CHAPTER XLVIII.
Again I was in prison; and although not in such wretched plight as Ihad been at Jhalone, for the cell was roomy and tolerably clean, yetstill it was a prison,--confinement to my limbs and to my spirit; aconviction which threatened my life hung over me; and as I saw noprospect of escape, I was resigned to die, and to meet my fate like aman and a Thug who had been familiar with death from his childhood. Wesat in silence, and my wretched companion, old as he was, clung to theidea of life with a fondness that I felt not. He had no ties on earthto bind him to it, he had never had any, yet he longed to live. I _had_possessed them,--they were all broken, and life had no charms for me. Icould not say that I wished for death, but I was indifferent to my fate.
A week passed thus--a long, interminable week. In vain was it that Iimplored my jailors to relieve me from suspense, to tell me whether Iwas to live or die: either they knew not, or their hearts were hardenedtowards me; they would not tell me. But after the expiration of thisperiod, we were not long ignorant of our sentence. We were informedthat seven of our companions had been hanged, as they had been detectedin the act of strangling the travellers. But there was no evidenceagainst us so conclusive; the merchants who had escaped the fate oftheir associates could not swear that we had murdered any of those whohad perished; and the horsemen who had captured us knew no more thanthat we were of the party. If this had been all, we should probablyhave been released; but one of the miserable men who had been executed,in a vain attempt to preserve his life, confessed his crimes; and bythis last stroke of ill fortune we were convicted, and the decree wentforth that we were to be imprisoned for life.
Despair seized on my faculties at the announcement of this hardsentence. Death in its most horrible shape would have been courtedjoyfully by me in preference to it. To linger out years and years inthat wretched hole, never to be free again! I could not believe it: Itried to shut out the dreadful reality from my mind, but in vain. Iimplored that they would lead me to instant execution, that I might beimpaled, or blown away from a gun, or hanged,--anything rather thanhave my miserable existence protracted in the solitude and suffering ofa prison. But my entreaties were laughed at or scorned. I was loadedwith a heavy chain, which confined my legs, my companion the same,and we were left to our fate. Still my restless spirit held out to mehopes of escape,--hopes that only mocked me, for every plan I formedbecame utterly impracticable, and this only increased my misery. Oneday I bethought me of the money I had collected before I was seized.It was hidden, and it was not improbable that my hoard had remainedundiscovered. With this I fondly hoped I should be enabled to bribe oneof my jailors; and the idea comforted me for many days, while I waitedfor an opportunity to put it into execution.
There was one among the guards of the prison, a young man, who wasalways kinder in his deportment to us than any of the others. Thefood he brought us was better, and the water always pure and in aclean vessel. He used to cheer us too sometimes with the hope thatour imprisonment would not last so long as had been decreed; and heinstanced the cases of several criminals who had been sentenced likeus, but who had been released when the memory of their crimes hadceased to occupy the minds of the officers in charge of the prison. Hehad our clothes washed for us, and did a thousand kind acts--triflesperhaps, but still more than we experienced from any other of hiscompanions.
It was with him, therefore, that I proposed to my fellow-captive to tryour long-brooded and cherished scheme of deliverance. The next time itwas his turn to attend us, I begged he would come to the cell at nightor in the evening, when he would be secure from observation, for that Ihad something particular to communicate to him. He came in the eveningof that day, and seated himself, muffled in a dark-coloured blanket,close to the bars of our cell.
"You have something to say I think," said he in a low tone, "and I havedone your bidding; I am here."
"I have, good Meer Sahib," said I, (for he was also a Syud;) "listen,for what I would communicate to you will be for your benefit, if youwill enter into my plans."
"Say on," replied the youth; "you may command my utmost exertions."
"To be brief then," I continued, "you must endeavour to effect ourescape."
"It is impossible," he said.
"Not so," cried I; "nothing is impossible to willing hands and stouthearts. You can manage everything if you will but listen to me. When wewere apprehended, we had saved a round sum of money, which is concealedin a spot I can tell you of, if you will be faithful to us. Half of itshall be yours, if you will only aid us."
"How much is it?" he asked.
"Upwards of five hundred rupees," said I; "it was securely hidden, andno one can have discovered it. I repeat, half of it shall be yours ifyou will assist us."
"How can I?" cried he, in a tone of perplexity; "how is it possiblethat you can pass these doors and walls, even were you as free as I amat this moment?"
"Leave that to me," said I; "do you accept the offer?"
"I will consider of the matter, and will be here at this timeto-morrow, to give you a final answer."
"May Alla send you kind thoughts to the distressed! we shall look foryour decision with impatience."
The next evening he came at the same time, and seated himself asbefore. "What would you have me do, Meer Sahib?" he asked; "I am readyto obey your commands if they are practicable. First, however, I mustbe secure of the money you have mentioned; I must receive it before Iperil my situation, and, more than that, my life in your behalf."
"Listen then, Meer Sahib," said I; "I trust you,--you are a Syud and Ialso am one; you dare not deceive me, and incur the wrath of Alla."
"I will not, by the Prophet, whose descendant I am," said he; "were theKoran in my hands this moment, I would swear upon it."
"No, no," said I, "do not swear; the word of an honest man is far morebinding than an oath. I believe that you are true, and therefore it isthat I trust you. First, then, as regards the money; do you remembertwo old tombs, one of them much broken, which stand near the river'sbrink over the the north side of the city, about a cannon-shot from thewall?"
"I do, perfectly."
"Then," I continued, "in that broken one is an earthen vessel,containing the money; the vault where of old the body of the personover whom the tomb was erected was deposited, can be opened by removingfour stones, which are loose, from the eastern side of it; they areneither large nor heavy, and you can manage the matter alone. In thecavity you will find the vessel, and the money is in it. I shallrequire half for my expenses. Now all I ask you for the present to doin return is, to procure us two small and sharp files and some ghee;and when we have cut through our chains, and one of these bars, I willtell you how you can aid us further."
"I will perform all you wish," said the youth; "and Inshalla! youshall have the files to-morrow night by this time, if I find that yourstatement about the money is true."
He then left us, and we anxiously and impatiently awaited his comingthe next day. Nor did he disappoint us. "I have come, as you see, MeerSahib," he said; "and behold, here are the files for you--they areEnglish, and new and sharp; here too is the ghee. I have fulfilled mypromise."
"And the money?" I asked.
"Without it you would not have seen me to-night, I can tell you, MeerSahib. I have got it; the amount is five hundred and fifty rupees, andyou shall be welcome to your share when you have got out of this hole.And how do you intend to manage this part of your scheme?"
"Are the gates of the prison shut at night?" I asked.
"No," he replied; "that is, the gate is shut, but the wicket is alwaysopen."
"And how many men guard it?"
"Only one, Meer Sahib; the rest sleep soundly after midnight."
"It is well," said I; "we can but perish in the attempt, and I for onewould gladly die, rather than linger out a wretched existence here."
"And I also," said my companion.
"I fear I cannot assist you," said the man: "yet stay, suppose you wereto attempt your escape when I
am on guard. I shall have the last watchto-morrow night."
"May the blessing of Alla rest on you!" said I; "you have anticipatedmy thoughts. We will attempt it then, and may the Prophet aid us. Allnight we will work at our irons and one of these bars, and to-morrownight we shall be free. Go, kind friend, you do but risk detection inbeing seen here."
He left us, and we set to work with a good will to cut the irons onour legs and the bar. All night we worked, and the morning's light sawthe iron bar nearly cut through at the top and bottom; to cut it atthe top, one of us sat down by turns, while the other standing on hisshoulders filed till his arm was tired. Despite of the ghee, however,the files made a creaking noise; we tried to prevent this by usingthem slowly, but in the excitement of the moment this was at timesforgotten, for we worked hard for our liberty.
The morning broke, and we rested from our labour; one strong shakewould have separated the bar, and our irons were so nearly cut throughat the ancles and the waist, that a slight wrench would have dividedthem. Our friend we knew was faithful, for he had proved himself so,and we enjoyed a silent anticipation of our eventual triumph. "Thistime to-morrow," I exclaimed, "we shall be free, far from Lukhnow, andthe world again before us, wherein to choose a residence!"
My companion was as full of hope as I was, and we passed most of themorning in debating whither we should go, and calling to mind thenames of our former associates who would welcome us, and join us inseeking new adventures. It was about noon, I think, that a party of thesoldiers of the prison, headed by the Darogha, approached our cell. Myheart sunk within me as I saw them coming, and the haste with whichthey advanced towards us increased my alarm and apprehension. "We arelost!" said I to my companion; "they have discovered our plans." Hedid not reply, but despair was written on his countenance. The Daroghaapplied his key to the lock; it was opened, and the whole party rushedin and seized us.
"What new tyranny is this?" I exclaimed; "what new crime have wecommitted, that we are again to be ill-treated?"
"Look to their irons!" cried the Darogha to his men.
"You have been busy it seems," said he to us, when they found them inthe state I have described. "Let me give you a piece of advice; whenyou next file your irons, either use more ghee or make less noise. Butyou will hardly have another opportunity, I think. Search them well,"continued he to the men; "see where these instruments are which theyhave used so cleverly."
They stripped us stark naked, and the files were found in the bands ofour trowsers through which the string that ties them runs. The Daroghaexamined them carefully. "These are new, Meer Sahib, and English.Inshalla! we will find out who supplied you with them. The fellow whohas done this assuredly has eaten dirt."
"We brought them here with us," said I, doggedly. "Ye were sons ofasses that ye did not search us when we entered your den of tyranny."
"We may be sons of asses," he replied, grinning, "but we are not suchowls as to believe you, O wise and cunning Syud; Thug as you are, weare not going to eat dirt at your hands. Some friend you have had amongmy men; one is suspected; and if these files can help us to tracehim--and it is probable enough--he had better say the Kulma, for hishead and shoulders will not long remain together. But come," said heto his men, "your work is only half done; examine every foot of thesebars; for my worthy friends here, rely upon it, have not half donetheir business."
They obeyed him, and, as you may suppose, soon found the bar which hadbeen cut.
"Enough!" said the Darogha. "You were a fool, O Meer Sahib, for thiswild attempt. Had you been content to bear your deserved imprisonment,mercy might in time have been shown to you; but now, give up all hope;you have forfeited that mercy by your own imprudence, and you will longlive to repent it. Bring them along," said he to his men; "we must putthem into narrower and safer lodgings."
Ya Alla, Sahib, what a place they led us to! A narrow passage, betweentwo high walls, which but just admitted of a man's passing along it,contained, about half-way down, two cells, more like the dens of wildbeasts than aught else. They were more strongly grated than the last wehad been in, and were not half the size. Far heavier irons than thosewe had last worn were fastened on our legs by a blacksmith, and we werethrust into our horrible abodes.
"Now," said the Darogha, "get out if you can, Meer Sahib. If walls andiron bars can hold you, you are pretty safe here, I think."
They left us, and once more we were cast into the abyss of despair;nor was there one ray of hope left to cheer our gloomy and wretchedthoughts. Here am I to live, here am I to die, thought I, as I surveyedthe narrow chamber,--I who have roamed for years over the world, I whohave never known restraint. Alla! Alla! what have I done that thisshould be? O Bhowanee, hast thou so utterly forsaken Ameer Ali? I castmyself down on the rough floor, and groaned in agony. I could not weep,tears were denied me; they would have soothed my overburthened soul. Acup of misery was before me, and I was to drain it to the dregs. Hopehad fled, and despair had seized and benumbed every faculty of my mind.
Months rolled on. Though only a strong grating of iron bars divided mefrom my old companion, we seldom spoke to each other; at most it was aword, a passing remark hazarded by the one, and scarcely heeded by theother, so absorbed were we in our misery. I ate and drank mechanically,I had no craving for food; and what they gave us to eat was of thecoarsest kind. The filth which accumulated in our cells was removedonly once a week, and it bred vermin which sorely tormented us. Oh thatI could die! I cried a thousand times a day. Alas! my prayer was notgranted.
The second year of our captivity passed--the same unvarying rotation ofmisery--no change, no amelioration of our condition. We existed, but nomore; the energies of life were dead within us. I used to think, were Iever released, that I could not bear the rude bustle of the world; thatI should even prefer my captivity to its anxieties and cares. It was afoolish thought, for I often yearned for freedom, and occupied my mindwith vain thoughts and plans for future action, should any lucky chancegive me my liberty; but no ray of hope broke in upon the misery of mydungeon.
I mean not to say that my companion, the old Thug, and I neverconversed; we did so now and then; we recounted our exploits again andagain, and by thus recalling mine to my memory, from the beginningof my career, I stored up in my mind the adventures and vicissitudesI have related to you. One day we had been talking of my father, andhis parting words to me, "I am not your father," flashed across mythoughts. I mentioned the circumstance to the old Thug, and earnestlyrequested him to tell me what he knew of Ismail, and of my early state.
"What!" he asked, "so you know not of it, Meer Sahib? Surely Ismailmust have told you all? And yet," continued he, after a pause, "hewould not have done it--he dared not."
"What can you mean," cried I, "by saying he dared not? Was I his son,or did he say truly when he declared I was not?"
"He spoke the truth, Meer Sahib. I know your origin, and it is justpossible there may be one or two others who do also, and who are stillliving: one of these is Ganesha."
"Ganesha!" I exclaimed; "by Alla! my soul has ever told me that he knewsomething of me. I have striven in vain to bring any scene in which hewas concerned with me to my recollection, and always failed. By yoursoul! tell me who and what I was."
"'Tis a long tale, Ameer Ali," said the old man, "but I will endeavourto remember all I can of it; it is one too which, were you not what youare, would horrify you."
"My parents were murdered then?" said I, my heart sinking withinme. "I have sometimes thought so, but my conjectures were vague andunsatisfactory."
"You have guessed truly, Meer Sahib. But listen, my memory is stillfresh, and you shall know all.
"Ismail, your father, as he called himself to you, became a Thug underHoosein Jemadar, whom no doubt you remember. I well recollect theday he joined us, at a village not very far from Delhi; I was then ayouth, and belonged to the band of which Hoosein was one of the bestBhuttotes."
"I know Ismail's history," said I; "he related it to me."
"T
hen I need not repeat it," he continued. "In time Ismail, by hisbravery and wisdom, rose far above Hoosein, and became the Jemadar of aband of thirty Thugs. It is of this time I would speak. We were one dayat a village called Eklera, in Malwa, encamped outside the place, in agrove of trees near a well. We had been unlucky for some time before,as it was the season of the rains, when but few travellers are abroad,and we were eagerly looking for bunij.
"Ismail and Ganesha had been into the bazar, and returned with thejoyful news that a party was about to set off towards Indoor, andthat we were to precede them by a march, and halt whenever we thoughtthem secure to us. I and another Thug were directed to watch theirmovements, while the main body went on. The information was correct,and we dogged them till the third or fourth march, when, at a villagewhose name I forget, we found the band halted, and rejoined it. Theparty consisted of a respectable man, and his wife and child, an oldwoman, and some young men of the village who accompanied them. The manrode a good horse, and his wife travelled in a palankeen. They wereyour parents, Meer Sahib."
"Go on," said I in a hoarse voice; "my memory seems to follow yournarration." O Sahib! I was fearfully interested and excited.
"Well," continued he, "not long after they had arrived, Ismail andGanesha went into the bazar, dressed in their best clothes, to scrapean acquaintance with your father, and, as Ismail told us afterwards,this was effected through you; he saw you playing in the streets, gaveyou some sweetmeats, and afterwards rescued you from the violenceof some of the village boys who would have robbed you of them. Thisled to his speaking with your mother, and eventually to his becomingacquainted with your father. The end of all was, that they agreedto accompany us, and dismissed the young men by whom they had beenpreviously attended. Does your memory aid you now, Meer Sahib, or shallI finish the relation?"
"It does," said I, "most vividly as you proceed. But go on; withoutyour assistance, I lose the thread of my sad history." He resumed.
"Ismail in those days always rode a good horse, as also did Ganesha.He grew fond of you, and you of him, and he used to take you up beforehim and carry you most part of the march, or till you became fatigued.This went on for some days, but we were approaching Indoor, and it wasnecessary to bring the matter to a close; besides our cupidity wasstrongly excited by the accounts we heard from Ismail of your father'swealth, as he had told him that he carried a large sum of ready moneywith him. At last the bhil was determined. I could show it you now; itwas close to a river, and, before the party had crossed, the jhirneewas given. We strangled them all. Ganesha killed your mother, the oldwoman was allotted to me; Ismail had his share also, and I believeit was your father. You had been riding upon Ismail's horse all themorning--at least after the rain had ceased--and when the jhirnee wasgiven you were half across the river; I saw you fall, and as you didnot move afterwards, I thought you were killed. You moved however, andGanesha ran towards you; he threw the roomal about your neck, and wasin the act of strangling you, when Ismail, who had uttered a cry ofdespair on seeing Ganesha's action, arrived just in time to prevent hisdeadly purpose. They had a serious quarrel about you, and even drewtheir swords; but Ismail prevailed, and led you to where the bodieswere lying and being stripped by the Lughaees. You became frantic whenyou saw your mother; you clung to her body and could hardly be tornfrom it; you raved and cursed us all, but terror overcame you at last,and perhaps pain also, for you fainted. Ismail, when the bodies hadbeen disposed of, and the plunder collected, mounted his horse and tookyou up before him; and turning off the road, we travelled in anotherdirection.
"How you ever bore that journey I know not; you were a thin anddelicate child, and we all said you would die; but you bore it well,and when we reached a place in the jungle, I was sent to a village formilk, and you drank some. Here again Ismail and Ganesha had a secondquarrel about you; Ganesha said you were too old to adopt, that youwould remember all that had happened, and that he would strangle you;and the abuse that you poured upon him made him still more savage.Again they drew their swords, and would have fought about you, but weprevented them.
"You were taken away by me to a distance; I rubbed your swollen neck,and Ismail gave you a strong dose of opium, which put you to sleep, andwe again resumed our flight.
"Ganesha and he were never cordial friends after that day; they neveracted in concert again until, as I heard, in your last expedition; andthough they preserved an outward show of civility to each other, theirhate was as strong as ever.
"Ismail took you to his home. He was married, but had no children; andas you grew up and improved under his kind and fatherly treatment, hebecame proud of you, and used often to say to us that he regretted yourfather had left your sister behind when he undertook his fatal journeyto Indoor."
"My sister!" cried I, in an agony of apprehension.
"Yes, Meer Sahib, your sister. I, for one, heard your father say thathe left her behind, as she was too young to be moved. You might getnews of her at Eklera, if you ever get out of this cursed hole."
But he now spoke to one bereft of sense--of any feeling save that ofchoking, withering, blighting agony. Why did not my heartstrings crackin that moment? Why did I live to drag a load of remorse with me tomy grave? Yet it has even been so. I live, and I have borne my miseryas best I could; to most I appear calm and cheerful, but the woundrankles in my heart; and could you but know my sufferings, Sahib, youwould, perhaps, pity me. Not in the daytime is my mind disturbed bythe thoughts of the past; it is at night, when all is still around me,and sleep falls not upon my weary eyelids, that I see again before methe form of my unfortunate sister; again I fancy my hands busy withher beautiful neck, and the vile piece of coin for which I killedher seems again in my grasp as I tore it from her warm bosom. Sahib,there is no respite from these hideous thoughts; if I eat opium--whichI do in large quantities, to produce a temporary oblivion--I beholdthe same scene in the dreams which it causes, and it is distorted andexaggerated by the effects of the drug. Nay, this is worse to bear thanthe simple reality, to which I sometimes become accustomed, until onevision more vivid that its predecessors again plunges me into despairof its ever quitting me.
Sahib, after that fatal relation, I know not what I did for many days.I believe I raved, and they thought me mad, but my mind was strong andnot to be overthrown. I recovered, though slowly, and again and again Iretraced in my memory the whole of my life till that miserable day onwhich I murdered my sister! It could have been no other.
I tried in vain to cheat myself into the belief that it was another,but no effort that I made could shake the conviction that it was she.My unaccountable recollection of Eklera--the relation of my father'sdeath by the old man there--his almost recognition of me--and, morethan all, the old and worthless coin for which I destroyed her, andwhich I now remembered perfectly--all were undeniable proofs of mycrime; and conviction, though I tried to shut it out, entered into mysoul, and abode there. Alla help me, I was a wretched being! My hairturned gray, my form and strength wasted, and any one who had seen mebefore I listened to the old Thug's tale would not have recognizedme two months afterwards. A kind of burning fever possessed me; myblood felt hot as it coursed through my veins; and the night, oh howI dreaded it! I never slept, except by day, when exhausted nature atlength claimed some respite. Night after night, for months and months,I either rolled to and fro on my miserable pallet, or sat up and rockedmyself, groaning the while in remorse and anguish. No other act of mylife rose up in judgment against me--none but that one; I tried evento think on others, but they passed from my mind as quickly as theyentered it, and my sister was ever before me.
You know the worst, Sahib--think of me as you will, I deserve it.I cannot justify the deed to myself, much less to you; and theonly consolation I have--that it was the work of fate, of unerringdestiny--is but a weak one, that gives way before the conviction of myown guilt. I must bear my curse, I must wither under it. I pray fordeath, and as often, too, pray that I may live, and that my measure ofpunishment may be allotted to me her
e, that my soul may not burn inJehanum. I may now as well bring my history to a close, to the timewhen, by accepting your boon of life, I became dead to the world.
My old companion died in the fourth year of our captivity. I wouldfain have had him deny the tale he told me of my father's destruction,but he would not; he was dying when I urged him to do so, and againdeclared in the most solemn manner that what he had related was truein every particular; and again he referred me to Ganesha, my mother'smurderer, for confirmation of the whole.
He died, and I was left to solitude, to utter solitude, which wasonly broken by the daily visit of my jailor, who brought me food, andattended me during a short walk up and down the passage. This favouralone had I extorted after those years of misery, and it was gratefulto me to stretch my cramped limbs, and again to feel the pure air ofheaven breathe over my wasted features.
The seventh year had half passed; the Darogha of the jail was dead, orhad been removed; another supplied his place, and some amelioration ofmy condition ensued. I was removed from the lonely cell into one nearwhere I had been first confined; it was more spacious and airy, andpeople passed to and fro before it. I used to watch their motions withinterest and this in some degree diverted my mind from brooding overthe past.
In the twelfth year of my imprisonment the old king died, and hissuccessor, the late monarch, ascended the musnud. Many a heart beatquickly and with renewed hope--hope, that had almost died within thehearts of those wretches who were immured within the walls--and ofmine among the rest. We had heard that it was customary to release allwho had been sentenced to perpetual imprisonment; and you can hardlyimagine, Sahib, the intense anxiety with which I looked for the timewhen the mandate should be issued for our release, or when I should nolonger dare to hope.
It came at last; after some days of weary expectation, the orderreached the Darogha, and it was quickly conveyed to me. I was broughtforth, the chains were knocked off my legs, and I was free. Five rupeeswere given to me, and a suit of coarse clothes in place of those whichhung in rags about my person. After more than twelve weary years Iissued from those prison walls, and was again thrown upon the world toseek my fortune.
"Beware, Meer Sahib," said the Darogha, as he presented me with themoney, "beware of following your old profession; you are old, yourblood no longer flows as it used, and what you have been you shouldforget. Go! follow some peaceful calling, and fortune may yet smileupon you."
I thanked him and departed. I roamed through the city till nightfall,and after satisfying my hunger at the shop of a bhutteara I begged fromhim shelter for the night. It was readily granted; and I lay down andenjoyed the first quiet and refreshing sleep I had known for years. Iarose with the dawn and went forth,--whither I cared not,--all placesin the wide world seemed alike to me. I knew no one, I could find noone who knew me in that large city, and I felt the desolation of mycondition press heavily upon me. What to do, or whither to go, I knewnot; but a faint hope that I might discover some of my old associatesif I could reach Bundelkhund impelled me to travel thither. A change inmy dress was soon effected. From a Kalundur Fakeer I purchased a highfelt hat and a chequered garment for a small sum: and thus equipped,with a staff in my hand, I left the city by the north gate, andtravelled onwards.
It was as I thought; I was never without a meal, though it might be ofthe coarsest food; and when I reached Jhalone, my little stock of moneywas nearly as large as when I had left Lukhnow. I went direct to thehouse of the Moola, for my thoughts were ever with my daughter, andmy soul yearned to know her fate. Alas! I was disappointed. His housewas inhabited by another, whom I knew not, and all he could tell mewas that the old man had gone to Delhi he believed some years before,and that he had not heard any tidings of him since. I asked afterhis daughters, but the man knew nothing of them, except that one hehad adopted had been married in Jhalone to a person who resided in avillage of the country, but of his name or direction he was ignorant.
I turned away from the door,--I dared not pass my own, and I withdrewto an obscure part of the town where there was a small garden in whicha Fakeer usually resided. Him I had known of old, he had eaten ofmy bread and received my alms, and now I was his equal. He will notrecognize me, thought I, in this dress, and changed as I am no oneknows me; I will seek him however, and if he is as he used to be I maylearn some news of my old friends.
I found the Fakeer I sought; old I had left him, he was now aged andinfirm; his garden, which he had always kept with scrupulous neatness,was overgrown with weeds and neglected, and he had barely strengthremaining to crawl about the town for the small supply of flour orgrain which sufficed for his daily wants. I was much shocked to see himthus, and representing myself to be a wandering Kalundur desirous ofremaining in Jhalone, I begged to be allowed to reside and share withhim whatever I got. My offer was readily accepted, and there I took upmy abode, in the hope that some wandering party of Thugs might passJhalone, to whom I could disclose myself.
Gradually I discovered myself to the old man. I led him to speak of oldtimes and of persons by allusion to whom he must know I was a Thug. Hedid not hesitate to speak of them, and in particular of myself, whosefate he mourned with such true grief, that I could control myself nolonger; and to his wondering ear I related the whole of my adventures,from the time I had been released by the Rajah to the period of mytaking up my abode with him. And much had I to hear from him inreturn--much that distressed and grieved me. Many of my old companionswere dead, others had been seized and executed, and hardly one of theold leaders of Bundelkhund were in the country or in the exercise oftheir vocation; new leaders had sprung up, and he spoke in warm termsof a young man named Feringhea, who when I had last seen him was a mereboy.
Four months passed thus. To support the old Fakeer as well as myself,I was obliged to perambulate the town daily: and I asked and receivedalms, given in the meanest portions, in the place where my hand hadever been open to the poor. A sad change in my fortune, Sahib! Yet Ibore up against it with resignation, if not with fortitude, hoping forbetter days and new adventures.
New adventures, Ameer Ali! I exclaimed. Had not the punishments you hadreceived turned your heart from Thuggee?
No Sahib! cried the Thug with fervour; why should they? Had not myheart become hardened by oppression and misery? They had aroused withinme a spirit of revenge against the whole human race. I burned to throwoff my wretched disguise, and again take to the road--it mattered notwhether as a leader or a subordinate, so that I could once more be aThug. Nor was I old; true, my beard had become grizzled and gray, andcare had seamed my countenance with many wrinkles; but I was stillstrong and powerful, and my hands had not forgotten their cunning. Fourmonths I have said had elapsed, and as no Thugs came near Jhalone, Iset off with a few rupees I had saved from the produce of my daily almsfor Tearee, where I hoped to meet the Brahmin astrologer who had somaterially aided me in the affair of the pearl merchant. His share ofthat booty had been duly remitted to him immediately on my arrival atJhalone; and though I had never heard from him afterwards, yet I feltassured that the letter could not have miscarried.
I reached Tearee after many days. I knew that bands of Thugs wereabroad, for I saw their fire-places and marks at many villages andupon the roads; but I met with none, to my disappointment, and on myarrival I hastened at once to the temple, where I found the Brahmin;and, notwithstanding my misfortunes, I was kindly, nay warmly welcomed.The Brahmin still kept up his connection with Thugs, and I learnedfrom him, to my joy, that a band, under a Jemadar named Ramdeen, abouttwenty in number, had passed through the town only the day before, andwere on their road towards the Nerbudda.
"You can easily overtake them, Meer Sahib," he said; "and if yourold fame as a leader fails in procuring you a welcome reception, afew lines from me may aid you." And he wrote a note to the Jemadar,informing him who I was, and how I had been connected with him ofold. I did not long delay after I had received it, and again set offin search of my future companions. I came up with them on the secondday, a
nd warm indeed was the welcome I received; one and all wereamazed to see me, whom they had long thought dead. I was clothed indecent raiment by them, admitted as one of their band, and treated asa brother. Truly their kindness was refreshing to my almost witheredheart. Ramdeen insisted that I should take an equal rank with him inthe band; and after the necessary ceremonies I resumed my roomal, andin a few days again ate the Goor of the Tupounee.
Sahib, you must by this time be weary of my adventures with travellers,and I met with none during my connection with Ramdeen's party worthy ofrelation. We avoided the Company's territories and kept to those ofSindia; penetrating as far as Boorhanpoor, and on our return visitingthe shrine of Oonkar Manduttee, on the Nerbudda. From this latter placewe were fortunate in enticing a party of pilgrims, and a large bootyfell into our hands at the bottom of the Jam Ghat, whither we escortedthem on their return to Oojein. Upwards of four hundred rupees was myshare of this: so again you see me independent, and fortune smilingupon me. But Ramdeen became jealous of me, and of my superior skilland intelligence. We had many quarrels, and at last I left him, anddetermined, with what I had, to travel to the Dukhun, and to seekmy fortune in the Nizam's country, where I knew that Thuggee stillflourished unchecked.
But it was fated not to be so. My road from where I left Ramdeen laythrough Saugor, and there I met with my old acquaintance Ganesha, atthe head of a small band, apparently in wretched plight. I could butill dissemble my feelings of abhorrence at meeting with him; my ownmisfortunes and history, and the tale of my companion in imprisonment,were fresh in my recollection; nevertheless I disguised the dislike Ifelt, though revenge still rankled in my heart, and I would gladly haveseized any opportunity to satisfy it. Among his band was a Thug I hadknown in former days; he was weary of Ganesha, whose temper was notimproved by age, and he advised me to put myself at the head of a fewmen he could point out to me, who would be faithful, and who he thoughtwould prove the nucleus of a large band; for my name was still freshin the memory of the older Thugs, who would gladly flock to me whenthey heard I was determined to set up for myself without connexion withothers. And he was right; in a few months I was at the head of fortymen; and we were fortunate. Taking a new direction, we passed throughthe territories of the Rewah Rajah, returning to our home, which wefixed in a village not far from Hindia, in a wild and unfrequentedtract, where we were secure from treachery and from the operationsagainst the Thugs then being carried on from Saugor.
Two years passed in this manner, and I was content, for I was, as Iwished to be, powerful and actively employed. Two seasons we went outand returned laden with plunder, and the name of Ameer Ali was againknown and feared. Another season and it shall be my last, said I; Ihad discovered some clue to my daughter, and thought (vain idea!)if I could only collect a few thousand rupees, that I could dare toseek her, to live near her, and to abandon Thuggee for ever. Why wasI thus infatuated? what else could it have been but that inexorablefate forbade it? The destiny which had been marked out for me by AllaI was to fulfil, and I blindly strove against it. The vain purposes ofman urge him to pursue some phantom of his imagination, which is neverovertaken, but which leads him on often by smooth paths and buoyed upby hope, till he is suddenly precipitated into destruction.
I had planned an expedition on a larger scale than ever, towardsCalcutta, and we had sworn to Bhowanee to pay our devotions at hershrines of Bindachul and Calcutta; the omens were favourable, and weleft our home in joy and high excitement. And what cared I then, thoughI knew that the English had set a price of five hundred rupees uponme? It was a proof that I was dreaded and feared, and I rejoiced thatAmeer Ali, the oppressed and despised for a time, had again emergedfrom his obscurity, and I braved the danger which threatened me. Iwas a fool for this, yet it was my destiny that impelled me: and ofwhat avail would have been precautions, even had I taken any? I knewthat treachery could not reach me where I was, and I trusted to myapparently lasting new run of good fortune, and to the omens with whichour expedition had begun, to escape apprehension in the districts ofthe Company's territories, where operations against Thugs were beingcarried on with much success.
Saugor lay directly in the route which we proposed taking, and it washere that the greatest danger was to be apprehended. I might haveavoided it perhaps, but I trusted to the celerity and secrecy of mymovements for a few days until we should pass it; and as my band wereunanimous in refusing to change the route after it had been determinedon and sanctioned by favourable omens, I undertook to lead them atall hazards. We travelled by night, therefore, and avoided all largevillages, resting either in waste spots or near miserable hamlets. Nordid we seek for bunij,--the danger was too imminent for any time to belost; and though one or two persons died by our hands, yet this wasrather to enable us to eat the Goor of the Tupounee, and to performsuch ceremonies as were absolutely necessary for the propitiation ofour patroness, and our consequent success.
Confessions of a Thug Page 49
