Eventually, Nickie sat up. She clutched the pillow to her chest and leaned back against the wall with her eyes closed. “Why does everything have to hurt so damn much?”
I was once told that life is pain, and you have to grab the joy from it before it escapes or be lost to despair.
Nickie opened her mouth to argue. I…can’t disagree. Fuck, that’s twice in one day. Am I sick? She put a hand to her forehead and snickered. I must be sick. Are my nanos malfunctioning?
Funny! My point remains. Not only are you not responsible for the deaths of the colonists, but you have also gone out of your way to ensure they are taken care of. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
I wasn’t going to just leave them to fucking die, and believe me when I tell you they all would have died if I hadn’t intervened. Now that they have the defenses up and running, they can get this place thriving like it was supposed to in the first place. She threw the pillow back to its place and got up from her bed. “I need some thinking time.”
You mean you need to hit something.
Nickie smirked. Same thing.
She pulled out a drawer and emptied the contents on her table, then began to organize the pile. She placed the already completed part to the side and organized the rest to remind herself what she had to work with. Besides, it’s the activity itself that counts right now. I need to occupy my hands. She picked out a long, curved sewing needle and a thick ball of bonded nylon thread.
Craft projects are a well-documented method of therapy, Meredith offered. Perhaps this will help clear your mind.
Craft, my ass. Nickie snorted as she tied the ends of the coated thread off after threading the needle. I have something a bit more physical in mind to burn off this frustration. She sorted through the materials on the table and selected a rectangular piece and a long strip of material, which she pinned inside-out to one edge of the larger piece. A clear mind would be good.
Nickie picked up the sewing needle and started to stitch the two pieces of material together. “But first I have to work on letting this guilt go and learn to grab joy by the balls before it escapes.”
Rebus Quadrant, Themis Colony, Airfield
Nickie strode determinedly up the ramp of the Penitent Granddaughter and headed straight for the cargo hold they’d never used. The only things in the open area were a weight bench and a big pile of rags on the floor near the door.
Her eyes widened at the size of the rag pile. She’d asked Durq to find her something to stuff her homemade punching bag with and it looked like the little Skaine had dug up every scrap of cloth on the ship.
She sniffed.
He’d even washed them for her. “Aw, Durq,” she muttered. She sat cross-legged on the floor beside the pile and unpacked the sack and a flat, heavy disc from her carryall.
You’re growing attached to him.
Nickie couldn’t prevent the grin that broke out. I know, right? It’s fucking weird. It’s like he’s so vulnerable it cancels out all the parts of me that want to smash his Skaine face in.
Charming.
Nickie shrugged and grabbed a handful of rags. What? Don’t judge me. It’s the truth. She stuffed in a layer of rags and then placed the weighted disc on top before snatching another handful of rags for the next layer.
It is?
Nickie rolled her eyes. Durq is okay. Not just for a Skaine, but actually okay as a person. She packed the rags in until the bag was full, keeping a close eye on the seams to check for splits before she threaded the tie in at the top. Who’d have thought anyone could like a Skaine?
She picked the bag up to test the weight. “Shit, this is a lot heavier than I expected.” She bounced the bag in her hand a couple of times and nodded with satisfaction when the tie held. “Now, which beam is gonna hold this?” She dropped the punching bag gently and removed a long chain with a metal clip on each end from her carryall.
Nickie glanced at a girder that looked wide and thick enough. She coiled the long chain and held it loosely in one hand while she tossed the end over the top of the beam. She missed the first time, but her second attempt was successful.
She caught the end of the chain as it fell and threaded it through the tie, then began to haul the heavy bag up one pull at a time.
You have a message.
“Huh?” The distraction caused the chain to slip through Nickie’s hands. The bag plummeted, and the chain bit the skin of her fingers. “Shit!” She caught the chain before the bag hit the floor.
Meredith’s tone was dry. A message, Nickie. You have one.
Ignore it, Mere. I’m too busy. She paused to wipe the sweat from her eyes and recommenced pulling the chain hand-over-hand until the bag was at the perfect height. A thought occurred to her. Who the fuck even knows where I am to send a message?
I wouldn’t know. The message is from an anonymous sender.
It’s probably spam. Or a scam. Nickie grunted as she anchored the chain to a support column. Or, she snickered, it might be my lucky day, and it’s a dick pic from a disaffected Torcellan noble who just needs me to send him twenty thousand credits so he can cross space to rock my world.
You would know who sent the message if you read it.
Nickie smirked as she stood back to admire her work. Was that almost a chuckle? Well, that’s a relief. I was starting to think your sense of humor didn’t make it into this version of you.
Silence from Meredith.
Oh, fine, if it will make you happy then put it up on my HUD. Here’s hoping it’s the di— Oh. Oh no. No. Fuck that.
What is the issue? It is a simple request for assistance.
Nickie’s lip curled. It’s a fucking babysitting job, that’s what. Some overindulged royal sweetheart’s gotten himself lost on sabbatical, and his family wants someone to go and hold his overly soft hand while he fucks about doing whatever it is princes do.
Meredith tsked. That is not what the message says. The prince has gone missing while on tour, and the royal family is in fear for his safety.
Nickie grabbed the roll of tape she’d brought and got to work wrapping her hands. You have to read between the lines, Mere. Look, John Deblanc of Zuifra, right? She tore the tape with her teeth and smoothed the end down over her knuckles.
It is.
And what stands out about that message?
It is a human planet, one of the ones who chose a monarchy to govern when the colony was founded. But there are plenty of human planets who chose that model, Nickie. Meredith went quiet for a moment. Oh. I see what you mean.
Nickie jabbed lightly at the bag to test it. “I see what you mean?” Our missing Prince John is on a quest. A fucking quest, Meredith. She grimaced at the cuteness of it all and hit the bag a little harder. Like a damn fairy tale.
I was referring to the markers which indicate the message was transmitted using Federation technology.
Nickie paused mid-punch. It was what? Are you fucking joking?
I thought my information was clear.
Nickie sighed. It was. You know what this means though, don’t you?
That someone in the Federation knows where to find you.
That someone in the Federation knows where to find me, she echoed. No shit, but how? We’re all the way out past the frontier. We shouldn’t be within range of Federation communications.
She stepped up the pace of her punches, finding comfort in the rhythm as she worked through her techniques. As always, she made it a point not to examine exactly why she found such peace in an activity she’d railed against in her youth.
“And besides, I only have two years left before I get dragged back to the Federation. Aunt Bethany Anne wants me to find myself, but how the fuck am I supposed to do that if they won’t leave me the fuck alone to fucking think?”
She punctuated the last with a backfist but forgot to pull it. The bag split with a dull rip, spilling its innards.
“Dammit!” Nickie examined the split seam with a sigh. “Whatever. I’m not in the mood
to train now, anyway.”
What’s really got you so riled? Meredith asked.
Nickie unwound the chain and lowered the bag to the floor. What’s got me riled is that whoever sent this thinks they can just snap their fingers and I’ll come running. She propped the bag against the weight bench and made a face at the split. Well, they can all fuck themselves, I’m not doing it. And if the Federation wanted me, then they shouldn’t have sent me away in the first place. The prince’s family can find someone else to save their royal asses.
Nickie left the hold and made her way to her quarters. She skirted Lefty and Bradley in the main corridor. “You two together again?” she asked the bots. “People are going to start talking, you know.”
The bots made no reply, which suited Nickie just fine. She arrived at her quarters. The moment she closed the door behind her, she dumped the punchbag and the carryall in a corner and flopped into the chair to unlace her boots.
Are you okay?
She kicked her boots off and grabbed a set of clean clothes from the drawer. I’m too tired to work it out now. I’m gonna take a shower and hit the sack.
Meredith kept a close watch on Nickie’s emotional state while she waited for her to finish the shower. Her concern was that Nickie’s natural instinct to retaliate against perceived pressure would cause her to slip back into her old ways. She’d shown a little of it in her reaction to the message. Meredith knew Nickie would do the right thing since it was in her DNA, but Nickie had to come to that conclusion herself.
Maybe not completely alone, though.
She waited until Nickie emerged from the bathroom. Nickie, would you look at that! The time lock just expired on the next entry from your aunt’s diary.
Nickie dropped the dirty clothing she was carrying into the laundry hamper and headed for her bed. She lay back and folded her arms behind her head with a smile.
Show me the entry, Meredith.
Chapter 2
Tabitha
Yollin System, QBBS Meredith Reynolds, Rangers’ Area, Meeting Room
Tabitha, Hirotoshi, and Ryu sat across the table from Barnabas while Tabitha filled in some of the blanks in her after-action report. Bethany Anne had ordered their return to the Meredith Reynolds after the mission on Flex, and they’d arrived earlier and gone straight to the Rangers’ area where Barnabas was waiting.
Tabitha leaned toward Barnabas. “So then, Ryotoshi—”
Barnabas shook his head in exasperation. “Tabitha.” He gave her a stern look across the table, then glanced at Hirotoshi and Ryu. The Tontos gave deliberate identical shrugs, much to Tabitha’s annoyance.
They had kept this up since Flex, simply because they knew it annoyed the hell out of her.
“You see what I have to deal with,” she told Barnabas. “Anyway, Ryotoshi,” she repeated, “starts shaking his ass in the middle of the circle like he was born for it, and I almost spat my drink all over the Torcellan noblewoman. Luckily for me, I was in complete control, even though the disguise I was wearing made me look like a sack of potatoes.”
Barnabas furrowed his brow at Hirotoshi, who gave a minute shrug. “I fail to see what bearing your attire had on the situation.”
Tabitha tilted her chair and put her feet up on the table. “Only everything. It was a public disservice. I nearly walked out until I saw that the other women were even more frumpily dressed than I was.”
“But you are a Ranger,” Barnabas pointed out, “not a model. Perhaps you took a knock to the head that left you confused as to the difference between the two professions?”
Ryu snorted softly.
Tabitha’s mouth quirked. “I don’t know why you’re laughing, Ryu. You looked like a peacock in that Torcellan getup.”
Ryu just smirked.
“Fine.” She smirked back, extra-smirkily. “Don’t say a word. I’ll talk for you. ‘May I have a thousand push-ups, Ranger Tabitha?’ Why, of course you may, Ryu. It would be my pleasure to order them.”
“It is your prerogative.” Ryu’s smirk deepened. “I did not have the most outrageous ‘look’ that night, did I, Kemosabe?”
Tabitha glared at Ryu. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Ryu lifted an eyebrow. “But your description on the rooftop was so…detailed.”
Tabitha’s eyes widened as she tried to push the image away before—
“Oh, good God, no.” Barnabas moaned. “Tabitha, why?”
“I promise I was not the one who started that.” Tabitha took one look at the pained expression on her mentor’s face. “Oh, lighten up. You’ve never wondered what you’d look like with tatas?”
Barnabas groaned and held his head in his hands. “No, Tabitha. I haven’t.”
Her shoulders shook with laughter, and she almost lost her balance as Barnabas’ face worked through a series of emotions, none of them positive.
She pulled herself together with difficulty. “Well, at least now you know the leather-pants look isn’t for you, so really, I did you a favor. You should be thanking me.”
They were interrupted by the arrival of Bethany Anne and John. John waved at Tabitha and pulled the door closed, remaining outside.
“Sorry. I’m running over today.” The Empress slapped Tabitha’s feet off the table as she breezed past to get to her seat.
Tabitha stuck her tongue out at Ryu for snitching while Bethany Anne exchanged a brief greeting with Barnabas.
Tabitha went to put her feet back up, but Bethany Anne’s expression told her not to push it. “Good to see you, but what was so urgent you called us all the way home? Couldn’t spend another day without me, huh?”
Bethany Anne’s mouth twitched. “Yes, Tabitha, I called you back from the ass-end of the Empire just so I could see your face. That would be a fantastic use of my resources when we are already stretched with the war.”
Tabitha ignored Bethany Anne’s sarcasm. “And I can’t blame you for that.”
Bethany Anne gave her a very pointed look. “If you’re done? I need to keep this short and sweet. I have more meetings than hours today. I’m sending you to the K’nthel system. There’s a situation there that requires the delicate touch of a Ranger.”
Barnabas snickered. “Delicate? Tabitha?”
“Hey, I can be very delicate,” Tabitha protested.
“You just very delicately fell off a roof again, let’s not forget,” Hirotoshi reminded her with a small smug smile.
Barnabas paled. “Let’s not mention the word ‘roof’ again for a while. I just had the most unpleasant flashback.”
Bethany Anne raised an eyebrow. “A flashback to what?”
Barnabas shook his head. “You don’t want to know. Suffice it to say I tripped and fell into the abyss of Tabitha’s mind and we will leave it there.”
Bethany Anne raised an eyebrow in Tabitha’s direction.
Tabitha shrugged. “What?” She made a face at Hirotoshi and searched her memory for any recollection of the name of the star system. “Should I know about this place already?”
Bethany Anne shook her head. “No, I’ve kept it off the radar deliberately, I have some R&D going on that I want to keep close. The planet I’m sending you to is a spiritual retreat and sanctuary. It’s run by a cross between a charitable organization and a religious sect. They call themselves ‘the Order of Zaphod.’”
“It’s a monastery world?” Tabitha was intrigued. “That’s not the kind of place you usually send us.”
“Not exactly. The Order is dedicated to helping those in need. I found the system almost by accident, and have been funneling people there who need more care than I can provide at the moment. They fund themselves, for the most part.” Bethany Anne sighed. “This war hasn’t just been expensive financially, Tabitha. You ever want to know why I hate the Leath so much and not just the Kurtherians they worship? Take a tour of the planet and visit the people who the Order take care of.”
Tabitha lowered her eyes. “I can guess what that’s like. I�
�ll do whatever I can to help.”
Bethany Anne nodded. “I expect nothing less. I have a duty of care to these people, and they are in some kind of trouble.”
Tabitha tilted her head. “Oh, yeah? What’s the issue?”
Bethany Anne shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure. It’s out of the way and communications there are limited, which was one of the reasons I chose it in the first place. I can’t go and investigate personally. There’s just no way I can leave while we’re eyeballs-deep in this fucking war. But I didn’t receive the last scheduled update from the Order, and it has me concerned.”
“So you want us to go out there and…”
“Find out what’s going on, obviously. Make sure that whatever it is hasn’t fucked with the Order, and lay down some of my Justice on whoever is responsible for any bullshit you find. Standard Ranger stuff, like I said.” Bethany Anne’s eyes unfocused for less than a second, and then they were entirely focused—on Tabitha. “I’ve just sent the information to Achronyx. Make sure you review his report this time. You weren’t in the game on Flex.”
Tabitha felt her cheeks warm, and she opened her mouth to protest but was halted by Bethany Anne’s raised eyebrow.
“I’m not done. I know you’re grieving. Shin’s loss hit you harder than anyone else. But you have to find a way to deal with it that doesn’t compromise your safety out there.” Bethany Anne put a hand over hers. “I’m not angry. I’m worried about you, Tabitha.”
“We all are,” Barnabas added.
Tabitha looked at Hirotoshi and Ryu for backup, but they just nodded in agreement with Bethany Anne and Barnabas. Traitors. She sighed. “I know I was reckless.”
Bethany Anne snorted. “There’s reckless, and then there’s increasing the bounty on your own head for kicks. Running off without your team.” The sound of Bethany Anne’s nails tapping cut the silence. “Not to mention refusing to use your EI to enhance your chances of success on the mission.”
“Damn Achronyx,” Tabitha muttered. “The bounty increase wasn’t reckless. It was a well-thought-out strategy to rid the planet of its more dangerous assholes and to prevent the chaos of every two-bit punk on the planet coming after me for the quite frankly insulting bounty that was originally put out. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I got the idea from you.”
Deuces Wild Boxed Set Page 42
