by R. C. Ryan
“Oh, Sam.” Penny hugged him fiercely. “How old were you?”
He shrugged. “Six. And to this day, I hate rats with a passion.”
“That’s…” She struggled for words. “Simply hateful. To leave a little boy all alone in the dark, for eating ice cream. I hope he got what he deserved.”
Sam’s voice was low in the darkness. “When a social worker reported him for abusing us and practically starving us, we were removed from his house, and we thought our lives would be better. Instead, we entered the foster system. By then we’d become three angry boys who’d come to expect the worst. Add to that the fact we were separated and sent to live with different families, making us even more hostile and ready to stand and fight. None of the families wanted anything to do with us when they realized what we’d become.”
“What do you mean?”
“You beat a boy long enough, he learns to either roll over and die or he learns to fight back. Ben, Finn, and I are fast learners. We became mean, ornery, hostile kids willing to fight at the drop of a hat. It was Ben’s idea that we should pick a day to run away, meet up at a designated location, and disappear. We chose the middle of a snowstorm and landed in Mackenzie Monroe’s kitchen. When he asked if we would agree to adoption, we didn’t believe him. We figured all adults lied. But Mac isn’t like others. He meant what he said, and though we fought him every step of the way, he became our father.”
“And that’s why you’re always laughing and joking? Because you’re so happy?”
He smiled in the darkness. “The truth? When I was living through my deepest, darkest misery, I decided I’d take in every little bit of happiness I could and enjoy the hell out of it. That’s been my mantra ever since. Grab all the good with both hands and enjoy it, because tomorrow it can all be taken away.”
“Oh, Sam.” Penny was so touched by his admission, she found herself wanting desperately to soothe that broken little boy he had been.
She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his chest.
He lifted her up to kiss her and tasted the salt on her lashes. “What’s this? Tears?”
“You were so young. You must have been terrified.”
“Hey, now.” He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “It was a long time ago. That little boy doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Yes, he does. You hide him under that mask of laughter and teasing. But he’s still there, and I can’t bear to think of the pain you were forced to endure.”
He framed her face and stared down into her eyes, swimming with tears. “Do you know what it means to me to have you care so deeply?”
And then, because the words were too painfully intimate, he kissed her.
Penny felt the mattress sag and looked up as Sam crossed to the fireplace to stir the ashes before tossing a log on the embers. Within minutes the log was in flames and the heat began spreading its warmth through the little cabin.
When he returned to bed, he carried two steaming mugs and handed one to her before crawling in beside her.
She took a sip and sighed. “Hot chocolate. Oh, Sam, this is so good.”
“Yeah. It’s not bad. Especially with the jar of marshmallow topping I found.”
“I could have made this while you took care of the fire.”
He closed a hand over hers. “Let me pamper you.”
“Pamper.” That brought a throaty laugh. “I don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“Exactly. You’ve spent a lifetime taking care of others. So now let me turn the tables and take care of you.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “That’s so sweet.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “Maybe I have ulterior motives.”
“I just bet you do.”
He put a hand on his heart. “You wound me deeply.”
“Sorry.”
“You don’t sound sorry.”
“You’re right.” She was already laughing.
He closed a hand over hers. “You know what I like?”
She shook her head. “What?”
“The sound of your laughter. You should do it more often.”
“How can I help it? You’re so silly. So…irreverent. Sam, just being with you makes me laugh.”
“I’m glad. I see that as my mission. I’m here, Miss Money, just to bring a smile to those gorgeous eyes and that kissable mouth. And now…” He took the empty mug from her hands and set it on a wooden stool beside the bed. “If you’ve had enough sustenance, I think it’s time for our next marathon.”
“We’re runners?”
“Close.” He gathered her into his arms and kissed her until they were both breathless. Against her throat he whispered, “Marathon lovers.”
The next time Penny woke, the little cabin was filled with the wonderful aroma of coffee perking over a fire. When she sat up, Sam stepped away from the fireplace and settled on the edge of the bunk.
Seeing the sunlight outside the window, she gave a little gasp of surprise. “It’s morning already? Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Because I didn’t let you get much sleep last night.”
“I’m not complaining.” She tossed aside the covers.
Before she could slide out of bed, Sam put a hand on hers. “Slow down, Money. We’re not punching a time clock here.”
“But you’ve already made the coffee.”
“And flapjacks, and heated the rest of that canned ham.”
“But I…”
He kissed her, cutting off her words.
“Mmm. That’s nice.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
“That’s even nicer,” he muttered against her lips. “And as a reward, you get breakfast without having to do the work.” He winked.
“But…”
He kissed her again. “Pamper, remember? I promised, and I’m delivering.”
“Oh.” Her eyes lit with pleasure. “This is all part of your plan?”
“Exactly. I’m sure you’ll find a way to thank me later.”
She batted her lashes. “I could thank you now.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “Why, Miss Money. I do believe you’re starting to get with the program. You’re actually flirting.”
“Indeed I am.” Her smile widened. “How am I doing?”
In answer he slid into bed beside her and began nibbling her neck. “Instead of telling you, I’d rather show you.”
“But the flapjacks…”
“Will just have to wait. What I have in mind is more satisfying.”
And then, with long, slow kisses and sighs of pleasure, they came together in a languid dance of love.
“Why didn’t you ever let me know what a good cook you are?” Penny helped herself to the last bite of ham, before draining a mug of steaming coffee.
“When I’m up in the hills, I have to fix something or starve. But it’s mostly reheated chili or packaged food I can carry in my saddlebags. The truth is, sometimes I indulge in a steak grilled over an open fire. That, along with an ice-cold longneck under the stars, feels like a feast.”
“It sounds heavenly.”
He studied her. “It is. To me, the best part of being a rancher is the freedom to spend time up here in these hills.”
“You’re not afraid to sleep outside? What about wild animals?”
He smiled. “The truth is, you can find danger anywhere. But I’m not afraid of things that go bump in the night.”
She gave a dreamy smile. “I think it would be fun to sleep beside a campfire up here on a summer night.”
“If you’ll stick around long enough to try it, I promise to do all the cooking.” He caught her hand. “Now let’s go outside and assess our chances of making it out of here.”
They pulled on boots and parkas and headed outside.
The scene was a winter wonderland. The trees were bent double with the weight of the snow. The woodpile was barely visible under a layer of white.
Despite the snow
, the sun overhead was brilliant, and the air had lost its bite.
Sam caught her hand. “Come on. There’s something I’d like to show you.”
Penny heard a new note of excitement in his tone. Puzzled, she kept her questions to herself as they climbed hand in hand to a high meadow.
When they paused, Sam pointed. “This is my land.”
“I thought all of this was your ranch.”
“It is. It belongs to the family. But after Mac adopted my brothers and me, he told each of us to pick a spot that we wanted to call our own. With Zachariah’s help, he drew up legal documents ceding a parcel to each of us. A parcel that nobody could ever take away from us. And this is the spot I chose. This is all mine.”
Penny turned this way and that, seeing the land through Sam’s eyes. “I can see why you chose this.”
“You can?”
She nodded. “It’s high enough so you can see the town of Haller Creek way over there.” She pointed. “And far enough from the ranch house that you have some privacy, if you want. But close enough so you can get there in a hurry if anyone has need of you.”
He was looking at her with sharp interest. “You see all that in one glance?”
“Don’t you?”
His smile came then. “Yeah. But it took me more than a year of riding across this land before I realized why I kept coming back here. No matter where else I tried to see myself, it wouldn’t work. It was here. Only here. It calls to me. But I never thought anyone else would understand.”
She thought of the painful past he’d revealed during the night, of the angry, desperate boy he’d been when he’d arrived on this ranch, and of the unspeakable pain he’d endured, though he’d refused to go into detail about it.
“Everyone deserves a place of their own, Sam. But especially a man who was denied such a thing as a child. I’d say you’ve found heaven on earth.”
“I have. Twice. When Mackenzie Monroe adopted me.” He paused and again gave her a fierce look. “And when you came into my life.” He drew her close and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I never shared so much of myself with another person. Not even my own brothers. And now I know why. You’re easy to talk to because you get it. You get me.”
Tears welled up and she closed her eyes to keep them from spilling over and spoiling the moment.
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she managed to murmur against his throat, “I love your special place, Sam. Almost as much as I love—”
At that very moment he tucked a hand under her chin, lifting her face for a long, draining kiss, and the words she’d been about to speak faded away.
She had a sudden thought. “So the dream home Ben and Becca are building is on the plot of land Ben chose?”
“Yes. And Becca loves it as much as Ben does.”
“Oh, I’m so happy for both of them.”
“Me, too. My big brother lucked out and found the perfect woman to share his life.” He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the palm. “Maybe it’s what everybody dreams of, but it’s especially important to someone who never had that kind of love in his life. I guess I never believed it was in the cards for me. Now I’m starting to believe.”
As they left the meadow behind to begin the long trek back to the cabin, Penny found herself replaying Sam’s words in her mind.
Caring and sharing were universal yearnings. But when they’d been denied for a lifetime, they often seemed like an unattainable goal.
Hadn’t she convinced herself of that? It was one of the reasons why she’d hungered to teach. The classroom would become her home. The students her children.
Why then had the dream begun receding since coming to the Monroe ranch?
She knew the answer. She glanced at Sam’s proud, chiseled profile, and felt her heart take a quick, hard bounce.
She’d done the unthinkable.
She’d lost her heart to this cocky, teasing gambler.
When they reached the cabin, Sam made his way toward the woodpile and stopped to pick up several snow-covered logs. When he turned, a snowball hit him squarely on one cheek.
“What the…?”
Caught by surprise, he dropped the armload of wood before catching sight of Penny scooping up more snow. Before she could toss it he had a snowball in his hand and took aim. She managed to duck, avoiding being hit, but when she stood up, a second toss caught her on the ear.
“You’ll pay for that, cowboy.” She scooped up a handful of snow and lobbed it at his face.
“Oh, lady, now you’re in big trouble.”
Laughing, he wiped at the snow on his cheek. Seeing her take cover behind a tree, he started toward her on the run, dodging snowballs as he did.
When he came around the tree, she was just about to toss another snowball. Before she could act, he made a dive for her.
Together they fell into a mound of snow that nearly buried them.
She reached out, trying to grab more snow, but Sam was quicker. Pinning both her hands above her head in one of his, he leaned close. “I claim victory and demand an apology.”
“In your dreams.”
“Now this is the tough little cookie I know. I’d expect nothing else.” He kissed her.
When he lifted his head, he was grinning. “You can refuse all you want. But until you concede”—with his other hand he scooped up snow—“I’m going to hold you down and cover your pretty little face in snow.” He arched a brow. “Now what’re you going to do, Money?”
“I’m never declaring defeat. And I’ll never apologize.”
“Fair enough.” He tossed aside the snow. “But the least you can do is kiss me back.”
When she did, he got to his feet and took her hand, helping her up.
As she stood, she brought her other hand up and smeared a handful of snow over his face.
His grin disappeared. For a second he merely stared at her. “I can’t believe it. Miss Money conned the con.”
With a roar of laughter, he bent and scooped up enough snow to smother her.
She held up her hands. “Wait. I concede.”
He put a hand to his ear. “What was that? Did I hear you admit defeat?”
“Never…” She started to turn away.
He dragged her close and held up a handful of snow menacingly. “Now I’ll demand not only your admission of defeat, but also an apology. Or…”
She couldn’t hold back the laughter any longer. “All right. You win. I’m sorry.”
He paused a moment, dropping the snow before hauling her close and kissing her until they were both breathless.
When they came up for air, Penny caught his hand. “Come on, cowboy. I’ll help you carry some firewood inside.”
“You think lending a hand will make me forget how you conned me?”
“No, but I’m freezing. I think even your hottest kisses can’t drive away the chill of this weather.”
“You wouldn’t want me to prove you wrong again, would you?”
They were both laughing as they strolled hand in hand to the pile of firewood and began picking up logs.
Once inside they shed their boots and parkas. While Sam set about starting a cozy fire, Penny made a fresh pot of coffee.
As the day slipped into evening, they sat, wrapped in an afghan, sipping coffee and talking about all the things they’d kept in their hearts for a lifetime.
And as they lay together throughout the long, loving night, they could feel the pain of the past slipping away with every passionate kiss, every whispered word of endearment.
It was another night of not only passion, but also healing.
Chapter Nineteen
Looks like the sunlight is doing its thing.” Sam opened the cabin door and stepped onto the porch, with Penny trailing.
He pointed to the roof, where melting snow caused rivers to run down the shingles to form puddles along the porch.
The trail, snow-covered just that morning, was now a muddy path leading down the mountain
. Rushing water formed gullies of mud and snow as it cascaded down the rugged terrain.
He turned to Penny. “I guess we’d better pack up and head home.”
“Or we could hope for another blizzard.”
He touched a rough palm to her cheek. “I know how you feel. I’m feeling it, too. If I thought there was a chance in hell that we could get a few more days to ourselves, Money, I’d lock the door and throw away the key.”
“Your family would send out the troops to find us.”
“Yeah.” He opened the door and led her inside.
They worked in silence. Penny gathered the few empty cans and cartons into a trash bag, to be taken with them back to the ranch. Sam cleaned out the hot ash remaining in the fireplace and buried it in snow behind the cabin.
When he checked the cupboards, he glanced over at her. “This knob was loose. I was planning on getting my screwdriver to fix it and forgot. How did you do this?”
She laughed and produced a small gadget from her back pocket. “This was my dad’s. I’ve carried it ever since his passing.”
Sam took it from her hand. “A Swiss army knife. My brother Ben swears by his. Is it as good as he says?”
She began opening the sides, producing a knife, a screwdriver, scissors, a can opener, and half a dozen other tools. “My dad claimed this was all a person needed to survive.”
“Sounds good to me, Money. And it saved me a chore.” He bent to kiss her. “Maybe you’ll lend it to me?”
“Not on your life, cowboy.” She tucked it into her back pocket. “Get your own.”
With a laugh he hurried away to finish packing.
When they had secured the range shack for the season and climbed into the truck for the drive home, they both turned for a final glimpse of their own private paradise.
Sam reached over and took Penny’s hand. “I’m going to miss Shangri-La, Money.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
He winked.
She smiled.
When they had descended from the high country far enough to get service, Sam called the family on his cell phone and let them know they were on their way home.
