by Force, Marie
She never did sleep that last night in New York as she finished everything that needed to be done. Landon planned to leave Vermont at six in the morning and would be there by nine or nine thirty, depending on traffic.
At eight, she took a shower and made an effort with her appearance for the first time in ages. As she applied mascara, she realized she was nervous. What if everything had changed between them in the time she’d been gone? What if she’d asked too much of him by asking him to stay away during this difficult time? What if, what if. The questions ran through her mind, torturing her with the many ways this day could go bad.
She woke Stella at eight thirty so she’d be ready by the time Landon arrived. “You want breakfast?”
Stella shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, thanks.”
“If there is, just let me know.”
“I will.”
Amanda headed for the door, intending to go downstairs to give Stella privacy to get dressed and pack the last of her things.
“Amanda?”
She turned back.
“I just want to say thank you, you know, for everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you these last few weeks.”
Amanda went to sit next to her on the bed and hugged her. “It was the greatest honor of my life to spend this time with you and your mom.”
Stella clung to her for a long time, seeming reluctant to let go. “You really think I’ll like Butler?”
“I really do. It’s the most special place I’ve ever lived. And Landon’s family is so wonderful. You’ll love them. And Simone can’t wait to meet you.” She made caressing circles on Stella’s back. “I know it’s super scary to go somewhere new where you don’t know anyone, but Landon and I will do everything we can to help you get used to your new home.”
“I know people there. You and Landon.”
“That’s right, and we’ve got your back. Always.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure thing. I’ll let you get dressed. Landon will be here soon.” As she said those words, Amanda’s heart skipped a happy beat. She couldn’t wait to see him.
The last thirty minutes before he was due to arrive seemed to pass more slowly than all the weeks since she’d seen him. By the time he knocked on the door, her heart was about to explode from the excitement. She opened the door, and there he was, looking better than any man had a right to.
Amanda threw herself into his arms, and as he caught her, she realized nothing between them had changed. If anything, it had become even more. The feelings she had for him were bigger, stronger, deeper than they’d been before he gave her the space she’d needed to tend to Stella and Kelly.
She breathed in the familiar scent of pine and fresh air that she’d always associate with her love. “So happy to see you.”
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
“I think I know.” She smiled up at him as he seemed to stare at her, drinking her in. And then he kissed her, and the feeling of homecoming was so profound that Amanda realized for the first time that “home” wasn’t a place. Her home was with him.
“Is it safe to come out?” Stella asked from the hallway.
Laughing, Amanda released him and turned. “The coast is clear.”
Stella came into the kitchen with the last box from her room. “Hi, Landon.”
“Hey, Stella.” He walked over to take the box from her, placing it by the door with the others they were taking to Butler. And then he turned to hug her. “I’m so sorry about your mom.”
“Thank you.”
“Is this everything that’s going?” he asked of the boxes.
“That and a few other bags,” Amanda said.
“I’ll load up the truck.”
Within fifteen minutes, Landon had everything packed into the truck. “I’ll give you guys a minute,” he said, stepping outside. “Take your time.”
Amanda appreciated that he understood the gravity of Stella leaving the home she’d shared with her mother for the last time. “Do you want me to go with him?”
“No, that’s okay. I just want to walk through one more time.” The leasing company had agreed to handle donating the furniture and clothing to a local organization that helped families in need.
While Stella walked through the two-story townhouse, Amanda waited for her in the kitchen. When she returned with tears in her eyes, Amanda held out her arms, and Stella walked into her embrace as if she’d been doing it all her life.
Amanda marveled at and gave thanks for the easy, natural bond she’d formed with her daughter. They hugged for a long time, until Stella pulled back and wiped her eyes.
“I think I’m ready.”
“Okay, honey.”
Amanda followed her out of the house and held the back door to Landon’s truck for her, waiting for her to get settled before she shut the door. She got into the passenger seat and glanced at Landon, nodding to let him know they were as ready as they were ever going to be.
He reached for her hand and held on to her for the entire ride to Butler.
Amanda watched the scenery go by as she thought of the last few months and the many changes she’d experienced. Her entire perspective had shifted since the fire, along with her priorities. She knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, what really mattered. Love was what mattered, and she planned to love Stella and Landon and the children they’d have together with all her heart for the rest of her life.
She would get to the other things on her to-do list. She would learn to play piano and conquer the stick shift and give zip-lining and skiing a try.
They’d do it all, including the trip to Paris—together.
She began to get excited when the first signs for Butler appeared on the highway, and even more so when they drove through town.
“That’s the store Landon’s family owns,” she told Stella.
“Is that the inn where the fire was?” She’d told Stella about that awful night a few weeks ago.
“Yes, right next door to the store.”
Landon took a left turn off Elm Street and drove down a long, winding country road.
“Where are the moose?” Stella asked.
“They’re all over the place, but sometimes they like to hide,” Landon said. “You’ll see them eventually, and my sister Hannah has a pet baby moose named Dexter.” He told her how Dexter had finally managed to worm his way into Hannah’s house.
It was nice to hear her laugh, Amanda thought.
“Close your eyes, ladies,” Landon said as he took a right turn onto a dirt road.
Amanda was vibrating with excitement as the truck bounced along the bumpy road.
They took a final right turn, and Landon killed the engine. “Okay, you can look.”
Amanda opened her eyes and let out a gasp at the sight of the farmhouse that’d been painted white since she saw the pictures. The wide front porch had planters with flowers and a swing, as well as balloons and a sign attached to the rail that said, “Welcome Home, Amanda and Stella!”
“Looks like my family has been here,” Landon said, smiling. “The sign and balloons weren’t there when I left.” He got out of the truck and waited for them to join him before leading them inside. “If there’s anything you guys don’t like, it can be changed.”
Amanda was already battling tears before she walked into the beautiful home he’d created for them. “Oh, Landon… Oh my God!”
“Are those good tears?”
Nodding, she hugged him. “It’s so beautiful! How do we live here?”
He smiled and kissed away her tears. “Let me give you the grand tour.” He took her hand and waited for Stella before leading them to a small sunroom off the main living area, where he’d set up an office for Amanda. “You can work and write and read and practice the piano in here.” Against one wall, he’d set up the keyboard that Hunter had helped her get.
“I don’t eve
n know what to say. It’s perfect. Thank you. You’ve thought of everything.”
“With help from my mom and sisters and Dani and everyone else.” He showed them the kitchen, dining room, family room and the downstairs bathroom and then led them upstairs. “I didn’t buy dishes or pots and pans, because I know you were looking forward to doing that.”
“I can’t wait to do that!”
“That’s your room there, Stella. Like I said, you can change anything about it.”
Stella went into the room and let out a happy cry at the sight of a beautiful new bed and matching dresser and desk.
“My brother Lucas made the furniture.”
“It’s beautiful, Landon,” Amanda said.
“Look, Amanda! There’s a window seat!”
“I see it.” She squeezed Landon’s arm as she noticed that the pad on the window seat matched the quilt on the bed. “What a special room this is.”
“Your bathroom is across the hall. I figured you might want to pick out your own shower curtain and towels.”
“Thank you, Landon. I really love it.”
“I’m so glad you do. Come see our room, Amanda.” He was like a little boy on Christmas as he showed them how he’d passed the time while they were apart.
Their room was down the hall from Stella’s and included an adjoining bathroom with a sliding barn door. The huge room had a king-size sleigh bed and matching double dresser. “Also compliments of Lucas,” he said of the furniture. Their room also had a window seat, as well as a sitting area and a fireplace.
“Is this real?” Amanda asked him, dazzled by everything he’d done. “Are you real? Is this my life now?”
“It’s the realest thing ever.”
She hugged him hard. “I can’t believe everything you did!”
“This project kept me from going insane from missing you.”
“It’s all so perfect. I’ve never had a matching bed and dresser before!”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Like it? I love it!”
When the phone rang, he went to grab the extension next to the bed while Amanda inspected the bathroom, gasping at the black-and-white tile floor, tiled shower, double vanity and huge soaking tub. It was like something straight out of a dream.
Landon came to the bathroom door. “Mom and Dad are asking if they can bring over dinner to welcome you ladies home.”
“That’d be nice.”
“You think Stella would be up for meeting the family?”
“Let’s ask her.”
“Hang on a second, Mom.”
They went to Stella’s room and found her curled up on the window seat looking out at the yard.
“Honey, Landon’s family is asking if they can bring dinner over to welcome us home. There’re a lot of them, and we don’t want you to be overwhelmed, so you tell us if you’re up for that.”
“Will Simone be here?”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Landon said.
“Sure, they can come.” She offered a small smile. “I suppose I need to get used to having a big family, right?”
“That’s right,” Landon said. “They’re so excited to meet you.”
“I’m excited to meet them, too,” Stella said.
Landon spoke into the phone. “Stella says she’d love to meet you all, and she’d especially like to meet Simone.” He paused to listen to his mother. “Okay, we’ll see you soon.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to
come back and reasons to stay.”
—Dalai Lama
After Landon carried the boxes in from the truck, Amanda helped Stella unpack her things and put everything away.
“This room is so great,” Stella said. “I can’t believe Landon did this just for me.”
“He loves you.”
“He barely knows me.”
“And he loves you. We both do. If there’s anything we can do to make this easier on you, I hope you’ll ask us.”
“You know… When we first found out how sick my mom was, I felt selfish because my very first thought wasn’t for her. It was for me. I was so scared of what would happen to me after she died since my dad was already gone.”
“That’s not selfish, honey. Of course you were worried about that—and her, too.”
“I loved her so much. I loved them both.”
“I know you did, and they loved you, too. Your parents would tell you that it’s okay for you to love us as well. That it won’t take away from what you felt for them.”
“My mom did tell me that. She said you and Landon would be good parents to me and that it was okay to be happy with you guys.”
“That’s a lovely gift for her to give you.”
“I might be saying thank you to you and Landon for a while.”
“You don’t have to thank us. I’m so happy to have you with me. You have no idea.”
“Was it hard for you to give me up when I was born?”
Amanda made an effort to keep her emotions in check. They’d talked about a lot of things in recent weeks, but that hadn’t been one of them. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My heart was broken over it for twelve long years. I never could’ve given you what your parents did when you were born. Even though I knew it was the right thing for you, not one day went by that I didn’t think of you, or wish I could see you and know you.”
“It helps to know that.”
“It’s the truth. Remember when I told you about the fire at the inn?”
Stella nodded. “So scary.”
“It was, and afterward, I was more emotional than I’d been in years. I realized that I’d boxed up all my emotions after I gave you up, and it was like they were all trying to get out at the same time. Poor Landon. I cried all over him for weeks, and he was so good about it.”
“He’s really nice. To do all this for us…”
“I know. Wait until you meet the rest of them. Did I mention he has an identical twin brother?”
“No way!”
“Yep, and when I say identical, I mean identical.”
“I can’t wait.”
After the last few dreadful weeks, the Abbotts were just what Amanda needed. They came in with food and laughter and so much love for her and Stella.
Molly put her arms around Stella and told her to call her Grammy.
Stella’s eyes had bugged predictably when she met Lucas, who’d laughed at the reaction he and Landon had gotten their entire lives.
They got to meet baby Chase, and Stella had adored meeting Savannah, Caden and Callie, too.
Simone had welcomed Stella to Butler and promised to introduce her to all her friends so Stella would know lots of people before they started school again in the fall.
When Dude and Skeeter came by to welcome Amanda and Stella home, Dude brought another surprise Landon had arranged in advance—a yellow Lab puppy that Dude handed to Stella.
“She’s mine?” Stella asked, her eyes big with wonder.
“All yours,” Dude said, “but only if you’re willing to be responsible for taking care of her.”
Stella hugged the puppy to her chest. “I am! I’ll take such good care of her.”
“I heard you were a very responsible young lady who would provide a good home for her.”
“I already love her so much. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” To Landon and Amanda, Dude said, “I brought a crate and all the stuff you’ll need to get started.”
Amanda startled the older woman by hugging her. “Thank you so much, Dude. I can’t tell you what this means to us.”
Dude patted Amanda’s back awkwardly. “I’m happy to see her go to a loving home.”
They managed to have a combination Sunday dinner, housewarming and memorial for Kelly all in one afternoon. The official memorial for Kelly would be held later in the summer in the Iowa town where she’d attended college.
When everyo
ne had left and Stella and the still-unnamed puppy had gone upstairs to bed, Amanda sat with Landon on the porch swing, holding hands and listening to the crickets as they swayed gently back and forth. “This was one of the best days of my life, and it was all thanks to you.”
“It was one of the best days of my life, too, and it was all because you and Stella came home. It’s so good to finally have you guys here.”
“I’ll never, ever, ever have the words to tell you how much it means to me that you created this home for us.”
“I loved every minute of it. I’m just glad you like it.”
“I love it.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “After the fire, when I took stock of everything, I thought I needed to take really big risks to feel fully alive. But running around isn’t risky. The biggest risk I never took was committing to someone else. Falling in love with you, making a home with you and Stella, that’s the greatest risk.”
“How so?”
“If something goes wrong, I can’t just up and move.”
“Nothing will go wrong.”
“Of course there’s no way to know that, but if it does, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Me neither. See? It’s rather risk-free. I love you. You love me. It’s all good.”
“It’s so good, and being here in Butler, getting to know your family and spending time with people like Mildred and Elmer, it’s shown me that everything I could ever want and need is right here.”
“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. And the puppy? That was okay?”
“That was awesome. Did you see Stella’s face when Dude said the puppy was for her?”
“I did. I loved how happy it made her.”
“So now we have a child and a puppy.”
“Gramps always says, ‘Go big or go home.’”
She smiled at him. “I’m so glad to go big with you in our new home.”
