by A. J. Stone
He masticated an ice cube. “Shoot.”
For the first time since they’d met, Tito fidgeted in his seat. He tugged at his collar, which was already loose, and undid a third button. “When I made a deal with the Ice-Breathers to forge an alliance between our tribes, I didn’t know Amaricio had found his omega. I though Edgar was just another fling, as you’ve all had flings with other kinds of omegas at one time or another. We all do it. I didn’t know he was serious.”
Zeke peered at Tito. “This sounds like a conversation you should be having with Amar.”
“He won’t talk to me about it.”
“I don’t know what you expect me to do.” He’d tried talking to Grange about the matter, but his friend’s mind was firmly made up. Now that he had an omega, albeit a reluctant one, Zeke understood Amaricio’s vehement and volatile reaction.
“Nothing.” Tito shook his head. “I’m trying to apologize to you, Ezekiel. I went about it all wrong. In hindsight, my moves look desperate. Perhaps they were. I deeply regret the actions I took and the way it has impacted our relationship. I had my reasons, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to explain why I did what I did.”
Zeke knew what had motivated Tito. It had come out at the trial, and it was the reason he’d been exonerated. His higher purpose had been to save dragonkind. On some level, it was a noble endeavor. It’s just his execution of it had been wrong on so many levels. “That’s not necessary.”
“I believe it is.”
“Fine.” Now he understood what had really motivated Tito to come along on the trip. He’d wanted to confront Zeke when he was isolated and unable to leave. He was there to guard Anshu, and he couldn’t leave the omega alone. He’d promised to keep him safe.
“When you and Amar were born after almost a hundred years of no births among our kind, you were heralded as miracles. But then you both turned out to be alphas, and no more babies have been born since. All breeding pairs are past their prime, and the chances they will reproduce again are not good.” He sipped his cold drink.
Zeke did as well, and he noted that Marcel’s attention had shifted to Tito. He was listening to the alpha’s tale. Silently he waited for Tito to get past the retelling of things they both already knew and come to the point.
“I thought I was saving our kind with this deal. I’d met Anshu, and I thought his temperament more suited to Amaricio. He needs someone to take care of him, who understands his obsessive nature, who perhaps sets down rules so he doesn’t work all hours of the day and night. You’re not the kind of person who does that. You’re more likely to build him a lab in your house than to restrict his activities.”
If Anshu had been his, and he’d wanted a workspace at home, Zeke would have built him an office. He didn’t think an experimental space would be safe in the home, but he could see where a place to work on the research aspects would be desirable. “You’re forgetting Anshu didn’t connect with Amar.”
Tito acknowledged the truth of the matter. “No, he didn’t. But sometimes a relationship is built on time and effort instead of an instant chemical reaction. In almost four hundred years, I have not had an instant connection with anyone.”
Zeke glanced to Marcel. He wasn’t sure he was a fan of the instant connection phenomenon. So far, for him, it had sucked.
“I’m sorry, Ezekiel. I meant well, for all of you and for all of dragonkind. I never meant to hurt you, and I certainly never meant to damage our relationship the way I have.” Tito folded his hands on the table. It wasn’t so much a power move as it was an indication he was waiting for Zeke to respond.
Before Zeke could say anything, Marcel snorted, the sound rich with disgust. “Seriously? You’re apologizing without apologizing? You did some bad shit to Edgar, and you’re talking about it like it was just a misunderstanding.”
For the first time since that morning, Zeke looked directly at Marcel. It was like looking into the sun—beautiful and terrible all at the same time. Marcel was a salve forever out of reach, and that made his pain all the worse. The clamor of opposing feelings knocked him speechless.
Tito did not have that problem. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I do. Edgar told me what you did to him, how you kidnapped him and held him prisoner while you did medical experiments on him.” Marcel glanced at Zeke. “And now you’re preying on Zeke’s good nature, looking for a way back into the fold. You’re manipulating him with your blasé explanation and a quasi-heartfelt apology. You’re making excuses for your behavior. The fact of the matter is that there is no excuse for what you did to Zeke. You treated him like dirt. He was good to you, loyal and kind, and you rejected him and treated him badly. And why? Because you’re afraid of change. You’re afraid of anything that’s different from the way you thought your life should turn out.”
With that, Marcel sprang to his feet, knocking his chair backward, and he left the café. Zeke twisted to watch him walk away. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to go after the enigmatic omega. “I wonder what that was about?”
Tito made a thoughtful noise. “I’m gathering from the fact that you’ve been giving him the silent treatment all day that, like me, he’s not in your good graces at the moment. I’m guessing at least part of his outburst referred to himself and not to me.” He tapped the table, drawing Zeke’s attention back to the matter at hand. “I’m fully aware of what I did and how it hurt each of you. He’s right that I chose to approach you first because you tend not to hold a grudge. You’re generally reasonable, and you often forgive people even when they’re not deserving. It’s not that you’re a pushover; it’s that you have the ability to see beyond the small things to figure out what really matters.”
Zeke had never heard himself described quite that way. He could be hard and exacting, and he was highly practical. Holding grudges was Amaricio’s thing, not his. He longed to forgive Tito. He longed to mend his relationship with the man who’d meant so much to him for so many years.
He got to his feet slowly, cursing the hot temperatures as the move put him directly in the sun. “Tito, our relationship will never be what it was. You can’t be my mentor, but perhaps you can be my friend. It’ll take time.”
Tito beamed. “We have time. Now, go after your omega. He went east on the next street over.”
Zeke glanced toward Anshu. “Watch over him.”
“I will.”
Marcel
SHADES OF HUMILIATION washed over him as he walked stiffly away from Zeke and Tito. He’d stuck his foot deep down his throat, and now he was hoping for an alien spaceship to swoop down and abduct him to save him from having to go back there. Every single time he talked around Zeke Lowry, it ended badly. Never in his life had Marcel been so bad at communication. When Zeke Lowry was around, Marcel’s brain went on hiatus. It reverted to instinct and fear, and Marcel had some deep-seated fears that defied reason.
He ducked into a mostly deserted alley. Passing the huge metal trash cubes reeking of rotting produce, he found a loading bay that wasn’t being used. He climbed onto the concrete dock, weaving himself neatly through the metal bars that served as a handrail and a way to stop anyone from accidentally falling off.
Sitting on the dock, he rested his arms on the lower bar and put his head in his hands. This wasn’t how he’d planned for his day to go at all.
Anyone else who found themselves on an unexpected trip to a tropical location with the man of their dreams would have used the time to strengthen the bond between alpha and omega. Not only was Marcel terrified at the idea, but he was also frightened he was going to lose Zeke forever.
Zeke was the kind of man who listened to his words and gave him what he wanted. He’d stayed away because that’s where Marcel had wanted him. Only now he had to face the fact he didn’t want Zeke away from him at all.
The opposing needs pummeled his head, leaving him with a thundering between his ears that threatened his sanity.
“Is this seat taken?”
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Marcel opened his eyes to see Zeke swing himself onto the dock and take the place next to him. Though they didn’t touch, the fact of Zeke’s close proximity automatically calmed the worst of Marcel’s nerves.
“You know, Tito has been my mentor since I was a child. For a long time, he was like a third father to me. But I’m not a child anymore, and I’ve become adept at my job. The dynamics of our relationship were destined to change eventually.”
Messages received. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”
Zeke chuckled. “That’s not what I meant. He did some horrible things, which forced me to retaliate, and it damaged our relationship. What we have now is something fractured and broken, but if we’re both committed to putting it back together, we’ll build something stronger. It’ll be different, but that’s not always a bad thing.”
“I’m glad for you. It’s hard when you can’t talk to someone who has been like a father to you.” Marcel would know. When he’d put his foot down with his fathers regarding his career choice, it had put distance between them. While he would love to bridge the gap, he couldn’t see a way to repair it.
His relationship with Zeke suffered from the same missteps.
Missteps. Ha. More like hand grenades.
“I have time to talk to you now. What did you want to say to me?” Next to him, Zeke stiffened, as if girding himself for the coming attack.
Marcel shrugged. “It doesn’t seem important anymore.”
“You got in my cab, waited at my house, then flew halfway across the country, and now you’ve decided it’s not important?”
He’d decided it was stupid. He’d planned to apologize and explain, to make excuses for what he’d done to Zeke—same as what Tito had done. When he’d heard the older man speak, it had struck him that excuses were hollow, and they didn’t excuse anything. Actions mattered.
Right now, he had no idea what actions to take.
He waited, but Zeke settled into the silence.
Finally, he sighed. “I listened to what Tito said to you, how he made excuses for what he did as part of his apology.” He broke off, searching for elusive words.
Zeke waited with a patience Marcel could only envy.
Taking a deep breath, he blurted a confession. “I was going to do that. I was going to apologize for the way I’ve treated you, and then I was going to explain why I said what I said. And then, when I heard Tito do the same thing, I realized it doesn’t matter. I did what I did, and I said what I said, and no apology is going to take that back. So what if I panicked and phrased things badly? I was mean to you. I was horribly selfish and self-centered. I didn’t think about you at all, only how being your omega would ruin my dreams. Nothing I can say now is going to take back what I said or erase the ways I’ve hurt you. You didn’t deserve to be treated the way I’ve treated you. For fuck’s sake, Zeke—you’ve been nothing but kind to me. And patient. And understanding. I don’t deserve someone like you in my life.”
At that moment, Marcel realized, despite his best effort, he’d fallen head-over-heels for a man who had every right to hate him. It was more than primal, animal attraction. He genuinely liked Zeke, and he wanted desperately to have him in his life.
Zeke’s gaze roamed the plain brick facing of the rear of the buildings that surrounded them. He seemed lost in thought. After ten tense moments passed, he nodded. “An honest apology means something. It means you’re sorry for what you did and you regret that it happened at all. It means if you had the chance to do it again, you’d do it differently. Tito meant what he said. He didn’t apologize for the parts he wasn’t sorry about, and frankly, I didn’t expect him to. I didn’t disagree with his intention, only his execution.”
The man’s capacity for forgiveness was incredible, though Marcel considered what he’d done to Zeke was worse. “Well, I’m glad you two are working things out.”
“Yeah. We’ll see how that goes. It’s not so much that I’m holding a grudge as it is that Amaricio isn’t going to let it go. My loyalty was divided, but now that I’ve met you, I understand the depth of Amar’s anger and sense of betrayal.” Zeke’s gaze swept the area again, and this time it landed on Marcel. “The things you said to me were cruel. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t matter. An explanation would go a long way toward helping me understand why you rejected me from the start and lashed out at me so vehemently.”
“It won’t excuse what I’ve done,” Marcel warned.
“It’s easier to forgive what I understand.” Zeke flashed a small, sad smile.
Marcel exhaled hard. He could grant Zeke’s request. “My fathers are lawyers, and they raised me to be one too. For my first Halloween, they dressed me up as a judge. When I was seven, we went to a matinee performance of Oklahoma at the community theater in my hometown. I was entranced from the moment the curtain rose. For weeks afterward, I danced around the house, recreating the musical the best I could by myself. It took me almost two years to convince my fathers to let me take a dance class. They didn’t really understand, but they indulged me in one dance class each semester.”
He had wanted to take many more classes, but they’d refused to let him fill his afternoons and weekends with practices and shows. He’d spent a lot of time sneaking out to practice alone.
“In college, I majored in pre-law. The first year, I snuck in a dance class each semester at the local community theater. The second year, my fathers found out and stopped me from wasting my time on frivolous pursuits. I became depressed. I skipped classes, drank too much, smoked pot—anything that had the smallest chance of chasing away the sadness that felt like an elephant sitting on my chest. Six months ago, I tried for a second time to kill myself by taking a lot of pills.”
He hadn’t taken nearly enough. They’d fed him charcoal in the emergency room, and he’d gone home a few hours later.
“After that, I took stock of my life. I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I wanted to be a dancer. Nothing makes me feel more free and alive than being up on stage, performing my heart out. So I moved out on my own, and I took any classes offered at the theater. I danced in a few productions, enough to land an audition at the Verdance Theater. Then I worked to save up enough to get to Verdance.” He smiled as he remembered the elation of landing his first dancing role. Then it faded. “My fathers don’t understand. They still talk to me, but they won’t come out to see me perform. They say I’m wasting my potential. Every time I talk to them, they offer to buy me a bus ticket back there. They say they’ll pay for me to finish my degree and go to law school. Yesterday they even offered to pay for me to be an engineer. I don’t fit their idea of what they want me to be.”
Zeke’s gaze didn’t waver. He watched Marcel intently, as if everything he said mattered.
It gave him the courage to continue. “When I was in the hospital, I vowed that, if I survived, I wasn’t going to let anybody get between me and my dreams. I never thought I’d meet someone who made my poodle whimper. It’s not a thing with canines. We don’t have predetermined mates or anything. You meet someone you like, you date, and then you get married. Divorce is as common among canine shifters as it is among humans. The moment I met you, I knew that’s not how it was with you.”
“No,” Zeke confirmed. “Dragons mate for life. When we meet our mate, it’s a primal connection. Our animal knows before our human side does, and it doesn’t negotiate. It doesn’t acknowledge reason or circumstance.”
“My canine side is behaving that way, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I panicked because I knew an alpha who is as big and strong and authoritative as you wouldn’t have patience for what I wanted.”
Zeke huffed and lifted his eyes in search of even more patience. “You assume facts not in evidence.”
The unexpected law joke evoked a chuckle from Marcel. “I see the way Edgar serves Amar. He does everything for his alpha. And, you know what? I can see myself doing that for you. I can see me quitting dance and devoting myself
to being your omega. I can also see myself waking up one day and realizing I’m monumentally unhappy.”
Unimpressed, Zeke said, “Edgar was Amar’s personal assistant before they got married. His job was to take care of Amar’s personal life, which he never stopped doing. He even tries to take care of other people’s personal lives. That’s just who he is. Chay, the omega who married my friend Koren, works a couple nights each week tending bar. They don’t need the money, but Chay enjoys it. Marcel, I’d never take dance away from you. That was an unfair assumption.”
Ashamed, Marcel dropped his gaze to stare at the stained concrete below the dock. “I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for lashing out at you and for saying horrible things to you.”
“You were terrified I’d take you back to a dark time when you made decisions based on what people who loved you wanted for you rather than what you wanted for yourself.” Zeke set his hand on top of Marcel’s. “You didn’t know me.”
“I didn’t give myself a chance to know you.” Despite that, he had come to know Zeke.
“It’s in your power to change that.”
Marcel studied Zeke’s hand on his, the lighter skin contrasting with his milk chocolate color. They were so very different—in temperament, personality, and experience—but perhaps that was for the best. A mercurial, reactive person like Marcel needed a mate who kept his wits about him and who was thoughtful in his responses.
His heart beat faster as he decided to take a chance. “You’d be willing to forgive me?”
“I think it’s best if we start over.”
“I’d like that.” Joy lit Marcel from the inside.
Chapter 9
Zeke
IN ONE DAY, TWO IMPORTANT people who’d wronged him had apologized. Zeke was flying high, living amongst the stars. Exhilarated, he pulled Marcel to him and captured his lips in a searing kiss that went on and on.
