“It’s not—” I tried.
“Forgive my hostility,” Chubs began, his voice low. “I suppose I’m just wondering why, if the two of you are so happy and settled, you waited until now to finally get in touch to let us know you were still alive.”
Ruby and Liam shared another look.
Chubs’s hand slapped down on the table. “Stop that! Just say it.”
“We wanted to make sure that…” Ruby’s voice trailed off. “We needed time to set this place up, and to get a clear view of what was happening in Washington. Since they don’t seem to have pulled back on the search for us—”
“They haven’t pulled back at all,” Chubs said sharply. “You want to know why Vida couldn’t come? Because the only way she could avoid being detained for obstruction of justice was to agree to join the task force looking for you!”
I didn’t know that. I just assumed she and Cate were working on a number of national security matters, like zone-crossing control.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby said, rubbing at her forehead. “I should have realized something like that would happen.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Liam said vehemently. “Forgive us for thinking our friends might want to come live here with us and do some actual good.”
Some actual good.
The words pierced my anxious swirl of thoughts. Chubs’s whole body stiffened, absorbing that blow.
“You want us to…live here?” I asked, wondering why I couldn’t feel my hands, why my whole body seemed to be going numb.
“Yes,” Liam said. “It’s safer for you. For both of you. Plus, you’ll be with kids your own age. We can figure out a way to get Vida here, too.”
He said it with such sincerity, with all that hope and goodness that was Liam, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words that were locked in my throat.
This was the person who had lifted me out of the snow and carried me to safety.
This was the person who had held me after every nightmare.
This was a person I loved. Who I never wanted to disappoint, not ever.
But the only answer I had to his offer was I’m not a kid.
If I stayed here with them, it would always be this way.
I didn’t want to live outside of the system, not anymore. I didn’t want to live with the uncertainty of one day being discovered. I wanted to be hopeful. I wanted to help make things better for everyone, not just seek safety for myself. Liam and Ruby could help a dozen kids here, but I could help thousands.
I didn’t want to feel powerless anymore.
“I didn’t fight so hard to survive so that I could live out in the woods and commune with nature or whatever bullshit you’re going to accomplish out here,” Chubs said, rising out of his chair.
“Tell me how you really feel,” Liam said, his voice colder than I’d ever heard it. Ruby closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath. I wondered if, in that moment, she wanted to disappear. Or if she wanted the rest of us to.
“You’re trying to protect kids? Great. Save them. Be the savior—that was always your favorite role, Liam, because it’s uncomplicated. It doesn’t make you doubt yourself. It doesn’t make you feel bad about having to make hard choices. Meanwhile, the rest of us are back under every lens imaginable, under threat every single day, trying to make actual lasting change happen.”
“Yeah?” Liam said, standing. “And what have you accomplished? Forcing everyone to wear those stupid badges so other people can scorn and belittle them? Making kids go back into the same homes that rejected them in the first place? How are those promised reparations going, by the way? Think we’ll see any sort of apology, any sort of amends by the next century? Or are you going to roll over on that one, too?”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. The world went out of focus. Chubs and Liam stared at each other from across the table, both trying to control their expressions. Finally, Liam turned, disappearing through the living room.
Chubs took one last look at Ruby. Then he was gone, sweeping out of the kitchen. The back door slammed shut. The front door followed a second later. I jumped both times.
Ruby leaned back in her chair, releasing a slow, heavy breath.
“I’m sorry.” The words were strangled by the painful knot in my throat. “I didn’t think it would be like this….”
“This is pretty much exactly how I thought it’d be,” Ruby said faintly. “I knew Chubs would be upset, but I think…I didn’t realized he’d feel so betrayed.”
“You left us,” I whispered. Somehow, I got my feet under me even as it felt like my whole body was dissolving. It was embarrassing to cry, but I couldn’t help myself. This didn’t feel right.
“I did,” Ruby said, her expression crumpling. “I know I did.”
“I can’t stay here,” I told her. “This place is perfect. You will give these kids the love they need. But it’s not for me.”
“I understand,” she said.
Did she? I felt like I needed to explain, like I had to pour my heart out to her so she’d know that I loved her, that I loved him, that I loved the us that used to exist. But I couldn’t be powerless. I couldn’t stay here.
“It’s all right,” Ruby said, coming around the table to hug me. “I promise that it’ll be all right. Everything changes. It has to.”
“Not us,” I cried. “Never us.”
She leaned down, whispering, “It’s painful because we care. Don’t ever stop caring. Don’t let anyone make you cold. You are already the strongest person I know.”
I shook my head as she eased me back, smoothing the stray hairs off my face. “You know where to find us now. You can come back anytime you’d like. No matter what happens, there will always be a place for you here.”
“Will you…will you tell him I’m sorry?” I said, looking in the direction Liam had gone. “He’s going to hate me.”
“He would never,” Ruby said. “Never. I know it seems like…like what we’re doing is small, but this…” She took a deep breath. “I know what people expect from me, what they need from me, but this is what I can offer to the world right now. This is a piece of myself that doesn’t need mending. It doesn’t need to be healed. It’s something new and fragile that I need to protect. I know that might not make sense to you now, but this is my place. Every kid we help puts the pieces of my heart back together.”
I nodded.
“But you find what you’re meant to do,” Ruby said. “I will be there to help you, no matter what.”
It felt like I was leaving my body as we walked toward the front door. Ruby hovered nearby as I slipped my shoes back on. I started to pull my hat off the hook, but stopped myself. “Maybe the new girl will need it?”
Ruby tried her best to smile, pushing back the flood of emotions. Hugging her arms to her chest, she said, “I’ll see you later, okay?”
The possibility was a dream, and I think we both knew that. There could be no casual drop-ins. I wouldn’t be calling them for weekly updates. We’d barely managed to get away this time, and I knew, after the stunt we’d just pulled, there’d be even more focus on our movements.
I looked back at her one last time, my hand on the door.
“Go on,” she said softly. “Chubs needs you.”
The rain had eased up by the time I stepped onto the porch. I waited there, just for a moment, to see if Liam might appear, but Chubs had already gone on ahead. I didn’t want him to leave without me.
Tears blurred again in my eyes as I followed his fresh tracks back down the trail, the cold stinging my cheeks and hands. By the time I reached the lake, Chubs had already dragged the boat toward the water. As my shoes crunched on the pebbles, he spun around, nearly dropping the oars. The look of surprise on his face nearly broke my heart all over again.
Together we eased the boat back into the water and, together, we rowed back to the opposite shore. The fog swirled behind us, erasing the sight of Haven’s trail.
“I hate this rain, you know?”
Chubs said, turning his tear-slick face up to the overcast sky. “It just never stops.”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Liam kept repeating the question, sounding as dazed as I felt. “What in the world are you doing here?”
I couldn’t speak. I held on to him tighter, my face pressed into his flannel jacket, like he was a mirage that could fade at any minute.
Liam suddenly tensed, turning to face the entrance to the barn. Roman’s gun was inches from his skull.
“Hey, Rambo,” Liam said through gritted teeth. “You want to take it down a notch?”
I stepped back out of his arms, and, at my nod, Roman lowered the gun.
“Sorry,” he murmured as he passed by us. “Old habits.”
“Yeah, I’ve got some of those, too,” Liam said, still eyeing him warily.
Roman stepped into the barn to scan its shadows and many hiding places.
“Hello…stranger Zu seems to like,” Priyanka said, leaning into the barn to take a look. Her whole face lit up. “Ooh! A horse!”
Priyanka ran right past us, heading straight for the nearby stall. A white horse watched the scene unfold, casually chewing on its food.
“That’s Snowflake,” Liam said. He did a double take as Max trailed in after her. “Careful, she…uh, she bites when she’s nervous.”
Then he looked down at me with a clear who-are-these-people? expression.
“Something we have in common, precious Snowflake,” Priyanka cooed, stroking the horse’s nose. “Also, it’s probably weird I know the horse’s name before I know yours…?”
“That’s Liam Stewart,” Roman said, circling back to us. “You are him, aren’t you?”
I could see why they might be confused. The only word to describe Liam’s current state was rough. His hair was overlong and shaggy, and he had a full beard. From what I could make out beneath the facial hair, his complexion looked almost ashen, which only served to deepen the dark grooves beneath his eyes. A whopper of a bruise covered his left temple, and the collar of his undershirt was torn.
“In the flesh. Most of it, anyway.” Liam grimaced. “Could you introduce your friends to me, Zuzu?”
Oh, right. “Snowflake’s new best friend is Priyanka, Roman is the only one who remembered to be careful about entering an unknown place, and Max is—” I looked around. “Where is Max?”
“Here,” he called from the back of the barn. He stood directly beneath a sunbeam shining through a crack in the roof. “It’s so beautiful. Like a golden ribbon.”
Priyanka angled her head toward him. “Okay, I think you need some sleep, Maximo.”
Liam let out a ghost of a laugh, shifting his weight. His movements were stiff, slow, almost like—
I grabbed his arm to keep him still. A small crimson stain was visible on his undershirt, just above his left hip. I pushed his jacket out of the way, revealing the splotch of dried blood and the jagged hole in the fabric. Panic jolted through me.
“Oh my God,” I said. “You were shot?”
“I’m all right,” he said, putting a hand over mine.
All this time we’d been looking for Ruby, he’d been hurt. He’d been shot.
“Zu,” he said, tightening his hold until I looked up. “I’m all right now. Sam and Lucas have been taking care of my sorry self the last few weeks. But I need to know that you are okay. I saw everything on the news, and you know I adore you, but you look like fresh hell.”
“I haven’t been shot,” I told him, fighting the temptation to shake him. Instead, I wound my arms around him again and felt him sag against me. “I also don’t smell like hay. Are they making you sleep out here? Where are Sam and Lucas anyway?”
Liam took in a deep, labored breath. “They’re out looking for Ruby.”
“Well, isn’t that just a crazy coincidence,” Priyanka said, all traces of humor gone. “So are we.”
Liam took us to the front door, shooing the rooster off his perch on the porch. He leaned heavily on the railing. Waving a hand over the old lock, we all heard the definitive click as he moved the dead bolt.
“Old-school,” Priyanka said approvingly. “I like it.”
The house was small, enveloping you like a warm hug the moment you stepped inside. I’d only met Sam and Lucas twice—back then, we were all orbiting Ruby—but as little as I knew about the two of them, I saw shades of them in their home. Sam’s boldness, reflected in the colors on the walls and the mismatched furniture that somehow worked together. Lucas’s quiet, sweet demeanor in the many Polaroid photos framed in the house. In the corner of the living room, there was an easel with an unfinished canvas. All I needed to see were the jagged slashes of crimson and black paint to know who had painted it.
Liam’s whole body tensed as we walked through the house. I was surprised he hadn’t scratched up the walls by this point. He stopped in the tidy, old-fashioned kitchen, moved toward the counter beside the stove, and picked up a cell phone charging there.
“Water?” I asked.
“They pull from a well and have their own purifier,” Liam said. “Give me a second and I’ll grab you some glasses.”
“Who are you messaging?” Roman asked from the other room.
Priyanka had sprawled out on an old leather armchair. Max was asleep at one end of the couch, his face mashed against his palm. But Roman sat at the other end, ramrod straight, eyeing both of us where we stood in the kitchen.
“Their friend Vida,” Priyanka said around a yawn. “She wants to know if Zu had anything to do with the rumors she’s hearing about ‘an incident’ at Moore’s training facility. Apparently he’s already trying to spin it on the news.”
Liam almost dropped the phone. He shot me an uneasy look. “That is some guesswork.”
“Not guesswork,” I said. “My friends are different.”
He raised a brow. “We’re all different.”
“Differently different,” I clarified.
Liam started to type something in reply, watching Priyanka with narrowed eyes.
She looked over at him, bored. “Yes, I can read that.”
He swore under his breath, deleting the text. “I’m going to need an explanation in a minute, but first I need to let Sam and Lucas know to come back.”
“Is that their phone?” I asked.
“Sam’s,” Liam said. “I’ve been relaying messages between them and Vida as they’ve been searching. Seemed safer to have an intermediary, especially since Vi was only just able to shake the rest of the agents and head out alone.”
“Are those lines secure?” Roman asked, taking a position by one of the windows. I watched him, wondering why he seemed unable to relax, even for a second.
Liam looked up from the screen again, this time in disbelief. “I was sending secure messages while you were still eating your own boogers.”
I gave him a look as I filled the glasses. “He’s my age, old man.”
“Boys do develop slower than girls,” Priyanka pointed out.
“Why are we talking about my mucus?” Roman said.
The phone buzzed again.
“What do you want me to tell her about the facility?” Liam said. “Moore’s making it sound like you burned a sweet little red schoolhouse to the ground.”
Priyanka rolled her eyes. “We would have burned it down, but there was too much concrete.”
“Ask her if she or Chubs knew about it.” I needed to know. I needed to understand why.
Liam’s expression turned grim again as he quickly typed out the message. Finished, he reached out, running a gentle thumb over my black eye, examining the treasure map of cuts and bruises on my face.
I stepped away and took a long drink of water. “It’s been a busy few days.”
Liam’s smile was strained. “Attagirl. Let me get you some ice for that shiner.”
Gathering the rest of the glasses and jam up into my arms, I moved back into the living room. Liam trailed after me with the bread and a bag of frozen peas, which I took gra
tefully as I collapsed on the couch. When Roman glanced over from his position at the window, I motioned to the empty spot beside me.
Finally, he released some of that tension in his expression. I was aware of every place his leg touched mine as he sat down next to me.
“Vi says she’ll be here in an hour,” Liam said, looking between all of us. “She’s been following your trail since you left Haven, apparently.” He struggled to keep his face neutral. “Is it at all salvageable?”
That small bit of hope in his eyes almost did me in. I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t force any of the words out. Instead, all I kept seeing was his face as he’d given Chubs and me the tour of the house. The pride and happiness that radiated off him.
Even Priyanka fell silent, leaving the job to Roman.
“The structure can be saved, but the location has been thoroughly compromised. You cannot ever go back there.”
Liam gave him another long look. “Thanks for pulling that punch.”
Finally, the pressure building inside my chest broke wide open. “It was my fault. I can’t tell you…I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. If I’d had any idea that we were being followed—”
“You did exactly what we wanted you to do, and don’t you ever forget that,” Liam said. “I’m just mad as hell I wasn’t there to help protect the kids. Thank you for helping them get out.” He looked to the others. “Thank you. The kids are safe with Mom and Harry for now, and that’s all that really matters. It was always more of…Well, in any case, we’ll all rebuild it together.”
He wants to go back, I realized. He still didn’t want any part of the wider problem.
“What happened to you?” I asked. “All Miguel, Lisa, and Jacob said was that you’d been in touch, but they hadn’t been able to follow up with you about Ruby’s last known location. How did that”—I gestured to the gunshot wound—“happen?”
Liam blew out another long, deep breath as he lowered himself into the worn leather armchair. “I got a tip through the usual network we use to find endangered Psi. There was nothing to make me suspect it wasn’t a typical pickup, even when my phone started to flip out on me nearby—you know how unreliable the cell networks can be. Even the address for the abandoned apartment building in Kennett, just over in Missouri, wasn’t anything alarming. Lots of kids will squat in places like that thinking it’s safe.”
The Darkest Legacy Page 40
