Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens

by steve higgs

  ‘Thanks, Frank.’ I read the article, then absent-mindedly handed the iPad back to him, I was lost in thought.

  ‘You’re quite welcome.’

  A new question occurred to me, ‘Frank, what do you think is happening at the farm?’

  He rubbed his hands together. ‘I thought you'd never ask. Initially, when I read the first article, I assumed it was another attempt to seed the human race with new alien genetic code. The point being to cause undetectable birth abnormalities in infants that will allow the aliens to control the next generation. They have tried this before with several different food substances but always something that is eaten by a vast majority of the planet like eggs or corn. There was a mass attack on eggs in the eighties. BARF was able to deflect it without causing mass panic by having a politician publicly state that eggs had salmonella in them. It was a close call though. This one seems to have been a misfire as the tampering is so easy to see. When the lights were reported though, my opinion changed to that of several leading theorists who believe we are on the cusp of a new era of human-alien cooperation. They are monitoring us as we monitor them. BARF believe an invasion is imminent, but it is more likely that their intentions are benign, peaceful.'

  ‘Given our mineral wealth, it is fair to assume they would want to exchange technology for resources. They could fight us for it, but why do that if it can be obtained without conflict and loss of life on both sides? However, the video footage that Jack Hammer obtained of the alien spacecraft suggests otherwise.'

  ‘How so?’ I asked the question even though I was convinced the man was babbling utter rubbish.

  ‘It was an attack craft. Frank said, knowingly. ‘No reconnaissance vessel would carry that much weaponry. Added to that, the death at Larson Farm was clearly the work of extra-terrestrial technology. We don’t have the ability to make a freeze ray. All our weapons maim and destroy. The being that used it probably comes from an alien society that has greater respect for the dead and developed weapons that would kill, but leave the body whole for burial.'

  I nodded my head because I had no idea how to respond to anything Frank said. To me, he seemed completely rational and at the same time utterly mental.

  Donuts. Friday, November 11th 1647hrs

  Patience finished up chatting with Poison. She would not shift from her story that she had been out fighting dark creatures or something equally bizarre. I was ready to go and watching the clock because we still needed to get donuts and get across to Maidstone station to catch the crime lab guys before they left.

  When Patience realised I was waiting for her, she gave up trying to get the truth from Poison, wished her luck and roughly shoved me out the door.

  I waved goodbye to Frank as the door swung shut behind us. Then we were back out in the cool November air a few seconds later.

  There was a storm brewing off in the distance. The dark sky was punctuated by flashes of lightning in the distance. The rumbles of thunder were too distant for us to hear as we hurried along the High Street. There was rain in the air, the fine misty stuff that sticks to your clothes and soaks you even though it looks like nothing.

  Mr. Morello's Royal Cake Shoppe was at the Chatham end of Rochester High Street where it was sandwiched between a butcher's shop and a pub. It was closing in little more than ten minutes, so we needed to hurry.

  Patience, who was never one to move fast when she didn't have to, was all but running to get to our destination for fear they might decide to close early for once. As the storefront came into view, we could see the shop assistants beginning to clear the shelves in the front window.

  ‘Aaaaargh!’ Patience abandoned me because I wasn’t moving fast enough and ran at the door with both hands out. A startled-looking assistant, who was about to lock the door, backed away in fear as the crazy woman barrelled into the shop.

  By the time I strolled in, three seconds later, she was already instructing them to get a box ready for donuts.

  ‘You know these are not for us, right?’ I reminded her.

  She had been bent over, scrutinising the donut selection but stood up to stare at me, surprise on her face. ‘Well, sure. They are for the crime lab guys.’ She had a faraway look like she was doing math in her head. ‘They won’t want them all though, will they?’

  ‘I am taking them donuts. A full box of donuts because they are doing me massive favours for no cost. So, no, we are not going to eat their donuts. We will be delivering a full dozen.’

  She scowled at me and turned back to the girl behind the counter. ‘We’ll take the dozen, thank you. And I will have three for myself.’ She glanced over her shoulder to scowl at me again. Just in case I didn’t get the message, she poked out her tongue.

  With a dozen mixed wonderful balls of calorie-heavy goodness in my hands and a slow-moving black woman dragging along behind me, I made my way back to my car.

  Patience had eaten all three donuts by the time we got there.

  Key Evidence. Friday, November 11th 1717hrs

  Patience used her card to bleep us into the station. It was the first time I had been back since my run in with CI Quinn more than a week ago. It seemed much longer than that as if time moved faster now that I was out of the Service. I prayed I wouldn’t run into him today.

  Even though I was being escorted by Patience and had every right to be there, I felt like I was trespassing. My steps were fast as I hurried to the crime lab where I could shut the door. It was only a short journey from the entrance to the lab and we only saw a couple of people on the way. They didn’t comment on my presence, though my paranoia told me they were running directly to Quinn’s office to tell him I was back.

  Behind me, I heard a rustling noise. I spun my head to make sure that Patience wasn't eating the donuts. She had held them in the car because I was driving and insisted she could be trusted to carry them from the car to the lab.

  Patience looked at me with an innocent expression. The lid of the box was closed. ‘Did you just take a bite of donut and close the lid again?’ I asked as I eyed her suspiciously.

  ‘Of course not. These are for the crime lab chaps.’ She lied.

  ‘So, if I open the box, I won’t find a biscotti cream filled donut with a bite mark in it?’

  ‘Nope.’ She grinned.

  I pushed open the door to the crime lab and stepped inside. Both the chaps were busy doing something scientific. Simon had his face to a microscope while Steven was fiddling with a test tube.

  ‘Hi, guys. I have a dozen scrumptious donuts.’

  Patience mumbled something behind me that sounded a lot like eleven.

  They both stopped what they were doing to scamper over to the donut box Patience was holding. They snagged one each and Patience put the box down on a table, steadfastly making a point of not taking one for herself. I would point out later that she had a big blob of donut cream on her chin from the one she had scoffed on her way through the station.

  ‘You always bring us the weirdest stuff, Amanda.’ Simon said around a mouthful of donut. ‘Not the donuts. I don’t mean them. I mean the evidence you found.’

  ‘Yeah, it is a strange collection.’ Added Steven.

  I didn’t argue. ‘So, what is it? What did I actually find?’

  Simon reached under a bench to retrieve a box. In it were a test tube that looked to have muddy water inside, the odd metal object which now had a piece missing from it and a ream of paper that looked to have graphs and data on.

  ‘Where’s the milk?’ I asked.

  ‘In the fridge.’ Simon replied, his voice making it sound like I had asked a daft question. ‘Which bit first?’

  ‘The soil?’

  ‘There is nothing special or interesting about the soil itself. PH level within tolerance for the area, traces of animal and vegetable matter – exactly what one might expect to find. The odd element was indeed paraffin that had been ignited. You described burnt circular marks on the grass? Well, they were made using something that burned paraff
in as a fuel. That’s about as much as I can tell from the sample you gave us.’

  ‘Although.’ Steven interrupted.

  Simon stared at him for a moment. ‘Oh yes. There was a surprising amount of methane in the soil.’

  ‘Methane? Okay, so what does that mean?’

  ‘Typically, that concentration of methane combined with some of the other minerals found such as hydrogen-sulphide and nitrogen would only be found at a site where there was natural gas.'

  Okay. I wasn’t sure what that told me. However, I would research both natural gas and paraffin later and was expecting to find neither was a likely fuel for space travel.

  Steven reached into the box to retrieve the metal object. ‘This is a magnesium chrome alloy. Nothing particularly unusual about it, billions of components are made from it every year. I haven't been able to trace what it came from, but the lightness and rigidity of it makes its use in the aircraft industry common.'

  ‘Aircraft industry.’ I repeated. I was making mental notes.

  ‘Or it might find a use in anything that was manufactured to be lightweight. Something that needed to be man-portable for instance.'

  Simon left his place next to Steven, crossed to a refrigerator against the wall behind us and took out my bottle of still glowing milk.

  ‘I would not drink that.’ Said Patience.

  ‘In actual fact, you could.' Remarked Simon. ‘It is quite harmless.' To prove his point, he took a sip. ‘It does have a slight metallic taste though.' He joined us back at the table and placed the milk down between everyone.

  We all stared at it.

  ‘This one stumped us for a while I don't mind admitting.' Simon picked up one of the computer printouts in the box to read from it. ‘The luminosity is provided by a concentrated extract from the bioluminescent pigment produced by a cuttlefish.'

  I took that in. ‘How did it get in the cows?’

  Simon shrugged but provided an answer anyway. ‘Probably ingestion. Bioluminescence is used in medicine all the time. The patient takes a pill and the only side effect is odd coloured pee for about a day. It would almost certainly also affect the blood if one were to check it and definitely milk production but that wouldn't be listed as a side-effect because it would never be administered to a pregnant woman.'

  Patience wasn’t convinced. ‘What do doctors do with it once it is in a person?’

  ‘Steven, would you like to field this one?' Simon deferred to his partner.

  Steven cleared his throat. ‘There is an opportunity to identify diseased tissue both by the spectral signals from activators or, in some cases, by the differences of the natural luminescence responses. For practical reasons, defined by the sensitivity range of standard luminescence detectors, much of the current medicinal work has focused on the short wavelength emissions driven by laser activation. However, I believe the techniques employed are poised to undergo a dramatic expansion in scope with the advent of higher sensitivity photocathodes with high-efficiency responses at long wavelengths. It will soon be possible to utilize a greater range of emission features. In recent examples there has been success with the detection of cancer, identifying tooth cavities and the suggestion that the non-destructive luminescence probes can distinguish between tissue changes at a very early stage of development.' He checked our faces to see if we had been able to keep up.

  The only problem with talking to Simon and Steven was that they made me feel dumb.

  Patience said. ‘Oh. Okay.’ As if she had understood any of it.

  Regardless of the science behind it, someone was getting hold of medical supplies and doing so in enough quantities to dope a herd of cows. I did a mental high five to myself.

  I had solved the case.

  Well, sort of. Knowing how it was being done didn’t tell me who was doing it and why. I needed to work that bit out still but it felt like a victory anyway, even if just a small one. I was breaking the case down into manageable chunks. There had to be a connection here with Tamara since she worked in the pharmaceutical industry and was now dead. Had she been knowingly supplying the drugs? Or had she been killed because she caught the person that was taking them to use on the cows? Whichever it was, I had just taken a leap forward.

  ‘Anything else?’ I asked.

  Both men looked at each other. ‘I don’t think so.’ Offered Simon. ‘Do you want the evidence?’ he asked, holding the box up for me to take.

  I didn’t, but I doubted they did either so I took it gratefully and thanked them again.

  As we headed to the door, Patience made a big show of having forgotten to pick up her phone. She rushed back to where it was sitting on the table conveniently next to the box of donuts and accidentally snagged another treat from the box.

  ‘I skipped lunch.’ She explained to the guys as she shoved the donut into her mouth. ‘I need the energy.’

  Brett Visits. Friday, November 11th 1900hrs

  I didn’t want Patience eating the donut in my car because I knew she would spill crumbs and sticky pieces, so she stuffed the whole thing into her face in one go. Then she sat in my passenger seat struggling to chew it. I think we were both relieved when she finally swallowed.

  I dropped her off at home with a promise to see her at the bar opposite the club at eight o’clock the next night. All the girls were meeting there for cocktails and a catch up first. It would be too noisy to talk properly in the club.

  I had come through my door a few minutes after six with a deep need to get a lot done in a short space of time. I had stopped at the metro supermarket around the corner to grab wine. I knew I was only buying cheap stuff compared to what Brett might turn up with but didn’t want to fall into the trap of assuming he would provide the wine, especially after his comment about paying my bills for me.

  Now home, I had to quickly tidy the place, get a shower and make myself sexy. Patience had all kinds of advice on the subject, but I was going to do things my way and not put on the nurse outfit she had offered to loan me.

  I was hungry to the point that if I didn’t eat something, we would be disturbed by my belly grumbling. However, I wanted to order take out to be delivered so couldn’t spoil my appetite by eating now either. I settled for an apple and a pint of water which I devoured while I put magazines back under my coffee table and polished the coffee rings from my coasters.

  I checked my watch again and set the shower to run while I went into my bedroom to get undressed. Patience thinks I am prudish because I don’t want to talk openly about sex and about what I like to do. I’m not though. I think I am sexually aggressive once I am comfortable with a man and I know how to misbehave. As I put my clothes into the laundry basket, I opened my underwear drawer to select what I was planning to answer the door in.

  I don’t spend much on underwear, but I have some tasteful pieces. The question in my head was whether Brett would prefer a negligee with heels or a bra, thong, suspenders combination with stockings and heels. The extra height from the heels would make it fun for doing things standing up as I would be a better height for him.

  I left my options on the bed and went for a shower where I used a fresh razor to take care of fine detail and employed an abundant amount of shampoo and conditioner to calm my paranoia over the smell of cow dung. I had been walking around in it for half the day and was convinced the scent had penetrated my hair.

  By a minute to seven according to the clock on my oven, I was sipping a glass of cold, white wine and just starting to feel the cool air as I was standing around in my underwear. I had gone with the negligee option as it fell to my upper thighs and meant I could dispense with knickers which I was sure would have been off me in moments anyway. I clomped across the kitchen area tile in my heels which echoed in the quiet. It was too quiet I decided.

  A knock at my door startled me even though it was the only thing I was waiting for. Quickly, I grabbed the remote for my speaker, found some relaxing music and went to the door.

  ‘Hey, sexy.’ I purred b
reathlessly as I opened the door.

  ‘Wow.’ Said Jack Hammer.

  OMFG!

  I slammed the door shut, caught my breath and opened it again. ‘What the Eff are you doing here?’ I asked through a tiny crack, so I could hide myself behind the door.

  ‘I wanted to invite you along to the show tonight. It is going to be mega!’ He was bursting with excitement. ‘Get dressed, I can wait. Or, you know, you could come as you are. It wouldn’t do the ratings any harm.’

  I squinted my eyes at his suggestion. ‘I have a date tonight.’

  ‘I could have guessed that.’

  ‘Go away, Jack.’

  ‘What about the show.’

  ‘GO AWAY.’

  I could hear someone coming up the stairs toward us. The next moment, Brett rounded the corner and his head came into view as he jogged up the last flight to reach my floor.

  Jack turned to see who it was, then looked back at me.

  ‘NOW.’ I hissed.

  ‘Will you come on the show if I do?’

  ‘If you don’t go away, I will remove your nuts and make you eat them.’ I was practically vibrating with a need to choke the life out of him.

  As Brett approached, Jack held up his hands in supplication. ‘You sure know how to negotiate.’ I flared my eye at him. ‘See you tomorrow?’ He asked.

  I opened the door and mimed ripping his nuts off, aggravation driving me to expose myself. The annoying man danced back a pace, threw me a final smile and swept down the stairs, dodging Brett as he went.

  ‘Who was that?’ Brett asked as he reached the landing.

  I took a pace forward to grab his jacket and pull him into my apartment. ‘No one of consequence.’ My plan to open the door and take his breath away had been ruined, but I could make up for it now.

  As I pushed the door closed, I grabbed the bottom of my negligee and pulled it over my head. As my blonde hair settled back on my shoulders, Brett gawped at me. I was wearing a pair of heels and nothing else. My nipples would have been hard against the cold, but all my thoughts were on what he had inside his pants, so they were erect anyway.