“I will not. This is the kind of behavior that makes it spectacularly clear that you’re not fit to be their guardian.” She folded her arms across her chest, tapping her foot as if she were winning some sort of argument.
I advanced on her a bit more aggressively than I should have, but I was still hopping mad, fueled on adrenaline and pain. She took a step back but I kept going, until she was up against the wall.
“Let me explain something to you,” I growled under my breath, looking down into startled yellow-green eyes. “Fighting has a long history in hockey. It’s tradition. It’s part of the sport. It serves a purpose. Usually to let the other team know they can’t get away with something they were trying to get away with. Can you understand that?”
She swallowed, her jaw tightening in annoyance. “I understand all that,” she ground out. “But what you did tonight was different. It was violent. You were an animal. You—”
“I beat the shit out of the guy who said it was too bad Ben hadn’t died earlier in the season.” I glared down at her, my heart racing a mile a minute.
Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an “O” but no sound came out. Then she frowned, sadness in her voice as she whispered, “He actually said that?”
“Yeah. He did.” I still had her pinned against the wall but something had shifted. Her breath was coming in short, staccato little bursts now, her 34D’s rising and falling at the same time. Her eyes blazed with—pain? Anger? It was hard to tell, but when she licked her lips, the moisture glistening on them beckoned to me like a beacon in a storm.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was uneven, her tone apologetic. “I didn’t know—”
“Just this one time, can you shut up, please?” I muttered. “Because I’m going to kiss you. Unless you say no. But the window for you to do that closes in two seconds.”
Her mouth opened and, once again, nothing came out.
“Hadley.” I met her gaze and she gave me a barely perceptible nod but that was all I needed. I crashed my mouth to hers, sliding one arm around her waist and pulling her against me. Her lips parted beautifully, her tongue meeting mine stroke for stroke, and I didn’t let up. I pillaged her mouth like a thief in the night, taking pull after pull until she was grinding against my groin, our bodies pressed together. And hers was made for loving. Slender, with luscious curves, and goddamn, those tits made me insane. I would’ve given my left nut to suck on them.
“Aunt Hadley? I had a bad dream…where are you?” Annalise’s voice from the hallway made us jump apart and Hadley hurriedly smoothed down her top as she took a shaky breath, her eyes not meeting mine.
“I’m coming, baby.” Gaze still averted, she hurried out of the room without looking back.
I watched her retreating figure with a mixture of frustration and regret. I would have done anything to follow her, kiss her some more, but I knew better. One kiss probably didn’t change how she felt about me and I wasn’t the kind of guy to take advantage of a woman who was feeling vulnerable. The trouble was, I was vulnerable too.
“Lauren and I want you to be the baby’s godfather,” Ben said, a smile lighting his face as he eyed me. “You down?”
“For you and Lauren? Anything.” I paused. “Wait, let me guess, Hadley is going to be the godmother.”
Ben laughed, a full-on belly laugh that made me want to knock him off the barstool he was sitting on. “Lauren said Hadley had the same exact reaction when she asked her about being the godmother. You two are such a hot mess.”
“I truly have never met someone who pisses me off the way she does.” I took a sip of my drink.
“I think the two of you want each other bad, but you’re too damn stubborn to admit it.”
“Would I have sex with her? Sure. But I can’t talk to her for more than thirty seconds before I want to kill myself, so I’m going to say no, we do not want each other at all beyond maybe a quick roll in the hay. Assuming she actually even likes sex.”
“Look, she and Lauren are going to be here any minute. Could you please just try to be nice?”
“I’m not the one who’s not nice,” I shot back. “And it kind of pisses me off that you’re always defending her.”
Ben sighed. “You think I don’t defend you when the tables are turned?”
“I don’t know. Do you?” I met his gaze with irritation. Things hadn’t been the same since we’d left college. We were still tight, of course, but with me playing in New York and him in St. Louis, it was hard to stay in touch, keep up with the day-to-day details we’d shared since we were fourteen. Not to mention, he now had a wife and a baby on the way. Meanwhile, I was still footloose and fancy-free, sleeping my way through Manhattan while playing hockey for one of the best teams in the league.
“Come on, you know better than that. I’m just giving you shit, and while I really do wish you and Hadley would get along, nothing comes between us. You’re my brother—biology notwithstanding.”
“I know.” I looked away.
“What’s really bothering you? Everything okay?”
“It’s been weird playing without you. I love what I’m doing, and the hockey here is fucking amazing, but I don’t love living here, and my teammates have been a little standoffish. I think I’m gonna get traded.”
Ben’s eyebrows rose a little. “For real? You have any feelers out?”
“My agent’s been on top of it, but I’m not sure where we’re at.”
Ben looked thoughtful. “Any interest in coming to St. Louis?”
I was surprised. “You think that’s possible?”
“I don’t know for sure, but we could use a winger like you to round out the second line. Let your agent know you’re interested.”
“I will. Definitely.” I was about to thank him when I spotted Lauren and Hadley coming through the restaurant toward us. Lauren looked more beautiful than ever, her tiny baby bump on display with a tight sweater and leggings. Hadley looked like a freakin’ supermodel, with a full face of makeup, wearing all black and the highest heels I’d ever seen.
“Hey, babe.” Ben got up to kiss his wife and pull out her chair and I reluctantly got up to do the same for Hadley.
“Hey, ladies.” I leaned over to kiss Lauren on the cheek and Hadley used the momentary distraction to slide into her chair before I could pull it out.
“Hey, good-lookin’!” Lauren hugged me before sitting down.
“Hey, Ben.” Hadley briefly smiled at him before pulling out her phone and typing something in.
God, she drove me crazy, but we were about to become godparents to Ben and Lauren’s baby, so I had to suck it up and be on my best behavior. Thank God I only saw her once or twice a year.
“So did Ben tell you the news?” Lauren asked, grinning.
“Yup.” I grinned back at her because I truly loved my best friend’s wife almost as much as he did. “And I can’t fucking wait. I don’t know what a godfather is supposed to do, but I’m in, whatever it takes.”
“We know that,” Ben said. “That’s why we chose you.”
Hadley put away her phone and though she was cool as fuck to me, the four of us carried on pleasant conversation all through dinner. Lauren wasn’t drinking, of course, but Ben and I were three or four bourbons in by the time dinner was over, and I’d lost count of how many martinis Hadley had ordered.
She was kind of cute when she was drunk, though, giggling a lot—even at my jokes—and constantly telling Lauren she loved her. It was obvious how close they were, despite the distance between them since Lauren was in St. Louis with Ben and Hadley worked here in Manhattan. Ironically, I had zero desire to hang out with her even though we only lived about ten subway stops from each other.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room.” Hadley got to her feet and stumbled a little.
“You want me to come with?” Lauren asked her.
“I’m good!” Hadley waved a hand, tottering on those stupidly high heels as she weaved in and out toward the back.
I watched her go because she had a great ass and long legs, but I wasn’t the only one who noticed. At least half a dozen heads in the restaurant turned, especially one guy sitting at the other end of the bar. Once we’d finished dinner and dessert, we’d moved to the bar so our waiter could seat another party at the table, and there had been quite a few guys eyeing Hadley since it was pretty obvious we weren’t together. She was oblivious, though, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because she was drunk, she wasn’t interested, or she genuinely had no idea how gorgeous she was.
One of the guys at the end of the bar nudged his buddy, who looked at Hadley’s disappearing back, and then got up, following in the direction she’d gone.
Shit.
Did I mind my own business or did I go after her, just to make sure she was okay?
I mumbled something about having to take a leak and went back to the restrooms. Hadley was against the wall, the guy who’d followed her loosely boxing her in with one hand against the wall just to her right and the other reaching for her. Hadley swatted his hand away, shaking her head. The guy laughed, lowering his head as if he were going to kiss her and Hadley shoved at his chest.
That was all I needed to see and I reached out, yanking the guy away by the back of his shirt.
“Hey!” He swung around, poised for a fight, but the minute he saw me he stepped back.
“Is there a problem here?” I asked, leveling my gaze at him.
“Oh, hey, Kirby, sorry, I didn’t realize she was yours.” The guy nodded at me and headed away at a fast clip.
“What the hell was that?” Hadley demanded, glaring at me.
“I thought he was hassling you,” I protested. “I was just trying to help.”
“I can take care of myself,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “This isn’t my first night out in the big city. Guys hit on me all the time.”
“Oh, well, excuse the fuck out of me for trying to be a nice guy.”
“Ha!” She rolled her eyes. “There isn’t a single nice thing about you, Wes Kirby. In the future, mind your own business!”
“Absolutely,” I said, throwing up my hands. “Next time, I’ll be sure to let the creep from the bar assault you. No skin off my teeth.” I shook my head and stalked back out to the bar. She was truly the world’s biggest pain in the ass.
Chapter Eight
Hadley
“Can I push the button?” Annalise asked, her eyes wide with excitement.
I double-checked to make sure the lid on Lauren’s food processor was locked, pointed to the Start button and said, “Yes, it’s this one right here.”
“I know, Mommy always lets me push the button.”
She stood on the chair she’d scooted over to the kitchen counter and pushed the button, and the food processor started to whir, running a lot quieter than I’d expected. Annalise watched as the avocado chunks in the blender swirled into a puree.
“This isn’t hard,” I said to her. “It feels like it’s going to be a huge deal, but you just have to get organized first and clean as you go.”
I’d been at it since Wes left for practice this morning, moving Benny from his stationary jumper to his swing to keep him happy, and occasionally holding him against my hip and having him sample the different baby foods I’d made.
Jars of pureed blueberries, chickpeas, green beans, kiwis and bananas lined the marble kitchen island. I was taking photos for my article about making homemade baby food, not even feeling guilty I had the Disney Channel on in the family room for when Annalise got bored and wanted a break from the kitchen.
It was Tuesday, so Tori wasn’t on nanny duty today. The kids and I were in no hurry to get out of our jammies, and I felt better than I had in a while.
Here I was, actually multitasking. Accomplishing childcare and work and feeling like I actually could find a way to do it all. With an assist from coffee, of course.
* * *
I could admit to myself that my good mood was partially due to Wes kissing me last night.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was so much more than just good. There were many words that were more accurate. Hot. Raw. Heart-stopping. The whole world had stopped for those few seconds, and all I’d felt was heat and muscle and the primal need coming not just from Wes, but from myself, too.
My world had never stopped turning before last night. Not once. I’d been that woman who was always thinking. Even during sex. I struggled to fall asleep at night, no matter how tired I was, because my mind was always on.
Last night, though, Wes Kirby had brought everything to an unexpected and mind-blowing halt. It had taken a long time to wind down from all the different emotions he’d made me feel. And this morning when I woke up, that kiss was the first thing I’d thought of.
When he’d looked at me with that swollen, stitched-up cut above his eye, I’d seen far more emotional hurt than physical. His eyes had flashed dark indigo, full of pent-up grief, anger and tension. In that moment, Wes needed me.
As I drained the sweet potatoes I’d peeled and boiled, I wondered what might have happened if Annalise hadn’t interrupted us last night. Would either of us have seen reason and stopped the madness, or would we have ended up fucking right on the kitchen island where I was now lining up baby food?
I smiled as I thought about how much Lauren would have loved hearing about this. She’d always sworn Wes wasn’t the womanizing dirtbag I thought he was and that if I’d give him another chance, we’d be a great match.
“Aunt Hadley, can I have some Froot Woops?” Annalise asked me. “In a bowl but not with milk?”
“How about if you have a banana first, and then a few Froot Loops?”
“Okay. Did you know my mommy likes to make banana cookies?”
I looked at her perfect, innocent face and dark curls and melted inside. Lauren’s death still hurt so badly, but Annalise and Benny brought me comfort. Each of them had Lauren inside them, and it hurt a little less to remember she would always live on through them.
“I didn’t know that,” I told Annalise. “Were those your favorite cookies your mom made?”
“Banana chocolate chip is my favorite!” she said, pronouncing it “chocwut.”
“Why don’t we find your mommy’s recipe and make some today?”
“Yeah! I can push the buttons and stir. Mommy said I’m good at stirring.”
“I bet you are.”
“Can I tell you a secret, Aunt Hadley?”
She gave me a solemn look, her eyes wide. I mentally braced myself for a comment about Lauren that would threaten to break me, but Annalise surprised me.
“Of course you can.”
“I like to eat those baby food bananas.”
Brows arched, I looked at her, waiting for the rest of the secret.
“Is that it?” I asked.
“Don’t tell Uncle Wes. I don’t want him to think I’m a baby.”
Laughing, I set my spoon down and picked her up in a hug. “He’d never think that, and do you know what a little ray of sunshine you are?”
Benny started fussing in his swing, so I grabbed a banana for Annalise, peeled down the top for her and took Benny to the nursery for a diaper change and some cuddles. When we got back to the kitchen, Annalise asked for her Froot Loops, so I washed up and poured a few into a bowl, hoping Lauren would understand.
I settled Benny into his high chair and gave him a frozen teething ring, then cleaned the food processor and loaded the sweet potato chunks into it. This was the last batch of baby food, and then I’d arrange jars of everything I’d made for some staged “after” photos, clean up, make lunch for all of us and see if I had all the ingredients for banana chocolate chip cookies.
Benny whined and I turned around, finding his teething ring on the floor.
“I’ll wash it off, big guy,” I said, smiling at him as I picked it up and ran it under the kitchen faucet.
He grabbed it back, grinning, and proceeded to drool all over it. At that point, my pho
ne rang and I walked over to glance at it, seeing my boss’s name on the screen.
“Ugh.” I sighed and picked it up, feigning enthusiasm. “Hey, Liz.”
“Hadley. Where are the sidebar pitches for the solo travel piece?”
“I thought you liked the ones I pitched on the phone, so those were the only ones I included.”
“I always want multiple sidebar pitches.”
That wasn’t actually true. When Liz said she was putting something on the budget, that meant it had been chosen as pitched. But I knew better than to try to win an argument with her.
“Okay, I can get some more to you late tonight.”
“I was hoping for something within the next hour.”
Benny squealed, dropping his teething ring on the floor again. I picked it up and washed it off again, passing it back to him.
“I’ll do my best,” I told Liz. “But my nanny isn’t available on Tuesdays so I’m taking care of the kids today.”
“Look, I’ve been very flexible with this whole situation,” she said, her tone laced with aggravation. “But today I need work done during working hours.”
Benny started whimpering, and I turned to see his face all scrunched, winding up for an epic cry. I quickly removed his high chair tray and unbuckled him, picking him up in hopes of comforting him before he started screaming.
“And I think I can do it,” I told Liz, gently bouncing Benny on my hip. “Naptime is in an hour and a half. Can I send you something within the next two hours?”
Right as I could sense Liz caving, Benny let out an ear-piercing wail, and I cringed, walking into the family room to see if maybe the TV screen would catch his attention and calm him down a bit.
“Yeah, fine,” Liz said shortly. “I guess two hours will have to work.”
“Okay, thanks for understanding.”
Liz didn’t even hear me—she’d already ended the call. Someone really needed to let her know how unprofessional it was to just hang up on people.
Hard Fall Page 7
