When he’d checked the news on his cellphone on the train ride over, he’d read that this evening was going to be a record December low. “You can’t stay here like this. You need to get some electric heaters or something.”
“Yeah, well, those things cost a lot of money to buy and even more to run. I can’t afford to buy them, and I sure as shit can’t afford the bill that comes with them.”
“But I thought Preload was paying you for your services,” he asked, confused.
“They are.” Holly sighed and took another sip of coffee. “But I need every penny of it. I want to open my own tattoo studio. I need to. For myself, to stop feeling so stupid about my past mistakes. For my friends. We had…have…such great camaraderie. It was more than just friendship. And I feel like I let them down by investing with…” She stood and began pacing. “I’m going to need a deposit and rent, and you can’t understand the sacrifices I’m willing to make to ensure it happens. If it comes down to it, I’ll get a different job. I’m not stupid. But I need to give it my best shot.”
The passion in her voice got to him. He understood that. He felt the same drive, the same commitment to getting what he wanted. But he was beginning to understand that part of his drive came from the environment he worked in and the people, like Duncan, he’d worked with. People who wheeled and dealed without regard for others. “We have that in common. And that was what last night was about.”
Holly looked up at him. Unable to resist, he took her hand, and she let him. “Stephanie didn’t understand that. She didn’t understand the lengths to which I was willing to go to become head of the East Coast. Unfortunately, she wanted time from me that I just wasn’t prepared to give, and it appears she was, in her mind at least, just biding her time by trying to make me realize what I’d lost.”
“And did you? Realize what you’d lost?”
Ryan placed his chai on the ground and placed his hand to her cheek, which was cool to the touch. “No. I realized what I’d gained, Hols.”
The air sat heavy between.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “In trying to be respectful to both of you, I fucked up. I felt I owed Stephanie something and I felt shitty when I realized she was still waiting for me. In trying to do the right thing there, I did the wrong thing by you. I just didn’t feel right putting her in a cab alone when she was clearly drunk and unable to look out for herself.”
“She was with a friend in the bathroom. Why couldn’t she have brought her home?”
Ryan shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry I handled it all wrong.”
“I overreacted, too. I think all of this has knocked my confidence.” She waved her hand around the room. “This isn’t my dream life. I dropped out of college after two years, and my parents, who’d struggled to pay for it, kicked me out of their house. My parents live two miles that way,” she said, pointing toward the window that faced onto the street. “But they’d walk past me if they saw me now. The money I’d been saving, the money Joshua asked me to invest in the studio, was to pay them back in the hope that it would go some way to fixing things between us.”
Ryan’s heart squeezed tightly at the story. “I’m so sorry, Hols.”
“Yeah. Me, too. So, between being taken advantage of by Joshua, losing my relationship with my parents, and coming second on the show… my faith in myself has been sorely tested. And then I saw you and her together…”
“You’ve had so much to deal with.” And he wanted to make it all better. “But, I’m none of those people. I’m sorry for screwing up. And I promise you aren’t second to me.”
Holly squeezed his hand. “I accept your apology.”
He eyed her curiously. “You do?”
She finally laughed, the sound the most glorious thing in the world. “What? You were expecting me to make you beg or something?”
The question felt a bit like walking into a minefield. “Well…”
“You screwed up last night. But I understand your explanation. You weren’t trying to hurt me. You were trying to not hurt someone else further. Your motivations were honest, even if they were misplaced. And I wasn’t in a place to respond rationally.”
His heart squeezed at her words. She understood him, and it brought a tremendous feeling of…comfort. And belonging.
“Pack a bag,” he said. His feeling of connection to her was building, and rapidly. It felt good but also uncomfortable. He stood, feeling like movement could shake off the sensation a bit, but it stuck.
“What? Why?”
“Because it’s supposed to be fucking freezing tonight and you aren’t staying here. Plus, we have work to do. Grab your things. Come to my house. Get warm because it’s killing me thinking of you being here.”
“Fine, you old worrywart,” she said, heading to the bedroom.
This time, when his heart tripped as she looked back at him over her shoulder, he savored it.
Chapter Eight
“Babe, any chance you could just leave my piles where they are?” Ryan said, his tone somewhere between the edge of laughter and brink of frustration. He ran his hands through the ends of his hair, letting it all out at different angles.
Babe. She wondered if he realized he’d called her something other than Holly or Hols, something affectionate, something that bordered on something more than just friends.
“Would it freak you out if I did this?” she said, rearranging the piles so they ran in order from January to December rather than being arranged by Preload’s tax year.
Ryan glared at her, raising an eyebrow, but she could see the amusement in his eyes. A bottle of merlot, a fire, and a pile of financial receipts made Ryan a happy boy, and for a moment she wondered how far she could take the playfulness. What would he do if she slipped out of her blouse and lay down on top of his precious piles?
What if she messed up his papers while naked? What would he want to do most—move her and rearrange the piles or ravage her?
“Don’t provoke me, Holly,” he growled playfully while he fixed the piles. Well, that answered her question. For now, at least.
Maybe it was the red wine talking, but she wanted to know what it would be like to provoke him. What it would feel like if and when he lost some control.
When he’d disappeared into his bedroom earlier, he’d been dressed in a black suit. When he’d come out, he was wearing faded denim, the kind that came from a million washes, which fit him perfectly, and a T-shirt that clung to his biceps. Without the line of his jacket covering it, she could now declare that he had the most perfect ass. But it had been the T-shirt that had done the most damage. It was navy blue, fitted, and draped over a row of abs that she could see through the soft fabric.
“Why don’t you have a tree?” she asked.
Ryan looked up and glanced around the room. “Never really saw the point, seeing I was here alone.”
“One would look great over there,” she said, pointing to the space next to the balcony doors. It was dark outside, but they hadn’t bothered to close the curtains and she could see the snow settling against the bottom of the glass.
“Maybe you should help me get one.”
Holly grinned, it was such a couple-y thing to do. “I’d love that.” She lay down, placing her head in his lap, knowing full well her hair would spread across his thighs. When he reached for a curl and let it fall through his fingers, she let out a satisfied sigh. “How much longer do you intend to work on this?” she asked, knowing he wouldn’t relax until he was done.
His eyes met hers and he studied her for a moment. Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity. He dropped the curl and ran his finger slowly along her jaw. It made her shiver in anticipation. “I was just about done for now.”
Holly’s mouth was suddenly dry, her skin sensitive to his touch. As she was about to speak, he ran his thumb along her lower lip. She couldn’t help the moan that escaped.
Ryan took a deep breath. “God, that sound.”
“Is
it good or bad?” Holly whispered, knowing the answer as she felt his erection harden next to her cheek.
Using the pad of his thumb, he played with her lip even more firmly. “It’s both, babe.”
“What if I said yes?”
Ryan traced his finger down the side of her neck to her collarbone. “What if you said yes to what?” he asked gruffly.
“To the question you haven’t asked yet but are thinking.”
Ryan bit his lip. “You’re a mind reader now?”
Holly shook her head. “No. But if you’re thinking about having sex with me right now…”
Before she could process what was happening, she was on her back with Ryan resting his forearms on either side of her head. “I’m definitely not thinking of sex. That’s way too boring. I’m thinking about everything from fucking you senseless to making love with you until you come apart in my arms.”
His words caused her core to clench in anticipation. There was nothing in the world she wanted more in this moment. “It would still be yes.”
“Yeah? Because we can stop right now and pretend this momentary lapse in our sanity never happened.”
Is that how he saw her? As temporary… as a moment? She didn’t need a marriage proposal to have sex with a man, but she needed a little more than an insanity defense and a cold morning after. Holly pushed against his chest. “You’re right. Insanity. I’m sorry. It must be the wine,” she said with a laugh that sounded fake to her own ears.
“Hey,” Ryan said, tugging her back to him. “That was a really bad fucking choice of words on my part. There’s nothing momentary about you, Holly. If I’m honest, wanting you has been my most permanent thought since you walked into that meeting room in your purple hat and put me in my place.”
He placed his hand to her face as her insides ran hot as molten. “Can we try this again? From the making love and fucking part?”
Holly nodded, but before he continued to speak, he slid his hand into her hair and kissed her. And goddamn, if the kiss didn’t knock her on her ass. His lips were firm, his caress soft, and the erection pressing against her thigh was most definitely hard. She felt dizzy, as if she’d held her breath for too long.
“Fuck,” he mumbled against her lips. “I’ve forgotten what we were talking about.”
Holly smiled, their lips still touching. “Making love and fucking and yes.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he said, climbing to his feet. Ryan offered her his hand, and she took it.
They stood chest to chest and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again, his hands running trails up her back. It made her shiver, the tiny hairs on the back of her neck in a permanent state of excitement.
His stomach muscles flexed as she ran her fingers over them, savoring every ridge beneath the soft cotton until she reached the hem and slid her hands beneath the fabric. Everywhere she touched was warm smooth skin and the soft bristle of hair.
“Damn, I love your hands,” Ryan said as he reached for the back of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. He balled it up and threw it onto the sofa.
Holly took a breath as she took in his body. His shoulders were broad and his muscles revealed the same discipline he had in all things. The head of the large colorful dragon she’d seen on the boardwalk in Miami wrapped over his shoulder and down his pec, and in the reflection of his back in the window, she could see its uncurled body, wings spread wide. Whoever had done it knew their stuff. The lines were clean, the shading exemplary. The whole thing was rendered to create a three-dimensional effect.
“I lost an item of clothing,” he said, his grin reaching his dimple. “I think it’s only fair you lose one, too.”
Holly took a step back and laughed. “Sounds fair,” she said and pulled her navy blouse over her head, letting it drop to the floor.
Ryan ran his tongue over his bottom teeth as he stared at her navy-blue lace bra. Without taking his eyes from hers, he unbuttoned his jeans and let the denim drop to the floor before kicking them away. Geez, she didn’t have the same restraint he did, and she couldn’t help but look as the black fabric of his boxer briefs revealed the outline of an erection that promised everything she’d dreamed about.
“I’m down to one item of clothing,” Ryan said, folding his arms across his chest. “And it’s taking everything I have to not come over there and strip you. So give a man a break, will you, Holly.”
Holly grinned. She so wanted to be sexy, but she loved bossy Ryan. Taking her time, she peeled off her bracelets one by one. Then she unfastened her necklaces and put them down on the table.
Ryan palmed his erection. “You’re fucking killing me, Holly. And don’t think I don’t know that you are doing this on purpose.”
“Would I?” she asked as she shimmied her leggings down over her hips, letting them pool around her feet.
For a moment, they simply stood in their underwear, staring at each other, Ryan holding himself, her with her underwear growing damper by the minute.
“In a little under sixty seconds, I’m going to take the rest of that underwear off you, bury my face between your legs, and make you come standing right there before we take this into my bedroom. If you are having second thoughts, now’s the time to grab your things and go to the spare room. I won’t follow you there, I promise.”
Holly’s heart squeezed at his deliberate actions to confirm her consent, to give her an out, to let her know she was safe with him, no matter what she decided. “What if I can’t wait sixty seconds?” she said, slipping her thumbs into the elastic of her panties. “What if I want your face here, right now?”
Holy fucking…
He didn’t need any more of an invitation. He was on his knees in front of her before the scrap of blue lace she’d been wearing had hit the floor. Holly was glorious and naked and in his apartment. Gently, he ran his hands down her ribs, letting his palms rest on her stomach for a moment before following the line of her hips. Soft skin greeted him, the soft scent of her enticed him. He placed a kiss just beneath her belly button and then followed the trail of his hands with his lips until he could nibble against her hip bone.
Holly laughed, as he’d hoped. Yes, he wanted her. Yes, he wanted to rock the living fuck out of her world. But he wanted to simply be with her. Be with the woman whose laugh lit him up inside. Be with the woman who could see the good, not the dark, in most things.
Unable to resist, he slid his finger between her legs, a slow, sure glide in her wetness. Damn, she was so ready for him that he could just stand, press her against the wall, and give them both the pleasure they deserved.
But instant gratification was so not his style. He liked to work hard for what he earned.
And earning Holly was going to be so worth the effort. Her eyes fluttered shut as her hands slipped into his hair. Nails slid across his scalp softly, causing a shiver to slide down his spine.
Snow whipped itself into a frenzy outside the apartment window, but the fire cast a warm glow over her skin.
Ryan kept his eyes on her as he leaned forward.
The sound of her gasp as he pressed a kiss to her clit made him smile. The moan as he snaked his tongue through her folds, tasting her, savoring her as she moved against him, as desperate for release as he was, amped his own need.
“God, that feels good,” she gasped, as if the relief she craved was unbearable, as if she needed him on her and in her more than her next breath.
Which worked for him just fine.
As he savored and teased and tasted her, he palmed his cock. It was hard and heavy and pulsing, but he could wait. Teasing Holly was far too much fun. As he felt her movements speed up and heard those sweet moans become more frantic, his hand slid to her thigh, holding her steady while he devoured her, sucking on her clit only to release it so he could soothe it with his tongue.
“Ryan,” she cried. “Please, I’m going to—ah.”
He felt every moment of her orgasm. The way her body shuddered in his grasp, the way h
er flavor flooded his tongue, the way she tightened her grip in his hair. She came as she lived, with a wild abandon and joy.
Slowly, he brought her down by placing soft kisses across her thigh and hip. When he pulled back, he wiped his face with the back of his hand.
“Damn, Holly,” he said. “Seeing you get off is the fucking hottest thing ever.”
Holly smiled at him, a slightly punch-drunk smile that told him he’d delivered. “I don’t know,” she said. “A man on his knees while he does wicked things to you is pretty damn hot, too.”
He stood and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy. Sometimes I’m on my knees, other times I’m hoping it’ll be you, babe.” Without thinking, he kissed the tip of her nose. “But now, I want to take you to my room, lay you down on my bed, and try at least three of the things I’ve imagined doing over the last few days.”
She placed her hand into his. “Lead the way.”
Ryan took her hand as instructed and led her to his room.
“I’ll admit it,” she said shakily as he lowered her to the bed.
“Admit what?” he asked, brushing his lips against hers.
“You’ve got skills, Arden.”
He laughed as he slipped his boxer briefs down his legs. “You haven’t seen anything yet, Eden.”
He grabbed a condom from the dresser and put it on. He wouldn’t need it right away, but he knew damn well that once they started, there would be no stopping them. He crawled onto the bed until he was nestled between her legs, his weight resting on his forearms placed either side of her head. The feel of her skin against his intensified the connection he felt with her.
“As I sat in that cold apartment this morning, ending up here was the very last thing on my mind,” she said, running her hands over his shoulders.
The Greatest Risk (Second Circle Tattoos Series Book 5) Page 8
