I stepped onto the sidewalk and took a deep breath. It was twenty minutes later and we were just arriving to the Yule Ball. We were late but Gigi insisted only by a few minutes. My heart was pounding like a woodpecker. I turned to face my two friends and nerves tightened all of my muscles.
They looked amazing.
I hadn’t gotten a good look at Savannah’s outfit before, but I did now. It was incredible. The dress was slinky and sexy, made of dark blue velvet that accentuated her blue eyes and turquoise-tipped hair. The front was low enough to show just enough cleavage but there wasn’t a back at all. The material swooped down and fell at the small of her back. It was held on by thin silver chains. The dress only reached her knees, so her chunky black boots that laced up the front and had a thick square heel were on perfect display. Her tattoos were also all on display and I suddenly envied them.
Savannah frowned. “What’s wrong?”
I ran my hands over my dress self-consciously. “Are you sure I look okay? My dress is nothing like yours—”
“That’s kind of the point, Safferella.” Savannah giggled and fixed my hair. “You can’t properly torture Riah if you look like everyone else.”
They laughed and led us up the steps into the school auditorium where the Ball was being held. My mind was such a blur of questions and uncertainties about everything that’d been going on that I hadn’t noticed we’d arrived until golden lights flashed around me.
I gasped and pulled my hands into my chest – but it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my magic. The hallway was lined with little lights that twinkled as you moved under them. They reminded me of fairyflies. Someone moved in front of me so I jumped back – and my jaw dropped. The girl staring back at me took my breath away.
Her gown was a deep violet, the material a soft chiffon that flowed with each step she took. It was made to look like she’d draped the material over her body, effortless and whimsical. It cinched at her tiny waist then flowed out around her like she was flying. There were two slits that cut all the way up to the tops of her thighs, so each step she took made her whole bare leg pop out. Her heels had thin gold straps that wrapped around her ankle and coiled all the way up to her knees. The top of her dress was cut so low she was practically falling out of it. If she’d had more cleavage, it would have been indecent.
This girl was fearless. She was strong and tough. She could handle anything. The dark makeup around her eyes made her look fierce and dangerous. She looked like the kind of girl who fought demons in dark alleys and had weapons hidden tucked away in secret places – like in a magical bracelet.
She looked nothing like me at all.
Except she was me.
The walls of the hallway were lined with vintage mirrors. This was my reflection.
That’s me? I blinked and ran my fingers through my wavy red hair – and my reflection did the same. That’s me. My pulse quickened and adrenaline rushed through my veins. That’s ME. I felt like I was seeing myself for the first time.
“Safferella?”
“What?” I spun and found my friends waiting for me. “Oh. Sorry.”
I hurried over to them and they smiled. Together, we turned and walked through the grand doorway and into the Yule Ball. My eyes widened. It was magical. The inside was decorated to look like a snow-covered forest. There were leafless trees and logs everywhere. Pine trees lined the walls. Fake snow fell from the ceiling in front of us. Those twinkling gold lights were everywhere. Candles with little flames floated in glass bowls of water on the tables.
I still wasn’t fully sure what Yule even was but this was magical.
In the middle of the grand ballroom was a dance floor filled with students already dancing the night away.
Gigi gasped. “Oh my God! LOOK!”
We looked up just as a little flying contraption hovered over our heads carrying an interesting green vine and a red bow. I frowned. It looked familiar. I knew what that was. I gasped. “Mistletoe!”
Savannah threw her head back and laughed. “Goddess almighty, they attached mistletoe to the damn drone? That’s brilliant and wrong. I love it.”
Mistletoe. I grinned just because I was happy to have remembered it. I couldn’t remember the why, I just knew that when two people were under mistletoe they were supposed to kiss or receive bad luck.
I hated that my thoughts went immediately to Riah.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Savannah’s chuckle turned a little evil. She hooked her arm around mine. “Let’s go dance and lure that boy out from whichever shadow he’s watching you from.”
I chuckled and let her drag me onto the dance floor. The music was so loud that the floor vibrated under our feet, but it sent energy coursing through my body. The song blaring through the speakers ended and rolled to the next. My eyes widened as I recognized it as Ariana Grande from Gigi’s playlist. We charged into the middle of the dance floor and went right for it.
Something about music made me feel alive more than anything else. The beats. The rhythm. The melody. It just made my body sing with energy. I felt light on my feet, almost like I could fly.
We laughed and danced together, twirling around and moving to the beat song after song.
But I hadn’t seen even a single glimpse of Riah. I hated that I noticed. I hated that I cared. I hated that I couldn’t push him out of my mind to have fun with my friends. I hated the effect he had on me. I hated that I looked for him in every tall person that passed into my view. I hated that I had to find him.
“Saff?” Gigi yelled over the music. “You okay?”
I fanned myself to try and cool down. Sweat beaded down the back of my neck and dripped down my spine. My throat was dry and parched. “I’m going to get a drink.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll come with you.”
“No, it’s okay. Stay. Dance.” I smiled and waved her off. She was having too much fun. “I just need a breather. Be right back.”
She nodded. “Okay, but if you’re not back in ten minutes, we’re coming looking.”
I laughed and gave her a thumbs-up. I didn’t doubt her promise. It actually made me happy that they cared so much. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I was just getting a drink. I turned and moved my way through the crowded dance floor.
On the far wall, nestled between snow-covered pine trees was a long table that held snacks and drinks. I beelined for the side with drinks, careful to weave around the students hanging around. When I got over there I found three large glass bowls full of red liquid and stacks of red plastic cups. I frowned. There were no signs or labels, nothing to tell me what the drinks were. I went for the closest one, using the big spoon to pour juice into a cup. Red could be cherry? Or strawberry? Unless it’s just colored water? I bit my bottom lip and then lifted the cup to my nose and sniffed.
There was a bold, sweet cherry scent but all I noticed was the burning ember smell. I froze. I knew that smell. Heat brushed over my back. My pulse quickened. I licked my lips and sat the cup down on the table. I took a deep breath, then slowly turned.
It didn’t matter how many times I saw him, my breath still left me in a rush.
Riah.
He stood right behind me, close enough to touch. His pale blond hair was half tied up with the rest hanging down his back. My chest burned and I reminded myself to breathe. But it wasn’t my fault. He’d cleaned up nice. He wore a black cashmere sweater that hugged the muscles in his shoulders and arms, fitting deliciously snug to his body. His pants were black but definitely not denim. He’d even swapped out his boots for shiny dress shoes. I hadn’t expected him to wear a suit like the other boys, but he looked better than all of them combined.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Riah.” I hated the way my voice sounded all breathy and winded. I didn’t like him hearing the effect he had on me.
His golden eyes slid down the length of my body, then crawled back up in no rush. He took his time, really taking in every part of my outfit. When h
is golden eyes finally met mine there was no blush in his cheeks. He felt no shame. His eyes flashed and his lips curved up on one side. “Saraphina.”
Damn it. Stop doing this to me. I can’t take it.
“You look…” he took a step forward until there was only a foot between us. “Lethal.”
“Aren’t lethal and dangerous the same thing?” I grinned and narrowed my eyes at him. “How am I killing men today?”
His smirk turned crooked and wicked. He chuckled and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. “Slowly, carefully…intentionally. Like you’re enjoying it.”
My face warmed. My heart fluttered. I closed the distance between us. He reached up and tucked a strand of my hair behind me ear. My pulse thundered so loud in my body I couldn’t hear anything else.
Then he froze with his fingers in my hair behind my ear…he looked up.
I frowned and followed his gaze – my stomach dropped. That drone carrying the mistletoe hovered over our heads. The green mistletoe with the red bow stuck out amid the golden lights and white décor. There was no missing it. That thumping sound I’d thought was my heart was really the wings of the drone.
He looked down and his eyes found mine again. I licked my lips and tried to rein in my runaway heart. He ran his fingertips down my jaw then pressed them under my chin and tilted my head back. My mouth parted. I watched in agonizing slow motion as he stared at my mouth and slowly lowered his lips to mine.
His lips brushed over mine softly and then a wave of cold air slammed into my face. I gasped and my eyes flew open. Riah was a few feet away…glaring at my mouth. He growled then spun and stormed away.
“What?” I groaned and balled my hands into fists. “Why does he keep doing that?”
I watched his blond head slip between the crowd and out the side door. He was running from me. Again. I was sick of it. He was driving me insane. I caught my reflection in the mirror on the wall and fire bloomed in my gut. The girl in the mirror was strong and fierce. I am strong. I am fierce.
Before I could stop myself, I charged after him. The crowd paid me no attention as I weaved around them. I pushed the door open and a wall of ice-cold air slammed into me. I hissed and paused on the threshold. Snow fell from the sky. I was sleeveless and in sandals, I was not dressed for winter.
But I wasn’t letting him run away from me again.
I leapt through the door and chased after him. His legs were so long that I had to jog to catch up. When I finally did, we were under a canopy of oak tree branches with strings of white lights on every branch. I grabbed his arm and pulled.
He stopped and spun on me faster than I expected. I gasped but didn’t step back. He didn’t fear me. He wouldn’t hurt me…even as he aimed daggers with his eyes at me. I blinked up at him as the white lights made it look like it was raining glitter.
“Go inside,” he hissed. “You’ll freeze.”
“I’m not letting you run from me again.”
He sighed and started to turn but I gripped his sleeve tight. “Saraphina.”
I pulled his sleeve to drag him closer but instead my feet slid over the snow. I glared up at him. “Stop. Running.”
“I said—”
“Nothing,” I snapped. “You said nothing. I want answers, Riah. I deserve answers. If you can kiss me then you can talk to me.”
He narrowed his golden eyes. “What is it you want to know?”
Everything. I tasted snow and Riah on my lips. “What are you? And don’t say human because we both know that’s not true.”
He looked away from me. “I am a knight. A guardian.”
“That tells me nothing.”
“That tells you everything.”
My chest burned. My breathing was ragged and sharp. “Why won’t you let yourself kiss me? And don’t lie to me. We both know you want to.”
“I just…” he sighed. “Can’t.”
I scoffed and my breath ruffled his hair. “That’s not a good reason.”
“I can’t tell you.”
I flinched. “Ever?”
“Yet,” he growled.
We were so close. Electricity pulsed between us, melting the snow as it fell. “But you will, one day?”
“I would love nothing more.” He frowned and for a split second his eyes looked as tortured as I felt. “But I have to stay away from you.”
There was something there, something just below the surface that rocked me to the core. He wasn’t going to budge. Whatever reason he thought he had for staying away from me…he was going to listen to it. He was pushing me away.
My eyes burned with the need to cry. “And you need me to let you.”
He nodded.
I stepped up closer. I refused to go down without a fight. We could tackle whatever it was that would try and keep us apart, but first I needed to know he felt what I did. I pressed my palm to his stomach and fisted his sweater. “What if I say no?”
He growled. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“I can. But first…” I eyed his mouth. “Kiss me. Just once. And not because I started it, but because you want to. Just once, kiss me like you want to.”
His eyes widened. His face paled. He stared at me long enough that I was sure I’d pushed him too far, that he was about to turn and flee again. But I wouldn’t take it back. He needed to know where I stood. How I felt. I stared back at him, squirming inside with every second that passed.
And then he closed the distance between us and the world slowed down.
He reached up and cupped my face between both of his hands. His gaze swept over my face, then he dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine. I sighed against his mouth and fell into his arms. Heat bloomed in my stomach and butterflies danced around. My heart fluttered, making my pulse skip erratically.
This kiss was different. This wasn’t an explosion, this was a deep, slow burn. It was tender and soft, yet fiercely strong. He fisted the hair behind my head and tipped my head back to deepen our kiss. His lips were hot but brushed against mine slowly and delicately. Like he was drinking me in. Our tongues moved together in a dance of passion and pain.
Then he dropped his hands and pulled back. I gasped for air like a fish out of water.
The fire in his eyes turned cold and sad. His voice hardened. “Go dance with your friends. Yule is a time to enjoy.”
“Riah—”
“Just once,” he whispered and held his finger to my mouth. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine…then slowly backed away. “If only you knew.”
And then he was gone, leaving me in the cold. The tears I’d been holding in burst free and rained down my face.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Saffie
I stood at the edge of the beach next to the derby wharf…and I had no memory of walking there.
The last thing I remembered was walking out the front door just to sit on the bench across from our house. I’d wanted some fresh air to clear my mind. I’d hoped it would help ease my thoughts. I must have kept walking. It was well after midnight, and Salem was a ghost town after nine – I shuddered. Ghost town. Fantastic choice of words there, Saffie.
In the end, I wasn’t too surprised I’d wound up in the very place I’d woken with amnesia.
My thoughts turned to Riah, like they always did. I couldn’t help but think having my memory back would help me understand him better. I am a knight. A guardian. I have to stay away from you. I needed to understand why.
I looked up to the full moon and sighed. Help me. Show me the way.
A gust of wind brushed by me, bringing the salty ocean air across my face. I smiled and looked down at the water. Waves gently rolled onto the sand, singing the softest of lullabies and calling for me. It was dark and freezing, but something about it was still inviting. I had this sudden, inexplicable need to go in. It was far too cold to go in yet I found myself kicking off my Ugg boots and then crunching the sand between my toes. The grainy texture was soothing to my skin.
<
br /> I took a deep breath then walked into the waves. The water was so ice-cold it felt sharp against my skin. My black leggings did nothing to block the chilled temperature, but I wasn’t going to stop now. I marched forward, sloshing through the sand and the waves until the water reached my knees. The moon’s reflection rippled in front of me. I sighed and wrapped my arms around my waist. My turtleneck sweater was thick and warm. I tried to focus on that.
It took a few moments of deep breathing before my pulse calmed to match the easy flow of the ocean rolling around me. I closed my eyes and just tried to shut my brain off. The city was silent around me, the residents all sleeping soundly, making no noise at all. Out here, in the water in the middle of the night, I felt like I was somewhere else. Somewhere quieter, somewhere there were no honking car horns and flashing lights. Somewhere the air was cleaner and purer, where only the smells of nature surrounded you.
Hot energy tingled down my spine and into my chest. I stood up straight and frowned. Someone was watching me. I felt their eyes on my back. My magic rushed to my palms. I wrapped my fingers around the citrine dangling from my bracelet, ready to unleash the armor and sword it provided me. My pulse quickened.
I swallowed over a rush of nerves, then turned…
And my breath left me in a rush.
Riah.
He stood three feet behind me with the ocean halfway up his shins and the full moon turning his hair silver. The sharp lines of his face seemed sharper in the dark. His golden eyes twinkled like the stars above us.
I had not seen him since the Yule Ball two nights ago, when he left me under that canopy of lights…yet time did not dampen the effect his presence had on me. My chest still burned. My heart still pounded. My fingers still yearned to touch him.
He stared at me but his mood was unreadable.
What are you feeling?
Who are you?
Why won’t you stay with me?
But I asked none of my questions. My words and feelings dried on my tongue, trapped between a clenched jaw. There was so much to say yet so little at the same time.
The Cursed Witch Page 32
