by Kaero Davis
Touch You
I can touch you,
And feel far deeper than the surface,
I love to touch you,
And know that it’s my purpose,
I’ve never known anybody quite like you,
But I know I pride I do,
Opening my eyes for a different view,
Showing me anew,
I’d protect you at any cost,
You’re so very precious to me,
I feel I’d won although I lost,
For you, I’d pleasure to bleed,
I feel in such the happiest state,
I’d do anything and never hesitate,
You’ve got me in a desperate wait,
Keen to next elate,
You’re so beautiful deep inside,
It’s so easy to confide,
I just love how you guide,
I’m always smiling wide,
I want to touch you deep,
The way you do to me,
I still watch you when I sleep,
For you’re always in my dream,
You’re just as I’ve always prayed for,
One I’d hoped I’d always find,
The universe delivered me to your door,
And you just blow my mind,
I’ll never stop loving you,
And I’ll never let you go,
I’ll never really part from you,
My hearts become your home,
I need you like,
The sun needs the moon,
Thine, ever so heavenly sent,
You eliminate all the gloom,
Exit Scenario
“I could say what I feel a million times and still feel I haven’t quite done it justice like I haven’t even gotten close – but I’ll never stop trying. You know I’ve always said that there isn’t a strong enough word for what love really means in the dictionary because love is such a strong emotion I never quite feel the word itself doesn’t match the level of feeling – along with its’ infinite limitless energy. If it were possible for me to fabricate a new word that sounds closer to what it feels, then I would do it solely influenced under you. I just want to feel that little bit closer to defining how I feel about you – but even if I never reach that point – I will never stop trying. I’ll never stop showing you how important you are to me. I always feel a gigantic part of me is missing whenever we’re apart and I desire nothing more than to have you back within my presence – because I feel that distance, I really feel that difference when you’re gone. I’m crazy about you and I really – with all my heart want to be with you for the entire rest of my life. This was for you gorgeous – one of many and countless yet to come but all for you Szarich.” – Soag.
Enter Scenario
“I’m a journalist, a writer for restaurants and glorious plates and recipes for food – exotic, delicious, bizarre yet exquisite dining around the world. This one hotel I’ve stayed at however a little over a week – I later found has a bizarre history all of its’ own. This hotel is still owned by the original family that first built it – that legend tells; here roams a spirit of a woman who’d died of a broken heart. I have already sensed a bizarre presence around this hotel at night and have heard strange things happen – strange sounds. It was something I had little want to do with. I didn’t want to disturb any presence that was there – not when I still valued my sleep – I tried to keep a rational mind. Until this one night. This one peculiar night I was cautious – extremely so because of the tale being that the spirit that inhabited this place - had glided right by my bedroom door, this one night I caught glimpses as I’d tip-toed around having to find a way to the lavatory. I awoke with a full bladder and was cross-legged, busting. I would hear talk of the story – only catching bits and pieces and finally gathered up the courage to invite myself into a drunken bar discussion. They’d told me a very eerie tale indeed, that it had inspired me to write ‘Weeping Widow.’ There was a family who’d moved here of the same name to this long-lived family in this coastal town, but there was no known recorded knowledge of relation. The weeping widow – who’d died broken-hearted – whose husband was said to maybe have died at sea at war; speculation speaks a rumour that he may have taken refuge on floating debris and been picked up by a fishing ship that berths at a dock in a port a few hours north. And it is all speculation but the family who’d moved here told us they came from that port town a few hours north.” – Bula-Vel.
Weeping Widow
She ghastily glides across the halls,
Upon a glance your heart would stall,
And I can feel it through the walls,
Her wailing weeping calls,
She awaits a lover that never returns,
Out on the sea his tides had churned,
Lost to warfare his ship did sink,
Or so is the tale told over a drink,
What was left of a broken heart as was surely she,
Locked to this manor, her spirit never freed,
As I, a visitor, been here a week and now in this very space,
I feel terror thick in the air, and a delirious lack of grace,
Any man with a deceitful heart that fall prey to her gaze,
Eventually meet their ends in mysterious messy ways,
For no one really knows the truth, maybe nor does she,
That her man was ever really lost to the unforgiving sea,
T’is a major mystery but still now more superstition,
A belief many have seen her ghost, gives this story ammunition,
For those though that do hear her call,
Heed my word you’ll surely fall,
Be aware and keep away,
And your soul will never stray,
But tonight, I hear her call my name,
She persuades to come and play…
Exit Scenario
“I wondered if the weeping widow was ever curious or suspicious of her husband being unfaithful. And thus, this night that I met her – I asked her this burning question. And I think it was the very question that kept me alive. The very thing I said was the very thing to have let me live passed meeting her. Rumour had it said that any man with a deceitful heart – mysteriously get killed. I talked to her about it and explained that not all men are as dishonest as that – and certainly not me, but I did empathize. And now as far as I knew, she was finally set to peace. I am alive – at least I think I passed the test in giving her that closure; I think she’s been able to let go and be able to finally rest. Bless the poor woman.” – Bula-Vel.
Enter Scenario
“Some relations grow and blossom into beautiful things, others decay and wither away. Those need to be cut and hacked off away before they kill off the main plant with some disease or what-not. I really wanted to make it work with this one girl, fuck – she was absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, but after my mental wear on her – the whole thing died long before it could’ve even been all I’d hoped for… maybe it might have worked if I were the more patient, but I was rushing something that needed time to grow to something spectacular. All she wanted then was a friendship, I guess now I know I wasn’t certain I could give as much as I could understand, I still don’t think I understand it I’m not a poof for one – and I couldn’t ever really wrap my head around the whole heterosexual – opposite-sex friendship thing. I always wanted more, and she wasn’t particularly prepared for it. And with her occupation – her career against my ‘condition’, I was foolish to think or even hope it could’ve been more. And I think to myself now that I never really put as much thought into it back then as I should’ve – and I really wasn’t so fair nor easy on her about it. I can see it now, I know better now, shit, I’ve involved myself with another relationship since, and learnt more in a shorter space of time with this new babe than I had ever previous
ly. I had learnt things that have only improved on my existence, but I still have a long way to go.” – Schoovau.
Wilting Rose
I wonder if you know just how it feels,
For a heart to beat hard then suddenly still,
Thought you were cool but you gave me chills,
I was kept waiting as you chased other thrills,
I tried to fight through all those woes,
Time passed slow, I’d feared it froze,
But you’re exposed and you’ll never know,
How you’ll never be more than a wilting rose,
I might say I’m waiting for the day,
Your indiscretions show you’ve wasted away,
Wondering as I did what could have been,
But I’m not angry now I’ve vented my steam,
Our connection has been long closed,
For I’ve now a woman whom brightly glows,
My passion for her steadily grows,
Stronger than yours, a wilting rose,
Our psychic tie eclipses, withered -
The frayed remaining thread’s been scissored,
As a dying rose in its’ cluster must be excisioned,
I now know I was never your envisioned,
And I now count more cons than pros,
My heart blackened by your bruising blows,
I suppose at the time it’s what I chose,
But the feelings as decayed as a wilting rose…
Exit Scenario
“I may never cross paths with her again ever; but I know over the time it’s been since our last communication, I’ve changed dramatically. And she may notice if we were to ever cross paths again. Things, I know, will be different if I ever decide to pick back up a communication with her. Very, very different. I don’t even think I could see her the same way as I’d used to, even if she ever tried chasing me down and wanting to take it as far as I once wanted. There’s no reviving something dead. And not even after a good measure of time. I’d almost hoped I wouldn’t ever have to see her again – just out of the fear that I wouldn’t know what to say – or even feel some kind of sympathy or empathy. Shit, I don’t think I could feel anything at all toward her. I seriously think I’d be numb, stone-cold-dead to her. But, I might even apologize to her for the extremes of mine toward her in the past – but the little care I have to tell her would be as fleeting as they want to see her ever again. Like I said, it’s decayed – withered, and there’s no reviving the long dead. Not even for some weird kind of friendship.” – Schoovau.
Enter Scenario
“I have been salvaged at last! This wonderous woman, she’s saved me from another downward spiral and realigned me back onto my true destined path. I owe her more than I can ever give – more than she could ever comprehend. I will always make the best attempts I can to return to her all she’s done for me. She’s pulled – wrenched me free of the darkness assuming a control over me. She’s shown me a purity of good, the like I’ve never previously seen. She’s shown me the inner light within myself and I am eternally grateful. I feel I owe her my soul. She’s saved me. Rescued me. And she’s given me new insight, a new perspective – a new lease on life. A fresh start. She’s perhaps the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Beautiful completely and entirely all the way through, and if I could see any flaws, they wouldn’t be too much at all for me to get passed. It wouldn’t be much for me to see past it. I tell her all the time that I never want to take more from her than I can ever give back and I’m dead set about it. But if I do – then, well, I’m prepared to spend whatever time it takes for me to completely compensate her. She’s worthy of it, and I know for certain.” – Cren.
You Rescue Me
My life was once swallowed by darkness and evil,
But by meeting you, my light shone through newly revealed,
I was once guided by all the things horrifically wrong,
But now my eyes accept the right, and I feel infinitely as strong,
I would raise you up atop the tallest pedestal,
For in many ways to me there are none as beautiful,
And I can feel delight shaking off old misery,
As you have come to rescue me and I am finally free,
For as long as the black abyss above me did reign,
I’d lost hope believing I would never be the same,
But those feelings have evaporated and are now long gone,
Replacing those old feelings with something infinitely as strong,
You now have my heart and complete devotion forever,
The depths of my love for you could never be measured,
And I can feel delight shaking off old misery,
For you have come you rescue me and I am finally free,
Exit Scenario
“The happiness she’s restored within me, the fulfilment, it’s more than I had ever hoped for. If I didn’t have the drive before – I most certainly have it now. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. And at the drop of a hat – I’d be there. I wouldn’t hesitate a second longer. Not for what she’s done for me. I’d be at her side instantly. My Goddess, woman of my dreams – my northern star burning bright. She has been absolutely amazing, rocked my world and I’ll never forget. I’ve never betrayed her once and I never will once. My twin flame, my soul-mate – my best friend. I love you. Thank you with all my heart and every ounce of essence of my being. I am completely yours…” – Cren.
Chapter 4:
Degrees Of Degradation
Content Titles (Alphabetically Sequenced):
1.Assume Control
2.Black Bird
3.Body Temple
4.Cursed In The Name Of Death
5.Darkness of Night
6.Demon
7.Devil’s Own
8.Explanatorium
9.Ferry Man…A Prophecy
10.Four Threes of Seven
11.From Wall to Fall
12.Fuck Knows What
13.Gallows Walk
14.Gentleman At Heart
15.Hallowed Be, Humanity
16.I For Infinite For I
17.Justifying Balance
18.Kleptomaniac
19.Living Still As I Decay
20.Lost Case
21.Lost Time
22.Lucifer…My Father
23.Maturity
24.Once Upon An Unholy Soldier
25.Outcast
26.Outcast – Cont.
27.Point For Interest
28.ProLife
29.Satan’s Toothpick
30.Scratch NOT Slash
31.Submission
32.Sympathy for God
33.That C-U-Next-Tuesday
34.The Drag Down
35.The Way I Know Best, Mine
36.Time Never Waits
37.To Hell And Back
38.Torn Away Grace
39.T.P.S (Tall Poppy Syndrome)
40.Undermined Credibility
41.When The Mood
Enter Scenario
“When there is just too much order – there will soon feel an uncomfortable disorder. My antidote – chaos. Sometimes things just get so far beyond what they were meant to be. Order was established to rectify the chaos. That were the old days, but we now have too much order and like I said the disorder that follows is much like a cancer. It’s ridiculous. We need chaos to remind us why we have order. We have a system in place very much like a religion – except we don’t just have ten commandments – we’ve got thousands of laws upon which reign over where old virtues and morale died. Good needs evil to keep it on its’ toes. Just as evil needs good to remind it of what it just can’t fuckin’ stand. Here’s a head-fuck – call me
a liar – but I know for a fact the so-called good we follow in a church are as good a cover as a wolf in sheep clothing – “Don’t go to heaven, because it’s really only Hell” the words of which Ronnie James Dio sang in his song, ‘Don’t Talk To Strangers’. The catholic church was only designed as a cover to mask the true blueprinted design of manipulation for control. It shouldn’t bother me as much when I know the bible is only a collection of fictional stories we really don’t need to praise as much as we do. We really can’t be taking fiction of any sort – even the structure of this book itself – seriously, don’t take it too seriously. There is a sickening amount of importance people have seemed to place on religion (and I can only think the reason being; to justify how each individual person wants to live – justifying their piss poor attitude towards their brothers and sisters and neighbours,). You’re never meant to take a movie seriously – so why should it be any different to the stories misinterpreted in the bible? It is a system of control – and too well ordered that only those in high-ranks are to benefit. They say they care – but you should probably be aware that they enjoy being at the head of the masses, they enjoy all the attention they’re receiving. And they’ll never admit it. But in the case they might admit it – be careful not to fall for the bluff. People can be highly skilled at hiding their true natures and motives. And most of the time they’re as sinister as any enemy they will claim plots against them. Take charge, Assume control…” – Privisctine.
