The badger flew out of the bar and into the Jersey street. A second later, Shen heard a truck horn blare and brakes being jammed as the driver tried to stop in time. But nope. He and everyone else in the bar could hear that truck hit Creepy Roy.
Grinning, Max sort of danced out the door, but returned quickly. “He’s alive!” But then she added with a brutal laugh, “But he’s fucked up.” She looked at Charlie. “Unlike Dad, he didn’t roll with it.”
* * *
Stevie cringed. She’d hoped that a good beating from her and Max would be enough to keep Charlie out of it, but no. It hadn’t. Instead, Roy had been thrown in front of a truck. And he hadn’t rolled with it. One of the first things her sisters had taught her when they were growing up was how to “roll with it,” when hit by a moving vehicle. A skill that had saved Stevie’s life more than once.
And if Roy wasn’t such a reprehensible creep, she’d feel bad for him. But she didn’t. And she wouldn’t. He simply wasn’t worthy of her sympathy.
“You ready to go?” Shen asked.
“I am.”
But Stevie still had to figure out how to get her sisters to the club where the wild dogs were going to be. They had a few hours, but she knew her siblings. Once they got back to the house in Queens and put on some comfortable clothes, they were in for the night. So she needed to come up with an idea and quick.
As she tried to think of something, Shen gently placed her on the ground, and a few of her younger cousins came in through the front door, carrying several boxes.
One of them jerked a thumb behind him. “What happened to Creepy Roy?”
“Don’t worry about it,” one of the uncles said. “Have you got it?”
“We sure do!”
They pried the top off one of the boxes and Stevie watched in horror as her cousins dumped a ball of snakes onto the floor. A hissing, rattling, undulating ball of snakes!
Screeching, Stevie jumped back into Shen’s arms. But that didn’t feel like enough, so she climbed up his body until she was basically wrapped around his head. Her legs hung over his shoulders, and her hands were over his eyes.
“So you’re terrified of snakes too,” Shen calmly noted.
“They can swallow you whole!”
“These aren’t pythons or boas, sweetie,” one of her aunts happily called out. She had a snake already wrapped around her arm, its fangs dug in deep on her hand. “These are just vipers and cobras.”
Stevie shook her head. “How does that knowledge help me in any way?”
* * *
Shen had heard that honey badgers were big fans of live snakes, but he’d never thought they enjoyed them . . . like this.
They were all so happy. And eager. The bears weren’t, though. Neither was Stevie.
Max, however . . .
“Yes!” Max cheered before attempting to dive into the loose snakes slithering across the floor. But Charlie caught her sister by the back of the neck and yanked her away.
“No,” she said sternly.
“Oh, come on!” Max begged.
Charlie simply tossed her sister to the Dunns. Britta caught Max in her arms and was out the door before anyone else could say a word.
Dag followed right behind her. And it seemed as if Berg wanted to go, but he didn’t want to leave Charlie. She made that easy, though, when she barked, “Berg, get out!”
The grizzly went out the door at the perfect time. Because a rattler suddenly reared up and bit into Charlie’s leg.
“Oh, God,” Shen cringed.
“Don’t move,” Stevie warned.
“Yeah, but Charlie—”
“Can take care of herself. Look to your left.”
He did and saw a cobra slithering near. Trying not to scream like a girl, Shen moved his ass onto a barstool while Charlie reached down and unhitched the rattler from her leg. She then banged it again and again against one of the bar stools. When the snake was dead, she tossed it to one of her cousins, who bit the head off. Just like that. Bit it off and started chatting with one of her kin . . . while chewing.
Realizing he was more afraid of snakes then he knew, he asked Stevie, “How the fuck do we get out of here?”
“Bar top,” she said, pointing. “Bar top!”
Shen scrambled from the stool to the bar top. On all fours, he rushed across the bar with Stevie still on his back. She’d moved so her arms were around his shoulders and her legs around his waist.
For once, he completely understood why Stevie was freaking out. Because that ridiculous hissing sound—multiple hissing, no less!—was making him panic too. He just wanted to get them both out of there. To someplace safe.
Once Shen reached the other end of the bar, he quickly climbed down and went out the front door.
On the street, he stopped long enough to rest his arm on a van and his head on his arm.
“Are you okay?” Stevie asked him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine.”
Her fingers pressed against the side of his neck. “Your increased heart rate suggests you’re not fine.”
“I guess I’m just not a snake person.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I know.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, and pressed her cheek against his. “But I should have warned you that almost all honey badger events end with snakes. I just didn’t think they’d bring them out this early. It’s not even dark yet.”
Charlie stepped out of the bar. There were snakebites on her legs, hands, and one on her face.
“Oh, my God!” Berg was at her side, sweeping her into his arms.
Charlie gazed at him. “What are you doing?”
“Rushing you to a hospital . . . ?”
“Why?”
He glanced at his siblings and Britta, who still had a firm grip on the back of Max’s neck, gently pointed out, “Because you’re covered in snake bites, sweetie.”
“Oh, that. They’ll heal.” She patted the back of her hand against his chest and, frowning, Berg placed her back on the ground.
“So is everyone ready to go home now?” she asked.
“No!” Stevie barked, surprising them. “I mean . . . wouldn’t it be fun to go shopping, get some clothes, then hang out in the city tonight? Maybe go to a club!”
“No,” they all answered.
“Do it anyway,” Stevie begged. “For me.”
“I thought you’d want to head back to Queens,” Charlie softly suggested, “and stop by the emergency vet. Check on Benny.”
Stevie did want to go check on Benny. Especially because every time she called the animal hospital—which, she’d admit, was often—the receptionists got more and more testy. “No,” they’d say, “his status hasn’t changed in the thirty minutes since you last called.”
She shook her head and lied, “Nope. Don’t need to see him—I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Okay, Stevie,” Charlie said, “what did you do?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Who did you promise what? And why?”
Stevie placed her forehead on Shen’s shoulder. “Well . . .” she began. Then she just unloaded.
“You see, the damage I did to the Jean-Louis Parker house was getting into the six figures, a sum none of us can pay at the moment, except maybe Max, but only if she steals something expensive, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that, but the wild dog queen or Alpha female, whatever, she said she was considering taking the house away from Kyle’s family, but that didn’t seem fair because it was my fault, but then she said she wouldn’t do that if I brought you guys to something they called Wild Dog Night, which I’m afraid is just going to be a pit with dogs fighting, but I figured if it turned out to be that scenario, we could handle it at that time, so I said we’d be there, but ever since I’ve been trying to come up with a way to tell you guys but nothing ever really seemed to present itself, so now here we are.”
Shen wasn’t surprised
when Charlie, Max, and the bears just gazed at Stevie, none of them saying a word. And they stayed like that for more than a minute until the bar door opened and Dutch walked out with Kyle hanging from his back—and yes, Shen had completely forgotten about his client but that was not his fault . . . snakes!
Dutch had a half-eaten rattler clutched in his hand and blood covering his mouth and chin.
“So what’s next?” he asked before taking another bite from the rattler’s corpse. “I’m up for anything.”
chapter TWENTY-THREE
The leaders of the three shifter-only protection groups stared at each other for several long minutes. This was a very typical reaction for a wolf, a bear, and a cat when confronting each other out in the wild, and it was typical for three shifters of the same species to have the same reaction when confronting each other in a boardroom.
However, these stares weren’t caused by the desire to rip out the throat of another predator or even someone really annoying. Instead, they were caused by a rare moment of confusion.
When no one else spoke up, Van finally asked for clarification from Dee-Ann and Cella.
“She buried a car? An actual car?”
“An SUV,” Cella corrected.
“By herself?”
“Apparently.”
“Dee-Ann?” Van asked his younger cousin’s wife.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“Have we dug it out yet?” Ric asked.
“We’ll need wolves for that,” Cella said.
Before Van could ask why, Dee-Ann put on what he could only call a “little girl voice”—which actually sounded like something out of a horror movie—and mocked, “The kitties got sick because of the bad smell.”
“First off, bitch,” Cella verbally slapped back, “three of my people passed out cold, two vomited until their stomachs practically burst, and one is still recovering at the hospital.”
“From what was basically a fart.”
“It was not a fart, hillbilly,” Cella insisted. “She unloaded her anal sacks on those full-humans and between that and being buried in their SUV, I’m guessing getting them out would not be a rescue mission.”
“Why don’t you just admit that y’all kitty cats are weak?”
“Why don’t you admit that you lick your ass so much, you don’t even notice horrendous smells anymore?”
“Ladies!” Van cut in, “Please.”
“Were they sent by the twins?” Ric asked.
Both women shrugged.
“How long before you know one way or the other?”
“Not until we get them out of the ground, so we can find out who they are, where they came from, and what they were planning. But I’m not sure when any of that is going to be.” Cella’s entire face contorted in disgust. “It wasn’t just a scent, you know. There was a . . . residue.” Cella suddenly turned to look at Dee-Ann and said with great drama, “Rezzz-a-duuuuue.”
Both women started laughing, leaning against each other.
When they saw Van and Ric just staring at them, they stopped.
“You know,” Dee-Ann said, “I can round up some of my Pack and for a hundred bucks each, they’ll dig it up. But it’s a hundred bucks each. Don’t try to cheat ’em. My daddy warned me about you Van Holtz boys.”
Ric, gawking at Dee-Ann, threw his arms out wide. “Thank you very much . . . wife.”
She smiled. Nodded. “Welcome, darlin’.”
* * *
“Uncle Will wants you to do what?” Stevie asked her sister, sure she’d heard wrong.
“Open a bar so that the MacKilligans can use the basement to move illegal snakes around the coast for the benefit of paying honey badgers.”
“But they had snakes at the bar,” Kyle pointed out. “They didn’t seem to have a problem getting those.”
“They want to move the really dangerous ones. Tiger snakes, death adders, king cobras. Snakes like that.”
Max clapped her hands together. “The black mamba?”
“If you eat another one of those goddamn snakes . . .” Charlie warned, a threatening finger pointing at her from across the restaurant table where they were having dinner.
“Are you sure they just don’t want you to launder their money?” Berg asked, pushing his empty plate away.
“It doesn’t matter. We’re not doing it.”
“We do need the money,” Max reminded Charlie.
“We get tied up with Will, we’re in it for life. I don’t think that’s something any of us want.”
“Why are they being so nice to us?” Stevie wanted to know. “Our whole lives, they completely ignore us and now, all of a sudden, they’re being friendly. It’s weird.”
“Did we ever find out who Dad worked with to get the information he rounded up?” Charlie took a sip of her coffee. “The man can barely deal with his phone. So I doubt he’s become a hacker in his off time.”
“I’ve had some old friends of mine in Germany look into it, but they don’t have anything yet.”
“Why Germany?”
“That’s where my hacker friends are.”
“Oh.”
Max motioned to one of the waitresses and, when she arrived at the table, ordered a slice of chocolate cake.
“Which, to me,” she said once the waitress had left, “totally proves Dad had nothing to do with it. He couldn’t hide his tracks from a puppy.”
“Maybe the family’s being so nice because they’re hoping we’ll lead them to their money,” Stevie suggested.
Charlie chuckled. “The sad thing is, even if we could, Dad’s already lost all that money. You know if he’d come to our house tonight, he would be begging for cash because he’s completely broke. Again.”
More coffee was poured, a few desserts arrived, and they relaxed until Berg glanced at his watch and said, “I think we’d better go.”
Stevie put her head on the table, feeling nothing but shame.
“I’m so sorry about this, you guys,” she told her sisters and friends.
“For what?” Max asked.
“For making you do this.” She brought her head back up. “I’m always asking you guys for stuff.”
Charlie and Max looked at each other, then back at her.
“What are you talking about?” Charlie asked. “You never ask us for anything.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
Stevie raised her eyebrows at Max, but she shook her head. “Nope. The only thing you’ve ever asked me for was to ‘shut the fuck up.’ And that was usually when you were working or on the phone. Other than that . . .”
“So, yeah,” Charlie said, “to save us from paying money we don’t have to repair a house that isn’t ours, I think we can spend some time with a bunch of wild dogs.”
Max agreed. “Besides, how bad could it be?”
Shen snorted next to Stevie and everyone looked at him, except Kyle, who suddenly found something interesting to stare at right outside the restaurant window.
* * *
“Dear God,” Max whispered. “It’s karaoke.”
“With your choice of a full band or playback,” Charlie noted.
Stevie shook her head. “Nope. Nope. Nope.”
She turned to walk out but Charlie grabbed her around the waist and yanked her back.
“This is going to save us six figures,” she reminded her sister.
“But,” Stevie said, almost sobbing, pointing at the stage, “there’s a lion male up there and he’s caterwauling.”
“True.” Max lightly swung her fist. “But he’s putting his all into it.”
“We’re staying,” Charlie ordered. “And we’re just going to suck up the pain the way we always suck up the pain. But first I’m getting a drink.”
Stevie spun around, sensing that Shen and Kyle were standing behind her.
“You knew, didn’t you?” she demanded. “You both knew and you didn’t warn me!”
The pair
stared at her a moment before they both started laughing.
“Do you have any idea what torture this is for me?”
Kyle raised his hand. “I do!” He lowered his hand. “Sorry.”
“Oh, my God!” she exploded. “What is that cat singing?”
“Pat Benatar’s ‘Shadows of the Night,’” Jess Ward said, stepping beside Stevie.
Stevie glared at the woman who’d just made the rest of her evening hell. “You didn’t tell me Wild Dog Night involved karaoke.”
“You didn’t ask. Besides, I know you like music.”
“Yes. Music. Not caterwauling.” She pointed at the stage. “That’s caterwauling!”
“Can I speak to you for a second?”
Before Stevie could say no and storm off, Ward had gripped her arm and yanked her into a backroom behind the bar.
* * *
Shen joined the rest of their group at a huge, half-circle booth, reserved just for them. It was between a similar booth on the left, filled with wild dogs, and another on the right, filled with a Pride of lions and other cats.
He sat down beside Kyle, taking the beer someone had put in front of the kid and drinking it down in several gulps.
“No alcohol,” he told Kyle.
“I didn’t ask for it.”
“Look,” Shen began, “I’m sorry.”
Frowning, confused, Kyle shook his head a bit. “You said I can’t legally drink.”
“Not that. I left you alone earlier today in that crazy bar with snakes. Dutch had to get you out. I’ll understand if you want to replace—”
“It’s not like you had a choice. Stevie was wrapped around your head like a spider monkey. And I’m not surprised she was your first priority.”
“She doesn’t pay me. Your parents do.”
“But you’re in love with her.” And the kid said it so . . . calmly! Why was he so calm?
“I am not. I’m—”
Kyle had already rolled his eyes and turned away to talk to Oriana. Where had she come from? Shen stopped talking, But then he noticed that Coop and their sister Cherise were also tucked into the booth and smiling at Shen. Like they knew something.
This whole wild dog “event” was turning into a nightmare.
* * *
“Okay,” Ward said, standing in front of the closed door, “this is what we need from you.”
In a Badger Way Page 31
