Honor worked hard to keep their conversation focused on work and what they had to do tomorrow. They were both on the same page with their vision for the property, which made things a lot easier. She couldn’t help wondering if Keaton would have been so easy to work with. He had a habit of wanting to take the opposing side of any argument, whether he personally supported it or not. She’d always put that down to his stint on the college debate team and had frequently teased him about it, but in this situation it was definitely a whole lot less stressful to easily reach agreement on their objectives.
“We’re going to recommend Douglas make that offer, aren’t we?” Logan said after finishing the last of his beer.
“It would be foolish not to. Especially if he’s serious about expanding into repurposing versus demolition. To be honest, I’m surprised he was so open to the suggestion.”
“He’s a businessman. He can see that we can charge premium prices for both the commercial and the residential sides if we refurbish what’s already there.”
“That’s what you do in New Zealand, is it? Aim for the premium market?”
“Absolutely. There’s a huge demand for repurposing worldwide. Bigger and newer isn’t always better, and if we can reconstruct in an ecologically sustainable way, then all the better. Obviously I’d like to see more affordable housing for lower-income families, too, and we’re working on that back home.”
Their conversation expanded to the potential of green building practices, and Honor felt excited to be able to share her ideas with someone of a like mind. But all of a sudden, she caught herself yawning widely.
“Oh, heavens. I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”
“Not at all. You look tired, and I don’t mean that in an unkind way. We’ve had a full day and have another ahead of us tomorrow. Why don’t you go to the room? I’m going to sit back, have another beer and come up a bit later. Okay?”
She nodded and all but scurried from the bar. She’d wondered how they were going to manage the whole bedtime routine together, so his suggestion made everything much simpler. And, with any luck, she could even be fast asleep before he came back to the room.
* * *
Ten beers wouldn’t have been enough to dull his hunger for the woman he was about to sleep with—in the literal sense only, he reminded himself. She’d been so skittish today it had been all he could do not to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her soundly, just to get this crackling tension that bristled between them out of the air. But he’d promised her and, even more importantly, he’d promised his brother that there was nothing to worry about between them. And nothing meant exactly that.
No sweet taste of her lips. No swallowing the sighs and moans she made as he touched her delectable body. And certainly no losing himself in the slick heat of her as he had when they’d made love.
Damn. And now he had a hard-on.
At least she’d be asleep when he got to the room. He’d waited in the bar long enough. Weariness pulled at every muscle in his body. He’d never understood how much strain it could put a person under to be with someone and yet try not to be with them at the same time. It was the kind of game he’d never wanted to play—never had to, to be honest. But he was a man of his word. He was not going to touch her, no matter how much he craved her.
It was dark in the room when he let himself in. Honor had left the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar, though, so he wasn’t entirely blind when he entered. He went to the bathroom and got ready for bed, realizing too late that he’d brought no pajamas. He’d have to sleep in his boxer briefs—and hopefully keep some measure of circumspection between him and Honor.
She moaned slightly as he slipped beneath the sheets. He stretched out one foot, tentatively seeking to discover if she’d put some kind of barrier between them and smiled as his foot touched what was very obviously a rolled-up towel down the middle of the bed. He pulled back, closed his eyes and lay on his back, willing himself to sleep.
Of course, it was impossible. Instead he lay there, listening to Honor’s breathing, feeling the warmth that poured off her body as she slept. Slept, yes, but not peacefully. Every now and then she made a sound of distress, as if she was caught in a bad dream and couldn’t verbalize what it was that she needed to say. The noises that came from her were indistinct but clearly unhappy. And then she twitched. An almighty jerk that yanked the covers from him as she burrowed deeper into her side of the bed, still making those noises.
“Honor?” he said gently.
He couldn’t just lie here and do nothing. She was obviously upset. Maybe because he was here, but maybe because of something else. Whatever it was, he had the power to wake her and release her from the grip of whatever it was that distressed her. He reached a hand over to touch her lightly on the shoulder and called her name again.
“Honor!” he said more loudly. “Everything’s okay. It’s just a dream.”
She mumbled something that sounded like “no.” He could feel her thrashing her head from side to side. This obviously called for more direct contact. He reached out again, this time taking a firm hold on her shoulder, giving her a slight shake and repeating what he’d just said.
He knew the exact moment she was awake from the way her breathing went from rapid and shallow to a sharp gasp followed immediately by a deep sigh. She reached for him, burrowed in tight to his chest as if seeking comfort. Without thinking, Logan wrapped her in his arms and held her tight. Her shoulders shook and he could feel moisture on his bare chest. She was crying? Hell. What kind of dream had it been?
He stroked her hair, her shoulders, her back. Anything to try and soothe away whatever had driven her to this point. And she held on to him tighter than before. Even with that damned rolled-up towel there, he couldn’t help his physical reaction. No matter which way he turned, he wanted her, but he knew that it was inappropriate now. Hell, it was inappropriate, period. She was engaged to his brother. He didn’t care about the fact that she and Keaton hadn’t been intimate in months. It was none of his business. She was none of his business. And yet, here she was, in his arms.
And then she kissed him.
Nine
Honor breathed in the scent of Logan’s skin, telling herself it was purely to soothe her fractured senses, but somehow even her brain wouldn’t accept that truth. Not when her blood pounded through her veins at the nearness of him. Not when his every breath made her breasts press against his chest with enough delicious pressure to make her nipples harden into tight points.
The dream had been a repeat of so many she’d had. Its roots were burrowed deep in her childhood memories and the sense of abandonment she’d always felt even though her mom had never physically left her. Well, not for more than three days at a time, anyway. But she wasn’t going to go there again. It was beyond time to put the past to rest, but whenever she was stressed, the old loneliness and fear came surging back, forcing her to seek distraction.
She poured everything she had into that kiss. Everything she’d ever wanted to be. Everything she’d lost. And she had lost. She knew now there was no going back. Doing this, with Logan, meant she was closing a door forever on a future with Keaton.
It was a conscious choice and one she should have made after she’d discovered who Logan Parker was. Whether they went anywhere from here was something she wouldn’t think about tonight.
Honor yanked the towel out from between them and slipped one hand over his hip, her palm skimming against the waistband of his briefs and lower to his thigh. No matter what she told herself, it all kept coming back to the same thing. She wanted him. Right here, right now. And more than that she wanted the escape that losing herself in him and the pleasure that she knew they’d find together would bring.
She let her hand slide upward to his chest, feeling his nipples tighten into hard discs before she skimmed her hand down over the taut muscles of his belly and back down to the
waistband of his boxers. His hand caught hers, holding her firmly by the wrist and preventing her from reaching her goal as he pulled away from her kiss.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.
She answered without allowing herself to think. “Yes.”
She kissed him again and felt his grip on her hand loosen, allowing her to continue to touch, to explore. He was hard and hot and so ready she couldn’t help the groan of need that came from deep inside her as her fingers closed around him. They’d gone past the point of no return. She needed to be with him just as she needed to breathe. It was instinctual. It was necessary.
His lips and tongue met hers in a fierce duel. The ache at her core became an insistent thrum, demanding she possess him in the most literal sense humanly possible, but now that they’d embarked on this path, she wanted to make it last as long as possible. The first time they’d made love, he’d taken control. Now it was her turn, and she wanted to make the most of it.
Heat poured off his body and she straddled him, lifting off her nightgown and tossing it to the floor beside them. She wanted that heat, craved it, craved him. Inside her, around her, everywhere.
Honor couldn’t get enough of the taste of him, let alone the feel of the texture of his skin against her fingertips, her palms. She tugged at his briefs, freed his straining erection and positioned herself to take him into her body. His hands clamped on her hips, holding her in place.
“Protection,” he grunted.
“I’m covered,” she said.
He groaned as she began to lower onto him, letting her take him inside her at her own pace—slow and steady and with a determination she’d never been so certain of in all her life.
This was what she wanted. No, needed. Sensation, pleasure, distraction. No more was she the frightened little girl, or the desperate teen, or the insecure young woman. This—taking power and using it—was what she needed more than anything. And as her body adjusted to his, the ripples of pleasure were already forming. She started to move, at first slowly and then with an increasing frenzy as she reached for completion. Beneath her Logan met her every thrust with one of his own as he reached up to cup her breasts, to tease her rigid nipples and squeeze and mold the soft, full flesh.
“Let go,” he urged in a harsh whisper. “Take us both over.”
His words were her undoing. She let out a small scream as she relinquished her control over the sensations that had built behind an invisible wall of restraint. There was no more holding back as her climax bloomed from deep inside her. She was vaguely aware of Logan reaching his own, felt his body stiffen and surge and surge again as he came deep inside her. She collapsed onto his chest, both of them slick with perspiration, their breathing heavy, their hearts hammering in their chests.
She lay there hardly believing what she’d just done, exhaustion pulling at every sated muscle. Logan’s hand stroked her back, up and down and again, until she felt his body grow slack as he drifted off to sleep. She slid from him and back to her side of the bed, waiting until his breathing was deep and steady before she rose and went to the bathroom, collecting her discarded nightgown on the way.
In the harsh light of the bathroom, she stared at her reflection. Guilt sliced painfully through her. Her gaze dropped to the ring she still wore on her finger, and she tugged it off and slipped it in her toilet bag. She could never wear it again. She would return it to Keaton as soon as she saw him next, along with informing him of her decision that things between them were well and truly over. She’d known it, deep inside, when he’d requested the break, but it hadn’t been until she’d woken and reached for Logan that she’d finally accepted it for the truth.
She lifted her eyes to study her face again in the mirror and saw much there to disappoint her. She had the same eyes as her mom, the same shape to her face. The same hair color, even. And the same morals, she thought with a sharp pain in her chest. She really was no different than her mother after all. Ready to throw everything away for a fling with another man and damn the consequences.
Honor quickly washed herself and yanked her nightgown back on before switching off the light and going back to bed. As soon as she was beneath the covers, Logan’s arm curled around her waist and pulled her to him. He muttered something in his sleep before settling back into the deep, regular breathing of before. And Honor lay there, taking scant comfort from his presence, unable to sleep as she visualized her entire world disintegrating around her.
* * *
As soon as the gray light of dawn began to peep through the windows, Honor bolted from the bed and, grabbing her clothes, went to the bathroom to armor up. She must have had some sleep, she reasoned as she regarded herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, but not enough to ensure she didn’t have deep shadows under her eyes this morning. By the time she’d showered and dressed and returned to the bedroom, Logan was very much awake.
“That your version of the walk of shame?” he challenged, propped up on his pillows with his hands tucked behind his head.
“Bathroom’s all yours,” she said, ignoring the expanse of bare chest and the question in his eyes, and went to pack her toilet bag and nightgown into her case.
“You’re going to ignore what happened between us last night?”
“Why not? Worked last time,” she said with fake insouciance.
She saw anger flare in his eyes.
“So that’s all I am. A convenient scratching post? We’re just going to go back to Seattle today and pretend nothing has happened and you’re going to carry on with my brother like last time?”
There was a note of something else in his voice that hadn’t been there before. She sighed and turned to face him.
“Keaton and I are on a break, mutually agreed,” she said, but before she could continue, he interrupted.
“So what the hell does that mean? You’re both free to screw around?”
She flinched at his blunt turn of phrase. He had every right to be angry. She’d messed this up just like she’d messed everything else up along with it.
“No, it doesn’t mean that at all. On Sunday night we agreed to take a break, but when he gets back from his current trip, I’m going to break off our engagement. Obviously, it can’t continue. I should have done it immediately after our first night together. What Keaton and I have isn’t what he deserves. I’m not what he deserves.”
“Nor I, apparently. I’m still finding my way with my family. This is going to blow everything apart.”
“Why? No one needs to know.”
“Seriously? We have sex twice—mind-blowing, soul-searing sex—and you want to pretend it never happened?” He pushed aside the bedcovers and rose from the bed, taking two steps toward her before making a sound of self-disgust and heading for the bathroom.
“Logan, stop.”
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
Honor took a deep breath. “We can’t see one another outside of work. I can’t do that to Keaton on top of breaking things off between us.”
“But sleeping with me is okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.” To her horror her eyes filled with tears. “Please, don’t say anything about us.”
He laughed, and it was a harsh sound. “Oh, don’t worry. I got the message. Loud and clear. You’re quite safe from me.”
The bathroom door closed behind him with a loud snick. Honor took advantage of his absence to finish her packing and, after scrawling a short note to say she’d wait downstairs, she all but ran from the room.
All the way downstairs to the lobby she castigated herself. Why couldn’t she have felt the same way about Keaton as she did for Logan? She’d had her life mapped out. Her future secured. Everything she’d ever wanted had been right there, within her grasp. And she’d messed it up. Two years she’d invested in her relationship with Keaton. Two years of planning togethe
r for the life they’d lead. Two years irrevocably down the drain. Her thumb went to the ring finger of her left hand and she felt a jolt of loss when she remembered her engagement ring wasn’t there and why.
She was her mother’s daughter, no matter which way she looked at it, and the painful truth cut deep.
* * *
Honor counted the days until Keaton’s return. They’d spoken on the phone a couple of times, but the impending breakup discussion was not the kind of thing you did on the phone. They’d made promises to each other. He deserved her honesty face-to-face. She’d mentioned the trip she and Logan had taken to Portland, mainly because she had a suspicion that Douglas’s assistant might let that little gem slip if she was talking to Keaton. The woman was superefficient but garrulous.
Keaton had expressed some shock that she and Logan had been put up in one room after a mix-up, but Honor had impressed on him that it had been a genuine error on Stella’s part and that Logan had been a complete gentleman. What she didn’t tell him was that she hadn’t been a lady. That discussion would have to wait until Keaton’s return, and thinking about it had her tied up in knots.
Keaton was due back in the office today, and she’d hoped to see him in private before they came face-to-face in the latest family meeting called by Douglas, but she hadn’t been able to catch him. Their talk would clearly have to wait, she thought as she walked to Douglas’s office for the urgently called meeting.
While Douglas and Nancy hadn’t arrived yet, Logan was already there. Not surprising, she thought, as the man was nothing if not punctual. No, she was being unkind. He was everything and punctual with it. She felt the all-too-familiar shock of awareness ripple through her as she saw him standing by one of the large picture windows looking out over the water. And yet again, she wondered why she had never felt this way about Keaton. They were essentially peas in a pod to look at, with the minor exception of Logan having a small chicken pox scar above his right eyebrow. The fact that she’d been close enough to notice and remembered that small detail was another black mark against her.
Seducing the Lost Heir--A wrong brother romance Page 9
