by Mona Shroff
Sam looked at her, incredulous. “What? I was fine.”
“Oh my God, Dad! Could you have been more rude?” Samantha was glaring at him.
“I was not rude. I was checking him out.”
His mother practically guffawed, as if a guffaw was something she actually ever did. “Yes, maybe. But you were rude about it.”
Samantha turned to her grandmother. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
“It must have been quite embarrassing for young Samantha, here.”
“It really was.” His daughter glared accusation up at him.
“Who is he?” Sam needed answers.
Samantha blushed as she shrugged. “I told you. Will Waters.”
Sam gawked at her. Did she just swoon a bit when she said his name? “Who is he?”
She averted her eyes to a passing bus, pretending to squint into the sun. “Kind of my boyfriend,” she mumbled.
“Kind of? What does that mean?” Sam flashed back to being a sixteen-year-old boy himself, and what he remembered did nothing to calm him.
She sighed and glanced sideways at her grandmother. “It means he just asked me to be his girlfriend two days ago and I can only see him at school.”
Sam frowned at her. “Why?”
“Because to go on an actual date, I’d have to tell Mom, and I’m not going to do that. And neither are you.”
“What? Maya doesn’t know? Why not?” Sam liked this less and less.
“You’ve met my mom, right? She’ll freak.” She threw up her arms for effect. “I don’t know how many times I heard the story about her high school boyfriend, and the lecture she got from Nani.” She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t think you would freak. You seem—normal. Can you not tell her? I’ll tell her when I’m ready. Please?”
Sam was silent as he contemplated this. It didn’t feel right. Maya might actually freak out. But was that really a bad thing? But then, maybe the truth should come from Samantha.
“Come on, Sam. It’s not a big deal. She seems a sensible girl. Let her tell her mother in her own time.” His mother had stopped laughing.
Sam did a double take at his mother. She winked at Samantha, and Sam nearly fell over.
“Fine. As long as you do tell her.” He remembered Maya’s younger self. “No sneaking around to see him.”
“Why? Did Maya have to sneak around to see you?” His mother was enjoying this way too much. Sam did not answer.
Samantha’s eyes popped open. “Did she? Oh my God!”
“It really isn’t any of your business,” Sam growled.
His mother and his daughter feigned shock at the reprimand. Sam turned on his heel and started to walk. “Let’s go. Dad and Paige are waiting for us.”
“Hey, Dad!”
Sam turned around and walked back to where Samantha and his mother had stayed put. “Yes?”
“Don’t you think you should call Uber or something? You can’t make Dadi walk all the way back in the cold.”
His mother didn’t even try to hide her gloating as Sam tapped his phone and called for a car. “Smart and considerate girl we’ve got here, Sammy.”
Twenty minutes later, they exited the Uber. Sam simmered the entire trip, while Samantha and his mother found they had much in common. Not the least of which was a love of teasing Sam. They also realized that they both loved to cook.
“I taught your father how to cook. He’s pretty good.” Hema beamed.
“Really, Dad?”
“Hmm? Yeah. Why so surprised?” He narrowed his eyes at her. He really should just send Maya a text about Will.
“Samantha, let’s see what you can do. How about we cook dinner together?” Sam couldn’t believe it. His mother sounded excited to spend time with her granddaughter. When had she changed her mind?
Samantha’s whole face lit up. “That would be great, Dadi!”
Sam’s mother nodded toward the kitchen. “Go see what they have, and we’ll come up with a menu.” She grabbed Sam’s arm while Samantha entered the kitchen, greeting his father and Paige on the way. “Sam,” his mother whispered, “don’t break your daughter’s confidence by telling Maya about this Will. I’m sure it’s harmless.”
Sam stared down at his mother. “You’re enjoying her.”
“Well, yes.” His mother didn’t meet his eyes. “She’s intelligent and funny—I mean she is my grandchild.” She shrugged her shoulders as if she had never resisted the idea. It was the first time she’d actually looked happy to be a grandmother.
Sam sighed, and agreed against his better judgment. “Okay, fine. I won’t say anything.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
MAYA
New York, 2012
IT WAS TWO weeks before Christmas and the coffee shop was hopping. People doing their Christmas shopping in the cold always needed a break, and hot coffee was always the remedy. Maya and her mother baked extra cookies this time of year for the crowd, and the specialty cake orders increased every year. Her sense of accomplishment and pride generally made up for the lack of sleep and accompanying exhaustion, but this year, her focus waned. There was no question in her—or anyone else’s—mind as to why.
Ami leaned against the counter. “I heard Sunita-auntie finally went out with Raju-kaka.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
Maya grinned. “About time, don’t you think? I saw her before they left. She actually ditched the traditional salwar kameez for a skirt and top—very modest, of course—and get this—heels!”
“Go, Auntie!” Ami grabbed one of the cookies Maya was packing up for her.
“Do you have to do that every time?” Maya let out an irritated breath.
“Makes me feel like I’m getting away with something.” Ami took a bite and moaned. “I keep you as my best friend for these cookies alone. So, Christmas.” She flashed her eyes at Maya. “What are you doing?”
“Well, Samantha is going to Maryland with her dad for a few days.” Maya avoided her friend’s eyes. “So I’ll be here.” Heat rose to her face for no comprehensible reason.
“You still love him.” Ami was nothing if not blunt.
“Huh? What? We’re not even talking about him. No.” She fumbled with the box. “Ouch.”
“What’s that? Paper cut?” Ami arched a perfect eyebrow.
“Yeah. So? Don’t read into it.”
“Don’t read into the fact that you still love Sam and the mere mention of it has you fumbling and cutting yourself?”
Maya ignored her friend as she searched for a Band-Aid. Truth was, now that Sam was back, thoughts of him invaded her waking and sleeping hours. Not to mention that Samantha adored him, and he seemed to adore her back. That gave Maya warm, fuzzy feelings she could do without.
“He’s getting married.” Ami’s other talent was stating the obvious.
“I know. I’m making the cake.”
“So either fight for him or move on.”
“He’s clearly in love with Paige, and I actually kind of like her.” She fastened the Band-Aid around her finger, and murmured, “I had my chance. It’s gone.”
“When are you going to tell him whole truth of why you left? You have proof.”
“Never. I’m never going to tell him. What purpose would that serve?”
“Well, he could stop being pissed at you.”
“But he’ll be hurt. Not to mention, Samantha also loves Sam’s mom. And I’m not taking that away from my daughter.” She sighed and fussed with the pens near the register. “Either way, Ami, it was my decision to keep his child from him. I should’ve known he would love being a father, and I did not.” This conversation was dragging her heart into her stomach. She couldn’t keep going back to this.
Ami pointed a chocolate-covered finger at Maya and spoke through a mouthful of cookie. “You need to start dating again.” It was
nearly closing time, and only a few customers remained. Ami leaned on the counter by the register and licked the chocolate from her finger.
Maya delivered her best eye roll and continued to box up Ami’s treats. This was an old discussion and she was tired of it. Evasion was in order. “How do you eat like that and stay so thin?” Maya asked.
“Don’t change the subject,” Ami said. “It wouldn’t kill you to consider—”
“Hey, Maya! How’s it going?” The door chime and a friendly male voice interrupted their conversation. Maya and Ami turned to see who had entered.
“Well, well, well. What have we got here?” Ami positively purred, just loud enough for Maya to hear.
Maya turned deliberately from Ami to the customer. “Hey, Leo. Doing well, thanks.” She smiled. “Large house coffee and three extra special chocolate chip cookies?”
Leo winked at Maya. “You know me so well.” His gaze lingered on her, causing her to flush and break eye contact. She turned to fill his coffee and pack the cookies, then took the package to the register.
“Well, you make it easy. Same order every time.”
Ami scooted over slightly to allow Leo room near the register, but didn’t leave. She almost leered at him. He nodded at her, but focused his attention on Maya. “It gives me an excuse to come and see you.” His eyes were hopeful. “What do you say, Maya? How about dinner?”
“Leo.” Maya raised an eyebrow with exaggerated patience.
“Lunch?” he pressed.
She shook her head at him.
“Coffee, then. Surely you can do a cup of coffee?” He leaned on the counter, his grin sexy and inviting. Another woman would have melted. But Maya was unmoved.
She sighed and ignored Ami’s encouraging look. “Honestly, you flatter me. But—” she handed him his box and took his money “—my answer is the same as always. I don’t date.”
Ami gawked.
Leo chuckled softly. Again, it was probably sexy to other women. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He took his change and turned to leave. At the door he turned to look at Maya. “Maybe you’ll change your mind someday.”
“Goodbye, Leo.” Maya was friendly, but firm. He opened the door and walked out.
Ami rounded on Maya. “What’s wrong with him? Did you not see him?” She leaned her elbows on the counter and gazed dreamily at Maya. “Have you ever seen eyes that blue?” Her grin turned salacious. “And I swear I could see muscles through his coat.” Ami sighed and waved her hands at Maya without waiting for an answer. “Do you have something against completely hot guys—” at this she widened her eyes “—who like you and ask you out?”
“Aren’t you married?” Maya tried to laugh it off. Leo was quite attractive.
Ami simply shrugged. “I’m not dead,” she said. “I can certainly appreciate an attractive man—even if you can’t.”
Maya sighed. “I’m just not interested. I don’t date.” She stared back at Ami. “Don’t you remember all the disasters I’ve had over the years?” Ami had tried to set her up with various men over the years, but Maya could never bring herself to feel anything for them.
“Yes. But now Sam is back and you know he’s moved on. So maybe that’s enough for you to move on, as well.”
“Sam being back has nothing to do with it.” She ignored that annoying little voice inside her head that said, Yeah, right.
“Maya, save me the denial. You and I both know I’m right. Admit it, this Leo guy is cute. I saw you blush.”
“But...okay. He’s kind of cute.”
“Yes! Yes, he is.”
“But he asks me out every time he comes in here. Isn’t that weird?”
Ami rolled her eyes. “No! That’s persistent. Go out with him. One date. What could it hurt?” She softened and placed her hand on top of Maya’s. “It’s time to move on. You deserve a life outside your daughter and this shop.”
Maya recalled another boy who had been persistent, and the memory warmed and saddened her all at once. She was living in the past and it had to stop. She locked the door and began to close up for the evening.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
SAM
Maryland, 2012
SAM TOSSED ASIDE his covers and turned over his pillow. He lay on his back and stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets on the ceiling. Even the universe seemed intent on robbing him of sleep. He gently heaved himself out of his childhood bed, grabbed a sweatshirt against the December chill, and softly made his way downstairs past the kitchen to the bar. He poured himself two fingers of his father’s best bourbon and made his way to the sofa in the dark. He started to take his regular seat on the far end, and jumped up when he hit feet.
“Samantha?” He squinted at the form on the sofa.
“Yeah, Dad. It’s me.” She shifted her feet and sat up.
“Can’t sleep?” He sat down beside her.
“I miss Mom.”
Good thing it was dark enough that Samantha couldn’t see his face. His own lack of sleep was due to memories of Maya that continued to invade his thoughts. Same woman, keeping them both awake.
Samantha covered herself with a blanket. Sam sipped the bourbon. It warmed him. “Haven’t you ever been away from her?”
“Not at Christmas.”
“What do you usually do?”
Even though it was dark, Sam could tell his daughter was grinning. “Well, Sejal-masi and their family usually come up and we open presents first thing Christmas morning. Then Mom and I go to church while they cook brunch.”
“Mom takes you to church?” Sam could not hide the surprise in his voice. A lightness filled him. There was only one reason for Maya to have done that all these years. He smiled to himself. But why should that be a source of happiness for him? He forced the grin away, but the lightness remained.
“Well, yeah. I figured out years ago, it had something to do with my dad—you. I just never got her to admit it. She and Nani used to argue about it sometimes. Nani thought it wasn’t necessary.”
He couldn’t believe it. And he certainly couldn’t let himself think too deeply about what it might mean. He was engaged, for God’s sake.
“Tell me how you and Mom met.” Samantha interrupted his thoughts.
“Oh, I don’t think we should talk about all that.”
“Please! She never tells me anything.”
He was already starting to unravel. Thoughts of Maya interrupted his day and his night; he waffled between excitement when he was going to see her and anger at her for keeping Samantha from him all this time. Talking about their past had the potential to undo him.
In the dim light, Samantha widened her eyes in a plea, and Sam caught a glimpse of his brother in her smile. It gripped his heart and for just that second, Sam had proof that his brother had actually existed and was still with them in some form. Sam melted. If going down this road would undo him, then he would be undone. He swallowed a large sip of bourbon, relishing the burn as it made its way down.
“You know, she didn’t like me very much when we first met. She wouldn’t even talk to me unless she had to. But the first thing I remember about her was how beautiful—”
“What’s going on here?” Hema turned on a light, making Sam and Samantha squint in the sudden brightness. “Is it the Can’t-Sleep-Midnight-Crew?” Her hand flew to cover her mouth as if she had revealed a longtime family secret. Which she kind of had.
Sam’s heart stopped. The Can’t-Sleep-Midnight-Crew was what his mother used to call him and Arjun when she would catch them stealing midnight snacks. That she had referred to her dead son was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
“What’s the Can’t-Sleep-Midnight-Crew?” Samantha’s grin widened, and she scooted closer to Sam to make room for her grandmother on the sofa. She was all over that forbidden middle cushion, but his mother did not say a
thing.
Sam’s mother remained frozen in her spot, her eyes glazed over. “Mom?” Sam sat straight up. “Mom? Are you okay?” He started to stand.
“Oh my.” His mother shook her head and motioned for Sam to stay seated. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t used that phrase since...since...” She scanned the room as if it was written somewhere how long it had been.
“It’s okay, Mom. Here, sit next to Samantha.” Sam spoke slowly, his gaze on her face.
“Oh, of course, Samantha.” His mother smiled, as if seeing her granddaughter in the room for the first time. She sat down next to her grandchild.
Samantha looked to Sam for an explanation. He gave a quick shake of his head, indicating that she should drop it.
“The Can’t-Sleep-Midnight-Crew is what I used to call your father and his...his brother, whenever I caught them sneaking ice cream and junk food in the middle of the night.” His mother placed her hand on top of Samantha’s as if she could gain strength from it.
This time it was Sam who couldn’t speak. His mother continued, slowly at first, but with more ease as Samantha showed genuine interest in her father’s youth, as well as in Arjun, the uncle she’d never meet. Samantha clasped her grandmother’s hand in her own and never relaxed her grip.
Sam remained quiet as his mother conversed with his daughter. At times, the older woman’s eyes filled with tears, but somehow, his daughter knew what to say and how to say it.
“You know, not a day goes by, even after all these years, that I do not think of my Arjun.” Her voice trembled, but she composed herself. “But I see him in you, Samantha. And I feel like I have a part of him back.”
Tears burned in Sam’s eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he did not feel as though he was competing with his brother. A lightness fell over him, the likes of which he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“It’s a terrible thing to lose a child.”
“And to lose a dad.”
“What do you mean? You have your father, now.” She looked at her hands for a moment.
