by Ellie Jean
Casting an eye to his black Rolex watch, my mind drifts thinking how much it must cost. “We’ll fit it in.” Swiveling his face to look at me, his smile captivates me. “We will stop there now.”
“O-Okay.” Dazzled by Ocean’s charm and grateful for his change of mind, I drift off into dreamland, looking at the view whizzing past.
The car pulls to a stop.
“What?” Jerking myself upright in the seat, I can’t believe it’s probably been close to thirty minutes I spaced out.
“We’re at your apartment.”
I shake my head. “How d-did you know this is my place?”
Shrugging his shoulders and with a mischievous grin, he opens his door and steps out.
The quicker I learn all about this man and how he operates, the better.
My apartment building is old and run-down, a dirty gray color but my apartment is all mine. Halfway through the loan, I work my butt off to keep the repayments up and the business afloat. At times it’s a struggle but nothing like my childhood.
Leaning against his car, his hair blows in the breeze while he waits for me to get myself together. Strapping the bag across my chest, I start to walk toward him.
“That’s mine.” Pointing in the direction of the only door that has plants on either side of it, my smile can’t be contained. Plants and flowers are my special place.
A cell rings in the distance.
Reaching the door, I glance at Ocean who is juggling his phone out of the car.
“I’ll only be a minute.” Twisting the key I think how lucky I am to have taken my bag with me when I made the last delivery on the fateful day. I’d be lost without my keys and my cell. Which reminds me, I need to get my charger.
Sunshine coats the walls and bounces off the leafy green plants adorning the lounge area. Grabbing the watering can, I quickly give them some love before Ocean comes in. They’re going to need moist soil while I’m not here or I’ll be returning to dead plants which would break my heart. These bulbs and ferns are like my babies.
With a spring in my step, I finish the flowers in the bathroom. Finally the tulips flowered, a captivating fuchsia, bold and standing proudly. Touching its petal, the velvet softness is magical. My smile widens. Heading to my room, I fix the end of the watering can back into place.
“I knew if I waited long enough, you’d turn up.”
Snapping my head up, his rough, scratchy voice is unmistakable. Shockwaves ripple through my body, rendering me numb. My breath catches.
Lying stretched out on my bed is Colton. Covered in black clothing, his hair is wet, and it appears he’s made himself at home, relaxing on my stack of pillows. Statue-like, my feet are heavy as though concrete has been poured over them preventing me from running. Internally I’m screaming the house down, yet nothing leaves my mouth.
“I like your place. It’s better than the jail cell I’ve been living in and out of the past ten years.” He moves his hand behind his head. “I’m offended you didn’t give me a call when you got back in town.”
My eyes bulge, refusing to blink.
“I’ve b-been b-busy.” Light-headedness takes hold and I can feel my body starting to sway. I need to snap out of it before I’m lying on the ground for him to do anything with.
“Haven’t we all. Actually, I believe you saw me occupying my time the other night in the hospital room. Pity.” Placing his legs on the floor, his black, lethal eyes never leave me.
My brains telling me to run but my body goes into full-body tremors, my skin’s clammy and my throat is dry. “A-are you going to s-shoot me?”
An evil leer widens, and my insides collapse. Seeing that look for years, I know what’s about to happen. My feet start to inch back ever so slowly.
“No, dear sister. I don’t need to shoot you, but I am going to finish what we started a long time ago. I’m not drunk or high on drugs today. By the time I’m finished with you, you will be praying for me to put a bullet in your brain.”
“C-Colton, you d-don’t have to d-do this.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You left us. Like our mother, you deserted Dad and me. We tried to find you but somehow you made it impossible.” Stepping one foot in front of the other, he walks casually toward me. So much hate radiating through his eyes, directed at me. There’s no point running, trying to stay true to myself, I show one last stance of strength. I know this is my fate. My throat constricts, my lungs burn from lack of oxygen before he has even put one finger on me.
“I’ve never stopped looking for you.” Wrapping his powerful arm around my back, the other one pushes back on my forehead lining our eyes up.
An ear-piercing scream tears from deep within before his hand clasps over it.
“This time it’s only you and me.” My teeth press into my gums and the taste of metallic seeps to my taste buds. Small amounts of air filter through my nose while I stand still, not putting in any fight at all. I know from previous encounters with my brother, Colton loves the struggle, he thrives for it. I won’t play into his hands.
“Take your hands off her.” Haunting and commanding, Ocean’s voice booms and my blood starts to flow again.
Closing my eyelids, I draw in some oxygen. Opening my lashes and releasing my breath at the same time, I plead silently with Ocean to be careful. This isn’t his fight.
The manic glare in Ocean’s eyes rivals Colton’s.
A wild beast has been unleashed, his teeth bared and his hands ready to shred him apart.
“This is family business. Not yours.” His grip tightens on my body and mouth.
Swinging his head between myself and my brother, a look of confusion clouds Ocean’s facial features, his jaw tics and neck muscles pulse rapidly under his flesh. Within a second, his body is rigid, and Ocean’s assessed the situation.
“You scum bag fucker. I should have killed you and your pathetic father that day.”
Colton moves us back a little, making my ankle twist again, shooting a stabbing pain up the back of my calf muscle. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I know who you are.” Advancing forward with a psychotic look in his eyes, my brother moves us back. My focus stays on Ocean comprehending what he just said.
Ocean is my teenage savior, my first crush and lifeline.
How did I doubt myself? I knew there was a bond. Deep down, I knew the familiarity was more than a coincidence.
It’s now clear to him as well.
“Don’t come any closer, I’ll snap her neck in an instant.” He needs me out of the picture, it would be the easy choice.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I know you need cash, a lot of it to get you out of a mess you have with some acquaintances of mine. If you let Phoebe go peacefully, you will have your life back by tonight.”
A jolt of surprise stabs me in my chest. With everything surreal happening, how does he remember my real name?
“And why would you do that for me?” Heavy under my vicious brother’s hand, my body shakes uncontrollably. Is it because Ocean knows my true name, he knows who I am and thinks he owes me something?
“’Cause I need the best florist in LA.” There’s no hint of humor, only menace and authority.
This is the right time, twisting my body and trying to flap my arms, I struggle against my brother’s body. I manage to open my mouth and bite hard down on his finger. The hand jerks off and I heave in a giant breath of air as I fall onto the floor on my already sore shoulder.
“You bitch.”
An explosion wracks through my ribs as a boot lands into my body. Air rushes from my mouth and I try to shield the next blow with my arms. But the next blow doesn’t come, instead grunts and banging echo through the room.
“That will be the last time you touch your sister. I will make sure of it.” Curling into a ball, pain radiates harder again from my shoulder and water leaks from my eyes but the sound of fists slamming into a body is clear. It’s a sound I will never forget.
Li
quid hits my bare arms and I open my eyes a crack. There’s blood flying everywhere. Both guys groan and yell. Bangs echo from bodies hitting furniture and the walls, sending shudders through me. I tighten my hold on my knees.
A crash rings out and heavy footfalls thud away from where I’m frozen.
Silence falls but my blood still throbs in my ears.
Lifting my head, I fear what I’m going to see.
A sliver of ice runs up my spine wondering if Ocean is dead, killed by my brother.
Laying on the ground surrounded by glass from my full-length mirror is Ocean, and Colton’s nowhere to be seen.
“Ocean? Can you hear me?” My voice is small.
I get to my knees and crawl over to where the glass starts. His legs and arms start to move. “Don’t move, there’s glass everywhere.” Ocean sounds groggy.
Raising his torso and head, he scans the room until his eyes meet mine. “Why didn’t you tell me your name was Phoebe when I asked?” He’s talking and that’s the first thing he asks me?
He remembers my name, after thirteen years he still knows it.
“I changed it to B-Bluebell so no one could trace my whereabouts.”
“You mean, so your brother and father couldn’t find you?” Getting up to his feet, the glass crunches under his steps. He seems as unaffected now.
“Yes. B-but I needed a fresh start. I wanted to be free from Phoebe’s past. There wasn’t anything worth remembering about my life b-before I left.” Sitting on my ass, I raise my chin to look up at the most handsome face. One I obsessed over for years. The boy who I waited for every day, just so I could feel a tiny piece of goodness inside me. The teenager who was older and more experienced yet took the time to joke and talk to only me when we had a minute on my walks back to the family house. A shadow I couldn’t get rid of some days and secretly I wished he stayed around at night to take on my family again so I wouldn’t end up battered and bruised. But he was only a kid like me. But he left me. Without a word.
I never blamed him for walking away. I was no one to him but at the same time a huge problem that could blow back on him. I understood why he left, devastated but relieved he didn’t have the threat of my father and brother anymore. He was worth the beatings and humiliation.
Blinking my eyes, I fix my gaze on his.
How clearly I see it now.
Blackened hair, dark brown penetrating eyes that analyze everything. An aura of confidence and protectiveness surrounding him. The jokester with a cool demeanor but deadly actions. His stubble and calm, deep voice have changed, Ocean’s broader, taller and well-built with a powerful body and not the slender teenager anymore. How didn’t I see it earlier? Subconsciously, maybe I did.
“Nothing?” A smirk tugs at his lips.
Reaching for my arms, Ocean helps me from the floor. I wince with the shooting pains slicing through my stomach, an ache runs through my shoulder but nothing can dampen this revelation.
“Hmm? Only one thing makes me smile thinking about my childhood.”
“What might that one thing be?” Arms wrap around me, holding me firmly next to his tight body.
“Fantasizing about and watching a cocky teenage boy any chance I got, even if it meant being ridiculed later. Wishing that he would be my first kiss and secretly hoping each night he would take me away from my abusers.” I drop my head in embarrassment. I was so young and so naive. No teenage boy could do that, but Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty were still fresh in my mind.
Ocean’s finger locks under my chin, lifting it up slowly. “Me?”
Nodding my head, I smile shyly.
“It may be late, but your wishes are going to come true, baby. Starting right now.”
Bending his face down to meet mine, my unhinged brother gone for now, Ocean’s lips meet mine.
Hard.
Pulling me up, holding my waist tight, I don’t stumble back under his force. Commanding and almost aggressive, his tongue enters my mouth, intertwining and competing with mine. There is no soft and gentle or set pace, it’s frantic and loud. Groans escape his lips, moans ring through the air from me. Our teeth clash and my hands grab the back of his head, twisting my fingers through his long hair, keeping him close to me.
Air is not needed. Ocean is my lifeline in this moment. Tingling courses through me, a wildfire radiating from my chest. Warm hands clench at my ass, digging in. It doesn’t hurt. Not much anyway. Unprepared, he steadies me as he continues a frenzied assault on my lips. This blaze has been building for years and today’s the day it’s been set free of all restrictions. Unsure of much, having Ocean’s lips on me is right. And how he is bruising my lips, I’d say he agrees.
Responding in my own chaotic way, unsure if I’m really doing any of this correctly, I thrust my tongue in more and battle his. Biting down on his lip accidentally, blood swirls in my mouth and I rear back.
“Sorry.” Heaving, I suck in a deep breath.
“Never be sorry for showing me all of you, Phoebe.”
My name rolls off his tongue close to my ear and it’s like a shower of glitter has been blown across me, making me shine for the first time. My name’s never sounded so good.
Nodding, I rest my head on his chest thumping against my ear. Exhaustion overcoming me.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” His hand envelops the back of my head.
“Yeah. I’ll grab some clothes.” Really not wanting to let go of Ocean, I step over the glass and the mess in my bedroom and find my overnight bag, stuffing it full with underwear and my clothes stacked in my drawers, taking my brush and cosmetics scattered on my dresser.
With one last glance, shivers run up my spine. This is no longer a safe haven for me. My brother has tarnished it and again killed any happiness I had here. Sighing, I release my shoulders and move.
“I’ve got what I need.” I focus on the male in front of me, not what’s behind me.
“You sure do.”
Taking my hand, we leave my small world behind me.
Phoebe…
A girl I knew a lifetime ago.
Not that we were an item. Days would pass and I would watch her from afar, hoping when I walked into the shop, I would see her delicate features, her lengthy black hair, and small lips. Disappointed if I didn’t see her, but knowing she’d be spying on me at four-thirty every afternoon was enough. It didn’t matter that she was a kid, liking how she didn’t flaunt herself over me. I got enough of that at school and I hated it.
Anger was known to me. Ricocheting through me multiple times, but no greater on the last day I saw Phoebe and her dickhead of a father and brother. Fury built inside and all I wanted to do was smash their faces and bones into smithereens for Phoebe, so they couldn’t touch her again.
But I was taken away.
Deflated and dazed, I walked onto a bus with my sister leaving my mother and father the day after I realized Phoebe meant more than I was willing to see at first. We would be away for four weeks during the summer break.
I changed, hell, Melody and I both changed. Her for the better, she found girls her own age to do girly crap with, instead of worrying about how Mom was going to get through another day without becoming comatose. Days were spent laughing, swimming and living life like a thirteen-year-old should. I, on the other hand, found a crowd of guys who lived life on the edge. Mine already on a slippery downhill slope, drugs and alcohol became a daily diet. Sneaking away from scheduled activities and at night, doing dangerous stunts and risking my life multiple times, the adrenaline surged through and I felt alive.
Returning home or the place where my bed was, I kept going with my new routine.
It’s not as though anyone in the house cared, they all had their own selfish needs. Phoebe was a distant memory. I couldn’t go near her, she was a kid. One I would end up destroying.
Always grateful to my guys for pulling me from the brink of death, numerous times, I sorted my shit out and learned the hard way before I ended up in a casket. I ha
d been close, but with them, became who I am now.
“I should have gone in with you.” Pounding the steering wheel, I try not to scare her.
“We didn’t know he would find my house.” Her hands latch together in her lap, her eyes worried.
“Christ, baby, it’s so easy to find that kind of shit out. Hell, I got the details in less than five minutes.”
“Oh.”
“I can’t believe I let the fucker get away.” Frustrated that he touched Blueb—fuck, Phoebe, I’m at boiling point because he left the house by the front door on his own two legs.
“He hurt you. There was nothing you could do.”
“A little smashed glass won’t keep me down…” With a smirk, I look at her, swallowed by the black leather seat. “So, what should I call you?”
Pondering the question for a minute, there’s an internal battle happening. “I’m Bluebell to everyone now. Phoebe doesn’t exist. So, I’m going to leave that choice up to you.”
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. I’ll think about it, because Phoebe is still very much alive in my mind.
“We’re here.” Driving down to the underground parking lot, I see Slate and Emerald’s mass of cars but most importantly his Shelby Cobra, Tanner’s blue Camaro sits in the other corner opposite from Caden’s green Hellcat revealing that the guys are all here. I park in my spot.
“The guys live here most of the time, in our building because of the security we need, it’s easier if we are all together. The offices we work out of are here, as is The Gem: our legal strip joint. Only known associates can get in there. This place is tighter than any maximum jail facility.” Pride beams from me, but it’s important she understands how safe she is but also how dangerous our work is and how vicious we are.
Staring, I watch her closely. I know she must be sore from the kick and no doubt still struggling with her shoulder and ankle even though she keeps insisting they are both okay, but I see a quiver take over her body. A good or bad one who knows but I want to ease her insecurities.
“I’d waited years to finally kiss you, Phoebe, but I want to kiss you again.” Not asking permission, I lean across the console and she meets me halfway, my lips closing on hers. Slowly. Gently. Carefully. Shooting stars dart around my vision, our breathing increases. My body buzzes and I know I have to go and talk to the guys, but I can’t break away from her sumptuous mouth. Pulled in by her pure smell, witness to how strong she is although it’s unbeknown to her, I taste her, savoring every delicate sensation lit on my tongue, coursing through my entire body.
