This time, he was sticking around, no matter what that meant.
Chapter Three
Devin disappeared after he showed Lacey to her room, leaving her to look around the tidy space. She’d stuck to her guns with Devin but she wished she felt steadier, more sure she was doing the right thing.
When she’d been driving out here, she’d been fueled by so much anger that she didn’t have space for questions. Now she’d seen Devin. All the feelings she’d had for him were trying to crowd out the anger, and she couldn’t have that. Anger could be the only thing that was keeping her from falling apart.
She needed to remember he’d left her.
Maybe he’d gone to rehab, but he’d been out for months and hadn’t bothered to get in touch with her. Not even a text.
She didn’t want to think about the fact that he hadn’t been himself, that he’d been freaked out and scared. She didn’t want to think about the friendly room he’d put her in, with the large windows and painstakingly hand-stitched quilt on the bed.
She picked up one of the family photos that lined the dresser, her hand inadvertently going to her stomach. She definitely didn’t want to think about her babies and wonder if one of them would grow into a little boy with a head full of sun-kissed curls.
This situation was such a mess. She’d been so angry—was still so angry—but cutting Devin out of her life wasn’t going to be as simple as a signature on some papers.
She’d known it the moment she’d seen him.
With a big sigh, she opened the door to the hall. It was still early evening but maybe she could make her excuses and just go to bed. She followed the scent of something incredible into the kitchen. She stopped short when she realized that it was Devin’s brother Tanner alone, flipping burgers on the stove.
He looked up, not really with a smile, more just a deepening of the lines around his mouth. “Hi there. You hungry?”
“Yes, actually.” She hadn’t realized it until she’d smelled the food cooking but she was starving. “Really hungry.”
She looked around the room. Like the rest of the house, it had a fresh coat of paint, the cabinets a glossy bright white. A wire basket of multicolored chicken eggs sat in the center of a round oak table.
Tanner slid a burger onto a plate and piled caramelized onions on top of it. “There are some freshly washed greens in the fridge if you want a salad. We’re trying to do better with the vegetables, now that we’re growing them.”
She found the colander of lettuce in the fridge and added some to her plate. “We’re not waiting on the others?”
“Devin will eat when he gets back. Garrett lives in town and he went home.”
Lacey sat down as Tanner slid a glass of tea in front of her.
“It’s decaf, in case you’re wondering.”
“That’s fine, thanks.” As he joined her at the table, she tried to figure out a diplomatic way of asking where Devin was. As the silence stretched, she gave up and went for simplicity. “So, where’s Devin?”
“He’s at a meeting. Sticking to a routine is really important for him right now.”
She put her fork down on the table. “The doctor told me to take it easy for a few weeks before driving back, but if you think my being here is going to jeopardize Devin’s recovery, I can move to a hotel room tomorrow.”
Tanner glanced up from his plate. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. You’re family.”
Tears pricked in her eyes, and she blinked them away, horrified. More took their place until she was sniffling and swiping at her eyes. “This is so embarrassing. I’m sorry.”
Tanner wordlessly stood, walked to the counter, picked up a napkin and handed it to her, his eyes kind. “Take a bite of your burger. I bet you’ll feel better after you eat.”
“Thanks.” She sniffed again but took a bite, followed by another and another. And he was right. She did feel a little better. She licked her fingers before she remembered the napkin. “This is so good.”
“Raised right here,” he said, then winced. “It’s been a while since we had mixed company. Probably shouldn’t have mentioned that at the dinner table.”
Lacey let out a genuinely surprised bark of laughter. “I was raised on a ranch, too. Trust me when I say I’m not squeamish. And this is delicious.”
He almost smiled, and she felt an absurd sense of accomplishment. “We’ve made a shift from raising cattle the traditional way to grass-fed beef and free-range chickens. Organic vegetables. Got a ways to go to make a profit.”
He was a man of few words—until you got him going on a topic that interested him. She tucked that away to remember about her new brother-in-law. “You’re trying for a specific clientele.”
He nodded, his mouth full.
Devin had said that Tanner was changing gears. It made sense in a market where farm-to-table was the hottest thing going. “Very smart. I’d love to see the whole operation tomorrow.”
Tanner nodded. “I’ll get Devin to show you around.” He paused again and she realized that it was a habit of his, thinking before he spoke. “He’s trying really hard, Lacey. I had my doubts, but that weekend in Vegas changed everything for Devin.”
Suddenly, she lost her appetite. She put the burger down.
That weekend in Vegas had changed her life, too. Permanently, irrevocably changed her life. She’d tried living in the moment for one crazy, romantic weekend.
And she’d changed her future forever.
* * *
The sun was just coming up the next morning when Devin heard Lacey come into the kitchen. Without looking, he pulled a second mug down from the cabinet and filled it with coffee for her, but when he turned around, he hesitated. “Can you... I mean, is it okay for you to have coffee?”
“Yep, I’m allowed one cup, which is good for everyone’s health and well-being.” She was dressed in jeans and boots and a loose T-shirt, her long dark hair in a ponytail. He tried to get a surreptitious glance at her stomach to see if there was any evidence at all of the babies growing there, but if there was, he couldn’t see it.
She blew on the surface of the coffee and took a small test sip, her eyes closing as she swallowed.
He wasn’t sure what to say to her or how to interact with her while sober and after...all that had happened between them. Which was one of the reasons he’d stayed away. How did you have a normal conversation with someone after... There was a reason that kind of stuff was saved for marriage. Of course, they were actually married, an event that Devin wished with all his heart that he could remember.
Bringing the mug to his lips, he washed down the last of his sausage biscuit. “Tanner’s already out in the field, but he said you wanted a tour of the farm?”
She nodded with just a flicker of a smile, but he was taken back. A flash of a memory, of Lacey smiling up at him, secret laughter in her eyes. Now, at best, those eyes were wary.
“Grab a biscuit. Reggie’s the only horse here now, otherwise, we could ride, but you can see a lot walking.” He finished his coffee and swiveled to put his mug in the dishwasher before picking up his cane.
Lacey looked at the biscuits loaded with sausage and turned a shade of green Devin wasn’t sure he’d seen before.
“Ah... Maybe wait on the biscuit. I’ll make some plain ones tomorrow.”
“You made those?”
“I did. I had to pick up some skills to make myself useful around here. Not much call for washed-up bronc riders.” The words were getting easier, but letting go of the dream was still hard. He’d wanted to rodeo as long as he could remember. “I can make you something else?”
“Coffee’s fine for now. And I’d love to see the farm.” She stepped through the door, coffee in hand.
Devin pulled the front door shut behind them and stepped out into early-morning not-yet-stifling humidity. The birds were
singing and he could hear the cows shuffling in the pasture. It was his favorite time of day.
“Are you okay to walk all over the farm?”
He shot her a grin. “Thanks for asking, but yeah, I make do.”
She hesitated. Then asked, “What happened to you, Devin? You were favoring the good ankle, but you were competing. You were walking without a cane.”
He went a few paces without speaking. There wasn’t a simple answer. “It might be easier if I start at the beginning.”
They ambled together down the dirt road toward the back of the property, one of Tanner’s dogs, a Rottweiler-shepherd mix named Sadie keeping pace beside them. “I’m not blaming anyone, okay? Because I take responsibility for all the stuff I did. But, if you want to know how it started, I came off a horse training in Colorado and landed funny on my shoulder.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I vaguely remember that.”
“It wasn’t dislocated, but I think maybe I strained a ligament or something. I went to the medical room to have it checked out and they gave me some painkillers so I could ride that night.”
“For a strained shoulder?” She looked a little dubious.
“Yeah. I’m not saying they did the wrong thing, but the next time I had a little injury, I went back. More painkillers. And before I knew it, I needed pills to get through the day. I started riding broncs, instead of sticking to cutting, which I knew. And every day I got a little more reckless with my safety. Every day, I’d get a little more hurt. And the whole thing was a giant messed-up circle.”
Lacey walked in silence beside him for a few feet until they broke through the trees. In front of them was a field of sunflowers. Their happy yellow faces were turned toward the east, where the sun was just breaking over the trees.
She caught her breath. “Oh, this is gorgeous.”
“We’ll cut these starting tomorrow. We sell them to people who sell flowers at area farmers markets.” He pointed through the trees. “Back that way, in the woods, Tanner’s got some pigs. Not many right now because we’re just learning, but the sausage in our biscuits this morning... Uh, never mind.”
She looked away, but there was a curve to her lips when she looked back. “It sounds like you guys have a plan.”
“Yeah. It’s slow, but as word gets out, a few people are starting to place orders and stuff.”
They walked another trail and came out on the far side of the pond. It was visible from the house but just a hint of a gleam in the distance. Years ago, his mother had put two Adirondack chairs in a clearing under a big oak tree. He’d painted them a bright cheerful yellow to match the swing on the front porch the first week he’d been home.
“Want to sit for a few minutes?” When Lacey nodded, he dropped into one of the chairs, stretching his leg out in front of him, resting his hand on the head of the dog, who settled beside him.
Lacey sat quietly in the chair next to him. He pointed up in the tree. “See that scraggly end of a rope tied around that branch up there? Garrett and I used to swing out over the pond and drop. Tanner, too, but he was older. My mom would sit here. She’d always squeal when the cold water splashed her.”
A smile tugged at his lips. Thoughts of his mom were always a little bittersweet. Even all these years later he missed her.
“I bet you found lots of ways to make the water splash her.”
Lacey’s voice broke into his thoughts and he glanced at her, forcing the easy smile. “How’d you guess? Garrett would never splash Mom on purpose. He was always the people pleaser. Middle-child thing, maybe.”
“And you were the baby, the boundary pusher.”
Black sheep. That’s how he always thought of himself. The troublemaker of the family, the one who didn’t quite fit. “Yeah, not much has changed, I guess.”
“I knew you were partying and I knew you were taking crazy risks, but I didn’t know why. Devin, why didn’t you ask someone for help? Why didn’t you ask me?”
He’d wondered when she would circle back to that. He looked out over the pond, sparkling in the morning light, and let the peace seep into him. God knew he needed it. “I didn’t want you to know how bad things had gotten. I didn’t want anyone to know, but especially you.”
He blew out a frustrated breath, lifting one shoulder and letting it drop. “You can see how well that turned out. But I also didn’t want to quit competing, and the drugs dulled the pain.”
When he glanced back at her, her brown eyes were wide and serious. “So that’s why you use a cane now. Because you’re in pain all the time and now there are no drugs?”
“I kept riding broncs with an ankle that was held together with pins and screws and luck. So yeah, that’s why I need a cane.” He stood and helped Lacey to her feet, holding her hand just a second too long, wishing for something he couldn’t even name. “Come on, we’ve got more to see.”
He led her down the trail that wound around the pond and to the backside of the cow pasture. The cows followed them along the fence, pets as much as they were product. But that was kind of the point, according to Tanner. A low-stress environment was good for the animals.
She walked slowly beside him, matching her pace to his. “Cows are peaceful, I think, especially when they’re just grazing in a field.”
“I think so, too. I like hearing them.” He glanced over at her, hardly believing that she was here beside him when he’d thought he might never see her again.
He opened the gate to the backyard. “I’ll get in trouble if I don’t do my chores, so I’m going to check the nesting boxes for eggs. You can wait on the porch or I’ll meet you inside if you’re ready for something to eat.”
“Oh, that sounds like a good plan. I’ll see you inside.”
Devin opened the back of the chicken coop and removed over a dozen eggs, but his mind was in the house, where Lacey was waiting. They’d talked about a lot of things this morning, but the one topic they’d studiously avoided was what happened next.
It was tempting to continue avoiding it, to hang on to that small bit of peace they’d managed to scrape together this morning, but he didn’t choose comfort over the more difficult option anymore. He couldn’t run from hard things.
Back in the kitchen, he waited until the eggs were safely put away before washing his hands and sitting down beside her. “You like the farm?”
“Love it. Tanner’s done such a careful job planning. It’s amazing.”
“Good. I have a proposition for you.”
She went still. “Am I going to like this proposition?”
“Probably...not. But in the end, you get what you want.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “Tell me what you have in mind.”
“I’ll sign the divorce papers on one condition.”
Lacey closed her eyes. When she opened them, the wariness that had disappeared during their walk this morning was back. For a little while, it had almost been like old times. And he was holding out hope that she’d felt it, too.
“What’s the condition?”
He took a deep breath. “You stay here at the ranch until the babies are born. We’ll still have to work out custody and all that, but after they’re born, if you still want me to, I’ll sign the papers.”
“Devin, I have a life—a family—in Oklahoma. I’m staying for a few weeks if the OB says I need to, but I have to go home.” She placed both hands on the table and pushed to her feet. “It’s a crazy idea.”
“It probably is, but that’s the deal.” He was so nervous, but he forced himself to keep a relaxed position in the chair.
“You know I could take you to court anyway.”
“I know, but I’m really hoping you won’t. Give me a chance to show you that I can be a better person. That I can be a man who’ll show up for his family. If you don’t stay, you’ll never know.”
There were twin
spots of color high on her cheekbones. “I need some time to think about this, Devin.”
“You can have all the time you need.” A fragment of a memory flashed in his mind, the two of them outside a hotel room door, her hand on his cheek and love in her eyes. It took his breath away.
He prayed that once she gave it some thought, she would want to stay.
And he would have a second chance.
Chapter Four
Lacey was 100 percent sure she’d lost her mind. She’d spent the previous day, including the last eight hours when she should’ve been asleep, trying to decide if she should stay in Red Hill Springs.
She didn’t even want to go into the kitchen for breakfast and she was starving. It would be a long six months if she spent the whole time avoiding Devin.
The reasons she’d come here for a divorce hadn’t changed. Devin was a risk-taker, the life of the party, a crowd-thrilling rodeo standout. He said he’d changed, but desperation had gotten him to this point. What would happen to her when he wasn’t desperate anymore?
He’d left her.
He’d lied to her.
Her hand spread across the barely visible rise in her abdomen where their babies were growing. She leaned her head against the door to the bedroom, praying for guidance, for wisdom...for backbone, even.
The back door slammed and she jumped away from the bedroom door, her heart pounding in her chest until she realized it was the guys going out to work. She cracked the door, slowly letting out a breath. Sadie lifted her head and gave a soft woof.
Otherwise, silence.
Feeling like she should be on tiptoe, she eased down the hall, through the living room and into the kitchen with Sadie shadowing her. Fluffy white biscuits were waiting for her on top of the stove and for a second she stared at them. Devin had remembered to make them plain. It was a small thing, but she tucked it away in her mind. She picked one up from the pan, slathered it with butter and took a big bite, her eyes nearly crossing. It was so good.
The Cowboy's Twin Surprise Page 3
