by Nelly Asher
***
Selena put the book on her knees, trying to bring herself to open it. Now she was plagued with doubts. What if Evanford is right, and something will happen to professor because of her? It's hard to take such a responsibility... But she had to cling to any straw. Silver sighed and started reading:
“Should I admit it or deny it? Flee or fight? The answer isn't obvious, even when there is no way to escape...” the girl was looking into the book, failing to notice that the lines on the monitors started to jerk. “Now he was standing before the door he couldn't open – there was no handle. If only SHE could help him... But she's just sitting there, not having the slightest clue about what's going on. Don't leave him alone, Selena...” upon reading those lines, she leaped up. Dammit, Kevin! Anything could've happened to him – and she doesn't even know where he headed after leaving this ward. She shouldn't have let him go – besides, it was her who suggested to stick together... Selena ran out. Monitor readings began falling back to normal, without reaching the critical point.
In the corridor, she was about to run the way they came from, but recalled the lines from the book and sprinted in the opposite direction. Another staircase... The girl ran up and noticed Evanford leaning against the wall.
“Kevin?” Selena approached and saw that his eyes are closed. “Are you ok? Hey?” she touched him, then tapped him on the shoulder. Although Kevin didn't react to this, in a few seconds he opened his eyes, looked around the corridor, then shifted his gaze to the girl.
“When did you get here?”
“I though you need my help... I've read it in the book,” Selena frowned. “What's wrong with you, anyway?”
“I don't know... Doesn't matter,” he replied sourly. “I saw Haurot Sputkee, the one who wrote this book. He entered that ward,” Evanford pointed at one of the doors.
“Who?” Silver's eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“About eighty percent sure,” Kevin approached the door and turned the handle.
A man in light green hospital gown was standing with his back turned to the entrance, staring into the window. Silence fell, but the moment visitors were about to talk, the patient said:
“Did you come here for an autograph?” Haurot turned to them. His looks were giving an ambivalent impression: in good physical shape, no wrinkles – and yet he didn't seem young. He could've been aged thirty as well as sixty. Smile was dancing on the man's thin lips.
Kevin and Selena were somewhat baffled by such straightforward words. This man wasn't even trying to conceal who he is, to run or disappear. They couldn't imagine that the author of the mysterious book will appear before them so quickly and easily, and now they didn't know where to start.
“Was it you who wrote this book?” Evanford finally asked. He recalled the episode with Jeremy Lace. Questions should be as clear as possible – this was the only rule of this crazy game he understood and accepted.
“It was never written...” Haurot was eyeing Selena, as if she was an acquaintance he didn't see in a while. “It was me who created it, yes. But all of you have put bits of yourself into it.”
“All of us? Who are 'us'?” the girl flared up. This person's gaze was making her nervous, and she was already too tired of vague hints... Selena jumped up to the book's author, grabbed his shirt and pressed him to the window. “How many people are involved in this? What kind of a mess did you stir?!” she growled into his face.
“Aren't that many... You ran into each of them already,” their eyes met. His were as dark as Silver's, but she didn't see her reflection in them. It seemed like his pupils are two bottomless pits leading into some other world. “It wasn't me who stirred everything up, it was you. Of course, things were boiling up to this, but it was you who stroke the critical spark, pulled the trigger...”
“Me?!” she recoiled, unable to find her tongue in surprise and outrage. Taking advantage of the pause, Kevin voiced his question:
“You're answering in a way more willing and straightforward manner than anyone we've met before... Why?” it seemed suspicious that this man was making contact so easily.
“I don't have to help you, though withholding information from you isn't in my best interest either... But the most important thing here is my wish. It was my wish to tell all of this to you. And I wished you to spend time with me. I almost never leave this ward, but sometimes even I don't want to stay alone... But I don't have that need any more,” he abruptly ended, turning to the window.
“You just had to ask it, didn't you,” Selena hissed at Kevin and turned to Sputkee: “What do you mean you have no wish? We've just started with our questions! And we won't go anywhere until you answer them!”
She didn't have time to get too furious. Suddenly Haurot turned around, his glance gliding the room, not concentrating on anything, like it was slipping off from all objects. The girl backed away to the door where her companion was standing.
“I have to get out,” the patient spoke nervously.
“You're a big boy, hold it in for a few minutes,” Selena smirked.
“These walls... Are pressing me... I'm being squashed here...” he was breathing heavily. Selena couldn't understand what happened to him all of a sudden, but she quickly figured what to do.
“Then it's you who won't be going anywhere until you answer our questions!” she pressed her back against the door, and pulled Kevin closer. He didn't resist. Who knows – maybe those savage methods will help them squeeze some more information after all...
Haurot was obviously stronger than them, and he could've easily pushed the pair away and make his way out. But the man didn't even try – he sat on the floor and huddled up, his arms around his knees.
“You have no idea what I'm capable of,” the patient muttered. “You wouldn't even be able to wrap your mind around it... But I fell slave to the limits I've set for myself. I compressed the multiformity of the universe into four walls of a small room. Once I came up with a way of liberating yourself from something that chains you down. A long and hard way, especially for you; with many restrictions. I can violate them if I want. But I don't always have the wish to do so...” he buried his face between his knees, like he couldn't stand seeing this room.
“If you're so mighty, why are you whining like a little girl?” Selena asked with irritation.
“Not quite a little girl, but not quite almighty.... I've tried to mark the days on the calendar, but I'm still not sure when that cycle of mine starts,” he winked at Kevin. Young man couldn't understand why – it's not like this sentence made more sense to him than to his female companion.
“Ok, enough of those ravings!” the girl was pretty frustrated. “You'd better tell us something useful!”
“For one, how do you know my uncle and why did he pay for your being here?” Kevin specified. Selena looked at him in surprise, but before she could say anything, Haurot wheezed out:
“I need more space... The nearest key point will do... Open the door, quick...”
Evanford obliged. There was an already familiar corridor outside, with electric light coming out of nowhere. Right before them there was a wide open door; behind it, he could see an interior of some house. Or, rather, of his own.
“What is this place?” Silver asked with suspicion.
“My house, as seen from the kitchen,” Kevin turned to the patient. “What does 'key point' mean?”
“Let's go,” Haurot jumped up and ran outside, pushing Selena out of his way.
“Hey!” the girl sprinted after him, trying to kick him in the back with her tiny fist.
Evanford left the ward and stopped in the corridor. “You can't open the door before closing the previous one”. If this is a rule, Sputkee just broke it. Does it indicate the invalidity of the rule, or the capabilities of the book's author? At this point, the mathematician realised what confuses him most about the current situation. Not even the mortal dangers, but the randomness of the rules and absence of visible logic. To be fair, regular life is
also dangerous and unpredictable, but Kevin has developed a strategy of going through it way before he reached his age of twenty. And that sewage stream they're swimming in seems to consist of nothing but hidden rocks. Closing the ward door, then the kitchen door, Evanford entered his home.
In the mansion's huge hall, Haurot slowed down and sat on the staircase step, leaning on the handrail. Selena kicked him in the shoulder to let off some steam, and started pacing before the staircase.
“You knew professor? How and why did we get here? Who are you? Why is the book constantly changing?” she didn't even give him a moment to answer. Evanford approached them and interrupted the stream of her speech:
“Tell me... Are there any rules or regularities to all this? If there are, what are they, after all?” Kevin realised how vague his question is, but he had to start somewhere.
“Of course there are,” Haurot raised his head. “In the place you've visited, laws of physics don't work... It's more about the laws of psychics, so to speak. By the way, you can observe one of the direct correlations right now...” Sputkee shifted his gaze to Selena. “And don't get furious, it doesn't suit you. I'm not ignoring you. On contrary, you were the closest one to me of them all, and I'm ready to fulfill your wishes before everyone else's... If I myself will have a wish to do so.”
“That does it!” Selena lost her temper completely. “What the hell are you getting at? What do I have to do with this?! We've never met before! Or are you confusing me with someone else?..” she recalled running into her doppleganger. “Who is she? Just don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about!” Silver snapped again and jumped at Haurot, knocking him down on the stairs. Kevin shook his head in disapproval. This girl just can't keep her distance. He was polite enough to say nothing, but acting like that might get one into trouble.
But it seemed that Haurot paid no attention to an attacker. He turned his eyes to the ceiling and smiled joyfully:
“That whitewash was nice back in its day... So high, almost in space... Finally...”
Selena punched Sputkee again and sat beside him on the step, breathing heavily. She couldn't remain at the peak of fury for long, especially not when it comes to a psycho who didn't even react at her.
“Well, it seems that no matter what happens, you just don't give the slightest fuck” the girl summed up in a tired voice. Sputkee cringed, as if the word she dropped has caused him physical pain. Selena smirked: “What? Am I reminding that you didn't get laid for a while?”
The man didn't answer, and silence fell for a few minutes. Haurot was staring blankly at the ceiling, Silver was simply exhausted, and Kevin was thinking. These words about some direct correlation he can observe... Does it have anything to do with the kind of questions the book's author answers? Or is it about the changes in his behavior? Suddenly, an image emerged before his eyes.
“Do you have that little calendar from the psychiatrists's office with you?” he turned to Selena.
“Yes... I guess...” a bit surprised, she pulled the calendar out of her purse and gave it to Evanford. He ran the list of phobias with his eyes and frowned. The girl asked impatiently: “Well, what is it?”
“Calendar... Cycle... First, he didn't want to be left alone. Then he was afraid of small enclosed spaces – manifestation of claustrophobia. Now it's erotophobia – fear of sex and talking about it... He experiences those phobias in turn.”
They looked at Haurot. He was sitting with his back straightened, smiling. Selena spoke:
“Dark shroud of the night was covering their ardent bodies. He pulled her lacy panties off and started to...” seeing that this doesn't have any effect on “The Door”s author, she turned to Kevin: “All right, what's next on the list?”
“Heliophobia,” young man answered with a fairly straight face, but mockery was ringing in his voice.
“What?” Selena blazed up again. “Well yes, you won't run into a line like that in science fiction or math textbook. But everyone's got their own taste! I always liked novels about romance and... so on.
“I wouldn't be so certain – you can name the book what you want and illustrate it with spaceships, but it'll still be a romance novel under it, with contents that'll turn any paperback cover into hard one,” Kevin replied nonchalantly. “Though, to be fair, I haven't seen this done to a math textbook yet.”
“You're right, cover can be quite misleading,” the girl sighed. “So, heliophobia? Fear of the sun?” she grabbed Sputkee's hand and pulled him to the front door. He didn't resist. On the street, he squinted from the bright sunrays, but didn't show any sign of anxiety.
“Why doesn't it work?” Silver asked noone in particular.
“It does... You just didn't interpret this word right,” Haurot replied.
“How about you just answer us?” her voice was almost begging.
“No. Are you trying to manipulate me? Well, go on, as long as you've started,” he grinned. “You've always been amusing me, you know.”
Here he goes about this unexisting past again! Clenching her teeth to keep herself from swearing, Selena pulled the man back into the house.
“Fear of blood comes next, and then the fear of weapons,” Evanford said before she asked. He suspected that this strategy won't bring them any good, but he couldn't bring any alternatives to the table.
Selena immediately had an idea. She lead Haurot to the kitchen and made him sit. Silver glanced around, but didn't see what she was looking for.
“Where do you keep knives?” she quietly asked Evanford.
“There, I suppose,” he nodded at one of the drawers. Kevin was no good around the kitchen. Henry and him never cooked anything – they either hired a cook or ordered some food. He'll probably have to learn when he'll be living alone in his own appartment. Young man grinned cheerlessly – he's considering this already, as if he has already got out of all this alive and even sane. Mathematician always thought that the next step could be planned only based on the current situation, and it's of no use to think about the distant future. And with everything that was going on recently, even a few hours from now seemed like a distant future.
Selena picked the sharpest knife, approached Haurot and sat in front of him.
“Are you scared?” she took the knife to his chest. Sputkee shook his head.
“So, it's too early for that... And what about now?” with a quick movement, she made a skin-deep cut on her palm. At the sight of blood, Haurot's face convulsed with fear. “Great,” Selena's lips twiched – it was hard to tell if she smirks or winces in pain.
“Why did you do that?” Evanford gasped. Phobia or not, looking at blood made his stomach curl, too.
“Other kinds of fears are harder to control. And here, now you see it... Now you don't,” she clenched her fist, hissing from the wave of pain that followed. The book's author exhaled in relief. “I think that there's some power in blood... As someone once said, I'm not sure who: 'Sometimes I have to cause myself pain to make sure that I'm still alive'.”
“Yes, cruelty and fearlessness are in your blood,” Haurot said. The girl opened her palm, and he shuddered involuntarily, but didn't look away.
“Why don't you close your eyes?” Selena suddenly asked. She felt that there's some catch to all of this. “It's obvious that you could've easily ran away, so why don't you?”
“Because I realized not so long ago – you can't run away from yourself. I'm sick of hiding from my problems. But even I can't cope with this alone,” Sputkee gave her an intent look, then turned to Evanford. “And whatever we thought back then, none of us wanted to be left alone...”
While he spoke, Kevin was fiddling with the calendar. Something caught his eye – February 29th. But it's not a leap year right now... Only at this point he realized – even though the year written was current, 2001, the calendar grid doesn't fit. After some quick calculations, he figured which year is actually presented. Another careful look revealed another detail – October 12th was highlighted, even
though it wasn't Sunday or holiday.
“October 12th, 1996... Did somethin happen that day?” Kevin spoke.
“Yes... That's when it all began.”
“What are you talking about?” Silver leaned closer, her eyes glowing. “Five years ago I was rotting in the hospital... Maybe there's something I don't rememver? Tell me... What was I like back then?”
“You didn't look as awful as you thought. But you were angry at the whole world, you were blaming the external forces for everything that was happening to you...”
“But it's not my fault that I got sick!” the girl indignantly exclaimed.
“Your attitude towards life and death was complicated... But you never were heavily sick. Those memories aren't actually yours,” paitent of the clinic was looking at her without blinking. “But you were contaminated with grudge. Your soul got crusted over with bile. After October 12th, a lot has changed... But you'll learn about it yourself,” all of a sudden, he leaped, grabbing her, thrusted open the door of the built-in food closet and threw Selena behind it. There was a corridor instead of the shelves – Kevin noticed this in a split second before Haurot shut the door back. Evanford froze, completely stunned.
“See, I'm so talkative right now, you don't even have to blackmail me,” Sputkee spread his arms, showing how 'open' he is. “I can tell you a lot of things, and you won't even have to deteriorate your mind by reading the book. And, as you may guess, if you leave, I won't be there when you come back. Make your choice. Choice is the whole point of this game...”
“Where's Selena?” Kevin interrupted him.
“Not far. But the book has influenced her too, and now your friend sees some interesting things... I'm not telling you to take advantage of the situation, but wouldn't it be flattering if a girl ended up at your feet?” Haurot's voice got harsher. “I'm warning you right away – you won't prevent what will happen. And anyway, if a sweater fell on the floor, it might as well lie there for a bit – it won't get any dirtier, right?”
Realizing what he's getting at, Evanford rushed to the door. Running into an invisible barrier of fear, he wasn't even surprised. There was no time to think about how dangerous the door is – he had a goal behind it. Scalding his hand with boiling water, being electrocuted and feeling the moving slime under his fingers all at once, Kevin turned the handle, jumped out and ran to the staircase.
