by E. C. Land
“Because I’m a woman?” I ask defensively as I lean back to meet his gaze.
“No, Vi,” he growls, lifting his hand from my stomach to cup the side of my face. “Last night you said you never wanted to be this person again. From what Chains told me, you hadn’t been since we started this between us. Let me protect you from this.”
My heart stills in my chest at his words. He wants to protect me from having to be Silent Night.
“I know you are more than capable of doing so much more than you’ve ever let on. Nerd showed me some of the stuff he’d found on Silent Night. You, Sweetness, are one scary woman when you want to be. For that reason alone, I’ll never hold you back, but at the same time, I’ll always make sure you know who owns that heart of yours. Same as your body. I will always and I mean always put what I think is best for your safety as well as protecting your mind first and foremost,” he rasps.
“But . . .”
“No buts, Vi. We do this together, my way,” he declares.
Holding his gaze, I realize he’s not going to back down. Sighing I nod my head. He’s right I don’t want to be this person and as long as I have him with me, I won’t be unless I have no other choice. “Okay Tracker. I won’t fight you on this and let you all do the rest of it. Besides, I’m exhausted and feel like I could sleep for a month,” I mutter.
“That’s something else we need to talk about. Why the hell weren’t you sleeping?” he grumbles.
Lifting myself up, I brace my body up with my arm. “I’ve never been able to sleep more than an hour or so at most when I’m taking care of something. And before you, unless I was next to my brother, I never slept more than four hours at a time.”
“Well, then why don’t we lay here and sleep some more,” he suggests as my stomach growls and he furrows his brow. “Have you been eating?” Tracker asks.
“Chains makes sure I eat something,” I say, diverting my gaze.
“Look at me, Victoria,” he orders.
Turning my head, I meet his annoyed eyes.
“When was the last time you ate something? And I’m not talking about a puny sandwich or something. I mean an actual meal,” he demands.
“Umm, I haven't had an actual meal since before everything happened,” I admit, embarrassed by the truth. It feels as if I were failing to take care of my son at acknowledging this little fact.
“Sweetness, you need to eat,” he says softly.
“I know I do and I try to put something in my stomach, but . . .”
“No buts, Vi. Come on, let’s go get something to eat,” he states as he releases me.
Nodding, I stand from the bed and realize I am still in my clothes from last night.
Shit.
“Umm, give me a few minutes to shower,” I say as I rush to my bathroom.
Stripping out of my clothes, I jump in the shower and turn it on. I shiver as the cold water hits my body. By the time it warms up, I’m almost done washing my body. Leaning back into the heated water, I wet my hair before shampooing and conditioning it.
As soon as I rinse, I turn the water off and grab a towel. Drying off, I wrap the towel around my body as I walk back into my room to find it empty.
What the hell? Where did he go? Quickly getting dressed, I head out to find him.
Finding him in the kitchen, my vision blurs with anger at the sight in front of me. Stupid fuckin’ stray can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. This time, however, she’s crossed the fuckin’ line.
Storming the rest of the way to Tracker, he lifts a brow but stays silent as I step directly behind the stray who doesn’t listen. Granted, I’m sure she doesn’t know Tracker’s my ol’ man.
Reaching for the bitch, I snatch her by her hair and yank her away from Tracker. “Don’t you know when you’re not wanted,” I sneer.
“What the fuck is your problem, bitch?” she screams, straightening.
“One, I told you to learn your place. That means watch what you say to me, and second, keep your fuckin’ hands off my ol’ man,” I snap as I cross my arms over my chest.
“He’s with you? I highly doubt that,” she says, giving Tracker a ‘come fuck me’ look.
Turning to him, I wait for him to answer.
Smiling at me, he leans down, capturing my mouth in a mind-boggling kiss. Damn, I’ve missed his kisses.
Lifting his mouth from mine, he straightens. “That should tell the cunt who I want,” he grins.
Well then, I’ll take that answer every time.
26
Tracker
Fuckin’ hell. Watching Victoria snatch the grabby cunt off me has me fuckin’ turned on and it sucks balls that I can’t sink my dick into her pussy right now.
I ended up settling for taking her mouth, showing her just how much she’s the only woman I want, that I’ll ever want, in my life.
“Fuckin’ hell, this is not something I want to see first thing in the damn morning,” Chains grumbles as he steps into the kitchen.
“Yeah, well, at least I’m not going down on him in front of you.” My eyes widen as I glance down at my woman. She’s truly in her comfort zone here and isn’t shy to speak her mind. Or stick up for what’s hers.
“Baby girl, I do not ever want that vision in my head, so shut the hell up about it. Is the coffee ready yet?” he mutters, nodding toward the coffee maker.
“Should be soon. I’d just started it when one of your strays came in here and started pawing at me like a damn bitch in heat,” I say.
“Fuck me, is that why Tar stormed past me in a fit,” he chuckles.
“Guess so,” I shrug.
“Dee can be a persistent thing when it comes to what she wants. Only reason we keep her around here is because of her being able to suck like a champ,” Chains laughs.
“Eww, gross. I do not want to hear about that skanky stray sucking anyone’s dick or otherwise,” Vi shudders.
“Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it, baby girl,” he says, giving his sister the stink eye.
“Whatever, jerk-face,” Vi mutters, turning her attention to me, concern furrowing her brow. “You okay?”
“Yeah, Sweetness, I’m good,” I say, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek.
“You sure? Do you need your bandages changed?” she asks.
“I’m sure, Vi, and I’ll get Alverez to change them when he checks it,” I reassure her. “Now, enough worrying about me. Let’s get you and little man fed.”
“How about you all get out of the kitchen and I’ll whip up some breakfast for everyone?” Raven orders from the entrance.
“No fuckin’ way. You might poison the food,” Blaze says from behind her.
What the hell?
Glancing between the two of them, I notice the freshly fucked look Raven is sporting and the fact they both have wet hair. How the hell did I miss this shit?
“Kiss my ass, Conan. Eat my food or not, I don’t give a damn, but all these men love when I cook. Isn’t that right, Chains?” she asks sweetly, batting her eyes in his direction.
In my peripheral, I notice him taking in the two of them as well as he lifts his coffee cup to his mouth. “I’m not getting in the middle of this shit, but I will say this— no one makes jambalaya as good as Ray here. And her beignets are the fuckin’ best in Louisiana, so I ain’t complaining if she wants to cook. Her momma taught her right,” Chains grins before losing it as he turns toward Victoria. “Sorry, baby girl,” he murmurs.
“It’s okay,” she whispers before leaving the room without another word.
“What the fuck?” I ask in confusion.
“Chains, you’re a fuckin’ dickhead,” Raven mutters, shaking her head as she starts moving around the kitchen. “Of all the people in here, you know Vi loves to cook but doesn’t do it for reasons we all know.” Slamming the pots and pans around, the woman continues to rant.
“What’s so wrong with her lovin’ to cook? What am I missin’ here? I know I’m constantly havin’ to get her to eat or remind
her to eat when she’s not craving something,” I state to which I’m met by silence.
Chains is the one to finally speak.
“Victoria, I’m sure you’ve noticed and can come up with the conclusion yourself, suffers from an eating disorder. All brought on by the fuckers who raised her. They starved her and only allowed her to eat salads. I think she was allowed some sort of meat once a week or so. On the rare occasions she was able to spend the night with Raven growing up, if she ate, she’d puke it up almost immediately. Other times, she’d refuse to eat altogether. Whenever she cooks, she’ll rock the fucker but won’t eat it,” he says and it all clicks. Every little bit of what I’ve noticed makes perfect sense now.
“Have you all tried talkin’ to her about it?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’ve told her that until she starts eating what she fixes, she’s not allowed to cook here. Shitty, I know, but I won’t watch my sister starve herself to death or puke her guts out,” Chains mutters.
Nodding, I glance around the room taking in Chains sulking for upsetting his sister, Raven cooking quietly and my brother watching the woman as if she were the only one in the room.
Without grabbing my coffee I’d come in here for, I leave the kitchen in search of my woman. I check her room first only to find it empty.
“If you're looking for your ol’ lady, she’s out back,” Tyres says as I step into the main room of their clubhouse.
“Thanks, man,” I say, heading for the door.
Outside, I make my way around the building taking in the old looking bricks that seem worn from years of weather and beatings it's gone through. Behind the clubhouse I scan the area finding my woman sitting on a swing hanging from a large tree.
Victoria meets my gaze and my chest tightens at seeing the hurt as tears stream down her face.
“Sweetness?” I murmur her name as I kneel in front of her.
“I can’t help who I am. I want to be a better person and good mother, but how do I do that when I don’t even know how. I mean I’ve put our child at risk by coming here. By leaving you to fight for your life while I planned vengeance. I hardly eat because if I do I’ll gain more weight and be heavier than I already am. I’m not as beautiful as the other women who surround you all. I’m nothing more than failure.” Pressing my fingers to her mouth, I stop her from saying anything else negative about herself.
“Vi, I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, but I can tell you this. One, you will be an amazing mother to our son and any other children we have. Two, don’t ever say you aren’t beautiful because in my eyes, no one compares to you. When you dance on a stage, Sweetness, it’s like magic vibrates off you and puts a spell on anyone watching. And the last thing, when you do something, you do it wholeheartedly, even with your emotions shut down,” I say softly, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
She doesn’t respond as she stares at me.
“Now, how about we get breakfast, have Alverez check my bandages, then we can go over what you’ve gotten so far and end this shit in order to go home,” I suggest as I stand, pulling her with me. “Oh, by the way, Sweetness, when we get home, I want you to put those cooking skills to work,” I chuckle, smacking her ass as she walks past.
Giving me a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes, I’ll take that as a small win. Once I get this shit handled, I can get Victoria home, where I’ll show her just how much she’s not a failure in any way.
27
Victoria
Talk about infuriating. Due to my rescuing Luna, not only did my mother go into hiding, they all did. We spent two weeks at my brother’s clubhouse as the guys worked together to find them, but they’ve all gone off the grid.
Tracker and the rest of the guys from the Devil’s Riot needed to get back due to club business and I didn’t want to be away from Tracker. Not that he’d let me out of his sight anyway.
Luna decided to come with us for a fresh start. She’d just graduated college at twenty and wanted to open her own business but not in Louisiana or in her home state, Florida.
Since we came home, when the club wasn’t handling club business, Tracker and Nerd were working to find the bastards and cunt. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a trace of them.
“I’ll find them, Sweetness,” Tracker said the day we’d left to come home for a little while at least.
Chains had promised to keep an eye out and let me know the moment he has something for me. I merely hope we find Parker before he does. I know without a doubt my brother will take him out himself and put his plans on the backburner. He may have been working for the asshole transporting and whatnot, but he was only building up a trust to get what he really wants.
An ‘in’ to the man he really wants to take out himself. Only no one can get to him without ending up dead.
Since being home, I’ve yet to go back to work at Dolly’s Playhouse, preferring to spend my time either with Tracker or Momma B and Rachel. After a horrific event that happened at the clubhouse, they’ve both healed up, the only one who is still trying to heal is Tiny.
Out of all the girls who worked at DP, she was the sweetest and always had a smile on her face when speaking to customers. But not anymore.
I don’t think I’ve seen her smile since everything. No, she’s hardly left the clubhouse after being released from the hospital. Even then the only time she comes out of her room is to go in the playroom with the kids.
It hurts seeing her flinch anytime someone comes near her beside Rachel, Momma B, or myself. I honestly think being away from here would do her justice. In fact, I know what I’d like to do but I don’t know if the guys or even Chains would go for it.
If she were to go to Inferno’s Clutch MC it would be not only a fresh start for her, but Raven’s mother could help Tiny heal in a way that we can’t. She’s what we all call a healer.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Tracker asks, wrapping his arms arounds my waist landing on my rounded stomach. I still have difficulty with seeing myself grow large and since we came home it’s as if my stomach expanded overnight.
Sighing, I drop the shirt I’d been folding on the pile of clothes and lean into his chest careful of not hurting him. His wound has healed, but it’s still tender at times. “I was just thinking about Tiny. She could really use some help,” I say.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, Tiny is scared of her own shadow, James. I think we should see if she’ll go to Chains’ club.”
“And you think she won’t be traumatized there? Sweetness, I love you but Tiny can barely be in the same room with any of us, she freaks being there and those bitches would eat her alive,” Tracker states.
“I’m not saying to the actual club and if you’d let me finish, you’d know that,” I snap pulling out of his arms. Turning to face him, my hands at my waist, “I think Raven’s mom could really help her. She has experience with this kind of thing. People call her a healer and she’s known for healing not only the mind but the spirit,” I say.
Tracker gets a look in his eyes as if he thought I was crazy but knows better than to say something.
“Do you trust me?” I ask him softly.
“Baby, you know I do,” he says, losing the look as he lifts an arm to pull me into him.
Well, as far as my stomach would allow.
“Then trust me when I say Ela can make Tiny whole again,” I say with certainty as I hold Tracker’s gaze.
After a pause he shakes his head and grins down at me. “I’ll talk to Stoney. If he thinks it’s a good idea, then we’ll call Chains. Now onto other matters,” he says as he lifts me bridal style into his arms and carries me to our room.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I giggle.
Laying me down on the mattress, I lean up on my elbows as Tracker straightens and removes his shirt throwing it to the floor. His jeans follow behind falling to the floor. I’d established a rule shortly after getting back from Australia that shoes came off at the door. Which worked
out great especially for moments like now.
Easy removal.
“Do you know how much I love you?” he asks, running his hands up my leggings to the waistband.
“No,” I rasp breathlessly, lifting my hips just enough for Tracker to strip me of my bottoms.
“Do you know how much seeing you rounded with my child turns me on?” he asks, his gaze locked on my stomach.
“I think I have a clue,” I say, huskily.
Tracker climbs up on the bed and removes my shirt before rolling me to my side. Looking over my shoulder, I take in his grin as he runs a hand along my body.
“I want you to marry me Victoria. To be not only my ol’ lady but my wife. I love you so fuckin’ much that I don’t think I could ever live without you in my life. You stole my heart a long time ago and I was an asshat for being the way I was toward you. I can’t go back in time and change the way I acted, however I swear to fuckin’ God I will do everything in my power to keep you happy. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it for the rest of our fuckin’ lives baby, I own you as you own me,” Tracker says, spreading my legs enough to sink inside me slower than he’s ever taken me.
“James,” I moan, arching my body into his.
“Who owns you baby?” he rasps, his voice thick with lust.
“You do James.”
“That’s right, Sweetness. I do and I’ll cherish you until my last breath,” he murmurs.
With that he slams inside of me sending me into an earth-shattering orgasm to end all orgasms.
Tracker pulls out and rolls us until I’m straddling him. Sliding back inside me, I start a pace trying to find my rhythm. I’ve never been comfortable with this position but the way he runs his hands along my body, tweaking my nipples, makes me feel sensual.
