“I know what to do. I’ve raised at least a dozen bottle babies in my time. You go get dry before you get sick, too.”
Devin looked up ruefully. “Do you know where my cane is?”
Asking her for it was hard enough, and to her credit, she made no comment, just handed him his cane from the corner of the room. With the cane taking his weight, he slowly gained his feet. “Thanks, Lacey.”
At his side, she turned her face to his. “When you get through changing, I made some taco soup. It’s warming on the stove.”
He stared into her brown eyes, so clear and expressive. If things had been different, he would have pulled her close and kissed her until those beautiful eyes melted on his.
She put a hand to her hair. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
Devin shook his head. “No. I just like being with you. That’s all.”
A silence hung in the living room, except for the sound of the rain on the roof and the soup simmering on the stove. Lacey put her hand to his cheek, caressing it with her thumb. She hesitated, maybe afraid to say something she would regret. Finally, she said, “I like being with you, too.”
If wishes were fishes, his mother used to say. She would never finish her sentence. If wishes were fishes...what? He’d said that often enough to her as he was growing up. She would shrug with a smile and tell him one day he would understand. She was right. Now he knew. Fish were plentiful. Wishes coming true, not so much.
With his slow, halting gait, he started up the stairs. If he was blessed enough that one of those wishes came true, it would be that Lacey would trust him with her heart.
Because if he had another chance, he would guard it with his life.
Chapter Ten
Lacey roused slowly, feeling like she was climbing out of a deep hole and someone was bumping her legs as she tried to climb. She squinched her eyes tightly closed, waving the person away with a grumble. “Stop it—I’m tired.”
She started climbing again but the nudges to her legs continued. Struggling to a seated position on the couch, she opened her eyes and looked down. Big dark brown eyes with the longest lashes she’d ever seen blinked at her before a smooth, wet tongue streaked out and wrapped around her wrist.
“Hi, baby.” Laughing, she leaned forward and scratched the calf between the ears and under the chin. He reminded her of a puppy—a really, really big puppy—wanting to play. “Oh, you are cute. You remind me of Sadie.”
Hearing her name, the dog lifted her head, then laid it back down with a subtle groan. Yeah, it had been a long night, but the little calf was standing on wobbly legs and bumping her knees with his head, trying to get her to feed him. Thank goodness. One more thump from the calf’s nose and Lacey began the process of heaving her off-balance body to stand up. “Okay, okay. I’m getting up.”
Thunder rumbled in the distance and, through the half-closed blinds, Lacey caught a glimpse of the pearl-gray sky. So, the storms were still rolling through. Neither she nor Devin had gotten much sleep. They’d put the little calf on one of Sadie’s dog beds. He’d been so weak he couldn’t lift his head, much less have the strength to drink from a bottle. It had been so rushed and so touch-and-go that they hadn’t even wanted to name him.
She and Devin had taken turns giving him “doses” of colostrum with a turkey baster and Sadie had mothered him, too, licking his face and cleaning him up. Lacey had taken a deep breath and girded herself for the heartbreak of his not making it through the night. She was so happy she’d been wrong.
He’d apparently gotten enough calories for a jump start because he was now trying to munch her fingers, looking for one that would feed him.
Lacey pushed to her feet as Devin stepped out of the kitchen, carrying tongs and wearing a bright red apron. “I thought I heard some noise out here. Well, how about that? Nemo is up.”
“Nemo?”
“We were bonding in the middle of the night and I had to call him something. He was lost and we had to find him? Get it?” He pointed the tongs at her. “You wanna try to do better?”
“Nope. I’m good with it. But just so you know, I’m naming the babies.” The calf butted her in the backside. “We better get Nemo a bottle before he has a meltdown.”
He grinned. “Already got one made. I was feeling hopeful.”
“I’ll check on breakfast while you try the bottle. I don’t want him to decide he needs to head-butt the babies.”
“Oh, good thought. The spoon for the grits is by the stove.”
“Got it.” She lifted the lid to the pot and backed away from the steam before giving it a stir. “I’ve never had a calf in the house, but I’m an expert at bottle-feeding. My dad doesn’t believe in feeders, so we always had at least a few bottle babies each season.”
Tanner stepped into the kitchen from the back porch, taking off his wet hat. “Hand-feeding is better. It doesn’t last long and the calves are healthier. He looks like he’s getting his strength back.”
Devin held the bottle where Nemo could reach it and turned to the side so he wouldn’t get head-butted in a sensitive area. She grinned. Seemed like Devin had some experience with bottle-feeding calves, as well.
Tanner knelt down and when Nemo grabbed hold of the teat, he steadied the calf’s head so he could stay latched on. Nemo sucked down the bottle in about two minutes flat and knocked into Devin’s hip, wanting more.
“So here’s a question—where are we going to put him now that he’s on his feet?” Tanner looked up from where he knelt on the floor. “Any thoughts?”
“He needs a bib.”
“That’s your thought?” Tanner blinked seriously.
Lacey tossed him a dishrag, which he used to wipe the little cow’s slobbery mouth. When Tanner thought she wasn’t looking, he gave Nemo a rub behind the ears before standing up. Lacey smiled to herself. I see you, tough guy.
“These are almost ready.” She took the lid off the pot of grits and stirred it again from the bottom, fixing her gaze on Devin. “What if we put him in the ring next to the barn?”
Devin shrugged. “It could work. We’re going to have to get the calf a buddy of some kind or he’s going to be lonely...and loud.”
“No more animals.” Tanner pointed to himself. “Not Noah,” he said, then gestured to the barn. “Not an ark. I mean it, Devin. He can have Sadie.”
The dog, who’d moved her sleeping position from the living room to under the kitchen table, huffed softly as she heard her name. Tanner patted her head. “See, she’s already looking forward to it.”
He grabbed a biscuit with ham from the pan where they were warming. “Put the calf in the laundry room on the dog bed until we’re sure he’s stable and then we’ll move him outside.”
“When it stops raining,” Lacey interjected into the conversation, then immediately felt like she should turn around and see who gave that order to Devin’s brother.
Tanner stopped and stared at her for a few seconds. Long enough for Devin to notice and look up, his eyes traveling from Tanner to Lacey and back again.
“When it stops raining,” Tanner conceded.
She smiled. “Perfect. No grits for you?”
“No, I’m going to take the opportunity since it’s raining to pay some bills.” He grimaced. “Or open some bills, anyway. Which reminds me, Devin, there’s a stack of mail that’s been piling up on my desk for you. Can you come and get it?”
“Coming.” Devin picked up his cane, leaned toward Lacey and stage-whispered. “I want grits.”
She elbowed him. “I know. Can one of you take the calf to the laundry room on your way out, please?”
Tanner picked up the calf with a grunt. “He’s going outside as soon as it stops raining.” In answer, Nemo laid his head on Tanner’s shoulder.
Lacey pressed her lips together. Tanner was toast. He didn’t even have a chance a
gainst those long brown eyelashes. And the calf? She was pretty sure it already thought it was a dog. With quick, efficient motions, she loaded their bowls with grits and sprinkled cheese over the top. She put a ham biscuit on the plate with some of the melon she’d cut up last night while the guys had been out searching for the calf.
Devin came back with a stack of mail that he tossed on the table. “I’m starving. That looks delicious, thank you.”
They ate quietly, Devin tucking into the grits like he’d never seen food before. Lacey ate her grits and biscuit and sat back, sipping her single cup of coffee.
Devin picked up his mug and leaned back in his chair, shoulders slumping. “I’m exhausted. How much do you think we were up last night?”
“I don’t know. We were both awake until around four, I think. I passed out on the couch after that. Did you sleep at all?”
“About an hour, I think, maybe two, if you count dozing in between trying to feed Nemo.”
“I’m so tired.” Lacey stared blankly at a spot on the wall. “This is what the next year of our life is going to be like.”
“At least. What about when they’re teenagers? We can’t sleep then.”
She turned wide eyes on him. “I didn’t know night before last was the last time I’d get to sleep for eighteen years. I should’ve enjoyed it more.”
Devin laughed. “I have an idea... We’ll take turns sleeping.”
Lacey looked down into her mug. Joking with Devin reminded her of how things used to be. As much as she loved it, she couldn’t take things for granted anymore. He was trying, but they had a long way to go before she would trust that he would stay if things got hard. And things would get hard.
He’d been the life of the party and the darling of the rodeo circuit for the last five years. She’d been in love with him longer than that. But when he left her in that hotel room alone, it broke something between them. Something she wasn’t sure she could get back.
She took a deep breath, drained her remaining coffee and pushed away from the table. Sitting here, laughing with Devin... It was a little too much like actually being married. And that realization just made things hurt worse.
* * *
Devin’s smile slowly faded. He didn’t know what happened. One second they’d been commiserating about the state of their sleep for the next eighteen years, and the next she was contemplating the bottom of her coffee mug as if it held the secrets of the universe.
But that wasn’t exactly true. He did know what happened. She was scared. And it was because of him. He just wished it didn’t cause an ache in his heart every time she pulled away from him.
He grabbed the pile of mail and tried to focus. If he didn’t sort through it, Tanner would be disappointed in him. And he was doing everything possible to make sure that didn’t happen.
He flipped through the envelopes.
There were a few small outstanding bills he needed to pay. A request from an acquaintance—someone who hadn’t been notified of Devin’s change in circumstances—for a donation to charity.
And a flier from the hospital. “Hey, what’s this?”
He pulled the sticker loose and unfolded the paper. “Magnificent Multiples class. Cool. It says here they cover must-know topics such as crib safety, choosing a car seat, scheduling—do babies really have schedules?” When she didn’t answer, he went on. “Also what to expect in labor and delivery and a tour of the hospital. It says here, not mandatory but strongly recommended. Do you want me to sign us up?”
Devin glanced up. Lacey’s face had gone white. “Lacey?”
She blinked, shuddered and focused her eyes on him. “I can’t go to that.”
Devin studied her face. He knew she was not a fan of hospitals, to say the least, but this was just a class. “They’re just gonna teach us how to make a bottle and change a diaper. No big deal.”
“The class is at the hospital.”
He frowned at the paper. “Well, yeah, but looking at the map here, it’s barely in the door.”
“I’m not doing it.” She stood, picked up their plates and dumped them in the sink.
“I don’t think they’re gonna tell you the delivery is off if we don’t go, but it says here that they strongly encourage participation.”
She didn’t say anything to that, just turned on the water and started washing the dishes to load them in the dishwasher.
Devin stood up, grabbed his cane and walked over behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Her muscles were concrete. “Lacey, talk to me.”
Instead of answering him, she spun, walking away from him, out of the kitchen and straight out the front door.
He braced himself with both hands on the counter. Lacey was one of the most self-confident people he’d ever met. She never hesitated to reach for the brass ring. And she should know this class was necessary.
With a sigh, he flipped on the electric kettle and picked up where she left off rinsing the dishes in the sink. Okay, so she was freaked out by hospitals. He knew that. He’d sworn often enough not to let the EMTs take her to one unless her life was hanging in the balance. He just didn’t know why.
Putting the last dish in the dishwasher, he closed it up and turned it on. No matter what was motivating Lacey’s fear, he knew her and he had to believe she was afraid of the hospital for a good reason.
The only problem he could see—and it was a big one—was that she was going to have to give birth at some point.
With his cane in one hand and a mug of herbal tea in the other, he made his way to the front porch. Rain dripped from the eaves, dark clouds still swirling in the sky.
Lacey was sitting in the chair at the far end of the porch, where they’d had their interview with Buck. Was that just yesterday?
It seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Hey.” He approached her slowly and held out the mug. “Sorry it’s not coffee.”
“Thanks.” She took the mug. “Wanna sit?”
He eased down next to her on the love seat, put his arm across her shoulders and studied the rain. “I’m not going to pretend that I understand what’s going on in your head right now.”
Lacey’s head dropped back against his arm and she sighed. “Probably for the best.”
“So, I’m not trying to state the obvious, but sooner or later, we’re most likely going to have to go to the hospital at some point.”
“I know.” Her voice was small and quiet, so unlike her that he looked down at her again.
“What if I make the reservations? Going for the class might be a good way to test the waters. And when you’re ready to talk about it, if you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll be here.”
“I don’t think the waters are going to be very inviting, but we can try.”
“Yeah?” When she nodded, he hugged her closer to him. “I say we stop talking about the bad place and discuss what we’re going to name our little team ropers, since the big ultrasound is coming up this week and apparently you don’t think I’m good at naming things.”
“You’re not.” She didn’t even try to hide her laugh. “Do you think they’re boys or girls?”
“Well, they can be team ropers either way, but I’m calling boys.”
She shook her head. “Nah, I’m pretty sure they’re girls.”
Devin scoffed at that. “Have you seen me and my brothers? We don’t have girls in our family.”
“Guess we’ll see.”
“Guess we will.”
She tapped his knee. “If you’re right, I’ll make breakfast every day for a week.”
He raised an eyebrow, his eyes narrowing into a speculative squint. “I get to sleep in?”
“If you’re right. Which you’re not.”
“Okay, so say I’m wrong...”
She grinned. “You have to rub my feet every day for a week.�
�
“Deal. But full disclosure... I’d rub your feet anyway.”
“You would?”
“Of course.” That she didn’t know he would do absolutely anything for her made him feel like a heel. The silence between them stretched. He’d been so focused on “winning” her back that he really hadn’t stopped to think about how she actually felt.
Not the part about being mad at him, but the part where she was pregnant and married and nothing was normal for her. At all. “You know, Lace, I’ve never been where you are, but I bet you feel alone in all this and I do know what that feels like.”
She looked up at him and gave her head a small shake. “It’s silly to feel alone when I’m here with you and Tanner.”
“You can be in the middle of a crowd of people and still feel alone. I know because I lived it. And when you have secrets, you feel like there’s a wall between you and the rest of the world.”
Her eyes were huge and dark and tears gathered. “I do feel like that sometimes. I want to share this—all of this—with you, Devin. It’s why I stayed. I’m just not fully there yet. I’m trying.”
“I know you are. I’m trying, too.” There was a hot knot of emotion in his chest and he swallowed hard. “If you need anything—sheesh, this sounds cheesy—but if you need anything, I’d be honored if you’d let me help you.”
She giggled and rubbed the tears from under her eyes with her thumb and finger. “It does sound cheesy, but thanks. I’m already huge. I have a feeling I’m going to need a lot of help in the next few months.”
“I’m here for it.”
“I know.” She turned her gaze to the pasture, where the grass was glistening in the rain. “How about Prudence for a girl? My first horse’s name was Prudence. I really loved that horse.”
Devin closed his eyes, rapidly running the scenarios through his mind. One, she was joking and he should laugh. Two, she wasn’t joking and if he laughed, her feelings would be hurt. Three... Wait a minute. Her shoulders were shaking. He grinned. “I love Prudence. And it’s precious that you would name our baby after your first horse. I’m thinking Elmo for a boy.”
The Cowboy's Twin Surprise Page 9
