“Listen, smarty-pants.” Tabitha ducked as the first guard brought his gun up. His mouth was still hanging open, but he was trained to shoot intruders, and she was definitely an intruder.
He didn’t get a chance to do any real damage. She took off down the corridor, staying low and zig-zagging to keep out of his line of fire, and arrived in time to knock him out with a spinning kick to the head.
She grabbed the gun and used it to bludgeon the second guard while Ryu dispatched the other two. Ryu’s strikes were precise and elegant as he hit them in the throat and struck pressure points that made the Flexxent guards double over in pain.
Ryu and Tabitha took thin coils of reinforced rope out of their pockets and restrained all four guards. The guards thrashed, but they were not able to reach the knots. Tabitha placed tiny lozenges on each of their tongues. The lozenges swelled to become gags that would not interfere with breathing, but that would have a sound-dampening effect.
The guards stared at her in panic as she and Ryu went to the door of Kenet’s study. A few were jerking and struggling in particular ways that were likely supposed to press hidden buttons and summon help.
Tabitha didn’t bother to tell them that it wouldn’t do any good. They would figure it out sooner or later on their own.
“Here’s the plan,” she told Ryu, smirking slightly. “We go in there and blow his head right off.”
Ryu frowned at her. “Are you making a joke?”
Her face scrunched up. “No, I’m totally serious. He’s a reprehensible jackass.”
“We have a process, Kemosabe,” Ryu said uncertainly.
“You and your process.” Tabitha wiggled her fingers and rolled her eyes before pounding on the door with all her might. “Kenet Fuckface’ra! Open up!”
Ryu groaned and dropped his head into one hand.
The door didn’t open, and Tabitha sighed as she went back to pick up one of the guards. She slammed him against the door feet-first until the door began to give way, finally breaking and sending the guard shooting out of her hands to sprawl on the ornate carpet in Kenet’s office.
She pointed into the office. “You see how merciful I’m being?” Tabitha demanded as she kicked down the last of the door and marched inside. “I let him be a battering ram feet-first.”
“Truly, your mercy will be sung of by the bards,” Ryu commented.
“That’s enough sass from you, Ryu-toshi. And you,” Tabitha added to Kenet, who was trying to make a break for his panic room. She pulled out her Jean Dukes Special and let the hammer click back. “Make one. More. Move, and I will make a Jackson Pollock of your blood on that wall.”
Kenet froze. He didn’t know what a Jackson Pollock was, but he had the distinct sense that he didn’t want to try this woman’s patience. She had gotten into his compound, and she should not have been able to do that.
Then she had broken down his study doors…using one of his guards. She had done everything so far without even using a gun, so he wasn’t going to mess around when she was pointing one at him.
Yet.
“What do you want?” he asked her. He straightened up and adjusted his cuffs imperiously. Mayors, governors, elected officials, bah! Kenet Aljun’ra ran Karkat, and everyone knew it.
He was not about to be intimidated by some tiny human in torn pants.
“I want to know why you put a hit out on me,” Tabitha replied, jabbing the gun at him. “Do you always use government black ops to take out people who mess up your little brother’s bar?”
“No.” Kenet returned to his desk and made a show of sitting down. “Please, take a seat. Let us have this discussion civilly.”
“Nuh-uh. Civility went out the window when you put a hit out on me.” Tabitha gave a sarcastic smile and kept the gun pointed at him. “Hands where I can see ‘em, Gigantor.”
Kenet made a show of spreading his hands. He stared Tabitha down.
“All right,” Tabitha continued. “Let’s get one thing clear. In the past few days, I have been shot in the back more than once and shot in the front by people you paid to kill me. I have been thrown off roofs. I have been chased by cops who literally fell down laughing at the idea of Justice in Karkat.” She gestured to Ryu, who was also bloodied and covered in dirt and grime. “You can see from our clothes what we’ve been through in the past few hours alone. So why don’t you give me an explanation of what you think you were up to, or I swear to God I’ll make sure you experience every bit of it.”
“Kemosabe, I don’t think he would survive that,” Ryu murmured. “We should not pretend that we do not follow the rules of Justice.”
Tabitha shot him a look before staring back at Kenet. “Well? Get talking!”
“You are a wanted woman, Ranger Two.” Kenet raised an eyebrow. “Surely you know that. When a human came into Benet’s lounge and caused considerable damage, I was interested. Humans have long been known to be inconvenient. They cause trouble. I contacted some friends to see if they had any information on this particular human, and they did. They also had requests, namely, to make sure you couldn’t keep causing trouble. I did my best to oblige them.” For the first time, his pleasant mask slipped. “Unfortunately, you appear to be difficult to kill.”
“Oh, you have no idea, cupcake,” Tabitha replied.
Without warning, an electrified net dropped from the ceiling and Kenet ran for the exit.
“Achronyx! Sonofa—”
“Neutralizing.” Achronyx cut power to the relevant circuit.
Tabitha threw the net off her and ran to intercept Kenet. He had the door open when she grabbed him and shoved him hard, using his existing momentum to propel him headfirst into a bookshelf. Alien dictionaries rained down on his cranium as she flung him over one shoulder onto the ground and directed a punch at the area where his sternum should be.
“I am so tired of people thinking they can get a leg up on me with sneaky tricks!” she complained.
Kenet grabbed her hands.
“And I am so tired of these motherfucking Flexxent being so motherfucking hard to knock out!” she added. She hauled at her hands before he could crush them, as he obviously intended to. One finger had snapped, and she shook her hand out while it healed, directing a kick at his face to keep him down in the meantime. “Ryu, please take care of this underhanded bastard while my finger heals.”
“With pleasure, Kemosabe.” Ryu hauled Kenet up and slammed him face-first over the desk, holding his arms in a lock. “Try anything else,” he advised pleasantly, “and you will be taken back to Empire space, where you will face the Empress’ justice. I assure you that you do not want that.” Ryu continued speaking as Tabitha was sucking on her finger. “My Empress has little compassion. She would probably listen to about the first paragraph of your crimes and then casually throw you out into space to walk home. I understand breathing is a tad difficult.”
Tabitha, still shaking her hand and cursing, looked at all the plush carpets and came to a conclusion.
“Achronyx, can you get into his computer systems?”
“I am insulted by that question. I am already in.”
“Oh, really?” Tabitha gave a mischievous grin and switched to speaking silently. All right, pull everything he has. And also…
She gave instructions and listened as Achronyx carried them out. Ryu, who was also listening, laughed at some of them.
Finally, Tabitha plugged in a security stick and entered a few commands of her own. She gestured for Ryu to let Kenet up and held the stick out to him.
“I’ve instructed my EI to take most of what you have. It will be distributed appropriately to the people you have ripped off and exploited, starting with the people you had build this district. Yeah, that’s right, we can see that you didn’t pay them.”
Kenet took the stick and plugged it into his computer. When he saw the number of credits, his jaw dropped. “That is barely enough to keep me for a month!”
“That’s with how you live now, asswipe. Yo
u have enough in there to live a year like a normal person, which is more than enough time to come up with a new way to make a living. I’m being extremely generous. Who the hell needs heated toilets with custom settings that activate from a bioscan? Who needs a dining room that has weather systems and a forcefield to keep any rain from getting in the food?”
“I can’t live on this!” Kenet was panicking, his eyes large. “I won’t be able to maintain my security force!”
“Too bad, so sad. You should work on making people like you better.” Tabitha tilted her head at him with a shrug.
“You don’t understand my position! I have to maintain all this to be respected!”
Ryu’s patience snapped, he pulled his own Jean Dukes and placed the tip against his skull, surprising Tabitha. “You have Option One, which is essentially a free ride for a year. Option Two is, I blow your brains out.”
Kenet swallowed. “I will take Option One.”
“I knew you would see reason,” Tabitha purred. “We have your info. If you go back after the money? Ryu will be back without me to stop him.”
She swept out of the room and jumped on two large statues to get back to the skylight. She sashayed along the roof, trying to cut open the other side of her pants with a piece of broken glass.
When Ryu caught up with her, she smirked at him.
“Why didn’t you threaten to bring him in and blow his brains out?” Ryu demanded. “Once we got in there, you started being too nice.”
“Achronyx and I had a bet going on whether your much-vaunted patience had a limit.” Tabitha’s smirk grew wider. “I won!”
“You’re kidding me.” Ryu followed her to the main part of the city, where they flagged a taxi. “To the docks, please,” he told the driver. Achronyx had told them that he was bringing the ship back to the original port now that the hit had been rescinded.
Ryu looked at himself. “This is filthy!”
“There will be a dirty tax for all the blood and dirt you are getting on the seats,” the taxi driver told them from behind a bulletproof screen.
“What a crook!” Tabitha exclaimed. “Let’s get out of this city. I am so done with this place.”
“You’re forgetting something,” Ryu informed her.
“What?”
“Etoy Walce.” He didn’t feel like reminding her about Dev Zancred right about now.
“Noooo.” Tabitha slumped forward in her seat. “He better be easy to find, because I am not going to stay much longer. I want to find out just who asked Kenet to put a hit on me. And find them.”
“You will be unsurprised to learn that it was a Skaine pirate.”
“Right. We get Etoy, throw him in the brig, and then go find that Skaine bastard.” Tabitha got out of the taxi as it pulled to a stop. “Gott Verdammt, my pants stuck to the seat. I don’t want to know what was on it! Achronyx, pay the extortionate dirty tax and remind me never to take a taxi again.”
Chapter 16
Tabitha
An hour later, showered and dressed in yet another set of clean clothes, Tabitha and Ryu sat in her rooms talking with Hirotoshi on a video call. Their experiences on Karkat so far had not been promising, and Tabitha had not yet decided what she wanted to do about Etoy Walce.
“I don’t know.” She sighed at the screen. “I think the government here is behind most of the people who are doing shady things. They are probably aware of what Walce is doing, and they are giving him a free pass because he helps them cut costs on maintaining the infrastructure.”
“That is probably how Walce has stayed in business so long.” Hirotoshi nodded. “He works for the governments. They pay him to steal food and materials. I thought perhaps he was selling those things, but I think he is just taking a large cut of the profits from each government when he gives them the goods.”
Ryu nodded. “The government here would definitely support something like that,” he agreed. “They don’t care to spend money on making people’s quality of life higher. They just want to do enough to stave off riots.”
“Unfortunately, it seems clear that he has a lot of connections,” Hirotoshi said. He looked at the two of them. “What are you two going to do?”
“Excuse me,” Achronyx cut in verbally. “I am also a member of this team.”
Hirotoshi nodded. “I am sorry, Achronyx. What are you three going to do?”
“Don’t encourage him,” Tabitha warned. “He likes to make snide remarks and insult Ryu and me. And he doesn’t understand the importance of sex in politics.”
Hirotoshi blinked and considered this. “I do not want to know what that means,” he decided finally.
“Oh! See, so I found this gorgeous guy when we were going through the—”
“Are there any resources you require, Kemosabe?” Hirotoshi asked, speaking over Tabitha. He paused. “I apologize, I believe our connection was shaky for a moment. I did not mean to interrupt you. I do want to make sure you can pull off the mission with what you have there, however. We could meet you on the planet if you needed us to do so, or you could rendezvous with us here.”
Ryu noted how Hirotoshi had redirected the conversation and smirked. So this was how Hirotoshi kept Tabitha on track during missions. Ryu knew that Hirotoshi also listened to many hours of similar discussions in good humor when they were off-mission.
None of the Tontos could ever have imagined serving someone like Tabitha. First, because she was a woman, and second, because of her entire attitude toward life.
However, Tabitha’s sense of Justice had demonstrated the value of finding allies beyond the expected. They had learned to broaden their horizons and accept leaders by their qualities, not by the arbitrary markers of respect used in the old world.
Also, her sense of humor was surprisingly infectious.
Tabitha had been thinking about Hirotoshi’s words and was chewing her lip meditatively. “I don’t think we should wait for backup,” she announced finally. “I think this mission is something Ryu-toshi and I can accomplish on our own if we plan things correctly. Yes, and the grumpy EI as well,” she added before Achronyx could cut in again.
“Ryu-toshi?” Hirotoshi asked, confused.
“I think he might be you in disguise,” Tabitha explained. “Or you’ve possessed him, so you could keep an eye on me or something. But the old Ryu is in there. I’m cracking him out piece by piece. I got him to threaten to blow that guy’s brains out, for instance. That’s real progress.”
Hirotoshi was speechless.
“Anyway,” Tabitha continued, smiling at his dumbstruck expression, “Achronyx thinks Walce is still on the planet.”
“Correct,” Achronyx agreed. “He seems to believe that because he has evaded Ranger Tabitha so far, he can continue to do so. In many ways, Karkat provides more of an obstacle to her doing so than there would be on another planet, or in space.”
Hirotoshi frowned. “Shouldn’t we wait to take him on in another location, then?”
“No,” Tabitha argued, “because if we wait, he might steal more things or run away. We can get to him, we just have to be mindful of how this city works. We have had many misunderstandings, but I think we can plan around those and capture him before he has the chance to do any more damage.”
“This guy is doing shit across multiple worlds,” Ryu added. “Empire worlds included. He has to go down.”
“I don’t disagree,” Hirotoshi said doubtfully. “I simply want you two to be prepared. I think perhaps I should—”
“You’re already here.” Tabitha jerked her head at Ryu. “So there’s no problem.”
Ryu and Hirotoshi both glared at her.
“We’re perfectly capable of coming up with a plan on our own,” Tabitha offered serenely. “We’ll be out of here in two days tops, with Walce in the brig. And as soon as I drop him off for a dose of actual justice, we can go out and catch this Skaine bastard who’s getting people to put hits out on me!”
“I meant to ask about that,” Hirotosh
i murmured. “You said you were targeted by Karkat’s black ops on a request of Skaines?”
“It’s complicated, but yes. This is the sort of thing that won’t happen once I put my plan of date warfare into action.”
Hirotoshi nodded gracefully. “I see. I look forward to seeing you again soon, Kemosabe. Ryu, Achronyx. If there is nothing more I can do, I will leave you to your planning.”
He terminated the call, and Tabitha grinned at Ryu.
Tabitha raised her eyebrows. “He shouldn’t be so dismissive of my physical strategy. These curves can cause universal peace if deployed correctly.”
“I thought the lesson from human history was that the result of any horizontal physical strategy was invariably chaos.”
Tabitha didn’t miss a beat with her response. “We ended the call, Hirotoshi. Why are you still here?”
Ryu groaned. “I am Ryu.”
“So you say, but do you have any evidence of that? I thought not.” She turned in her seat. “Now, Achronyx, what can you tell us about Etoy Walce?”
“I hesitate to tell you,” Achronyx replied. “I fear you will use my information in worrisome ways.”
“Now you have to tell me. I’m very interested!”
Ryu looked up apprehensively as Achronyx explained, “Etoy Walce will be attending a ball. It is the first event of Karkat’s social season. I believe the two of you can obtain invitations and apprehend him there.”
“A ball?” Tabitha exclaimed. “We can dress up and dance? Will Dev be there?”
“I am unsure if Mr. Zancred will attend.”
“Get him an invite, too! Say it’s compliments of…” Tabitha considered. “BB.”
“BB?” Ryu asked her.
“Bodacious Babe.” Tabitha tossed her hair. “Achronyx, get us details on that ball so we can make a plan. I’m going to get our guy, and then I’m going to have the best date ever.”
“The ball is tonight,” Tabitha stated. She crossed her arms and stared at the holoimages of the ballroom. “Unfortunately, no one is going to get there until about midnight, so we have to wait to snag our guy.”
Deuces Wild Boxed Set Page 35
