She gulped nervously as she turned her attention away from the bed. But it was Zayn who truly took her breath away. He’d changed into a pair of loose grey pants and a black shirt; an outfit she could only guess was more traditional to the men of Naman, and he looked dark and dangerous, and bone-meltingly sexy.
“You did well today,” Zayn said seriously, his face covered in shadow and therefore unreadable.
“Oh?” Her throat felt tight, too tight to speak. She clasped her hands behind her back. For some reason, they were shaking, and she didn’t want him to see.
“Yes. I think you convinced Adina and Amal that ours is a match of love.”
Julia was glad that the night was dark, because despite the stars shining up above, she knew he wouldn’t be able to see the way her cheeks were blushing. She had loved him once, and she was pretty sure she was only about five minutes away from loving him again. He could never know how close to the surface the emotion was for her. He had shown how willing he was to disregard her feelings to achieve his own ends. What would he do with her heart if he knew he held it? Undoubtedly contort it until she did whatever he wished.
She straightened her spine and forced herself to speak steadily. “I liked Adina very much. I don’t like lying to her.”
Zayn’s eyes narrowed as he slowly took in her appearance. Despite the warm desert night, she was shivering, and she was standing in a stiff pose. He walked stealthily across the floor, like a panther stalking his prey. She didn’t flinch. Good. He liked her strength, always had.
He stood so close that if she swayed just a little they’d be touching. She looked up at him, careful to keep her expression muted. His fragrance was like sandalwood, and it felt like a physical punch in the gut because she remembered it so well. It was a cologne that was specially crafted for him, and he’d given her a vial of it when he’d left her, to come back to Naman, four years earlier. “To remember me by, until next we meet,” he’d promised with the kind of kiss that had curled her toes and made her blood boil with lust.
“Such a tiny bottle,” she’d remarked teasingly, when she was capable of speech once more. “This won’t last long.”
“Then we shall have to meet again soon.” Only they hadn’t. Not for four years. He’d moved on only a month or two later, and she’d been left with the memories and the cologne and the pain of his absence and the sting of betrayal.
Julia pulled herself back in the present. It was dangerous to remember the past, especially the pleasurable parts. What little resolve she had would not last long in the face of such sweet seductions. “What is this place?” She asked, trying her hardest to sound bored.
“This is my real home,” he said with a curl of his lips.
Julia’s brows drew together as she studied his face. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes. Living in the desert is a great Namani tradition. I know it’s ironic, given the wealth and status of my family, but I like to sleep up here, under the stars, as my kinsmen always did.”
Inside her chest, Julia’s heart thudded painfully. As if he wasn’t already irresistible enough, he started sprouting poetic statements about kinsmen and the desert and starlit sleep. She repressed the wistful sigh that was forming inside her.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he intoned with something like coldness. “I know you like the finer things and there is a bedroom downstairs that would not look out of place in the palace. I expect it will come up to your standards.”
Anger breathed into her. “Why do you do that?”
“It is the truth. I know you, Julia. Don’t forget who you are speaking to.”
“Oh? Who’s that?” She asked tartly, wishing she could step away from him, but not wanting to at the same time.
“The man who paid six million pounds for you. You can pretend you don’t have a price, but we both know differently.”
She tried to swallow down the pain in her chest but it didn’t go anywhere. She closed her eyes in the hope it would block him and his hateful words out, but he was still there when she opened them a moment or two later.
“How could I forget our marriage contract?” She said with a steely determination that hid the jumble of sad nerves in her gut. “I told you already, you don’t own me. We had a deal. You helped my father out and I agreed to marry you. That does not mean you bought me.”
“Semantics, my bride. We agreed the terms before our happy marriage took place. It’s time for you to go through with your side of the deal.”
Unconsciously, her eyes strayed to the bed. His meaning was clear, and she had two choices. She could either lose her virginity here and now to a man who clearly thought her to be the worst of the worst, or she could renege on their deal and run the risk that he might back out on his promise to buy her father’s company.
She blinked back the sudden moisture in her eyes, and dropped her gaze. In the end, her treacherous body was making the decision for her. Rational though could argue the toss for all eternity, but her body was aching for the promise of sexual satisfaction that it had craved for years and years.
“Fine,” she whispered, so quietly that her word was carried away into the night.
Zayn pressed a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face, so that her eyes had to meet his.
“Don’t look like that,” he muttered.
“Like what?”
“Like your world is ending.”
It wasn’t. Julia knew it was all just beginning; that her life until this moment had been a preparation for this. But the knowledge that this man really did own her, body and soul, was making her uncertain. After all, he saw this as a necessary completion of their contract, and she was burning with desire.
And so she tried to remember to be brave, and to keep her feelings secret and safe. “We had a deal, Zayn, and I’m prepared to honor it.”
His eyes flared at her meaning, but there was a kernel of frustration inside of him that just wouldn’t go away. What did he expect? For her to fall into his bed and declare her love for him? She’d never loved him, and she’d certainly found a replacement for him in double quick time, so why did he expect her to fall at his feet now?
She would be screaming his name soon. That had to be enough.
He surprised them both when he scooped down and lifted her against his chest, so that he could carry her to the matrah. As soon as her body connected with his, he felt an instant stirring of need.
“I have waited a long time for you,” he said gruffly as he placed her down. “Longer than I’ve ever waited for anyone.”
Julia’s bobby pins dug into her hair and she lifted a hand to pull them loose but Zayn stilled her.
“Allow me,” he said, straddling her and then reaching towards her hair so that he could slowly ease each metal binding from its place. There were several, but eventually he had eased her hair from its confines and arranged it so that it floated like a cloud around her face.
Her hair had always made him ache. It was so dark it was almost like ebony, but silky and smooth, so that he wanted to run his hands through it endlessly.
“You were wrong about me,” she said, and because she needed him to understand her, she put her hands on either side of his face, and rubbed her fingertips along his stubbled jaw.
“How so?”
“I think this is one of the most beautiful rooms I’ve ever seen. If you honestly think I’d prefer luxury to this, then you don’t know me at all.”
Something dangerous sparked inside of him. He resolutely ignored it. He had one objective and one thought. Deliberately, he brushed her comment aside, “Perhaps now. It’s still a novelty. I’m sure you’ll be running for five star comfort before too long.”
She ground her teeth in annoyance. He was obviously resolved to think the worst of her.
Zayn ran his hands along her smooth, shapely legs, until he grazed the flimsy cotton briefs she wore. He slid them down swiftly, not allowing himself time to think, nor to second guess what he was about to do.
He had been raised to respect women. He had enjoyed a bachelor’s life, and enjoyed the company of many women in his bed, but he had never forced nor bullied nor contracted any of them. But anger towards Julia and her betrayal of him made him forget all that. He had wanted her for a long time, and waited patiently for his moment. This was it.
She was very still and watchful beneath him, as he eased himself away for just long enough to undress.
Julia gasped when she saw his naked body for the first time. He was stunningly fit; all broad muscles and dark, supple skin. His erection was enormous, and it scared the heck out of her, but she couldn’t look away. Her complete absorption earned a chuckle from Zayn, as he returned to lay on top of her. “That’s positive,” he drawled, “but there will be time for looking later. For now, I want you to feel.”
And he pressed his lips to hers, while his hands worked to free her from her dress. It was not easy, but somehow, he pulled it until she was exposed and naked beneath him. Later, Julia would discover that the dress had been ripped beyond repair but in that moment, she was aware of nothing but the feel of his hands on her skin, as he felt every inch of her. His tongue roamed where his hands had left off, and a fever pitch of need screamed inside her.
“Zayn,” she groaned, as the tip of his penis nudged at her core. She needed him, but she needed him to know that she was not experienced. Not in any way. She tried to focus her mind, but his teeth were grazing her nipple, making any thought or speech impossible. She lay back down against the soft mattress and surrendered to the wave of sensation that was roaring through her.
She wanted him, and he was glad. But he couldn’t get the pictures out of his mind. Photographs of her with her friend Andrew, when she had been committed to him, Zayn. He had sworn to himself that day that he would make her pay, but, in a moment of stark clarity, he realized this was not the way. His feelings were more complex than even he understood, but he knew that making love to her now was unforgivable. If he thought there was a chance that he might ever want a genuine relationship with this woman, he couldn’t expect her to be able to justify what he’d been intending to do.
He couldn’t expect her to forgive him for taking her body when he’d used money to buy it.
With an oath, he pulled away from her. She looked like he’d robbed her of something. Her face was a study of shocked disappointment as she registered that his body was no longer in contact with hers.
“What… what happened?” She asked, her eyes drawn of their own accord to his still taught body.
“I have never paid for sex. I realize now that it doesn’t appeal to me.” He turned away from her and walked across the floor, so that he could stare at the twinkling lights of the city below them.
Julia lay there, stunned, gaping up at the stars. It took several minutes for her body to start to feel even remotely normal. Tiny little fires of need were raging throughout and she had to wait for each and every one of them to extinguish. When she finally felt more or less like herself, she stood from the bed. With fingers that shook, she pulled her underpants on. With a frown, she scooped the dress up, but it was split at the seam, so all she could do was hold it against her chest.
“I don’t understand,” she said quietly, walking over to Zayn, though it took all her courage to do so after his swift removal.
When he turned to look at her, his face was cold, his eyes bleak. “Don’t you?”
She shook her head, and her hair caught the moonlight as it moved with her. “No. I thought you wanted me.” It hurt her to say it. After all, she’d promised herself that whatever else might happen between them, she would keep her pride intact. That she would not beg him for more than he wanted to give her.
“I thought I did, too.”
“Then … what happened?”
Insolently, he raked his gaze over her, taking in the swell of cleavage visible behind the dress she’d bundled against herself. He crossed the room and scooped his shirt off the floor and tossed it towards her. “Put this on.”
On autopilot, she did as he’d suggested and slid the shirt over her head. It came down to her mid-thighs and swallowed her with its size.
“Zayn? What happened?”
“I realized that a woman willing to lay down for money is cheap, no matter what the price.”
His words hurt so much he might as well have stabbed her. Tears stung her eyes and despite her determination not to degrade herself in front of him, she let them fall.
“How dare you?” She whispered, but instead of sounding angry, it came out as a sob.
“I dare because you’ve just demonstrated how lax your morals are. My God, to think I once believed I desired you.”
Julia’s cheeks glowed pink. If only he knew how morally intact she was. A few more seconds and he would have known.
“You did this,” she said stonily. “You put me in this position. What did you expect me to do?”
“Not to fall into my bed on the first night I suggested it.” He was handling everything terribly, and he knew it, but it was like a juggernaught he couldn’t stop. He had hurt her, and he was hurting her still. And the fact that he longed to pull her into his arms and apologize and kiss away her tears was making him angrier and somehow more determined to push her away.
“You’re one to talk! You must have slept your way through half of Europe by now, and yet you have the nerve to lecture me on my morals?”
“Yes. It’s a double standard. And one I’m happy to apply to my wife.”
“Well, we seem to be at an impasse,” she snapped. “We’re married but it doesn’t look like sex is on the table. That’s fine by me, by the way,” she lied, “but you’re the one who made a point of specifying that ours would be a ‘real’ marriage.”
“I didn’t understand then how much of a turn-off it would be, to have a woman willing to have sex for money, in my bed.” He shrugged.
Julia had been raised to have impeccable manners, but she swore at him then. It was one step away from what she really wanted to do, which was to punch him hard in the stomach. “You know you’re painting me in a bad light. I would never have sex for money. I don’t know why you’re reducing us to that equation, but it’s not fair.”
“It’s the truth, isn’t it? Would you have married me without the financial inducements?”
She would have. In a heartbeat. At least, she would have married the Zayn she’d known years earlier, who had dazzled her with his intelligence, power, and sexy sweetness. If he’d shown up, she wouldn’t have been able to resist him. But instead, this despot had arrived in his place. And though her lust was as unshakable as ever, she couldn’t let him know that money wasn’t really the reason she’d agreed to their marriage. It had affected her timeline, certainly, but there was no reality imaginable in which Julia would be able to resist Zayn.
She shook her head wistfully. “I guess we’ll never know.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I know. I’ve known women like you all my life. I just never thought I’d end up married to one.”
She lifted her eyes to his, confusion and sadness in her heart. “What are you saying?”
He was silent as he took in her ravaged face. “I’m saying… I’m going out. Don’t wait up.” He stormed away from her without a backwards glance. He was afraid that if he looked at her again, he’d weaken. And he couldn’t afford to be weak with this woman.
Chapter Seven
She didn’t know if he came back. He hadn’t had the courtesy to show her to her bedroom, and she couldn’t have borne sleeping on the roof, in the romantic matrah that smelled of him. And she had way too much pride to admit to a servant that she didn’t know where the hell her bedroom was. And so she’d slept in the first room she’d found. It was definitely not his room, going from the distinctly neutral décor and lack of possessions. A guest room, she supposed, and that suited her fine. There was no lingering Zayn-ness there to make her heart weep.
After the tumult of the previous week, and the upset of t
hat night, Julia had thought she would find sleep impossible, but it wasn’t. She was bone-weary, and almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell into a deep dreamless sleep. So deep that she wasn’t aware of Zayn opening the door somewhere before dawn. He stood and watched her silently. Watched as her chest rose and fell rhythmically; as the lighting outside changed and the skein of moonlight across her face gave way to an apricot and peach hue. He watched her and he wondered what the hell he was going to do with his beautiful prisoner.
He had worked for four years to get her into his home. Now he had her, and he didn’t know what to do with her. That night was the first time he realized something important. It was not worth having anything that wasn’t freely given. Their marriage wasn’t worth the paper it had been printed on. His victory was most definitely a hollow one.
Not by a flicker in his face did he betray his feelings later that day, when Julia came to his office. Per his instructions, her suitcases had been taken to her in the guest room she’d chosen the night before, and she was dressed in one of the outfits he’d given her before the wedding. He had selected premiere labels, and at the time, he’d sneered, because he had known Julia Cosgrove-Howard had been raised to want only the best in life. But seeing her in the pale pant suit now, he realized he’d also instinctively selected outfits that flattered her dainty proportions.
With a frown at the quick response of his body, and the way her appearance reminded him what her skin felt like beneath the clothes, he said, “Good morning, Julia. Can I help you with something?”
So formal; so polite, and yet there was hostility there too.
She would not let him intimidate her. After all, she’d walked into their marriage with her eyes open, and she wasn’t going to let him cower her.
Sheikhs: Rich, powerful desert kings and the women who bring them to their knees... Page 79
