by Hope Stone
“Thank you all for coming. We are looking for Dominic Mills.” Getting out my phone, I pulled up a picture I’d taken of Dominic and Erica when they were staying at my place. Zooming in on his face, I held the phone up for everyone to see. “He might have a dog with him. He’s my family, and I want him found safe.”
As everyone mounted their bikes, I pulled Hawk aside. “I need a favor from you.”
“What is it?”
“Go to Erica’s house in case Dominic comes back there and use that time to do a little digging for me. I want to know where her husband is right now.”
“Name?”
“Jeff Donovan.”
“All right, consider it done.”
With that taken care of, I mounted my bike and joined the others in sweeping the streets of La Playa. He had better be okay. If something happened to that little boy, Jeff would pay for it, as well.
I had no idea where he could be. We had all been driving around for nearly an hour with no luck. Swole was with me, riding in traditional formation. I had a feeling that she might be keeping an eye on me, making sure that I was okay. Normally, I’d find that sort of thing annoying, but today, I felt like I needed it. I wasn’t going to fall to pieces or any weak-ass thing like that, but I could easily get distracted by my overwhelming rage and frustration.
I pulled over onto the sidewalk in a residential area not far from Erica’s house. It wasn’t the best neighborhood, and I didn’t think Dominic would come here for that reason, but I was getting desperate to find him. Swole pulled up beside me, pulling her helmet off her head.
“What’s the plan?” she asked, sounding nearly as frustrated as I felt.
“I don’t know,” I said heatedly as I pulled my helmet off. “How am I going to go back to the hospital and tell Erica that I couldn’t find her kid? Fuck.”
I kind of wanted Swole to take the bait and snap back at me, but she was too smart to fall into that trap. Fighting with each other now would just be a distraction, and as much as I wanted one, it wouldn’t do a damn thing to help this situation.
“You done?” Swole asked, raising one eyebrow. When I didn’t respond, she just nodded. “Good. Now, try using your fucking head. You said the kid was family, lovely sentiment by the way, but now you have to prove it. Show that you know him. Where would he be?”
I scanned my brain. We weren’t far from Erica’s house right now. Dominic was on foot and hadn’t been here long enough to have a ton of options.
Suddenly, an idea came to me, a memory really. The library was nearby. I could remember running into Erica outside the library. It was the place that I’d met Dominic for the first time.
“Follow me,” I told Swole. When we were approaching the old brick building, I felt like I could collapse from relief.
There he was, sitting on the very bench that Erica and I had sat on together. The dog was lying at his feet while he kicked his legs back and forth.
I parked on the sidewalk in front of him, and he looked up at me. Swole stayed back in the street, but I could feel her eyes on me.
I was surprised when Dominic didn’t come to me or even look happy to see me. I took a seat on the bench beside him and recognized that guilt in his eyes as it was a reflection of what I felt myself. Mine was because I’d let Erica down by not being there when she needed me most. But why did Dominic feel guilty?
“Hey, buddy,” I said softly.
“Hi, Trainer.” He turned his head to look the other way, hiding his face and the emotions that might be playing across it from me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, trying to scan his body for any injuries, but it was dark outside, and the streetlight didn’t cast enough light for me to be sure.
He shook his head no, then his shoulders started shaking, and the muffled sound of crying reached my ear.
“Dominic.” I placed a hand on his shoulder and carefully turned him so that he was facing me. As expected, there were tears streaming down his cheeks, and he was biting his bottom lip to try and suppress the sounds of his crying. Without another word, I pulled him into my chest, wrapping my arms around his tiny body.
I looked over at Swole, feeling helpless as I tried my damnedest to comfort this child. His weeping was tearing me up.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Your mom’s okay.”
He pulled away, looking at me in the face. “Is she really?”
Using the back of his hand, he wiped away snot from his nose. Dominic was an old soul, so that sometimes I forgot just how young he was. But at this moment, he was just a scared little boy.
“Yes. She’s in the hospital, but she’ll be okay. I promise.”
“I-I’m so s-sorry,” he said miserably.
“Sorry for what?” I asked, my brow furrowed.
“I left her all alone. I ran away.”
Understanding dawned. “You were scared, right?”
He nodded. “And she told me to. I saw that he hurt her, but I didn’t help. She told me to run away, and I did it.”
“And you feel bad about that?” Of course he did.
“I should’ve helped her,” he sniffled.
“Listen.” I placed my hands on his shoulders and made sure that he was looking into my eyes as I spoke. I wanted him to see the truth in my words. “You did the exact right thing. Your mom needed to know you were safe so that she could take care of herself, and it worked. She is hurt, but she’s going to be okay. And that’s because of you, bud.”
“Really?” There was precious hope in his eyes.
“Yes. Now, would you like to go see her?”
“Can I? Right now?” he asked, almost smiling.
“As long as you’re okay with riding on the back of the bike.”
Dominic’s eyes actually lit up with excitement, and I breathed a sigh of relief that his tears were gone. I hoped that Erica wouldn’t mind that he was on a motorcycle. We’d never talked about that, but a far as I was concerned, these were special circumstances. At least I had Erica’s helmet in my trunk box.
“Let’s go see her,” he said.
“I’ll get the dog home,” Swole said, picking up the furball as she pulled her cell phone out.
So we left, heading to the woman that we both loved.
Erica
I awoke suddenly, with panic gripping my mind. My eyes popped open as I recalled what had happened and tried to figure out where I was, if I was okay.
Jeff. A threat. Danger.
Dominic. Gone. Safe.
Trainer. Staring at me.
The room around me was white, and my peripheral vision picked up machinery at my side, as well as raised bed rails. I was in a hospital.
Trainer was the only person in the room, sitting in a small plastic chair at my side that he was really too big for. His elbows rested on his knees, and he stared at me, nonplussed.
“Dominic?” I asked, my voice soft, but my body tense.
“He’s here. In the bathroom.” Trainer nodded toward a door on the other side of the room.
I relaxed, relief flooding me. I wasn’t thrilled to be in the hospital, and Jeff having found me changed things, but at least I still had Dominic.
“He’s okay?”
Before Trainer could answer, the bathroom door opened, and a blur of brown hair came flying at me.
“Mom, you’re awake!”
Dominic had almost reached my bed when Trainer’s arms shot out, snatching him up.
“Whoa, bud. Remember what we talked about? Your mom’s injuries?”
“Oh. Right.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, starting to sit up. A sharp pain in my side put a stop to that quickly, and I gasped as I lay down flat once again.
“That.” Trainer nodded. “Three broken ribs. A twisted ankle. Head injury. We talked about how important it was to be careful around you.”
“Sorry,” Dominic said. “I forgot.”
“That’s okay, honey,” I told him. “Maybe you can sit next to me instead?”
“I wish you hadn’t seen that,” I said. He sobered up, and I could the sadness in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry I left. Trainer said it was good when he found me, but…”
“Trainer’s right. You did great.”
I looked at Trainer, and my heart seemed to expand in my chest. He had found Dominic. Nothing meant more to me in the world.
“Where is he?” I asked Trainer.
“I don’t know yet. Your neighbor called Swole about the noise, and I found you unconscious on the floor. You were the only one in the house.”
I didn’t understand why Jeff would have just left me like that, but I couldn’t help feeling grateful to be alive. Jeff had shown himself to be a monster in the past, but today was different. He’d been out of control, more dangerous than ever.
I couldn’t let him come back and hurt me again. Trainer would try to keep me safe, I had no doubt, but he couldn’t be with me every minute of the day. As long as Jeff knew where to find me, I’d never be safe again. Everything I had here in La Playa, and the life that I’d built was collapsing.
I had to look away from Trainer as I thought about starting over somewhere else. Otherwise, I might burst into tears.
The doctor came in after that, checking my vitals. She lifted my blankets and checked my side, where my ribs were cracked, and the wrapping of my twisted ankle. I was told that I could have ice for my ribs, but the pain medication they were pumping in through my IV made it all a dull ache, as long as I didn’t do anything to make my ribs protest too much.
Trainer’s full attention was on me the whole time the doctor was looking me over, his intense gaze making it impossible to ignore his presence. I couldn’t get a feel for what he was thinking, but I feared the worst. He’d barely spoken since I woke up, just answering my questions.
Was this too much for him?
He’d known about Jeff, but maybe finding me beaten unconscious made it all too real. I couldn’t blame him if that was the case. Hadn’t I known from the beginning that my baggage was probably a deal-breaker? It wasn’t as if we’d been seeing each other for long. A couple of weeks of spending time together might not have been enough to convince him that I was worth this kind of hassle.
I tried to tell myself that it was a good thing. It would make things easier when I disappeared again. I wouldn’t be hurting him.
But it would break my own heart.
Trainer’s phone rang right after the doctor left, and he excused himself to answer it, stepping out into the hall. The distance between us felt huge, and I hated it.
“Mom?” Dominic drew my attention away from Trainer, to where he was lying stretched out on a small black loveseat against the wall. “Is Dad going to come back?”
“I don’t know,” I lied. I was sure that he would. Jeff wasn’t the type to give up. He’d decided that he owned us.
“I don’t want to leave,” he said quietly. This kid was too damn perceptive.
The door of my room opened, and Trainer came back inside. He took a seat beside me once again, and this time he reached over, taking my hand.
“I have to go take care of some business,” he said.
I knew that it was stupid to get upset about him leaving to take care of Outlaw Souls business, but there was an ache in my heart all the same. I was in the hospital, and I selfishly wanted him to stay at my side to comfort me.
But I wasn’t going to ask him to. Maybe I was being stubborn, but I didn’t want to make myself even more vulnerable than I already was only to be rejected. I had enough emotional turmoil to deal with right now.
“Tammy’s going to come stay with you.”
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight.
“You know what? It’s late, and I don’t want Dominic to spend the night in a hospital. Maybe Tammy could just pick him up and take him back to her place for the night?”
Trainer hesitated. “But then you’d be alone.”
Not if you stay.
“I need to sleep anyway,” I said. I had a big day tomorrow, full of big decisions to make.
“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll call her and make sure that’s okay.”
Tammy arrived fifteen minutes later. She came straight to my side, swooping down to give me a hug around my shoulders, so that she didn’t hurt my ribs further.
“I’m so glad that you’re okay,” she said. “Is this why you wanted a fake ID?”
“What?” Trainer asked.
“I asked Tammy where to get a couple of fake IDs for Dominic and me,” I explained. “I had hoped to stay in La Playa and wanted to solidify our identities here.”
“I sent her to Hawk.”
Trainer didn’t say anything in response, but I knew him well enough by now to see that he was troubled. I couldn’t figure out exactly why. Maybe he was upset that I asked Tammy instead of him?
“I better get Dominic home and in bed,” Tammy said as he let out a huge yawn.
“Thanks, Tammy,” I said sincerely. This was the hardest part about being a single parent, trying to make sure your kid was taken care of when something serious was going on, and you weren’t able to yourself.
“It’s no problem.” She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “You’re a part of the Outlaw Souls family now, and we take care of our own.”
I wanted to believe that, but I wasn’t like Tammy. She was married to Swole. They’d been together for years. I cared about them, and I was pretty sure that I loved Trainer, but that didn’t matter if it only went one way.
Tammy left with Dominic, and Trainer stood from his seat, lingering uncertainly. “I’ll come back first thing in the morning,” he promised.
Leaning down, he pressed a chaste kiss against my forehead before heading for the door. I wanted so much more. I wanted him to lie in this uncomfortable hospital bed with me in his arms and to tell me that everything would be okay, even though we both knew the threat of Jeff’s unstable violence was still out there.
I watched him walk out the door. The second he was gone, the silence in the room felt suffocating. Even the machines at my bedside were silent. Reaching over to the table next to me, I picked up three different remotes. The red one said the word Nurse and had a single button. Pretty self-explanatory.
The other two looked similar, but one was for the TV, and the other had a cord that was attached to my bed. I used the second one to raise the top of the bed into a sitting position, nice and slowly. My ribs throbbed, but I’d have to get used to that. The doctor had already told me that they would take about six weeks to heal. It was going to be difficult to move to a new place with this injury.
With that depressing thought, I carefully swung my legs over the side of the bed, hissing through my teeth. The pain medication wasn’t strong enough to mask the effects of all this movement. I briefly considered calling a nurse, but I needed to be independent right now, to prove to myself that I could do it. Soon enough, I’d have no choice.
I held my breath as I lowered my feet to the floor. Forgetting to avoid putting weight on my injured ankle, I almost collapsed as pain engulfed me.
“Shit,” I cried out.
A fresh wave of anger at Jeff gave me the strength to continue. So I gripped my IV pole and used it as a crutch to avoid putting too much weight on the bad ankle. It seemed to take forever to get to the bathroom, but I eventually made it and felt a small sense of victory.
I wanted a shower to try and wash away this shitty day, but I didn’t dare try to do that by myself yet. If I fell in there, I could end up in a much worse condition. So I used the toilet, then washed my hands and face. When I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink, I stilled, staring at my reflection. The bruises and swelling made me feel sick.
I looked like the battered wife that I was, and for some reason, the sight of it made me feel
light-headed. This was my reality. I had known that for a long time, but seeing myself like this was different. It made me feel hopeless.
I just wanted to be free of Jeff.
But I knew that when I closed my eyes tonight, I’d see him in my nightmares. There was no true freedom. Maybe there never would be.
When I finally made my way back into the bed and under the covers, my entire body seemed to ache. I knew that I should sleep like I said I was going to, but I didn’t want to relive the horror of what happened to me today. So I picked up the TV remote instead.
It was almost an hour later that I fell into a restless sleep watching reruns of The Office.
Trainer
I hated leaving Erica alone in that cold hospital room. She didn’t ask me to stay, or even why I was leaving, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was disappointed.
I’d make it up to her.
For now, I needed to focus on making sure she was safe. When she spoke about obtaining fake IDs so that she could stay in La Playa, it didn’t escape my notice that she was speaking in the past tense. She was already thinking about fleeing again.
That was unacceptable. I needed her and Dominic. There was no denying that they had both stolen my heart.
So when Hawk came through with the location of her husband, I knew that I needed to go have a conversation with him tonight. He was staying at the Castle Motel right off the freeway. It was a low-budget, seedy place, which surprised me, since Erica had mentioned that the guy was loaded. My only guess was that he chose it to stay under the radar. That was how people like this worked. They knew how to get away with shit, which included staying at one of the few places in La Playa that still accepted cash and didn’t exactly worry about checking identification.
Luckily, Hawk had connections just about everywhere, and that included this motel. I pulled into the parking lot, cutting the engine of my bike as I looked up at the second floor. Hawk’s contact was a housekeeper that told him a man fitting Jeff’s description was staying in room 223.
