“He was just a baby,” I repeated, tears running down my face. Tobias really was dead. In my heart I’d known it was true, but it still hurt to hear it.
“Once I got him to Faery, I tried to save him but even my magic couldn’t help, so I removed my mask, took away his pain and held him in my arms while he drew his last breath. I buried him as close to his family home as I could on the Faery side of the border. I’m sorry, Bria. It doesn’t make it any better, but I don’t know what else to do. The Wild Hunt is trapped in the spell Father created, perpetually finding servants for the fae in his army. If we weren’t bound to his will, I believe one of our roles—what we were created for—would be easing the path of the ill to their final destination.”
I sank to the ground at the edge of the pool, crossing my legs. Tobias was dead. It would devastate Selina. Death was what she’d hoped for after the Hunt took him, but a large part of me had hoped he’d come back one day, just walk up to their cottage and resume his life with them. That would never happen. “I have to tell Selina.”
“She knows,” he whispered.
“You told her?” Someone had. Selina had told me as much the last time I saw her, though I hadn’t believed her.
He nodded, dropping to sit beside me.
“Why did you refuse to tell me any of this sooner?”
He looked at me through sad eyes. “I know I’m a murderer and a kidnapper and I can live with it. But every time you look at me, I can see you searching for the good in me, and it made me forget what I am.” He clenched his teeth, his voice shaking with anger. “And I liked it. I liked that for once, I was someone other than the person everyone has always known me to be, in your eyes anyway.” He shook his head. “You’re doing it now. In your mind, you’re justifying all the horrible things I do in Iadrun.”
I pressed my lips together. He was right. I was justifying. He was taking away the worst people in Iadrun, therefore he was helping us. He was making the sick feel better before they died.
“You can’t do that Bria. You should always remember when I’m with the Wild Hunt, I’m everything you hate.” He swallowed. “Sometimes I’m that person even when I’m not with the Hunt. Even if spending time with you allowed me to forget for a while.”
He was wrong. “You’ve never been that person since I’ve known you.”
“I can assure you, it’s never far from the surface.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t true. He wasn’t the monster I thought of Xion as. When he went to Iadrun, he did what he had to in order to keep the important people in his life safe. “Fergus, this is stupid—”
“It’s not! The only stupid thing was spending time with you and allowing myself to forget the things I’ve done to the people you love. And hoping you’d forget, too.” He stood and walked a few steps away, folding his arms over his chest.
I got up and followed, walking up behind him and placing my hand on his arm. “I won’t ever forget. But I can forgive you. And I do.”
He shook his head, his voice thick. “Don’t.”
I kept my hand resting on his arm. “If there was a different way to do what you have to do, would you have taken it?”
He nodded.
“Then that’s all I need to know about you.”
He turned, looking down at me with eyes so intense it was as if he were seeing into my soul. “I’ve done nothing good enough to end up with someone like you in my life, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too,” I whispered. And I was. But I was still worried about him. “The Hunt, it doesn’t seem to make you very happy.”
His smile was weak. “I love the Hunt—the feeling of freedom, riding as fast as the wind, knowing no one can touch me when I’m riding with them. I enjoy making a person’s last hours easier, I just wish I didn’t have to drag them this side of the border to do it. What I dislike is the hold Father has over the Hunt, the quota he makes us fill, and the punishment we must suffer if we fail. Even if he doesn’t know it, he always seems to wind his way into my life and change it for the worse.” He sighed. “I have to meet with him in the morning.”
He didn’t need to say the words for me to know he wasn’t looking forward to it. “Are you meeting with him as Fergus? Or Xion?”
“Xion. Jax pretended to be Xion while I was trapped in Seelie, but Father was growing suspicious. I need to smooth things over.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll show up as myself after. Maybe not.”
It said a lot about his father that he was more worried about seeing Xion than his own son. “Sounds like you’re lucky to have Jax around. Good job someone didn’t kill him with her rogue magic earlier.”
“I’m sure he’s as grateful about that as I am.” A wry smile settled on his face. It was good to see him let go of his anger. “His magic is weak in other ways, but he’s a strong shifter. Helps that Father has no idea what he’s capable of.”
“Because it leaves you free to do whatever you want to? Like, say, at a masquerade?”
Fergus’ lips twitched.
“You know, I’d never have danced with you that night had I known you were the Unseelie Prince.” I’d have fought with everything I had to get away from him. I’d had no intention of ever being part of Faery. Still didn’t, but perhaps when I resumed my life in Iadrun I’d have some friends on this side of the border.
“I know.” He let his gaze wander across the horizon. “What about now? Now you know more about me than almost anyone in the world, would you still turn down a dance with me?”
I looked around. There was room enough for dancing beside the pool if we moved the furniture around. I wasn’t sure if he meant to dance with me right now or sometime later.
He took my silence for worry. “Why do you think Mother gifted me this island? It’s so far from everywhere that no one will hear the music. You need not be concerned. Remind me to take you to a Wild Hunt party one day. We have music like you’ve never heard, played so loud it feels like the beat matches your own heart.”
“You do?” He made such music sound amazing.
Fergus nodded and his face lit as he spoke of the Hunt. He looked so happy.
Perhaps I could take a break and be happy, too. “Then, yes. I would dance with you, Fergus Blackwood.”
Fergus flourished a hand, holding it high for me to take. “What, no your Highness?”
I huffed. “When have I ever called you that?”
One of his shoulders rose and his eyes danced. “There’s always a first time.”
“And a last.” I dropped into a low curtsey, locking eyes with him. I hoped he was watching, because I was never curtseying to him again. “Your Highness, I’d be honored to dance with you.”
Fergus’ his eyes rested on me a moment longer than necessary, and my heart jumped. He let out a low whistle, and Obsidian and Raven trotted up the beach and stopped in front of the steps.
I looked between him and the horses. “I don’t understand.”
Fergus grinned. “You don’t have to. Just get on.” He nodded to Raven.
Dancing beside the pool or riding Raven, it wasn’t much of a choice. I’d never felt as free as I had the last time I rode her. “I’m not dressed for riding.”
Fergus shrugged. “There is clean riding gear in your room if you want to change.”
“I won’t be long.” I ran to my room and dressed before sprinting back out to where Fergus and the horses waited. With a giggle, I climbed on Raven’s back and had only just gathered her reins in my hands when she took three galloping steps along the beach and rose over the island.
While I’d been speaking with Fergus, clouds had rolled in. Raven climbed up through them until we came out the other side. They looked like a cushion beneath her feet, the moon lighting them up like daylight.
Raven slowed, and Fergus rode up beside us. Wind blew his hair back from his face and he seemed refreshed. It suited him. He kicked a leg over Obsidian’s head, turning to sit upon her as
if she were a park bench. With a grin, he slid off.
“Fergus!” His name spilled from my mouth before I had the chance to stop it.
He grinned up at me, standing on the clouds as if he stood on solid ground. He held his hand out.
I shook my head. “No way am I getting off this horse. I don’t know how to control my magic to stop me from falling.” Based on my earlier attempt, I doubted I would ever have that sort of control.
“Relax. I’ll keep you safe. And if the worst should happen—which it won’t…” He suddenly dropped away, sinking through the clouds and disappearing.
“Fergus!” I screamed, digging my heels into Raven, begging her to go after him. She refused to move. Frantic, I searched for a gap in the clouds through which to spy Fergus. Until the bastard came prancing up beside me on the back of Obsidian. I hadn’t even noticed Fergus’ horse go after him.
He slid off his horse again and held out his hand. “As I was saying, should the worst happen, Raven and Obsidian will have your back. Now I believe you promised me a dance.”
I shook my head, my hands clenched tight around Raven’s reins. “Not up here. I said I’d dance with you down there. Beside the pool.”
“I don’t believe we ever discussed a venue. Besides, you haven’t lived until you’ve danced among the clouds.” His hand remained steady, outstretched just above my knee.
I wanted to take it. Every part of my heart wished to take his hand and let him guide me around this private dance floor the way he’d done at the masquerade. But every part of my head told me not to be a fool. It was too dangerous.
“I’d never let you fall,” he said, his voice so soft I might have dreamed it.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I took his hand and slid from the horse. The cloud beneath my feet was more than air, firm but spongy. Not like standing on the ground. I gripped Fergus’ hands tight, sure I’d fall if I went too far outside his arc of magic.
“Look at me.” He pulled on my hands, trying to direct my eyes up.
Taking a deep breath, I did as he asked, lifting my chin to meet his eyes. His gaze made my heart race. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to how handsome he was. I frowned. “Why do you look … hazy?” Faint blue light surrounded him. He hadn’t looked that way before.
Two lines formed between his eyebrows. “Hazy?”
“It looks like I’m seeing you through a veil. A light blue veil.”
His eyebrows rose. “You can see that? Let me try using a little less magic. Now, how do I look?”
“Arrogant, conceited, full of yourself.” And also handsome, regal and gorgeous, but those last thoughts I kept to myself.
“I aim to please.” His lips pursed as he tried not to laugh. “What I meant to say was, is the blue veil gone?”
Almost. It was still there if I looked hard enough. “What was that?”
“Me gathering my magic ready to use it. I was about to cast a spell to keep you warm. Most fae don’t see magic as it gathers. Most often we just see the condensed version like … like the blast of magic that almost hit Jax.”
I nodded. I’d certainly seen that. It had been a burst of light, but what I’d just seen was different. “I never noticed it like that before now.” I’d never seen magic at all until my magic came through in the prison.
“I believe the correct response is, I’m indebted to you, Prince Fergus, for thinking of my comfort while we’re up here.”
I’d never seen Fergus like this. Playful. Happy. I’d seen flashes, but never so much at one time. Seeing him this way made me smile. “You’ll need to offer me more than a magic jacket if you want me in your debt.”
His mouth dropped open in mock despair. “I loaned you a horse. Does that count for nothing? A flying horse.”
I shook my head. “I’m afraid not.” Opting for a change of subject, I added, “Why did I see your magic?”
Fergus pulled gently on my hand until I took a step away from the horse. “Because you’d never accessed your own magic until recently. You’ll see it so often now that eventually you won’t even notice it.”
“It’s pretty.” It was the most beautiful shade, and I wished to see it again.
“That it is. Now, are you ready for that dance?” He gave my hand a squeeze.
I nodded. At least I couldn’t see how high I was if I looked down—the clouds made sure of that.
I gripped Fergus’ hands tight, every muscle in my body stiff as I waited for him to pry one hand from mine so he could place it on my back. But he didn’t do it. Instead, the blue haze appeared again, and a moment later music played as if we had our own private orchestra. He moved me around our invisible dance floor using the connection between our hands, pushing and pulling to direct me where he wanted me to go. He was a strong lead and there was no chance for me to make the wrong movement. Or perhaps I did, and Fergus adjusted his own steps to match.
The music rose, loud at the crescendo, and Fergus twirled me around and around until the world blurred and I was laughing so hard, I could barely stand. My hair came loose from its binding, strands floating across my face, but I was too busy to do anything about it. I didn’t even think to care until the music stopped. For a moment Fergus and I looked at each other as we caught our breath, then his gaze moved from my eyes.
To my ears.
I pulled my hands from his, self-consciously pulling my hair down. For a moment, in his arms, I’d believed I was a princess. Dancing with a prince. Way to bring me crashing down.
He caught my hand. “Don’t.”
I pulled away, trying to arrange my hair as it had been, my eyes on the clouds billowing beneath our feet.
He caught my chin in his fingers and lifted it until I met his eyes. “You don’t have to hide them around me.”
“I do if I want you to think of me as someone you enjoy dancing with. If I want you to think of me as just another girl.” My cheeks reddened at my admission. The words had slipped out before I had time to stop them. I was acting crazy around him and I didn’t know why.
His fingers still rested beneath my chin. “I couldn’t ever think of you as just another girl.”
My heart fell. There were no surprises there, but it hurt to hear it. I couldn’t meet his eyes.
He ducked into my line of vision. “Bria, you are so much more than just another girl and you never need to hide your ears—or anything—from me. I think they’re beautiful.”
That was the princely charm I’d heard so much about. Fergus Blackwood had always had plenty of opportunities to recite pretty words and watch the recipient’s knees go weak. It wouldn’t work with me. I didn’t care that he was a prince. I didn’t expect him to shower me with gifts, I just wanted his friendship. And I could see through his words as easily as if they were a pane of glass. I pulled from his grasp and snorted. “Here’s a tip, Prince Fergus. If you want to sweet talk a girl, it’s better to use lies she will believe.” I started back toward the horses knowing I was relying on his magic to keep me up here, but not caring to be in his grasp any longer.
As I reached the place the horses waited, a picnic rug appeared, and on it, an array of sandwiches, fruit, cake and drinks. I stared a moment before turning back to Fergus.
“I was hoping you … wouldn’t want to leave just yet. That you’d consider staying up here with me a little longer.” He lifted an eyebrow. “You might even have fun.”
My shoulders slumped. “You don’t have to spend time with me.” Perhaps he felt like he owed me this because I’d saved his life.
He placed his hand on his chest, the way I’d seen him do before. “Prince, remember. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.”
He waited, watching for the smile I tried to keep off my face. He had a point.
“But, just in case no one has ever told you, Bria Tremaine, your ears aren’t something to be ashamed of. Stars, they aren’t even something to worry over. There are so many other parts of yo
u that are so much more interesting, that I never even notice your ears. I notice how much you care for your friends. How loyal you are. Your bravery. And the way you press your lips together when you’re trying not to smile. I wouldn’t have brought you up here if I didn’t want to spend time with you. So, please stay.” He pouted. “Let the poor prince have some fun … it’s been so long.”
I pressed my lips in exactly the manner he’d described. He was right, I would have fun with him. And maybe I deserved that, for one night before I went to rescue Mother. I lowered myself onto one edge of the blanket, while Fergus spread himself out on the other side, lying back with his hands behind his head.
Silence reigned and I tried not to watch him, but my eyes kept creeping back. Each time, I’d find him watching me, but I couldn’t hold his gaze. I picked up a sandwich and began to nibble.
He picked up his own sandwich. “I lived in Iadrun for a time. When I was a child.”
I looked up to find him watching me. Still. “You did?”
“Just for a month or two. But it was the best time of my life. It was the last time I felt truly loved. And I have such strong memories of laughing with Mother, and the feel of her hair blowing against my face as she held me, of her looking at me like I was the most important thing in the world. I keep telling myself that it can only be a dream because I was so young when we went there. I keep telling myself there’s no possible way I could recall it the way I do, like it happened yesterday. I tell myself those things to make it easier to take humans—maybe the same humans who made my stay so pleasant—into Father’s army.”
I didn’t envy him. He was in an impossible situation. “Do you wish you’d never joined the Wild Hunt? That when the magic chose you, you’d refused?”
He looked up at the stars a moment before he answered and, in that moment, I knew what he’d say. I could see it as if it were inked on his face. “I love the Wild Hunt more than I love almost anything else in this world. And I’d do anything for those people I ride with every night.”
Kingdom of Yesterday's Lies (Royals of Faery Book 1) Page 21
