by Elia Winters
“Okay, not exactly.” Too bad there wasn’t a wall between them right now. He wanted some space. “But he’s my best friend. I’m not in love with him. I don’t want him to give up all his other relationships and be with only me forever.”
“Does he have other relationships?” she asked.
Mitchell frowned. “Well, not right now.” Not in a long while, actually. “But I don’t want him to give up the possibility, either. I don’t want him to limit himself.”
Hannah nodded slowly. “I see. And you think he would have to do that if you two were in love with each other? He’d have to be your one and only?”
Ahh. “This is a polyamory thing, isn’t it?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “I just think you should think about this stuff. You’re clearly not unemotional about him. You care about him. He also clearly cares about you.”
“There’s also the business.” Mitchell knew that was part of it. “Mixing business and friendship is risky enough, but adding something more than that? If it goes wrong, it could go wrong all over.” He swallowed.
“Maybe it wouldn’t go wrong.”
“Why do you care one way or the other?” Her investment in this didn’t really make sense.
She looked into his eyes. “Because you’re interesting. I like learning about you. I like spending time with you.”
She reached out for him, and he walked closer, drawn in as though she were pulling him forward by a string. He always felt like this with her, compelled by her magnetism, and he didn’t know whether the conversation was over or not, but he leaned in and started kissing her before they could decide. Perfect: no more questions, just her mouth under his and those soft breasts pressed against his chest. He tangled a hand in her hair and kissed her, her body shifting against him, pressed between him and the door. He didn’t need to examine his feelings right now when he could just examine her.
Hannah held his face between both hands and drew back to look him in the eyes. She pursed her lips in a pout. “Are you kissing me so I’ll stop asking you about your feelings?”
“Definitely.”
She laughed. “I figured.”
Something about this wasn’t sitting right, though. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
Mitchell walked away from her, hands in his pockets, contemplating. “You have some pretty strong advice for me and Ben. But here you are, perfectly content to play this middle-of-the-road game. You say Ben and I could be serious without giving up all other relationships, but then you tell me you want to keep things at a friendship level between the three of us. Why?”
Hannah blanched. Her smile faded, and she looked away. “That’s more complicated.”
“Try me.” He leaned against the door.
Hannah bit her lip. She might not answer. This confessional thing was still new between them, and she might balk at the intimacy. Finally, she sighed. “If things don’t work out between you and Ben, you’ve got a solid friendship at the root of it. You’re business partners. That’s not going to change, even though I know you think it might. You’ll keep working together, you’ll keep being friends.” She wandered away from him a step, running her fingertip down the handle of a flogger. “But let’s say I go for this, all the way, and it doesn’t work out. You two have each other, and I don’t have anyone. Just another big reminder of where I fell short.”
“Don’t say that.” Mitchell walked up to her, wanting to comfort her, not wanting to overstep his bounds. He put a hand lightly on her shoulder, and she turned to face him, her expression serious, hazel eyes looking large and vulnerable in the light.
“It’s terrifying,” she said.
He brushed his thumb back and forth against her shoulder in a gentle caress. “Sure it is. It’s terrifying for me, too. The only person who doesn’t seem to be afraid is Ben, but that’s because he doesn’t care about ever falling in love again.” Mitchell snorted.
“That’s bullshit, isn’t it?” She wrapped her arms around his waist.
Mitchell wasn’t stupid. If they were both feeling afraid, Ben probably was, too. “Yeah. It’s probably bullshit.” He gave her a half smile. “You think maybe we should all be brave together? Actually…let ourselves care?”
Hannah clapped a hand to her heart. “The horror!” Her smile, though, was gentle. “Maybe we should talk about it more.”
Even this honesty felt good, if risky. “Nothing until after the festival, though. All right?”
She nodded. “Definitely. Now. I’ll see you tomorrow night at setup?”
“I’ll be there.”
…
“Oh shit! I didn’t know you’d be already setting up! I’d have come by earlier.”
Hannah’s exclamation made Ben turn from where he was hanging the last curtained panel of their sex-toy labyrinth. “They let me in to start hanging panels early, since nobody’s using this site.”
Hannah set down the two large metal cases she was carrying. “I’ve got more of these in the car.”
Over in the parking area for vendors, Ben let out a low whistle. “Fuck yeah, you do.” In addition to five more cases, she had several large boxes and a collection of small fold-up tables.
“I brought a hand truck.” She unfolded the device from the trunk.
“You bring enough stuff?”
She put her hands on her hips. “I wanted to make sure I had enough. I can’t sell product I don’t have, Benjamin.”
Ben grinned. “Benjamin? You getting all mom voice on me? Because let me tell you, I grew up with two of them, and this is so not my kink.”
Hannah smiled back. “You want to help me move this shit, or you just going to pick on me all day?”
“How about I do both?”
“How about I drag Mitchell over here and he can show off how much stronger he is than you?”
“Ouch, okay.” Ben put his hand over his heart. “You wound me.”
“I’m vicious. Where is he, anyway?” Hannah looked around as if Mitchell would suddenly show up in the parking lot.
“He’s still working the food booth. He should be along after cleanup.” Ben started to load up the hand truck.
Two trips later, all Hannah’s stuff was finally unloaded at the booth, and soon toys covered every surface of their tables. “Now.” Ben surveyed everything, hands on hips. “Tell me what you’ve got in mind.”
Hannah grabbed a rolled-up piece of paper from one of the tables and unfurled it.
“You made a treasure map?” Ben stepped closer to read over her shoulder, and she rolled her eyes at him.
“It’s a map.”
It was a hell of a map, actually. She had drawn the entire labyrinth and labeled stations along the way, showing which toys went at which place. “I made informational cards for every spot, too. And then there’ll be a quiz at the end.”
Ben listened as she explained, nodding, but mostly just watching her work. She was really beautiful, both for her physical attractiveness and her sexy depth of knowledge. Smart and gorgeous made an enticing package.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Yes.” He tried not to sound defensive, but she responded with a raised eyebrow. “And I’m also checking you out.”
She rolled her eyes, but her small smile said she didn’t really mind. “How’d the labyrinth turn out?”
“Good, I think.” He explained the layout. He’d set things up so people would turn back and forth a few times before ending up here in the main booth. From where they would be sitting, they could see the entrance to the maze and keep an eye on people as they entered. Didn’t want anyone making off with all the sex toys or something.
Setup took a little while, and he had just finished setting out the final information cards in the maze when Mitchell’s voice echoed from out of sight, addressing Hannah. “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Cleanup took forever.”
Ben peered over to where Mitchell and Hannah were standing together in the main booth. Hann
ah moved away from the table display she was setting up, heading into Mitchell’s arms with a smile. Watching them together stirred some affection in Ben, that latent desire for the kind of intimacy he used to have, the kind he had told himself wasn’t worth the risk. When he had invited her to spend the night the other night, he had hoped she would say yes.
Mitchell and Hannah both turned in unison to look at him over the top of the hanging curtains. Mitchell gave him a classic “what the fuck are you doing?” face. “We can see you, you know. You’re a fucking giant.”
Ben laughed, weaving his way out of the labyrinth. “I forget sometimes.”
“Yeah, right.” Mitchell hoisted a paper bag he’d set down near Hannah’s table. “I brought dinner. Thought you guys would be hungry.”
With the sun slipping away, the space was quickly growing cold, and Hannah pulled on a large brown sweater over the layers she was already wearing. It looked supremely touchable, especially over her soft curves. Right, he was staring again. He helped Mitchell spread out a blanket he’d brought and gave him some shit about it.
“What?” Mitchell sounded defensive. “I thought it would be nice. Like a picnic.”
“It is nice.” Hannah touched Mitchell’s arm. “You.” She made eye contact with Ben. “Stop picking on him.”
“He can take it. Mitchell is not a precious angel.”
“I am a precious angel.” Mitchell straightened and tipped his chin up.
“Fuck off.” Laughing, Ben started pulling containers of food out of the bag.
They sat together on a blanket at the end of a labyrinth of sex toys as the sky above them turned to twilight. Eventually, it got too dark to see and Mitchell turned on the hanging lights they had set up for the purpose. These strings of Edison bulbs and twinkle lights were atmospheric, but also bright enough to read by, dozens of them wending through the labyrinth and filling the main booth. In the warm amber light, Ben shared time between eating a plate of chicken and watching Hannah and Mitchell. This, the three of them together on a blanket under hanging lights, it felt…nice. Better than nice. Without much of a stretch, he could imagine this scenario again: at a beach, camping in the woods, or maybe just in their living room after dinner. The thought made something warm settle on him like a blanket.
“The fuck is up with you?” Hannah elbowed him, bringing him out of his reverie. “You’re just staring at us all googly eyed.”
Ben shook his head. “Sorry. Just thinking.” Yeah, and he was thinking in dangerous directions. He didn’t want to want these things. He had done love once, had learned that forever wasn’t always forever and the fallout could be catastrophic. But he couldn’t help the hope blossoming in his breast. Maybe, with the three of them, this could be different.
When eight o’clock rolled around, Ben gave a final sweep of the area. Everything was lit, chairs were set up nearby, and thanks to the patio heaters they’d borrowed, the space felt warm and cozy. Hannah still wore that big fuzzy oversize sweater, the one he kept wanting to touch, and it distracted him until guests started making their way to the start of the labyrinth.
The first few visitors to the booth wandered out a few minutes later, laughing and talking about what they had seen. A bearded guy in flannel held the hand of a woman in a giant woolen peacoat that dwarfed her small frame, and despite the cold, they were smiling and chatting. This was a good sign.
“We have the answers!” The man held his fist aloft. “Where is the quiz? We want to win everything.”
“Everything?” Ben leaned on the counter and faked horror. “But what about everyone else?”
“Fuck them all!” the woman responded, and both of them laughed.
“The entry form is in the corner. Ten right answers gets you a raffle ticket.” Ben pointed to where Hannah was set up at her minishop, the pop-up mobile sexporium she had pulled together close to one of the heaters. “All the product is courtesy of Yes, Please, and Hannah is the owner. She’ll get you started.”
“How’s it going?” Mitchell sidled up to him, and Ben jumped.
“Shit, you snuck up on me.” Ben nodded to where Hannah was working. “Seems all right.” A couple more people were looking around, confused. “Raffle entries are over there, folks.” He pointed. “We should have made more signs.”
“I can make signs.” Mitchell nodded like he’d been given a solemn task.
“I thought you were gonna help me sell beer?”
“You don’t need me for that.”
He was right; Ben didn’t need him for that. “I’d like you to help anyway, though.”
Mitchell smiled, open and warm. “You just can’t bear to be away from me, can you?”
Ben made a gagging noise. “Don’t read into this, you big sap.”
Mitchell still grinned, and Ben squeezed his hand. There was that tenderness again, the one he didn’t want to acknowledge, the one that told him maybe it would be okay to hold Mitchell’s hand every once in a while.
“Jesus, look at her go.” Mitchell was watching Hannah again as more people went over to talk to her and enter the raffle, several of them picking out items to purchase. “Never would’ve known there was that much of a market for sex toys in Mapleton.”
“She’s been keeping it up this long, so there must be.” It couldn’t be easy, though. When they’d started the restaurant, they’d faced so many pressures, and their business wasn’t even controversial.
Mitchell leaned on the high counter they had set up, which for Ben was not a high counter at all. “How many shops have opened and closed downtown? It’s tough out there.”
“We got lucky, I guess.” They had spent enough nights up late worrying about every penny of outgo. Those days were gone.
“Not lucky in business, but lucky to have good guidance.” Mitchell’s expression was serious, distant as he presumably thought back. “I guess she doesn’t need our help.”
“No, she doesn’t. She’s independent, Mitchell. Stop trying to save her when she doesn’t even need saving.”
Mitchell’s expression flashed with annoyance, his lips tightening as he glanced over at Ben. He didn’t argue, though. Good. He had to know this was one of his most common flaws. Always wanting to save people, even when people needed to figure things out on their own.
“Hey, why don’t you go back through the maze and see how people are doing?” Ben nudged him toward the labyrinth entrance. “Make sure nobody’s stealing display model sex toys. Or using them.”
Mitchell blanched. “Oh god.” He headed toward the entrance without another word, caught up in that horrible thought.
Ben hadn’t set any sample beers out yet, just a table topper that announced beer tastings at nine, so he had no real reason to stay by the counter. He meandered over to Hannah, hoping to look as casual as a six-foot-five guy could look in a space like this. She was deep in conversation with someone about one of the sex toys. Damn, it was hot watching her wield it, holding it expertly in her hands as she explained things he couldn’t really hear from where he was standing. He moved over, ready to listen, and a guy stepped between them. “Hey! Is there beer?”
“Not yet, man. Beer starts at nine. Check out some sex toys?” Ben pointed him off to the minishop, and the guy went. Thank god.
He moved closer to Hannah during a momentary lapse in customers. “You need some help?”
Hannah looked around at the table of toys. “No, I think I’ve got it under control.” Her hair was falling into her eyes, and he reached over to brush it out of her face and over her ear, surprising himself.
Hannah smiled up at him. “Hey, stranger. Looking to buy yourself a sex toy?” Her dimples deepened in her cheeks, and he wanted to cup her face in his hands and kiss her. So he did, stepping in, bending to kiss her smile. Her eyes widened in surprise just before she closed them. The kiss was brief and sweet, and when he stepped back, her eyes were filled with tenderness. Too much tenderness, and he stepped back. This was public. They weren’t public, not yet
, not together.
“I, uh, sent Mitchell into the sex-toy maze. You think he’ll come back out anytime soon, or will he be lost forever?” Ben peered into the maze, but he couldn’t see Mitchell’s short blond hair over the edges of the hanging curtains.
“He’s gone forever. I’m going to have to send in a search party.” Hannah turned to greet a young woman who had just come up to the table with a bottle of lube, and Ben watched the encounter with an ever-growing softness in his heart.
Well, fuck.
He went back to manning his counter until nine o’clock finally rolled around.
“All right, folks! Pull up your chairs, your blankets, your freezing-cold bits of ground.” Ben raised his arms to beckon everyone closer. Mitchell scanned the perimeter of the tent area, walking around and watching for stragglers he could shoo inside. What was this, twenty people? Thirty? More if he counted the ones in the back. Shoot, this was a good turnout.
Ben rubbed his hands together. On one side, Hannah was set up with one of her tables and a selection of sex toys. On his other side, Mitchell stood behind the counter, leaning on one elbow and grinning at both of them. Here between them, Ben felt right at home. “This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for! I don’t know if you’ve ever had this problem, folks, but I can’t ever seem to figure out what beers go with my wide and varied collection of sex toys.”
The room tittered, folks relaxing at Ben’s joke, and he pressed on with more. “Plus, the opposite problem is true! When I really like a beer, and I want something fun to match it with, I just can’t tell what’s a good pairing. Can you match vibrators with wheat beers? Do they clash? I don’t know.” He turned to Hannah. “Fortunately, I’ve got Hannah here, of Yes Please, the toy store we all know and love right here on Main Street. Hannah?”
“Thanks, Ben!” She flashed her winning smile and dimples at the audience. “I don’t know if you’ve ever tried pairing beer and sex toys, but we have put together a tasting menu of sorts for you. Only, please taste the beer and not the sex toys.”
