan in the toon. Christ, Pearl, Ah’m jist a wee businesswummin, swimming aboot in a pool ae sharks, trying tae earn a dishonest buck, withoot ma snout getting caught in the moose trap ae life. How the hell wid somewan like me know whit Barbara Allen and that Cleopatra wan came up wae between them? Noo, there’s a pair ae spiked tooth vipers that need watching. Ah did pick up oan ma travels that Wan-bob’s supposedly been targeting
Cleopatra, bit that might be a heap ae shite. It wisnae fae a reliable source, so could’ve been part ae a bit ae mixing gaun oan by they McGregor basturts. See, that’s whit happens if ye allow yersel tae get drawn in tae whit’s swirling aboot in the sewers ae the toon, so it is,” Donna warned her, trying tae steer her aff the scent.
“So, how did that file get oot ae The Cove then?” Pearl challenged her, wanting tae hear it fae Donna hersel. “According tae that inspector…Wilma Thain, the sergeant in charge ae the place, Raminsky, certainly wisnae involved.”
“Well, if she’s so bloody sure ae hersel, who dis she think it wis then?” she asked, clearly fishing.
“She widnae say,” Pearl admitted, convinced she’d detected Donna’s eyes softening. “She says she’s goat a good enough idea, bit despite me pressing her, she couldnae or widnae say. Mind you, Ah goat the same feeling fae her as Ah goat fae Geraldine. It wis obvious that they baith knew mair than whit they wur prepared tae divulge tae me.”
Silence.
“Why dae ye think Pussy Galore suggested that Ah speak tae you and Geraldine? Ah kin understaun the Geraldine link, bit you?”
“Pearl, hen, ye kin ask aw ye want, bit ah hivnae the foggiest,” Donna replied, looking heavenwards, sounding jist like Julie Andrews when she wis decked oot in that broon nun’s habit ae hers, in The Sound Ae Music.
“When Ah first met up wae Pussy Galore, she warned me that ma investigation could be dangerous and that Ah shouldnae get too emotionally involved, so she did.”
“Wise words in a place like the toon…especially in a dark car park roond aboot midnight.”
“She also said that if Ah persisted wae ma investigation, then Ah should look closer tae hame. ‘Ye kin dae a lot ae damage tae those closest tae ye. Is that whit ye really want?’ she’d asked me at that first meeting.”
“So, whit dae ye think she meant by that?” Donna wondered, as Pearl held her breath. “The Mankys, maybe?”
“Naw, it wisnae The Mankys. She said that Ah should follow the wummin and as Ah’ve awready telt ye, despite his reluctance, Tony only agreed tae speak tae that brief ae his aboot approaching Glenda Metcalfe efter Ah bleated the ears aff ae him.”
“Another slimy shark swimming aboot in the cesspool, that wan. Tony should’ve goat shot ae that dandy lawyer ae his a long time ago. The lassies wur right aboot him. Shagging somewan fae the other side, while still supporting them tae get Johnboy released? Nae wonder it took as long as it did.”
“Ah spoke tae that ma ae mine last night aboot how her and the wummin set up the business,” Pearl said, deciding tae change tactic. “No Springburn’s Larder, bit The Original Jeely Piece Sandwich Company…”
“Aye, ye kin thank Simon fur that name tag, so ye kin. Clever boy, Simon.”
“Aye, she telt me aboot the day that she wis sitting in despair at the kitchen sink, staring oot the windae across tae Helen’s heidstane, watching Squinty Alex laying flowers oan her grave,” Pearl continued, ignoring the interruption. “She said that it wis wan ae the worst days she could remember since Helen passed away. The fact that she’d been sitting withoot any fags or dry tea leaves in the hoose hidnae helped, when Tony and Simon suddenly turned up at the door tae haun o’er the money fur Johnboy’s campaign fund. She’d claimed that withoot them…and you, everywan’s life wid’ve gone back tae being in ruins. She said they hivnae looked back since.”
“Ach, whit ur friends fur if ye cannae help them oot when they’re feeling a wee bit under, eh?”
“Aye, only this morning, she telt me that ma da is threatening tae pack in his job and become a man ae leisure, wae the amount ae money that’s coming in,” she slung in, as the pair ae them looked at each other and smiled.
“Ach, ye’re making me blush noo, Pearl, hen,” Donna growled modestly, wae a wave ae that haun ae hers, lighting up again.
“Which takes me tae the sanny contracts in the offices doon here in the toon, so it dis…” Pearl said as lightly as she could, haudin her breath.
“Another wan ae Tony and Simon’s bright ideas,” Donna acknowledged, butting in, sounding wary this time, shifting in her seat noo.
“And aboot hivving worked, delivering sannys fur five weeks alang there in Pitt Street,” Pearl continued, nodding at the wall behind Donna wae her chin, haudin her breath, watching Donna very closely noo.
Silence.
She’d been dreading hitting Donna wae her deduction. She hidnae been sure ae how tae bring it up and hid been scared ae the reaction. Her ma hidnae mentioned anything aboot blagging a file fae The Cove and she hidnae pressed it. The discovery that The Original Jeely Piece Sandwich Company, the Springburn wummin, including that ma ae hers, hid been working in the building, hid telt her everything she needed tae know. At first she’d been shocked, then pleasantly surprised…and proud at finding oot that, despite nearly been sent doon fur a poisoning they hidnae committed, her ma and her pals wur still game enough tae get involved in helping oot in handing o’er the Rose Bain file. That hid been the positive aspect. The negative aspect hid been the discovery that it wis her ma and they mental pals ae hers that hid jist fucked up her pursuit ae toppling Mrs Purple and that Cleopatra wan. It hid always been important tae prove that management within the force hid been aware ae whit hid been gaun oan in the sexual harassment ae the ex WPC wummin. The fact that Cleopatra wis senior enough tae gie her a direct link between the operational men oan the ground and senior management, hid basically nailed the case. Who else behind and above Cleopatra knew? Did it really matter? The fact that a senior officer, a superintendent, knew whit hid been gaun oan and hid done nothing aboot it, despite the evidence in the letters that the ex poliswummin hid handed o’er tae Susan McFarlane, hid been proven. No only wis there evidence, bit a superintendent hid apparently destroyed that evidence tae cover up the trail. She looked across at Donna. She hoped her frustration wisnae visible.
“That wis the third part ae the deal that Barbara Allen negotiated wae that Cleopatra wan, so it wis,” Donna eventually admitted. “She knew fine well that Geraldine Baker widnae accept seeing yer ma and the rest ae the wummin go doon fur their role in blagging the file.”
“Okay, so where dae Ah go fae here then?”
“Ah suppose that’s up tae you, Pearl,” Donna replied, lighting up another fag well before her last wan wis finished.
“Aye, bit whit’s ma options?”
“Well, fae whit you’ve jist telt me, it sounds as if ye’ve goat enough tae bring the whole stack doon oan the basturts heids, so it dis.”
“And Mrs Purple and Cleopatra?”
“Aye, well, that’s a different ball-game aw thegither. Ah suppose ye’ve goat two choices. Ye kin stick wae whit ye’ve come up wae so far, which is seeing The Irish Brigade nailed tae the wall or, ye kin continue tae pursue Barbara Allen and her superintendent pal.”
Silence.
“Aye, bit that wid mean that…that ma ae mine’s and the other Springburn wummin wid probably end up in the jail fur stealing Rose Bain’s file oot ae The Cove.”
“Ah suppose that that’s wan way ae looking at it, bit remember, Cleopatra made a deal not tae go efter yer ma, Betty, Issie, Ann and Soiled Sally. Surely, a hauf decent brief wid be able tae use that evidence as collateral fur being able tae negotiate a wee deal tae ensure a conviction ae the bad guys,” Donna said shrewdly. “Ah mean, Ah’m sure somewan as sharp as that wee Glenda Metcalfe widnae turn her nose up at a Queen’s Evidence offer like that in return fur no being prosecuted?”
Silence.
“And you, Donna? Where ur you in aw this?”
“Me?” Donna scoffed dismissively. “Pearl, hen, Ah might no look as if Ah’ve been roond the block mair than a few times,” Donna smiled, no being able tae keep that modesty ae her under wraps again. “Bit, believe you me, hen, it’ll take mair than anything you write up tae take somewan like me doon.”
“Oh…bit…Ah wisnae suggesting that Ah…”
“Pearl, Ah appreciate yer concer
n, hen. Jist you go and dae whit his tae be done. Don’t you worry aboot somewan like me,” she said, fluttering they false eyelashes ae hers, as Pearl couldnae help hersel and burst oot in nervous laughter.
“Whit?” Donna demanded, sounding aw hurt that her Julie Andrews performance clearly wisnae hivving the desired effect.
“Donna, why hiv Ah goat the feeling that despite whit ye’ve jist come oot wae, Ah’m still up Shite Street withoot a paddle?”
“Y’know, yer ma is so proud ae ye, Pearl. Efter ye jumped ship and heided fur the hills when ye found oot aboot Senga’s feelings fur that wee scrawny Johnboy wan, she wis terribly upset that ye left hame o’er a boy, so she wis.”
“Bit, Ah never left because ae…”
“Look, there’s nothing tae be ashamed ae. Ah’ve always believed that whit isnae fur ye, ye wur never gonnae get in the first place. Imagine if it wis you that Johnboy ended up wae efter he came oot ae the jail? Ye don’t think fur wan minute he widnae hiv ended up being dragged back intae the scene again, dae ye?”
“Scene?”
“You know whit Ah’m talking aboot. Everywan knows fine well that Senga Jackson his worshiped the footsteps behind Johnboy Taylor’s feet since they wur in their nappies,” Donna reminded her, haudin up the palm ae her haun tae stoap Pearl fae interrupting. “Aye, Ah know, you felt the same, bit she’s the wan that’s prepared tae sacrifice everything tae get him away fae whit’s gaun oan here in the toon. She’s gieing up her family and friends. Wid you be prepared tae dae that…gie up yer ambition ae wanting tae be the best thing since slice breid in the world ae journalism? Ah mean, whitever you may believe, ye wur never gonnae find that in a shitty wee place like Elgin, wur ye?”
Silence.
“You and me baith know that ye’re no gonnae leave here the day, satisfied that ye’re no gonnae be able tae bring doon Barbara Allen and that snake, Cleopatra. Ah know ye’ve probably heard this before, bit everything will come oot in the trial, so it will.”
“Teddy Bare’s?”
“Naw, no Teddy Bare’s, the other wan.”
