by E. L. Todd
“You’re definitely not a good person,” Dad said. “I hope this serves as a wake up call for you. You’re headed down a dark path. I miss the old Conrad, the man I was proud of.”
“Well, he’s dead,” I snapped. “You can thank Lexie for that.” No one understood what she put me through. No one understood how much she hurt me. “You have no idea what it’s like to put your heart on the line and watch her stomp on it. She crushed me…without regret. I held the ring out to her and told her I loved her and she…left me.” I let my guard down for a second and the tears came flooding. I hadn’t cried once since Lexie walked out of me, and all of a sudden it happened. I wasn’t sure what triggered it. Perhaps it was because I’d been running from the truth for so long and now I’d finally hit rock bottom. Nothing I did made me feel better, and when I reached the end of the rope I realized there was nothing left. The damn had been opened and everything came spilling out. “She left me…and I loved her.” I covered my face and sobbed right on the sidewalk.
Dad immediately came to my side and wrapped his arms around me. “Conrad, it’s okay.”
“I loved her, Dad. I really loved her. I thought everything was perfect…but it wasn’t. She just said no and left. She didn’t even explain why…” I cried into my hands and hated myself more for falling apart right then and there. It had nothing to do with my physical afflictions, just the damage done to my heart. “I spend every night with a different girl but I feel even more lonely. I ask them to sleep over because I can’t stand an empty bed. I pretend they’re Lexie…so I can sleep. I keep hoping if I screw enough women I’ll get over her…that I’ll stop thinking about her. But nothing works. Dad…nothing works.”
Dad kept his arms around me, holding me like he used to when I was little. “I know it hurts right now…but it’ll get better.” His voice was different, not strong like it was a moment ago.
When I looked up at him I saw the tears in his eyes. His pain mirrored my own.
“There’s nothing you can do to get rid of the pain. You just have to wait for it to pass…”
“But why did she do this to me? What did I do wrong?”
“I don’t know, Conrad. But she missed out on the perfect man as her husband.”
“I just want it to go away. How do I make it go away?”
“You can’t.” He tightened his hold on me. “You lean on your friends and family to get through it. You don’t screw models and random women in the hope it’ll erase the love that still exists in your heart.”
I stopped myself from crying because I felt so pathetic. People passed on the sidewalk. Like typical New Yorkers, they didn’t look at us twice.
“I get no pleasure in this, Conrad,” Dad whispered. “It breaks my heart.”
“I know, Dad…”
“But I’m glad you finally acknowledged your feelings. That’s the first step to getting better. You prolonged it for a long time.”
“Because it hurts so much…”
“I know…it’s blinding.” Dad stood up and helped me to my feet. “But I’m here. I will help you get through this.”
“I’ve been nothing but a dick…to you and everyone else.”
“That’s the beauty about family. You can be a dick as long as you want.” He grabbed my face and kissed my forehead. “We’ll wait until you’re finished.”
***
When I woke up from my nap, everyone was in the living room. Cayson and Skye were there, as well as Trinity and Slade, and Roland and Heath. Theo was there, and he was drinking a beer when I entered the living room.
I fell asleep after Dad took me home and I didn’t expect anyone to be there. It caught me by surprise and I didn’t know what to say. Mom and Dad were there, as well as Aunt Scarlet and Ryan and Janice.
They all stared at me with looks of concern.
I cleared my throat and came further inside. Pizza boxes were on the table as well as packs of beer. The game was on in the background but the sound was on mute. I knew they were there to cheer me up. Dad must have called all of them.
I put my hands in my pockets. “I know I’ve been…a bit of a jerk lately. I was rude to all of you at one point in time or another…and I’m sorry. I just…haven’t been myself lately. When Lexie left…I had a breakdown and I lost who I was. I’m sorry.” I blinked my eyes quickly so I wouldn’t start crying again. “And I’m especially sorry to Roland…who tried to be a real friend and I pushed him away.”
Roland didn’t react. He just stared at me with a look of sadness. Then he left the couch and approached me slowly. When he reached me he hugged me tightly. “It’s water under the bridge, Conrad.”
I returned the embrace and took a deep breath. “You’re still my best friend?”
“Always, man.” He pulled away, and distant moisture was in his eyes.
“Actually, we’re still best friends.” Theo came next with a smile on his face. Then he hugged me and patted me on the shoulder. “But I won’t fight over you today.” He chuckled then crossed his arms over his chest.
“Thanks, guys.” I was surprised they forgave me when I was an ass for so long.
Trinity came next. “I love you, brother.” Distant tears were in her eyes like she was crying earlier. She hardly said that to me. In fact, she was hardly nice to me at all.
I didn’t ruin the moment. “I love you too, sis.”
She moved into my chest and hugged me.
“Awe…” Mom fanned her eyes. “They’re so cute.”
Normally, I would make a smartass remark but this time I didn’t.
One-by-one, everyone embraced me and made me feel like I was still important to the group.
Slade came last. “So…you’re done being a dickhead? You’re sure?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Great,” he said. “I miss the old Conrad.”
“We all did,” Cayson said.
“So, are you ready to talk about it?” Skye asked.
There wasn’t much to say. “She just said no. That’s the end of the story. We were in the restaurant and I was on one knee…she started crying and left. That’s it.”
“Bitch…” Trinity mumbled under her breath.
I didn’t defend Lexie because she didn’t deserve it.
“Was there someone else?” Slade asked.
“I don’t know…but probably,” I said. “I can’t think of any other reason.”
“Maybe she just wasn’t ready yet,” Skye said. “Maybe she wasn’t ready for marriage.”
“She hasn’t contacted me once so I don’t think that’s the case,” I said.
Roland and Heath exchanged a look.
“I’ll never know,” I said. “But maybe it’s better that way. Whatever the reason is, I’m sure it’ll just hurt me.”
Roland and Heath exchanged another look.
“What?” I blurted.
“Huh?” Roland asked.
“Why do you keep looking at each other like that?” I asked.
“Uh…no reason.” Roland crossed his arms over his chest.
I turned back to the ground. “I guess I didn’t want to confront reality so I…tried to distract myself.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Conrad,” Skye said.
“We know why you were on a sex rampage,” Slade said. “I’ve been there.”
Everyone looked at him.
“Before Trinity became the love of my life, of course.” He glared at all of them. “But thanks…”
“We’re here for you now,” Trinity said. “And we can distract you.”
“We can go play laser tag,” Slade said. “That’s always fun.”
“Or paintballing,” Cayson said. “We can get a big group going.”
I looked at all of them with the food on the table and the game playing in the background. “You know, I got everything I need right here. Good company and good food.”
They all smiled.
“So, who wants to get a bet going?” S
lade clapped his hands and headed back to the couch.
“A hundred bucks on the Steelers,” Cayson said as he sat down with Skye beside him.
“Make it two-hundred,” Slade said. “I need the money for my kid’s college tuition.”
Cayson rolled his eyes.
Roland sat beside Heath and moved his arm over the back of the couch. “Good thing we never bet. That could get awkward.”
“We could fight over it and have great make up sex,” Heath said.
Roland nodded. “Very true. Alright, I’m in.”
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and watched my family gathered around having a good time. It felt like it always did, where we were a functional group that needed every single person to continue. Instead of looking for comfort somewhere else I should have turned here to begin with. They were all I would ever need—forever and ever.
Check out MONDAY, the free book found at the end of this story!
I don’t believe in destiny.
In fate.
Or in soul mates.
But I believe in Hawke.
My life has never been whole since my parents left forever. I have my brother, someone I can barely tolerate most of the time, and I have my best friend, Marie.
And I have myself.
But when Hawke walks into my life, there’s an immediate connection. Our eyes lock and an unspoken conversation is exchanged. For the first time in my life, I actually feel something.
But he doesn’t.
He keeps me at arm’s length and pretends there’s nothing between us when there clearly is. I’m not the kind of girl to wait around for any guy, so I don’t.
But that doesn’t mean he isn’t in the back of my mind.
Our paths cross again in a way neither one of us expect and it changes everything. Was it destiny that made it happen? Was it fate?
Or was it something else?
Pieces of Me
Book Forty-One of The Forever and Ever Series
AVAILABLE NOW
Click to Purchase on Amazon
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading Skye and Cayson’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you could leave a short review, it would help me so much! Those reviews are the best kind of support you can give an author. Thank you!
Wishing you love,
E. L. Todd
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Another Day At The Office
Francesca
On my first day working at The Grind, a coffee shop in Myrtle Beach, the constant sound of the running blender gave me a headache. Just when it would stop spinning for a damn second, it started up again. Taking orders from customers was a hassle because I couldn’t hear a word they said. And just when I raised my voice so they could understand me, the blender shut off and I looked like a screaming lunatic.
But now that blender reminded me of home.
I’d been working at The Grind for nearly three years. It was a great college gig. It was flexible with my class schedule, and when I wanted to blow off work for a party, it was easy to change shifts with another worker.
It wasn’t my dream job, but it was okay for now.
The shop was dead that afternoon, so I opened my jar of homemade batter and beat it with a spoon until it was fluffy again. Then I poured it into a pan and shoved it into the oven.
“What are you baking now?” Marie, my roommate and best friend, grabbed her apron and tied it around her waist. She reeked of smoke, so I knew she lit one up in the back alley. I tried getting her to quit a few times, but that just made her addiction worse.
“Apple cherry muffins.”
“Hmm…sounds good.”
I was notorious for my love of baking. We had an oven at our house, but it wasn’t as nice as the one at The Grind. I took advantage of it whenever I could. “They’re not super sweet so at least they won’t give you diabetes.”
Marie popped a few breath mints into her mouth to cover up the stench of smoke. “I’m not worried about diabetes.”
“Just lung cancer?” It was a mean jab but I didn’t care.
Marie rolled her eyes. “I smoke twice a day…sometimes only once.”
“If it’s so seldom, why do it at all?” I put my hand on my hip and narrowed my eyes on her face. I wasn’t a judgmental person, but I wanted my best friend to be around as long as possible.
“Shut up and keep baking.” She walked around me and headed to the front of the café.
I rolled my eyes even though no one was around to witness it. Then I set the timer on the oven.
***
“Damn, these are good.” Marie picked at the muffin right at the counter. A few customers were sitting at tables in the lobby, but no one was in line. Fortunately, our manager was pretty lenient with all the crazy things we did. One time, a customer complained that Marie was on her phone, but our manager didn’t seem to care.
“Thanks.”
“Are they made with real apples and cherries?” She spoke with her mouth full.
“Yep. Natural is the only way to go.” I tried not to eat everything I made otherwise I really would get diabetes.
“We could probably sell these for two bucks a pop.” She finished the muffin then sucked the crumbs off her fingers.
“Two bucks?” I asked. “Maybe ninety nine cents.”
“Are you kidding me?” she asked. “Our chocolate croissant is $3.50.”
“Still sounds like a rip off to me.” I noticed the crumbs around her mouth but I didn’t say anything because I knew she would get there eventually. Right now, she was focused on her fingers.
The bell over the door rang as someone walked inside. That bell was a lifesaver when we were doing things we shouldn’t be—like right now. I set the tray of muffins on the counter then smoothed out my apron without checking who the customer was.
“Oh my god.” Marie lowered her voice so only I could hear her. “That’s him.”
“That’s who?”
“That super hot guy that comes in here all the time. He works on homework or something. But he looks too old to be in college…” She immediately straightened her hair then checked her breath.
I peeked over the counter and saw the guy she was talking about. She wasn’t exaggerating about his looks. He really was hot. He had dark brown hair that was a little messy, but he obviously did it on purpose. It was full and thick, and it was clear he ran his fingers through it when he was deep in thought. He wore slacks and a collared shirt with a dark blue tie down his chest. He had to be over six feet, and he filled out his clothes well. Even in a sleeved shirt, the muscles of his arms were obvious. His chest was wide and his stomach was tight. He stood at the end of the line and stared up
at the menu as he tried to decide what he wanted.
He was definitely a looker.
“Ask him out,” I whispered to her.
“Are you crazy?” she snapped. “I’m not doing that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s lame,” she said quickly. “Girls don’t ask out guys.”
“Says who?” I demanded. “If he says no, whatever. Move on. But if he says yes…take him out for a drink.”
“I’m not doing that.” She raised her hand to shut me up. Whenever she did that, I knew she really wanted me to drop the subject.
“Don’t you think a guy finds that sexy?”
“What?” she asked.
“When a really hot girl asks him out?”
“I’ll just flirt a little and see where it goes.”
The guy approached the counter like he was about to order.
“Marie, wait.” I grabbed her arm and a napkin.
“What?” she asked in irritation.
“You got muffin all over your face.” I handed her the napkin.
“Oh my god.” She quickly wiped her mouth. “Did I get it?”
“No.” I grabbed the napkin. “Let me do it.”
Her eyes darted to the counter. “Shit, he’s here.” Without another word, she fled into the back.
I tossed the napkin into the garbage then felt my heart rate pick up. Marie was missing her chance with Mr. Handsome, but I couldn’t let her face him when she had shit all over her lips.
I approached the counter and pretended nothing just happened. Like we didn’t just talk about how hot he was. “Hi. What can I get for you?” I looked him directly in the eye.
His blue eyes were a little startling at first. I’d seen blue eyes before and on lots of people. Some were brighter than others. Some had a mixture of green or gray. His were unusually dark and sharp. They were so pretty they almost didn’t look real. They contrasted well against his fair skin. Every individual feature of his face was perfect, but combined together, the effect was deadly. I couldn’t detect a single flaw anywhere.
