“Never. I will protect you. I swear.”
They grinned at each other, touching noses. It felt so good to have this love, this acceptance.
Halian squeezed him, holding him tight and making him gasp.
“Be good, little wolf.”
“I thought I was.”
Nathan chuckled. “Well, you are, but I don’t want to—”
Halian cut him off with a finger over his mouth. “You’re not going to hurt me. I was made for you.” Halian arched, licking his lips.
He smiled against that finger. Well. When Halian put it that way, who was he to disappoint?
6
Halian yawned, trying to keep his eyes open. Gosh, why was he so tired? He never needed more than a few hours’ sleep, and he had to meet Owen.
He headed across the little footbridge, his head pounding by the time he was halfway across, his sight swimming. Goodness.
Hand to his head, he staggered a little, trying to right himself. Nausea rose in his throat. Oh, wow.
“Are you all right, friend?” A young woman with bright gold eyes stared at him.
“I’m meeting a friend for lunch.”
“You don’t look well. How can I help?” She grabbed him when he stumbled again.
“I don’t know.” He swallowed hard. What was wrong with him? “I’m supposed to meet him at the Grind. It’s on the other side of the bridge.”
“I don’t think you’ll make it. I can call someone.”
He shook his head, and it spun instead of clearing. He didn’t have phone numbers. Soon. Soon, he’d have a phone.
“Who can I take you to?” She was half holding him up now.
“Dude. Dude, Halian? Is that you?”
He blinked up. Was it him? “No, you’re Ashkii.”
Ash’s pretty dreads swam where they dangled in front of him. “What happened, Cari?”
“He’s stumbling and dizzy. Says he’s going to meet someone?”
“Owen. They were supposed to meet for lunch on the other side.”
“Ah. Well, can you get him help? Can I call someone?”
“Nathan. Call Nathan. Come over here and sit, Halian. Poor guy.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong. I was fine a bit ago.”
“How long ago?” Ash had him sitting down, head down, fanning him.
“Nathan? Nathan, what’s wrong?”
“Cari?” Ashkii frowned. “Hang up. Call Mai for me. Tell him I need help.”
“Sure.” Cari’s voice buzzed on his nerves, but Halian stopped hearing actual words. What was going on?
“Na’an.” Was his bear sick? He needed his bear to be okay. He’d promised.
“Halian? I’m going to try to lift you, okay? You’re just little.”
He tried to nod, but he ended up groaning with the pain.
Ash did lift him, and he didn’t barf, but God, his head. It was going to split.
He whimpered, and Ashkii began to run, calling over his shoulder. “Tell Mai to meet me there!”
“I’m supposed to meet Owen.”
“Shh. You’re not making sense, Halian. Just rest. I’ll get you back to Nathan.” Ashkii was very bouncy.
Fast too.
Like super-duper-crazy fast.
“I don’t feel so good.”
“No tossing your cookies on me, dude. That I did hear.” They swung across the footbridge, the world swaying crazy like.
“No. No, that would be nasty.”
“Good man.”
The closer he got to Nathan’s, the better he felt, but his head still hurt so bad.
“Bear…,” he cried. “Bear, help me!”
He could hear a roar, the sound vibrating all the way through him.
“Bear!” He struggled, scared, sick, and lost.
“Hey, we’re almost there. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Ashkii’s words poked at his brain. “Please, come on.”
“Bear. I need Nathan.”
Ash ran with him, and he knew when they got to Nathan’s house because the air cooled against his skin.
“He was going to lunch with Owen,” Ash said as Halian was pressed against a huge, furry body.
“My bear.”
“I called him. I called him and Kell both.” Maicoh sounded worried, which was silly. Halian was fine.
Nathan moaned, snuffling, the scent of musk huge and strong.
“My bear. My bear. My bear.”
“Halian. My head….” Nathan sounded grumpy.
“Me too.” Goddess, him too. “Are we sick?”
“Maybe? Did we eat?” One big paw covered almost his whole belly.
“I was going to lunch with Owen.” But the thought alone made him whimper.
“Ow.” Nathan covered more of him, trying to protect him, he thought.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Nathan growled softly, big head bobbing.
“Tell me what happened.” That was Mai’s voice.
“I went to lunch.” It was as simple as that.
“Was Nathan all beary when you left?”
“No. He was sleeping.”
And now Nathan was fuzzy. If he could open his eyes, he’d admire. The problem was, when he did, sharp pain hit him every time. He couldn’t cope with the sickening throb in his temples.
He whimpered softly, his manself disappearing and his wolf popping up. He burrowed in against Nathan. “Bear, what’s happening?”
“Oh better.” Nathan’s tongue dragged over his head. Hot. Wet.
He wiggled, one ear now stuck down.
“Gross. Ash, grab me a towel. That’s nasty, man.”
Ash laughed. “That’s some grooming, huh?”
“Grooming? It’s like he’s been swimming. Towel.”
Halian chuffed softly, the pain eased now. The towel appeared, and Mai rubbed it over his head. Nathan grumped a little, but let Mai clean him.
“Goofy guys. I’ve got a call in to Mother Owl. Owen’s bringing hamburgers for all of us to share.”
“That’s sweet,” Mai said.
Oh, he hoped Owen wasn’t mad. He felt really bad.
“Don’t. You were sick. You can visit with him here.”
“Yeah? That would be good.”
“It would be.” Nathan loved him, nuzzling him.
“Oh bear. I felt so bad. So goddamn bad.”
“Me too. I just wanted to be a bear because it hurt.”
“Is it my fault? Did I ruin you?”
“Shh. No one is ruined.” Nathan didn’t lick him again, but he could feel the urge there.
“Are you two okay? They look better. Seriously. I thought Hali was going to die.”
Nathan grunted, and that big body shrank, the fur falling away. “It hurt.”
Oh, fingers. He wiggled, trying to get some love on his ears.
Nathan laughed, rubbing his ear. “Oh, you are wet. Oops.”
“What happened, buddy?” Ash came to sit with them. “Man, that was scary.”
Halian had to fight the urge to growl.
Nathan shook his head. “Halian left for his lunch with Owen, and I collapsed. I have no idea.”
“That’s scary. No more collapsing. Ever.” Ashkii sounded so worried.
A hand slid down his back, heavy and huge. “No. Thank the Goddess you were there to help Halian.”
“Cari actually found him.”
“Thank you, Cari. So much.” Nathan seemed to know the nice lady with the pretty eyes. Then again, Nathan knew everyone. “I do know most all of us. Cari’s amazing. She’s—”
A knock sounded, and he barked.
“I’ll get it.” Ash slid away again, and a tall dark-haired man entered, taking in the scene with bright, sharp eyes.
“What happened?” he croaked.
“They fell down—Nathan here; Halian on the bridge,” Ashkii answered as Nathan eased Halian deeper into his caress.
The man came to kneel in front of them, peering into first Nathan’s eyes
, then his.
Halian licked Kell’s nose. “Hey raven-bird!”
Nathan laughed. “He remembers you.”
“Of course he does. I’m unforgettable.” Kell clicked and shook his head. “Do you hear each other? Did you bond?”
“We do. We did. It clicked last night.” Nathan wasn’t denying it at all. Halian felt so proud.
Kell sighed. “Silly bear. You two can’t just cross the veil like that! Not with a brand-new bond.”
Nathan blinked. “I don’t understand.”
“You two are at the beginning of this. The bond is between species and fragile.” Kell clicked and grunted. “You two need to stay together. Touching is best. Until it settles.”
“Oh. That’s a terrible hardship,” Nathan teased. “How long?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a bear and wolf mate. You two are special.”
“Well, of course we are.” Nathan laughed. “Should we have lunch? I need clothes.” Nathan stood and scooped Halian up. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.” Everyone else started heading for the kitchen, and he hoped it was for plate and stuff for when Owen got there.
One way or the other, Nathan didn’t seem to care. Nathan didn’t seem mad at him either, even though maybe he should be.
“Okay, love. I need to get dressed. Can you shift, do you think?”
He focused. No fur, no tail, no whiskers. No fur, no tail, no—“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do… whatever I did.”
“You didn’t. We did.” Nathan winked, then hugged him tight.
It felt so good. So good, and he snuggled right up into Nathan’s chest. The last lingering bit of pain popped like a bubble, and Halian relaxed. Oh, better. He’d been so dizzy and gross.
“Mmm.” Nathan nuzzled his hair, his noises so happy.
“You’re better.” He didn’t have to ask. He knew.
“So are you.”
“Guys? Owen is here with food.”
“Thanks, Mai.” Nathan kept touching him as they dressed.
“I’m going to have to apologize. I missed our date.” And he felt bad about it.
“He’ll understand, and you can try again once the bond settles.”
“Right.” It only needed a couple of days, he was sure.
They grinned at each other, then held hands on the way back out to the kitchen.
“Dude! You scared me, bad.”
Halian nodded to Owen. He’d scared him too.
Owen bounced over to hug the side of him Nathan wasn’t holding. “But bonding is good, right?”
He nodded. It had to be. Nathan was so pleased.
“Good deal. We can go to lunch later. I brought hamburgers! I didn’t know Kell would be here.” Owen’s face fell a little.
“He can have my fries,” Ash said. “They’re his favorite.”
“Thank you, friend Ash.” Kell slid one cheek along Ashkii’s in a clear sign of appreciation.
Ash just grinned. Owen passed out food, and there was more than enough for all. He saw Nathan slip Owen some money, as did Mai.
Owen seemed so pleased to be there with them, to be laughing and playing and eating, and Owen didn’t seem mad at him at all.
Poor Owen. Halian knew what it was like to be so lonely.
They ended up all sitting together, laughing hard when another knock came to the kitchen door.
“I smell hamburgers!” The call came from outside, and it was an older lady’s voice, one he’d never heard.
Owen gave them all a look of panic.
“Hello, Mother. That’s because I brought some.” Now, that was the grumpy mountain lion, and yeah, a fresh wave of hamburger smell hit them all.
“Oh, how lovely. You’re so thoughtful, young man.” The door opened and a wizened lady walked in on Liam’s arm.
“Hello, lady.” Nathan rose, pulling Halian with him. “This is my mate, Halian.”
“Hello, young man. I’m so pleased to meet you.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek, so gently.
“Thank you. Good afternoon.”
“Your mate?” Liam’s eyes went wide.
“Yep.”
“So that’s what all the hubbub is about. I had no idea you could even do that.”
“Me either.” Nathan didn’t sound worried.
“It’s very rare and very fragile,” Mother Owl said, resting on Halian’s cheek.
“Fragile? How?” Now Nathan sounded worried.
“You’ll have to strengthen it, work at it.” She peered into his eyes. “And you musn’t cross the veil, little one. Not without Nathan. It’s too heavy.”
“But it’s perfectly safe otherwise? We can stay here together and bond?” Nathan glanced at him, squeezing his hand.
“I’m sure it—”
“The only mixed-breed matings I’ve seen ended with both going out of their minds.”
Halian stared at Liam, eyes huge.
“Liam!” Kell scolded. “What an awful thing to say!”
“What? It’s true! It was a murder-suicide. You remember them, right? That’s why Kell and I have never—”
“Liam!” Nathan snapped. “That’s enough.”
“What happens if the bond breaks?” he asked, and Mother Owl shook her head.
“You’ve bonded, sweet child. Nathan is strong, but it might well kill you.”
He tried not to cry. God, what had he done? Nathan deserved a mate strong enough to be with him. Not a very small wolf. Goddess, he was worthless. They’d told him that before, and the pack was right. Not worth mating with, and now he’d put the one he loved in danger.
“No one’s going to die. This is a joy, not something to fear!” Kell snorted. “Liam’s an asshole.”
He tried to smile, tried to think calm, simple thoughts. “Excuse me.”
He patted his bear’s hand and pointed to the bathroom. “Queasy, bear. Sorry.”
That wasn’t even a lie.
Nathan nodded, but watched him all the way. Halian felt the weight of that worried gaze.
He closed the door and locked it, then opened the window. It was bunny-quick, to strip down and shift, before clambering out the window and landing on the ground. He squeezed his eyes closed. They’d been right all along, the pack. He wasn’t worth mating with anyone. He wasn’t strong, he wasn’t brave, and he wasn’t worthy. A little pain for Nathan now versus insanity? That was nothing. The best thing he could give Nathan was his death.
Love you, bear. Remember me.
Then he started to run as fast as he could for the river. If he was lucky, he’d float away and no one would find him.
7
“Something’s wrong.” Nathan clutched at his belly, the pain there tearing at him. It came on suddenly, just as it had before, and he doubled over, trying to stifle a roar.
“Maicoh! Get Halian!” Mother Owl came running to him, one hand on his chest, trying to calm him.
“Halian…,” He moaned it, trying to stand up, but he couldn’t.
“Easy. Easy, Nathan. Breathe for me. You’re all right.”
No. No, he didn’t think so.
“He’s gone. His clothes are there, but he’s gone.” Mai’s words didn’t make sense. Where would Halian go?
“I didn’t mean to scare the kid…,” Liam muttered, and Kell’s voice shot out, hard and icy.
“What the fuck did you mean to do, then, you thoughtless asshole? Get out! You’re not welcome here, not anymore!”
Liam slunk away, head down, and Nathan couldn’t even reach out to his friend. He could feel the bear trying to batter its way out, but he wasn’t sure his bearself would be as reasonable. He might eat people.
“What do we do, Mai?” Ash was right there, hand on him, but it wasn’t the touch his soul needed.
“We have to bring them back together. He’s just scared.” Mai sighed and started stripping. “The pack’s hurt him; you know that, mate. You’ve been there. You left me for years.”
“I know. P
oor baby. Mother? Can you and Kell watch Nathan?”
“Go. Please. Find.” Nathan was losing words.
“We will. I’ll go to the river. Mai, you head up. We’ll find him and bring him home.”
“Thank you, friends.”
“I’ll call Angela to come watch over him,” Kell said. “I can see more since I can fly.”
“As soon as you can. He’ll be okay, right?” Ash sounded so worried, but Nathan knew it was Halian, his little wolf, who wasn’t going to be. He wasn’t strong enough yet, not yet.
He would be, though, no question. If he could survive this.
“Go, boys. Go, find him.”
They all disappeared like smoke, leaving him with Mother Owl. He held her hand, trying not to crush, because it calmed him. “Mate.”
“Shh… he’s a dear little one. So good. You can breathe. I’ll stay with you.”
“He’ll get sick.”
“He will, but don’t listen to Liam. He’s stronger than any of you think.” Mama Owl stroked his forehead. “He’s been ill-used, but he’s strong enough to sacrifice everything for you.”
“No sacrifice. Want him.” He leaned into the touch, the comfort undeniable. He needed to believe what she was saying.
“He’ll be back.” She patted his head.
“Promise?” Nathan convulsed again, his skin too tight, as if he had a rising fever. “What’s wrong with the veil?”
“Wrong? It’s gotten heavy, thick. I think it will be harder and harder for many of us to cross. This is a sanctuary. We were all hunted. Even little Kell, although he doesn’t remember.” She sighed. “Everyone but Maicoh.”
“Mother?” Kell’s voice was raw. “Angela’s on the way.”
“Thank you, Kell. Go fly.”
Kell rustled, the smell of man changing to one of sky and wind and feathers.
“Find him for me, please. I need him.” He reached out to Halian, but there was nothing but agony. Chaos.
He floated, or maybe he was drowning. The roaring in his head got louder and louder until his sister was there with the lady owl, her soft rumbles so like his.
“You’ll be fine. Crazy man. You know better.” Angela put a cold cloth on his forehead. “And I may spank the little wolf, once he’s home.”
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