CHAPTER XLVI.
Sahib, can I describe to you the passions which then burned in myheart? I cannot. A thousand thoughts whirled through my brain, till Ithought myself mad; perhaps I was. Revenge for my father was uppermost;and oh that I could have got loose: by Alla! unarmed as I was, methinksI would have sprung on the Rajah and strangled him. But resistance wasunavailing; the more I struggled, the tighter my arms were bound, untilthey swelled so that the pain became excruciating, and I well nigh sunkunder it. I suffered my guards to lead me away from the Durbar; I wasthrust into a vile hole, and at last my arms were unbound.
That day--Alla, how it passed! Men gazed at me in my cage as thoughI had been a tiger, and mocked and derided me. The boys of the townhooted me, and thrust sticks at me through the iron gratings. One andall reviled me in the most opprobrious terms they could devise,--me!the respectable, nay the wealthy, to whom they had bowed before, whenI basked in the sunshine of the Rajah's favour--but I was degradednow. Alas! my dreams, my forebodings had come to pass--they had beenindefinite shadows--this was the reality. Alla! Alla! I raved, I calledupon Azima's name, I implored those who still lingered about my prisonto fly and bring me news of her, and to comfort her; and I cursed themwhen they derided me, and mocked my cries. Azima, the name that mightnot have been breathed by mortal out of the precincts of my zenana,became a word in the mouths of the rabble, and they jested on it, theyloaded it with obscene abuse, and I heard it all. In vain I strove tostop my ears,--it provoked them the more; they shouted it close to theiron bars and spat at me. Night came, and I was left in my loneliness.I should have been in her fond embrace--now I shared the company ofthe rat, the lizard, and the scorpion. It was in vain that I courtedsleep, to steep my senses in a temporary oblivion of their misery; myframe was too strong, and my anguish too great, for it to come to me.I wrestled with my agony, but I overcame it not, and I had to drinkthe bitter cup to the dregs. At last the morning broke; I performedthe Namaz: the dust of the floor served me instead of sand or waterfor my ablutions. Water I had none; I had begged for it, for my mouthwas parched and dry with anxiety, yet no one gave it. Again the courtwas filled; old and young, women and children, all came to look at theSyud--to look at Ameer Ali the Thug--to deride him, and torment him!But I was now sullen; like a tiger, when his first rage, after he hasbeen entrapped, has subsided, I cowered into the corner of my cell, andcovered my face with my waistband, nor heeded their savage unfeelingmirth, nor the bitter words they poured out against me. In vain wasit that I now and then looked around to see whether one kind pityingglance rested on me. Alas! not one; every face was familiar to me, butthe eyes either spoke a brutal satisfaction at my sufferings, or turnedon me with the cold leaden stare of indifference. I tried to speakseveral times, but every murmur was hailed with shouts from the rabblebefore me, and my throat was parched and my tongue swelled from ragingthirst.
The whole day passed--I had no food, no water. It was in the height ofthe burning season, and I, who had been pampered with luxuries, whoin my own abode should have drunk of refreshing sherbets, prepared byAzima, was denied a drop of water to cool my burning throat. In vain Iimplored those nearest to me, in words that would have moved aught buthearts of stone, to intercede with the Jemadar who guarded my prisonto allow me a draught of the pure element. I might as well have spokento the scorching blast that whistled into my cage, bringing with itclouds of dust, which were increased by the unfeeling boys when theysaw I shrank from them. Thus the day passed: evening came, and stillno water, no relief, no inquiry into my condition. Had I been placedthere to die? And no sooner had the thought flashed across my mind thanI brooded over it. Yes, I was to die! to expire of thirst and hunger;and then, oh how I envied my father's fate! his was a quick transitionfrom the sorrows and suffering he had undergone during one short hour,to Paradise and the houris.
And from evening, night, I had watched the declining sun, till itslast fiery and scorching beams fell no longer on my prison-floor--Iwatched the reddened west until no glare remained, and one by one thestars shone out dimly through the thick and heated air--and I thought Ishould see the blessed day no more, for I was sick and exhausted evento death. I lay me down and moaned, in my agony of spirit and of body,and at last sleep came to my relief. For a time all was oblivion; buthorrible dreams began to crowd my prison with unsightly shapes andharrowing visions; my life passed as though in review before me, andthe features of many I had strangled rose up in fierce mockery againstme,--faces with protruding tongues and eyes, even as I had left themstrangled.
Why describe them to you, Sahib? why detain you with a description ofthe horrors of the scenes which rose to my distempered fancy, and atlast woke me, burning as though a fire raged in my bowels, and wouldnot be quenched? But morning broke at last, and the cool air once moreplayed over my heated and fevered frame, and refreshed me. Yet I wasstill in agony;--who can describe the sufferings of thirst? Hunger Ifelt not: thirst consumed me, and dried up my bowels. How anxiously andimpatiently I looked for the first man who should enter the court wheremy prison was! One came, he passed through and heeded not my piteouscries: another and another: none looked on me, and again I thought Iwas to die. Another came; I called, and he turned to regard me. He wasone that I knew, one who had eaten of my bread and my salt, and hadbeen employed about my house, and he had pity; he had a remembrance ofwhat I had done for him: he came, and looked on me. I spoke to him,and he started, for my voice was hollow, and thin and hoarse. "Water!"cried I, "for the sake of the blessed Prophet, for the sake of yourmother, one drop of water! I have tasted none since I was confined."
"Alas!" said he in a low tone, "how can it be, Meer Sahib? the Rajahhas threatened any one with death who speaks to you or brings you food."
Again I implored; and I who had been his master prostrated myself onthe ground and rubbed my forehead in the dust. He was moved--he hadpity and went to fetch some; fortunately no one saw him, and he broughta small earthen pot full, which I drank as though it had been that ofthe well of Paradise. Again and again he took it and refilled it; andat last he left me, but not before he had promised to visit me in thenight, bring me a cake of bread if he could, and, more than all, newsof Azima and of my house.
The next day passed, and I had no food. I treasured up the water whichhad been left with me and sipped it now and then; but by nightfallagain I was in torment. Yet I had hopes, for I knew that the young manwould not deceive me; he had sworn by his mother's head to bring mefood, and he could not break his oath.
And he came. I had sat watching, with that anxiety which can only beknown by those who have been in a situation like mine, listening toevery distant footfall, to every noise, as though it were the step ofhim I looked for. I have said he came; he was muffled in a blanket, andhad stolen in unobserved by the lazy sentinel at the gate; he broughtme food, a few coarse cakes, and an earthen pot of milk. "Eat!" said hein a low tone; "I will sit here, and will tell you the news you bade meinquire for afterwards. I was ravenous, and I ate; coarse bread, suchas I should have loathed three days before, was now a luxury, sweet andgrateful; I ate it, drank the milk, and was thankful; and I called himand blessed him for his venturous daring, and for his gratitude to onewho could no longer do him a kind turn. "And the news, Gholam Nubbee?can you tell me aught of _her_ and my child?"
"My news is bad, Meer Sahib, and I am the unwilling messenger oftidings which will grieve your soul and add to your misery."
"Say on," said I: "tell me the worst; tell me she is dead, and you willonly say what my soul has forewarned me of."
He paused for a while. "You must know it sooner or later, MeerSahib--she is dead."
"And my child?" "She is with the good Moola who protected your wifewhen she had no longer a house to cover her, and who performed the lastrites of our faith to her when she was dead."
"No home!" cried I; "they did not drive her forth?"
"They did, Meer Sahib. The Rajah sent soldiers, your house was strippedof everything, and your gold and silver, they sa
y, was a prize helittle expected; your wife and child were turned into the street, withonly the clothes they had upon their persons. But to her it littlemattered, for I have heard she never spoke from the time she knew ofyour father's fate and the cause of your imprisonment. They say shesat in stupor, like a breathing corpse, without speaking a word to saywhere her pain was."
"Enough!" said I, "go; may Alla keep you! I would now be alone, forgrief sits heavy on me."
Then she was dead--my Azima, my beloved!--she for whom I could myselfhave died,--she whom I had loved as man can only love once--she wasdead; she had known that I was a Thug, and that had killed her. Itwas well--better far that she should have died, than lingered on tobe scoffed at and insulted as the wife of one who was now a convictedmurderer. Had she lived I could never have dared to approach her, forshe was pure, and I--!
I may say I almost rejoiced at her death, Sahib; I did not grieveas I should have done had the blow fallen on me while I was yet inprosperity--then it would have been hard indeed to bear; but now I wasaltered, and she was dead, and again I say it was well. Alla in hismercy had taken her from her scene of suffering, almost before she knewto its full extent the horrible reality. And my child too was safe; shewas in friendly hands, and the Moola would be a father to her.
The day after the nocturnal visit of my humble friend, food was allowedme; it was scanty to be sure, but still I existed, though worn downby sufferings, which I have no words to express, to a shadow of whatI was. Three months passed thus, and they appeared to me like yearswhen I looked back on them. At the end of this time I was taken tothe Rajah's Durbar. Few were the words he spoke to me, but those werebitter ones; for he had shared my spoil, taxed me for protection, and,after putting my father to death, he had plundered my home, and hisbooty was the accumulation of mine for years past. I say my father, andyet he had told me he was not my parent. But what mattered that now?he was dead, and the mystery of my birth, if any had ever existed, wasgone with him. What mattered it too who was my father? I was alone inthe world; not a tie, save one, bound me to existence. My daughter waswith strangers, and in a few years she would forget me,--truly I mightsay I was alone.
I was in the Rajah's Durbar--I had no friend; no one of all thoseby whom he was surrounded, who had formerly courted me, eaten of mybread, and flattered me that I was yet to rise to greatness under hispatronage--not one spoke for me, not one interceded to avert my shame.The Rajah spoke to me. "Ameer Ali," said he, "I had trusted thee, I hadthought thee honest (how he lied as he spoke!), I had believed thee arich and fortunate merchant; but, O man! thou hast deceived me, and notme alone, but thousands, and thou art a Thug and a murderer. Still,because I have a lingering sentiment of kindness towards thee, I do notseek thy death; justice has been satisfied in the destruction of thehoary villain who made thee what thou art, and who led one who mighthave been an ornament to the world to be a wretch upon whose head isthe blood of hundreds. Yes, Ameer Ali, I speak truth, and thou knowestit. And though I desire not thy death, yet thou canst not be releasedwithout a mark on thy brow that men may know and beware of. Throw himdown," cried he to the attendants, "and let him be branded!"
They threw me down. Sahib, what could my attenuated and wasted frame doagainst men who had suffered no misery like mine? I struggled, yet itwas unavailing; they held my arms, and legs, and head, and a red-hotpice was pressed upon my forehead; it was held there as it burnt downto the bone, ay, my very brain seemed to be scorched and withered bythe burning copper. They took it off, and raised me up. Alla! Alla! theagony that I endured--the agony of pain, and, more than that, of shame;to be branded publicly that the world might think me a thief; to have amark set on my forehead that I must carry to my grave--a mark only seton the vile and on the outcasts from society. Sahib, it was a bittercup to quaff!
"Away with him!" cried the Rajah, "away with him! Release him at theboundary of my territory. And mark me," he continued, addressinghimself to me, "I have given thee thy life, Ameer Ali; go and be wise;learn by what has happened to be an honest man for the future; and,above all, remember that if ever thou art seen in Jhalone again, or inany of my towns or villages, nothing will be able to save thee from thefeet of an elephant."
He rose and strode out of the Durbar; and, in pain and misery, I wasconducted in two days to the frontier of his country and unbound. Tworupees were given to me, and again the wide and cruel world was beforeme. I hurried from my late keepers. I bound my turban over my stillburning and aching brow, so that man might not see my shame, and tookthe road before me. I wandered almost unconscious of anything, save thepain I was suffering, until night fell around me, and I directed mysteps to a village, the lights of which were a short distance beforeme. Exchanging one of my rupees, I sat down at the shop of a Bhuttearaand satisfied my craving appetite. There I slept, and when I arose Iwas refreshed, and again believed myself to be Ameer Ali. The morningbreeze blew fresh on my face as I took my way out of the town; therefreshing rest of the night had invigorated me, and I bounded alongwith a light heart--yes, with a light heart,--for I was free! I hadno thought for the past now. It was my fate which had been fulfilled:what had been written in my destiny had come to pass. As I proceeded, ajackass brayed on my right hand, and I hailed the favourable omen witha joy I can feebly express. Yes, great Bhowanee, mother of men! criedI, aloud, I answer to thy omen; I am ready, and again devoted to thyservice. I have sinned against thee; I had wilfully avoided thy warningomens, led on by an irresistible destiny and by a proud heart. I havebeen punished, and have bought a dear experience; but henceforward novotary of thine breathing shall excel Ameer Ali in devotion to thee;and therefore, great goddess, vouchsafe the Thibao and Pilhaoo. Andthey were granted; the omen on the right was followed by that on theleft, and I felt that I was pardoned, and again accepted as a Thug.
And so you believe, Ameer Ali, said I, that your not observing theomens in the instances you related was the cause of your father's deathand your misfortunes?
Assuredly, Sahib; I was a sceptic till then, as I have told you, but Iwas now no longer one; had I not cause to believe in the truth of theomens? And had I obeyed them then should I have the heavy crime I hadcommitted still rooted in my heart? No, no! omens cannot, dare not bedisobeyed; and I have never known an instance in which they were, orwhere a band had been led to destroy a person against the wishes ofBhowanee, that they were not all punished by her vengeance, either withdomestic misfortune, imprisonment, or death. Ask any Thug you know, andhe will tell you the same. I never doubted omens afterwards, and haveallowed some rich prizes to escape me, because I feared that they werenot completely propitious.
Well, Sahib, to continue. I pressed forward; I again untied my roomal,for that had never quitted my waist, and I welcomed it to my graspas I should have done the embrace of an old and valued friend. Withsuch omens, thought I, I cannot be unsuccessful; and over any singletraveller, were he Roostum himself, I can gain a victory. I had but onerupee and some pice; my clothes were in rags about me, and I must haveothers before I could venture to associate myself with Thugs, and hopeto lead them.
But I travelled long, and met no person alone; and when noon came, andthe sun's heat had overcome me, I lay down under a tree by the roadside near which was a well; and having washed and bathed and said theNamaz, I waited to see what chance would throw in my way. There I sata long time, but no one passed me, and overcome by fatigue I droppedasleep. I was awakened by a touch from some one, and looking up Ibeheld a middle-aged Mussulman gazing upon me. I arose rapidly, andreturned his "Salam Aleikoom" as kindly as he had given it. Fortunatelymy face remained well wrapped up, and the brand on my forehead couldnot be seen; he took me to be a traveller like himself, and as he wasweary, he sat down and we entered into conversation such as usuallypasses between persons situated as we were. After he had been seatedfor a few minutes, he loosed a small wallet from his shoulder, andopening it displayed some cakes and mango pickle, to which he seemedto be inclined to do ample justice; but seeing that I looked wistfullyat
them he invited me to join his repast, which I was right glad todo, as I had fasted since the morning. When we had finished our meal,he said to me, "Meer Sahib, you say there is no water for some coss inthe direction I am going; and therefore, if you will kindly watch myclothes and arms, I will bathe in this well."
"Surely," I replied; "I am in no hurry to be gone, and you will notdelay me." As I said it he began to strip, and taking with him alota, he descended the steps of the well, and I soon after heard thesplashing of the water as he poured it over himself. Now is my time,thought I; he will be defenceless, and will fall an easy prey to me;and I prepared my roomal for work.
He soon returned, and began to dress. I loitered near him, till I sawhim take up his garment and put both his arms into the sleeves to drawit over him. It was a capital opportunity, and I closed behind him asif to assist him; he turned to me, and as he had just accomplished hispurpose, I had finished mine. The roomal was about his neck, and in afew moments he was dead at my feet!
I had no time to lose; so hastily stripping the band from his waist, inwhich there seemed to be money, I dragged the body to the edge of thewell and threw it in. I then arranged his clothes at the head of thesteps, as though he had taken them off to bathe, and left them there;his lota I left also with them; and taking up his sword and shield, Igirded the first to my waist, and the shield to my back, and pursuedmy way at as quick a pace as I could. No one will imagine he has beenmurdered, thought I; the clothes on the brink of the well will causeit to be supposed that he died in the water; and I chuckled over mysuccess and strode along joyfully. But, the more to avoid detection, Istruck off from the road I was travelling, and seeing the groves andwhite temple of a village at some distance I bent my steps towards it;there I purchased some goor, and ate the tupounee, as a good Thug oughtto do, and after that I opened the humeana to see what my good fortunehad sent me.
And so you murdered the first man who had shown you any kindness afteryour misfortunes. Oh, Ameer Ali, you are indeed a villain! you ateof his bread and salt, and murdered him! The recompense of a Thugcertainly.
But what could I do, Sahib? I should have starved most likely had I notkilled him. Besides he was the first traveller I met after those goodomens; he was neither blind nor lame; assuredly therefore he was bunij.It must have been his fate to die, or I should not have gone to sleepunder that tree. Had I met him in the road, I should have hesitated toattack him: indeed, unarmed as I was, I dared not have done so. But, asI was saying, I examined the humeana; I found in it nineteen rupees,a gold nose-ring, and two gold rings for the fingers which were worthat least forty rupees. Ul-humd-ul-illa! I cried, this is rare fortune;here is enough to last me for three months, and to provide me with newclothes; and it will be hard but in that time I find out some of mybrethren.
I searched around the village to endeavour to find some traces ofThugs in the mango and tamarind groves by which it was environed; andthough I discovered some fire-places, with the peculiar marks of mybrethren in them, yet they were old, the rain had more than half washedthem away, and the marks would have been undistinguishable to a lessexperienced Thug than myself. I could discover no further clue fromthem, though I walked for some time in the direction they pointed.
Wandering along the next day, I reached Calpee on the Jumna, andsitting one morning at the shop of a pan-seller, some persons stoppedat it, and talking among themselves, I understood that they were goingto Chutterpoor. Chutterpoor, thought I,--what an owl I have been!there must be Thugs there, and I had forgotten it. So I immediatelydetermined, if possible, to accompany them. I watched them to abunnea's empty shop, before which, in the street, were tied four tattoosand some bullocks; and without ceremony I told them I had overheardtheir conversation, that I was also going to the town to which theywere journeying, and, if they would allow me and pardon my intrusion, Ishould be glad to travel in their company, as I was alone, knew not theroad, and was afraid of robbers.
"Since you are alone, you may come, and welcome," said the man Iaddressed. "But we are going by Bandah, which is not exactly in thedirect road to Chutterpoor, and our business may detain us there a dayor two; if, therefore, delay is of no consequence to you, come with us;you seem to be a soldier, and we are poor merchants who would be gladof your protection."
"Such as I am, good sir," said I, "I am at your service, and willgladly accompany you to Bandah."
"Good!" replied the man; "we start early, and you had better be with usbetimes; or you can spread your carpet here as you please."
"I will do the latter," replied I, "and be with you by the evening."
Bandah! thought I; another place full of Thugs--at least it used to be.I shall see at any rate, and if I find any, I may then alter my route.I joined them in the evening, as I had promised, and we reached Bandahin a few days by long marches. Here they declared they would stay fourdays, so that I had ample time before me to search the place for Thugs,should any reside there. Nor was I disappointed in my hope of meetingthem. I was sauntering through the town in the evening of the day wearrived, when I met Hoormut, an old follower of Ganesha; he did not atfirst recognise me, as may readily be imagined, and when I gave him ourtoken of recognition, he stared as though I had been an apparition;however, he was soon convinced of my reality, and I accompanied him tohis house. The relation of my adventures and mishaps occupied a longtime, and after I had finished them I naturally asked for an account ofmy old associate Ganesha. What I heard was gratifying to me; Hoormutdeclared him to be in misfortune, abandoned by his followers, and thathe was wandering with one or two men somewhere in the neighbourhoodof Saugor, preferring the precarious chance of booty in the junglesbetween that place and Nagpoor, to frequenting the more open andtravelled country. Next followed questions as to my present plans; andwhen he heard I was alone and travelling with merchants, of courseit naturally followed that some plan should be undertaken for theirdestruction.
"Look you, Meer Sahib," said he, "I believe I can muster as many asfifteen Thugs in and near this place. I am not suspected as yet, butthe country is getting too hot for us, and we must either quit it orgive up Thuggee, which no man, you well know, can do after he haseaten the goor; the others are of the same way of thinking, and we haddetermined that we would leave this place for good after the rains, andgo wherever our fate might lead us."
We soon afterwards separated for the time, Hoormut promising to collectthe men by the next evening. I joined him again by the time appointed,and found the whole assembled. I was received with exultation, forthey had wanted a leader in whom they could confide, and mine was aname which, in spite of my recent misfortunes, they could look upto. I knew none of them, but they swore on the pickaxe to follow me;Hoormut vouched for their several capabilities and fidelity, and I wassatisfied.
Our plan was soon formed. They were to go by two stages to a villagethey knew; there they were to wait for my arrival with the merchants.Beyond the village was a favourite bhil of theirs, and they would haveeverything prepared against our coming up. All this being settled, wefixed the next morning (it being Monday and a lucky day) to observe theomens and open the expedition with due form. The omens were declared tobe satisfactory, and by noon my new companions had started with theirfamilies for their station on the road.
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