by Kaero Davis
Enter Scenario
“The only trouble I face making what choices I alternate between, is having to feel the painful regret and guilt felt by others – strongly against my reasoning. I can’t often assume the advice I’m given won’t contradict the consequences that follow that quite frequently - make me feel like I’ve just wasted time trying it on. That whatever happens goes against the true nature of the intention. I don’t mind practicing as others preach as long as it is completely flawless, mind you – the flaw is often not knowing more than could’ve actually helped me if the advice wasn’t as fucking vague – I mean, I get ridiculous looks and ridiculous reactions when I question all about that which I’m being told. I’m often only asking out of fear of fucking it up somehow and if it doesn’t work – would it have been a waste? What I’m being told might not work for me. Before I go to do something – I generally premeditate for mental preparation – yet if something is lacking, if I’m not properly or thoroughly informed, then I just won’t have the best luck executing whatever task. If I don’t feel I understand very well, if I don’t know exactly what to know – it is subject to fail. And that’s why I ask, but by my nature, in turn of asking for a sympathetic ear – I too, will grant one, I have often said to people “if it’s relative with the subject at hand then there is never a ridiculous question.” I also ask because there’s nothing I hate worse than feeling like I’m going around in circles and or being left behind. It irritates me and rouses a frustration within me to know I’ve just wasted an inconvenient amount of time, energy, effort and or finances. But then there are the consequences, the reactions of people who can’t figure out why the bullshit hadn’t worked for me – the looks on the faces of these advisors, telling me there’s absolutely no reason, no way I could possibly have fucked it all up.” – Pvogg.
Outlook
Yeah, I’ve got reasons to my methods,
None I know for a fact you’d understand,
Methods of confusion that make you question,
You’re best to just keep your head in the sand,
Now before you go and get upset,
Know my way works for me best,
Don’t stand there tell me shit you’ve said before,
Not when you’re not even keeping score,
I don’t agree, I can’t agree on your outlook,
All that negativity just isn’t any good,
Can’t you see you’re stuck in circles?
And why have you gotta be worrying over me for?
I know what I’m doing – been doing it long enough,
Your input isn’t needed – I couldn’t give a stuff,
You don’t like? Well, you can bite me then, tough,
You can just go off and do your own thing, I’m goin’ for a puff,
But before you go to rant and rave,
Watch how you look as you misbehave,
People all around will walk away,
The expressions on their faces – so grave,
I’ve got my reasons to my methods,
Methods too confusing making you question,
None of which I know for a fact you would understand,
Just leave me to it and bury your head in the sand,
Don’t go to rant and rave –
Just walk away…
Exit Scenario
“Woe with the reaction I get when I eventually fuck shit up doing as I was vaguely told. “it’s common sense” they say – well I might be the first to admit that I don’t always have the second nature ability to immediately revert to common sense to everything every time. Oh, the stupidity I feel as they look at me in disbelief. And I myself am astounded by the reaction returned. And then I’m left wondering how they couldn’t have expected at least some level of failure – without even having really been shown – as much as I should’ve been shown. I really am as capable as some think but can’t help feel hopeless when nothing goes accordingly. Oh, the shame I’m made felt – and upon failure, comes the reputation that limits my chance at another attempt or any other attempt at anything else. This reputation for failure just follows you around until you finally get another chance to prove otherwise. And it’s often difficult to prove another wrong after they’ve seen a multitude of failure. They say they want to see you improve – just won’t share too much if any actual support but then want to take the credit in anything great you’ve accomplished. Perception is a strange thing. Outlook is a strange thing. Depending on your thirst to prove yourself, depending on what you feel inside – emotion can significantly determine how well you do at something or not. Emotion can be the drive – the hunger and thirst to thrive and never stop until you get there – or, emotion may even drive you to forsake your path – or any further growth to improving. Emotion is good – but works well alongside your outlook, your perception – whatever it may be, but emotion may have an ultimate pull over whichever you decide on. Positive or negative. Or so I have found.” – Pvogg.
Enter Scenario
““have you ever felt in love with someone – and they with you, but feel it were a matter of time before it was all over?”
“A couple of times, but I sense you’re about to make a valid point,”
“indeed. I see the odd Christian, loves their God and all that – as they do, yet I can bet not too many will be granted a safe passage to paradise as they pray they do,”
“oh, now I feel you’re about to drone on about these ‘hypocrites’”
“Well, yes. You see I really can’t see them following the rules to a ‘T’. they might not think of it as such a big deal at all, but Christ, would be turning in his grave feeling all this – seeing all this,”
“there’s nothing we can do to change it, people won’t change until they really want to,”
“The threat of purgatory and Hell is real enough, but – why even love a God that doesn’t care and pretend not to ‘exist’?”
“Go on,”
“Why not love the devil? The opposing God? At least he’s made an effort to mingle with humankind. He’s been here dozens of times for possession. Why not love something that really wants you back?”” – Vedtte.
Passion For The Antichrist
Real love has no need of conditions,
No need for confession, nor any admission,
No reason to question, has no contradictions,
Never imprisons nor pains existence,
A Demi-God watches from beyond the waves,
Beckons all slaves toward the purifying flames,
To denounce your defunct, redundant faith,
To alleviate, step up and get made,
Real love knows no discrimination,
Like all true emotion is best reciprocated,
Guilt is a gambit and to distil is antiquated,
The shame to abstain from foreign fascination,
A Demi-God beckons, calling all slaves,
To denounce and alleviate of all redundant faith,
A covenant awaits, just sign your name,
Partake, and traipse on through the flames,
Fall prey no more to holy machinations,
Awake, arise and indulge in temptation,
A gift of the forsaken for his admiration,
Sink deep in sensation, redeem his invitation,
Despite the despise and divine holy lies,
Lucifer strives to find a compromise,
Whatever love you provide will surely suffice,
Confer your passion for the antichrist…
Exit Scenario
“Touché Brother Touché,”
“Well, it’s only fitting,”
“Deep,”
““Yeah… see the Christian Gods got his boundaries, these rules – these commandments, where as there are only 9 satanic statements. We’ve gotta do as God command
s – not what is ultimately spiritually gratifying. Devil says just wing it – without hurting another without their consent. See it’s the consent of another that sold it for me. I praise Satan.”
“You mean, you’re passionate for the antichrist?”
“That’s it mate, dead set (wink),”” – Vedtte.
Enter Scenario
“When It comes to my prayers – I generally say something of a general mantra first to the gods, then give them praise, ask them their help or for signs to guide me and for solutions to complex situations I might face – then a thanks and praise again and end prayer. Yes, I said ‘GODS’ as in more than one. A Spiritualist, a Pagan, a Christian, a little of everything – with a little interest in Tao also. I mix it, not to suit myself, but for other simpler reasons. How can you have respect for others when you don’t know so much about them – and why not start with what they believe? Relation is still relation – where every story is different, but the message is all the same and everybody is treated fairly and equally. What better it is to have many men to help with the extra hands than it is to shift a considerable weight on one’s own. Well, would it not be better to have more than just the one God on your side? Perks aside – it works for me, even Greek and Roman mythology. The more I pray, honest and sincerely – the more power I give the belief – the more it’ll work in my favour by the strength of my faith. The more good I give – the more wisdom I share or my spare set of hands to lend – it goes in my favour and I am often victorious with my efforts. The love and faith I choose to give to whomever, God or ‘Gods’ will reward my actions – the humane things I do whenever I may roam. Many hands make light work, the more the better. But as I said I am always sincere and honest in all I say in my prayer. It changes slightly from time to time in various moods or situations but isn’t all too different. I am open to all religious sects and will listen and still be compassionate about another’s’ happiness and feelings regarding their beliefs. Shame not everyone is like that, it’s a shame that there are some who’re intolerant of another people’s culture and are cruel to them about it. It’s a shame that some believe their religious sect is superior to another’s. Poor to nil respect of foreign beliefs; I, me, personally believe all religious cults have messages we all should adopt and learn because they appear to have just as much sense as the others… Keep an open mind and heart – and you might find you’ll be surprised. My prayer goes something like this;” – Zoukaa.
Prayer:
God’s almighty upon your thrones,
Hear my prayer, let me atone,
I cannot rid of sinister things,
I’m ashamed of all my sins,
Please, I beg, let it rain,
Let the water wash away my pain,
Love others as you’ve loved me,
Give them hope and let them see,
As bad as others have appeared, I fear I’m worse,
Please never let them feel whatever my curse,
I fully remorse for the bad things I do,
Please look into to my heart and see me true,
I pray that no one hurts the way I feel,
Weak and defeated, at a kneel,
And I know it’s fully me to blame,
I know I’ll never shake my shame,
Please have mercy more on others,
I beg for them strength to recover,
From any hell I may have inflicted,
Or still more yet to come unpredicted,
Please accept my vow to bleed,
My last sacrifice, a selfless deed,
All my energy spent to protect,
With intense love and unconditional respect,
Exit Scenario
“It might be difficult for some of you to believe that prayers can be answered. Cynicism is negative, but it seems to be the popular way lately. But my prayers aren’t just answered because I believe or give my full heart but rather also because I am awake. I am aware there is a spiritual force – some kind of web out there that everything’s connected by thread to. I know what signs to look for, I am aware of what I ask and am more observant and open in seeing the signs, the signals that stand out the most. I’m not cynical but receptive. I see the reasons why some things work in a spiritual way. And not just that, but I can see how they work. You can call me crazy but I know in myself that I am sensitive enough to feel the energy. Somehow, I can just *click* on to that part of the brain that can just sense it and pick up the signals. I search deeper than the average person. And whatever I say – I actually mean far deeper than any other ‘average’ person has said that I’ve known. And when I do things like thank someone for something previous, I have wondered if that other person really understood what gravity my heart knows to the meaning of it, that assistance I received. How deeply thankful I feel and silently promise that wherever I might be needed – I would graciously pay it forward to an extent I would feel was comfortably equivalent to what such kindness was foregone to me. It might never seem too big a deal to others - but I feel it is a big deal to me, and I value what compassion I see in others. I value the compassion it takes to change the way someone feels about something; where someone else might have the power to step in and change that way of thinking for someone else, for the better, and with an act of random kindness, without any expectation. Whatever God you know sees all, and in some way or another you’re rewarded for what good you do – it comes around. Compassion without expectation that things will go in your favour but rather for the purpose of someone else truly, genuinely caring about that other link in the web. I am one of those who would help support another for the grander cause. A future where everyone can be accepted, as our gods accept us, where every effort is appreciated by whoever contributes and great thanks goes to a good number of the people who well contributed. Where there be weakness at one area, then should there be bountiful and generous strengths in another. The Beauty of free will is individuality – and we should just sit back and watch and marvel at how gloriously different everybody is – be amazed at everyone else’s different strengths and innovation. Where brawn falters – let there be brains and vice versa…” – Zoukaa.
Enter Scenario
“If none of us ever followed our dreams to become what we desire, to stand out differently from the rest, bold and unnatural, mankind wouldn’t be what we know it to be. A lot of it involves being risky and taking risks to experiment with what idea’s we can prove possible to achieve. Any great woman or man who has ever lived that has truly proved remarkable wonders credible, were at first shunned and criticized, scrutinized for thinking, feeling, living out of the norm. any person not immediately seen to fit in is labelled by the majority of society to have some sort of craze or insanity – right up until they’ve proven otherwise in their dedication to the work. And amazingly so, defeat what obstacles are set up and in the way. Why listen to the majority when they only want to see you suffer as bad as them or worse? Many of ’em never realize - never understand – never know what you’re up to ’til they work it out, and a majority of the time – they can hate you even worse afterward, and only by their jealousy. Only by envy. Soon enough you’re not struggling anymore – you’ve made a good reputable name for yourself and have well-endowed yourself in fortunes you’d have only ever dreamt of before. A lot of the time people will question the worth of all your time and effort and even question why. But at times, you don’t know how or why, you just know you’ve got to no matter what. So, let be…” – Growlt.
Questionable Content
My folks think it questionable that I should write,
Journal pages, lyrics, limericks, poems all extracted from my mind,
Of the very things I find myself thinking of throughout time,
Kinds of things I like that often earn others to criticize, scrutinize,
Now I understand it’s not everybody’s ‘thing’,
And not t
oo much of it is practical to think,
More mere therapy for me whence on the brink,
As soothing as it was, as healthy as a drink,
I will admit my preferred content is questionable,
But I will say a good portion of it is memorable,
You might see my interpretation has some potential,
And every ounce of my work is essential,
I really need to practice as much as I actually do,
I have ambition, a career I yearn to get into,
It’s not entirely anywhere near what the majority do,
But I have as much desire to help me on through,
Being over-confident, over-commitment makes mistakes,
