by Amy Hopkins
Pixels And Poltergeists
Penny and Boots™ Book Three
Amy Hopkins
Michael Anderle
This book is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Sometimes both.
Copyright © 2019 Amy Hopkins & Michael T. Anderle
Cover by Fantasy Book Design
Cover copyright © LMBPN Publishing
This book is a Michael Anderle Production
LMBPN Publishing supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.
The distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
LMBPN Publishing
PMB 196, 2540 South Maryland Pkwy
Las Vegas, NV 89109
First US edition, December 2019
eBook ISBN: 978-1-64202-628-3
Print ISBN: 978-1-64202-629-0
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Author Notes - Amy Hopkins
Author Notes - Michael Anderle
Books By Michael Anderle
Connect with The Authors
The Pixels And Poltergeists Team
Thanks to the JIT Readers
Rachel Beckford
Jackey Hankard-Brodie
Diane L. Smith
Jeff Eaton
Deb Mader
Misty Roa
Paul Westman
Angel LaVey
Kelly O’Donnell
Debi Sateren
Dave Hicks
Larry Omans
If I’ve missed anyone, please let me know!
Editor
SkyHunter Editing Team
To Peanut Butter. Thank you for being the cutest fluff I’ve ever seen. For the last eight months you’ve been a companion, support pupper, hole-digging-helper and inefficient babysitter. I love you, boy. Sorry for getting your balls cut off.
— Amy
To Family, Friends and
Those Who Love
to Read.
May We All Enjoy Grace
to Live the Life We Are
Called.
— Michael
Chapter One
Penny lifted the scarf around her neck so that it covered her nose. It didn’t work. The cloying aroma of cinnamon drowned her senses.
She glanced to one side, where Amelia clutched a handkerchief to her face, her eyes red and watering.
Penny shook her head. Amelia jerked her shoulders in a desperate shrug. Penny waved her hands and mouthed, “No!”
Tears streamed from Amelia’s eyes. A frantic look was growing on the girl’s face.
Seeing what was to come, Penny cowered.
Amelia sneezed, and a screech filled the air as the ragged bird at the top of the mountain of twigs, sticks, incense, and various spices raised its angry head. Black, beady eyes stared at the cluster of bushes that hid Penny and Amelia.
“Now you’ve gone and done it.” Cisco’s voice was hushed, but clearly audible through the tiny earbud Penny wore.
“I couldn’t help it,” Amelia hissed. It was a mistake. The quick intake of breath that fed her words set off a loud coughing spasm. “Oh, no.”
“Duck!” Before the word was out of Penny’s mouth, she rolled to one side. A wisp of hair tickled her face as the angry bird dove between them.
It squawked again, then hacked a limp cough of its own. The bird spat and shook its wings, dislodging a few worn feathers. Not many remained—the bird looked scrawny and decrepit. With a haughty glare, it waddled back to its funeral pyre.
“Have you untangled that net yet?” Penny grumbled into her microphone. “If we don’t catch that damned phoenix before it ignites, this whole forest is going to go up in flames.”
“I’m trying, I’m trying.” The urgency in Cisco’s voice rang true. “The bird really made a mess of it, though.”
“I told you, you were holding it wrong,” Red chimed in. “You need to hold your hand the other way around.”
“Yeah?” Cisco sounded heated now. “I didn’t see your hairy ass running to help me when the claws of doom were trying to gouge out my eyeballs.”
Penny groaned. "It's a geriatric featherball, Cisco. Can you just catch it already? I've got dirt in my eyes, incense up my nose, and leaves in my crack. This was supposed to be an easy assignment, not a trip to Hell and back."
"I thought you were on my side!" In his frustration, Cisco forgot he was supposed to be staying quiet. Penny could hear the echo of his voice from the other side of the pile of debris.
The phoenix perked its head up from the cluster of twigs it was rearranging at the top of the bird-made mountain. It spread its wings and a few more feathers were plucked out by the errant breeze, leaving ominous gaps in the once strong wings. The bird took a step, then another. It gave a tiny hop, probably intending to launch itself into the air.
Instead, it tripped.
With a rustling landslide of nesting material, the phoenix rolled to the bottom of the pile. It lifted a dazed head, hiccupped, and burst into flames.
"Shit." Penny scrambled backward as a rush of heat fanned her face. She took a deep breath, trying not to choke on the fine clouds of scented ash as she yelled for backup. "Boots! You're up! Code—uh—Twelve? Seventeen?"
"Fuck the code, just bring the rain, Princess." Amelia turned a frantic grin Penny's way. She lifted both hands in a “what are you gonna do” gesture.
"What she said.” Penny edged back from the roaring fire as dry leaves began to ignite around them, floating into the air and drifting into the surrounding forest. “Come on, Boots. We don’t have all day!"
Her plea was answered with a deep gurgling sound. She glanced over her shoulder and bit down on an instinctive urge to scream.
The fat snake that meandered toward them looked nothing like her longtime friend. Far from the slender, rainbow rope who spent most of her time lazily coiled in one of Penny's knapsacks, this monstrosity dragged itself between the trees like a legless buffalo.
"Better get out of the way, Penny!" Amelia grabbed Penny's arm and guided her away from the pudgy, dazed serpent. "You haven’t seen what happens when she opens her mouth. I have!"
Penny couldn't resist watching over her shoulder as she let Amelia drag her back. The snake's fat body had swollen enough that Penny almost couldn't see over her back. Despite Boots’ monstrous size, it wasn't until she let the water out that Penny realized just how much she had ingested.
To say that the water rushed from the serpent's mouth would be an understatement. Exploded, flooded, pummeled, perhaps. Boo
ts did her best to direct the spray at the flaming funeral pyre of the phoenix. Somehow, Penny still got drenched. Clouds of steam plumed into the air, then coalesced into scalding raindrops that fell from the sky.
It took several minutes for the air to clear. Finally, Penny pulled free of Amelia's grasp.
"Spot fire!" Red called. His warning was followed by the hiss of the fire extinguisher.
Penny thought she spotted movement in the muddy ash and sludge ahead. "Cisco, do you still have the net?"—
She picked her way through carefully. Had it been her imagination? No—there! Penny pounced, trusting her instincts. She landed belly first in the sludge, but her groping hands quickly found what they were looking for. When she stood again, covered in a thick coating of wet ash, she held a tiny mass of wriggling, naked flesh in her hands. “Gotcha!”
She looked up at the sound of squelching footsteps to see Cisco and Red approaching.
“Aw, look at the wee beastie,” Red cooed. He held out a foil blanket. “Here you go. Wrap him up before he gets cold. Or sets something else on fire.”
“I don’t think he can, can he?” Amelia joined them, a large gilded cage in her arms. She set it down and unlatched the door. “I’m pretty sure he can only ignite when he’s almost dead.”
“Almost dead?” Cisco argued. “That bird looked like it had passed on in a retirement village, then stuck around as a moldering taxidermy project for another decade after.” He helped Penny settle the bird in the cage, then locked it and eyed Penny. “When Red said he’d planned a dirty weekend, I assumed he was talking about Amelia.”
Cisco yelped as the two women punched him, but managed a limp high five with Red afterward.
“I do need a shower,” Penny admitted. She glared at the bird. “You know, this all could have gone down a lot easier if you had just cooperated.”
Chirp.
“Where did Boots go?” Cisco looked around, a hint of worry lacing his voice.
“She’s probably sleeping it off,” Penny said.
She had thoroughly researched Boots’ water abilities before the mission, helped by the information her friends had gleaned from the serpent's appearance when Penny had fought the Kraken. Her task was made even easier by several new reports of Rainbow Serpent sightings back in Australia. In fact, one had taken up a mascot position at a local fire station.
The serpent—named Monty by the local brigade—had helped put out a couple of bush fires and even saved a young child from a burning house. The reports lodged by the regional investigators had all confirmed that after a “major water event,” the serpent in question would disappear for a day or two, returning no worse for wear to resume its duties as a volunteer fire-fighter.
Seeing Penny’s confidence brought a grin to Cisco’s face. “I guess we’re done, then. We’ll drop off this little squawker and then head to Paddy’s?”
“Not until I’ve cleaned up,” Penny remarked dryly. “Unless you want me to dump a bucket of slurry in your pants so you can see how it feels?”
“You can get in my pants any—“ Cisco’s quip was cut short by a sharp slap on the back of his head.
“Don’t get too far ahead of yourself,” Penny warned him. “We had one date. Well, three-quarters of a date. And even if it wasn’t interrupted by a crazy emergency, doesn’t mean anything was going to happen after.”
“You didn’t tell me anything about that,” Amelia broke in. “When you got in so late last night, I just assumed you and Cisco had been getting frisky in his room.”
“If that was the case, love, I’d have come to visit you.” Red leaned past Penny’s scarlet face and winked at his girlfriend.
Cisco shuddered. “It was awful. Not the date!” he explained hastily. “The Myther.”
Amelia spread her hands, waiting expectantly.
Penny sighed. “Remember that old urban legend about a woman who had hippy dreadlocks for so long, a spider laid eggs in it?”
“Yeah, sure,” Amelia replied. Then, her eyes grew large. “Nooo.”
“Yup.” Penny’s stomach roiled just thinking about it. “They were climbing down her face, and chunks of hair and scalp were falling away.”
“No way!” Amelia squealed, waving away any attempt Penny might make to continue. “Don’t tell me anymore. That poor woman!”
“Not a woman,” Cisco corrected. “One of the agents stationed at the hospital sent me a text this morning. They tested the body, she had no DNA.”
“She DIED?” Amelia gasped. “I don’t care if she was real-real or a construct, that’s awful!”
Penny nodded. Though the concept of Mythers and the study they did made them seem like ephemeral beings, her relationship with many of them—Boots, Paddy, Bacchus—had her questioning that. Paddy could feel pain, so could Boots. That woman, ‘real’ or not, had suffered.
Penny shook off her melancholy. Right now, they had a job to do. “Come on. Let’s get this little firebug out of here.” She grabbed the cage and headed back for the van, dragging it awkwardly beside her.
A moment later, the other side of the cage lifted. Cisco smiled at Penny. “Need a lift?”
“Thanks.” Penny gave him a warm grin. “You know, dinner was really nice. We should do it again.”
Cisco glanced away but couldn’t hide his widening grin. “Really?”
“Really.”
Chapter Two
“It’s quiet in here tonight,” Cisco commented as they walked through the door of Paddy’s Irish Bar.
Penny nodded. She’d picked up a few extra shifts over the break between semesters and had gotten used to the ebb and flow of customers throughout the week. “Tuesdays are the easy nights. The Mythers like to catch up on Mondays, the Protectorate—that’s the angel and godmother alliance I was telling you about—hold meetings here on Wednesdays, and the regular crowd comes in from Thursday to Sunday. Tuesday is the only night I don’t have to break up some kind of barney.” She paused, remembering one evening a few weeks ago when two humans had started a fight over a girl. “Well, most Tuesdays.”
Amelia cocked an eyebrow. “Barney?”
“It’s a fight, love.” Red winked at Penny. “I really do need to teach you proper English.”
“Hey, Paddy!” Penny raised a hand to wave at the leprechaun, who hurried over.
“Penny! Did ye get your schedule yet?” He thrust a half-empty drink in her hand. “Here’s a whiskey. Quick, down the hatch. Ye really need to go get that schedule for me, Paddy is on me arse about it.” He waggled his hands, shooing her away. “Go on, off with ye. I don’t want ta see ye back until ye have it.”
Frowning, Penny dug around in her purse. “I’ve got a copy right here.” She held out a slip of paper. “I emailed it to Josh yesterday. Didn’t he get it?”
“Oh. Uh…” Paddy glanced around frantically. “He must have forgotten to tell me. But really, all of ye should be goin’ just the same.”
“Why?” Penny set the glass on a nearby table and folded her arms. “Paddy, what’s going on?”
“Can’t a leprechaun have a drink in peace?” Paddy folded his arms defiantly. “One night of quiet, that’s all I be wantin’.”
Red laid his accent on thick, his face the very picture of disapproval. “Now, Paddy, I can’t believe ye’d kick out a fellow countryman.”
Paddy looked over his shoulder, then back at Penny. “It’s…um, school. That’s it. Yer in school, all of ye, and it’s yer first week back and—”
“PADDYYYYYY!” The howl was muffled but still held a painful note that set Penny’s teeth on edge.
Red clutched his ears. “What in the hells?”
“Paddy! You can’t run from me!” A small, elderly woman hobbled out of the back room and glowered at the leprechaun. “How could you? I trusted you!” She threw a tiny object at the subject of her ire. It bounced off his hat and pinged on the floor.
Penny stooped down carefully to pick it up, unwilling to take her eyes off the woman. “It�
��s a ring.” She held it up to the light. “It’s…plastic? Costume jewelry.”
At that, the woman burst into mournful tears, her pitch rising as she began to keen.
“Paddy?” Cisco cleared his throat and spoke louder to be heard over the ruckus. “Paddy, what did you do?”
Paddy stared at the floor glumly, hands behind his back. He mumbled something inaudible.
“Excuse me, miss?” Red approached the tiny, howling woman. She stopped mid-cry and glared up at him with wet eyes. “Do you need some help?”
“Help? Yes.” Her lips curled back in an ugly grimace, but she lowered her voice to an angry hiss. “You can bring your fur and teeth out to disembowel this trickster beast, savage his throat, then bury what’s left of him twenty feet under the soil.”
“Uh… Anything else?” Red stepped back, unnerved.
The woman straightened. “I’ll pay you well. Really, name your price.” She reached up to pat her grey hair back into place, then tugged the front of her dress to smooth it.
Red coughed, turning to mouth at Penny with pleading eyes. “Help.”
Penny sighed. “Listen, lady, we’re not going to hurt Paddy. Well, not that badly, anyway.” She shot the leprechaun in question a warning glance, willing him to keep his mouth shut. “How about you tell us what’s wrong, and we’ll see if we can’t make it better without killing anyone.”
