“We did it!” I said excitedly.
“You want a fucking medal?”
“Lighten up. Geez, this isn’t doing crap for your attitude.”
“That’s because I’m practically naked and stretching with another dude.”
“Quit your bitching. Now, we’re supposed to raise our feet in the air and I guess we hold each other so that we can stretch backwards.”
“This is so wrong,” Alec grumbled.
“Just do it.”
Slowly, we started raising our legs, but it fucking hurt.
“Ow, ow, ow, ow!” I cringed as my legs stretched in the air, my feet pressing against Alec’s. “Why does this hurt so much?”
“Because it’s not natural. I fucking told you!”
“I think my ass is giving out. I need my donut.”
“Just hold still,” he shouted.
“I can’t. I’m falling.” I tilted to the right and Alec gripped my hand harder, trying to hold me up, but my ass hurt too much. “I’m going!”
We fell to the side, our legs tangled together, my foot way too close to his dick. Luckily, when I looked up, we weren’t the only ones that were having trouble staying in position. Sinner and Cazzo had also fallen over and Cazzo was shoving Sinner off his naked body. Chris and Jules were struggling to get in position, but Burg and Ice had it down perfectly.
“Alright,” Chastity smiled. “That was good for the first time, but maybe we should try something a little easier. Sit cross-legged facing each other. Place your right hand on your partner's heart and your partner does the same. Then each of you places your left hand over your partner's right hand. As you tune in – both to the physical beating of your heart and the energy around it, the heart chakra. The feeling becomes increasingly powerful and you bring your breath into harmony.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I asked Alec.
“Hell if I know. What’s a chakra?”
“I thought there would be more stretching and shit? Why are we having to…you know…touch each other? Isn’t that a little weird?”
“Craig, two guys are sitting in their underwear, touching each other’s hearts. There’s nothing about this that isn’t weird.”
I nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
I glanced around the room. Ice was slapping Burg’s hand away from his chest. “Dude, stop feeling me up. I know you had your shot once, but it ain’t gonna happen with me.”
“I’m not fucking gay! When are you guys gonna let that go?”
“When it stops being funny,” Ice shot back.
I snorted in amusement, but schooled my features when Alec glared at me.
“Right, now align your breathing with your partner’s and breathe in harmony. In and out. That’s right.”
“Sorry, but why are we with partners?” Chris asked.
“Yeah, my wife doesn’t do this shit,” Sinner added. “I thought there was like downward dog and stuff like that.”
“What’s downward dog?” Cazzo asked.
“It’s when you lay on your belly and howl like your downwind from a dog,” Sinner said, mimicking the pose.
“That’s not it,” Jules said, standing and walking over to Sinner. “Get up on all fours.” Sinner did as he said. “Now, you want to stand and bend so your ass is in the air and your arms and legs are straight.” He stepped behind Sinner and ran his hand over his back. “That’s right. Nice and straight.” He kept running his hand up and down Sinner’s back. “Good. That’s just how Ivy does it.”
Chris cleared his throat loudly. “Should we leave you two alone?”
Jules snatched his hand back and quickly backed away. “Anyway, that’s how it’s done.”
“That’s correct,” Chastity smiled. “You know, I think the two of you should be partners. You have great chemistry.”
“I’m good,” Sinner said.
“Yeah,” Jules agreed. “I’m just gonna-” He pointed over to Chris and walked back to him. Chris shoved him away when he stood too close.
“Don’t get any ideas,” Alec said when I turned back to him.
I held up my hands in defense. “Hey, you’re not gonna see me rubbing your back.”
“Now that we’ve all had a chance to become one with our breathing, let’s move on to our final pose of the night. Now, I would like one of you, the larger one, to sit cross-legged on the ground. The other one of you will sit on your partner’s thighs with your ankles crossed behind your partner’s back.”
“Hell no,” Alec said, stepping away from me. “I was okay with the yoga, but there’s no fucking way that you’re sitting on my lap.”
“Why wouldn’t you sit on my lap? I’m bigger than you.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Alec spat. “You want me to sit on your lap?”
“Well, it’s what the teacher said to do.”
“No.”
“Hey, I went to therapy for you.”
“And?”
“And you know what. Don’t give me that shit.”
“No.”
“Fine. I’m sure all the guys would like to know what happened after our last therapy session.”
“What happened?” Burg asked.
“Oh, I’m sure Burg of all people would be very interested in this information.”
“Why me? What happened?” Burg asked excitedly.
I grinned and turned to Burg. “At our last session-”
“Fine!” Alec shouted. “I’ll do it. Sit down and shut your fucking mouth.”
I punched Alec in the arm and took my seat. Everyone else gathered around to watch, which was a little weird, but if I had to be the guinea pig, I guess that’s what I had to do. Alec came over and sat down on my thighs.
“Cross your legs behind me,” I ordered.
“No.”
“How is this going to help me if you don’t do it the way it’s supposed to be done?”
“Yeah, Alec,” Sinner grinned. “Show us all how it’s done.”
Alec clenched his jaw and crossed his legs behind me. Yeah, it was fucking weird, but there had to be an end result that would make this all right for me.
“Alright, now that you’re in position, allow your foreheads to touch, while keeping your back as straight as possible, and breathe deeply and slowly.”
“I’m gonna kill you,” Alec said, right before he allowed his forehead to meet mine.
I took a deep breath, even allowed my eyes to drift closed as I felt myself relax.
“Isn’t this a little gay?” Cazzo asked. And that snapped me out of it. I was just about to shove Alec off me when I heard Cap’s voice.
“What the fuck are you two doing?”
My head shot up and my mouth dropped open as I tried to figure out something smart to say. Alec jumped out of my lap, his face bright red. Chance’s team and Coop’s team were standing behind Cap, staring at us like we were insane. Well, all except Gabe.
“Seriously, enough of this shit! First, waxing, and now you’re climbing into each other’s laps? This is a workplace!” His eyes went big when he saw Cazzo. “I expected better from you.”
“Hey, I work here too.”
“And you’re fucking naked,” Cap shouted. Cazzo looked down and covered his junk, looking up sheepishly at Cap.
“What are you guys doing?” Chance asked.
“Uh…” I looked to Alec, but he refused to meet my eyes.
“It’s Tantra Yoga,” Chastity said as she walked forward.
“What?” all of us shouted.
“Wait,” Alec shook his head slightly, “this was supposed to be yoga. Just yoga.”
“No, I’m a Tantra Yoga teacher.”
“Wait…” Oh, this was not good. Not good at all. “Tantra as in…”
“Well, I was a little confused myself. I mean, I don’t have any male partners in my tantra class, but I’m open to helping all understand the role of dominance in sex.”
“Whoa,” Sinner yelled. “We’re not gay! We were
using yoga to clear our minds. Not…seduce one another.”
“Well, actually, it has very little to do with seduction. Tantra is actually about a man worshiping a woman’s breasts and vagina by writing mantras on them. Then, the man pulls the woman towards him by the hair and has sex with her. It’s very domineering.”
“So, why didn’t you tell us that?” I shouted. “He was sitting on my fucking lap!”
“Wait,” Ice interrupted. “So, is this something you give lessons on?”
“Alright,” Cap shouted. “That’s enough. I can take waxing and I can take the spa days, but this is taking it too far. Next time, do your fucking research before you hire someone to come here and…” He shook his head and stalked out of the room. Coop’s team followed him out, but Gabe walked over to us and grinned.
“So, where can I learn more about this stuff? And why was I left out of the fun?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Reese
I ran around the house, checking every last decoration, making sure everything was exactly as I wanted it. I called Jessica, Storm’s girlfriend, first thing this morning and told her what I needed, expenses didn’t matter. I had a deadline, which was today, and she got to work. People showed up just an hour later. In fact, there were so many people here that there was really nothing I had to do. And the point of it? To freak Craig out so much that he would up and leave.
I hated that I had been moved here, but the fact was, this house was really nice. And being on Reed Security property, I felt very safe. Still, that didn’t mean that I liked the fact that the house I had bought for myself, loved with all my heart, had just been snatched out from under me. And when I finally got my divorce from Craig, what was I supposed to do then? I had put everything I had into that house. Would Craig give me the money back or would he hold it so that I would have to stay with him?
I grinned as I took in the living room. I had the entire place painted the color of Pepto Bismol. The paint was still drying, so the windows were open, letting in the cool fall breeze to help air out the house. There were deer heads all over the walls and the bedroom was decorated with several bear heads. It was creepy as hell. I couldn’t imagine actually staying here because if I woke up in the middle of the night, I would probably get scared and run screaming from the house. But this would work.
I walked over to the coffee table and adjusted the book with the giant vagina on it. Perfect. Next to it sat a plastic vagina that could be opened and closed for demonstration. I had a stack of books on the other end about feminism and the power of women. A book titled What Do Women Need Men For sat on top. I didn’t actually read any of that crap, but I figured it would irritate Craig, and that was what this was all about.
I heard his truck pull in and I quickly ran to the bathroom to check my appearance. I was happy to see that I looked quite disheveled. I checked my armpits, grimacing at the smell. I had run around the house several times to work up a sweat so that I smelled gross and I hadn’t bothered to take a shower. The door opened and I stepped back into the living room to greet him. He looked stunned or shocked, but it wasn’t because of the decorations. He wasn’t even looking at that.
“Craig? Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” he said, just staring at the ground.
“Work was okay?”
“Uh…sure.”
“You’re not acting right. Did something happen with one of the guys? With Alec?”
“What are you talking about? Of course nothing happened with the guys. Especially Alec. Nothing would ever happen with him. I don’t know why you would even say something like that.” He chuckled nervously and was fidgeting with his jacket.
“Okay. Um…I wasn’t implying that…well, I don’t even know what you thought I was implying.”
“Never mind. Just…nothing happened.”
I nodded and he finally looked me in the eyes. “So? What do you think?”
“About what?”
“The decorations, silly.”
He looked at the walls finally and practically jumped back. “What the fuck? Why are there heads on the wall?”
“You don’t like it?”
I could see his throat bob as he swallowed hard. “Uh…it’s great. Really…creative.”
“I thought you might like it. And I know how much you like sex, so I got something special for you!”
I led him over to the coffee table and showed him the vagina. He grimaced, but tried to hide it. “That’s…so…cool.”
“Isn’t it? I also picked up a book for you about the anatomy of the vagina.”
He swallowed hard again and looked around the room in misery. Yeah, just as I thought it would go. I stepped up to him and ran my hand up his chest. “Now, why don’t we go to the bedroom and you can examine my vagina?”
He nodded, but didn’t look at all enthused about it. He dropped his bag and used his crutches to get over to the stairs. I watched his ass as he climbed the stairs. Damn, he was so good looking. I reached forward and grabbed his ass just for the fun of it. He jolted and laughed a little, but he looked so uncomfortable. We made it to the bedroom and I managed to restrain myself for the rest of the walk to the bed. I shoved him backward and climbed on top of him, straddling his body and wrapping my legs around his waist.
“What are you doing?” he asked nervously.
“I’m getting comfortable.”
“But…why are you sitting like that?”
“Because, I want to be close to you. I want our bodies to be one.”
He shoved me off him and stood, running his hand nervously over his head. He started limping and pacing the floor, but I had no clue why. It must have been something I said.
“I thought you wanted the same thing. I thought you wanted us to be close.”
“I do. I just…we can’t…I can’t…” He gestured to the bed and shuttered violently. “Not that.”
“Okay.”
I stood and walked over to him. I wasn’t sure why because I had what I wanted. He was freaked out just like I wanted, but this didn’t have anything to do with the decorations, and for some reason that bothered me. Because if it wasn’t the decorations, it was me.
“Did I do something wrong? Is this not what you want?”
He looked around the room, taking it in for the first time and then looked back at me. “This is really fucking weird.”
“You said to do whatever I wanted.”
“Yeah, but I thought you would paint the room a girly color or hang pictures of babies dressed like sunflowers. This is…brutal.”
“Well, I did paint it pink.”
“It’s so pink that I want to throw up.”
Then I did my job. I grinned internally, but put a frown on my face.
“You don’t like it?”
He sighed and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into him. “If this is what you like, then I’ll learn to love it.”
Shit. Well, that backfired. I should have known that Craig was the man that would go along with anything to make his woman happy. I gave him a wary smile and pecked him on the cheek.
He grinned wolfishly at me. “Glad I could get you to come around.”
And then the asshole took me to bed and gave me some of the best orgasms of my life. What an ass.
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