by Tessa Gray
“So, why were you so restless?”
“A combination of things, really. My teaching career wasn’t satisfying anymore, but I stuck with it because it’s what everyone expected me to do. It paid the bills. It was steady work, so I just kept at it.” I love my parents to death, but sometimes it’s a balancing act trying to please my dad. He’s never been a fan of Jake’s and he’s been very vocal about that. So, when things soured for me, I kind of threw out the baby with the bathwater and made too many changes at once. I should have focused on making a career change first, and then talked to Jake about my frustration with our relationship.”
“Have you told Jake this?”
“No, I haven’t.”
Meredith gave her a playful punch in the arm. “Well, maybe you need to.”
“When the timing’s right.” Shrugging, she meandered over to check the oven temp.
“Before you leave, would you mind sharing that apple pie recipe? The diner keeps selling out of it. Everyone in town’s raving about your apple pies.” After she spoke, Meredith grabbed a pen and notepad and handed it to her.
Rachel jotted down the recipe, pleased so many people liked her meema’s apple pie.
Chapter 13
Twenty-four hours later Rachel showed up for training at Jake’s bar. He greeted her as she walked inside, but his tone had an edge to it. “Hello, Rachel.”
“You look well, Jake.”
He brushed off the compliment and motioned her toward the bar counter. “I need to leave in a couple of hours. Let’s get you familiar with the schedule.”
“Oh, of course.”
He handed her a spreadsheet containing the names of all the employees and the hours they’d be working, as well as their cell phone numbers. “I highlighted the names of a few individuals who don’t mind picking up an extra shift. If, for some reason, you can’t work, call them first.”
”I’ll definitely do that.”
She smiled, pleased that Jake was so thoughtful.
His dark eyes blazed as he stared at her. Thrusting a menu in her hand, he continued. “It’s important that you ask every single customer what they think of the meal you served them.”
She watched how intense Jake was, his dark eyes flashing as he gave her the instructions. His business might be floundering, but it wasn’t for lack of effort on his part.
“I think that’s a fine idea—asking them how they liked the food.”
He didn’t respond but continued the training session. “You’ll be serving drinks, so it’s important to keep an eye on the customers and pay attention to how much alcohol they’ve consumed. If you think anyone is consuming too much, tell the bartender to cut them off. We all have a personal responsibility for our customers’ safety.”
She moved toward him, eager to show her appreciation. “I can’t thank you enough for giving me this job, Jake.”
Shrugging, he headed over to the bar and began scrubbing down a counter.
Frustrated at how distant he’d become, she grabbed the salt and pepper containers from several tables and carried them to the bar area to refill them.
~ ~ ~
Jake watched Rachel make her way over to one of the tables, the soft curve of her hips causing him to exhale. This would never work- having her around like this. It had been a serious lapse in judgment to hire her.
He continued washing down the counter, absentmindedly, trying not to think about her.
As she busied herself about the tables, he watched how meticulously she tended to the smallest details: refolding napkins, rearranging the silverware, making sure there were no water spots, and squatting down to examine every chair, wiping them down when necessary. She definitely had an eye for detail. Of course, that wasn’t really news to him.
He stared out the window as the sky suddenly darkened.
Great. An afternoon thunderstorm to scare off the few customers he’d probably be getting. Just what he needed.
Rachel strode over to where he stood, dishrag in hand. “Looks like a pretty good storm brewing.” When she pushed back several dark curls from her face, he watched her intently. She looked almost regal as she gazed at him—a soft expression on her face.
But when a thunderbolt ripped across the sky, he flinched.
The shrill whistle of the four o’clock train followed, and he closed his eyes—remembering the dream he’d had countless times since the accident. It was always the same—the loud squeal of brakes—the piercing train whistle as it roared down the tracks—the deafening crash of metal. The memories all came flooding back, just as the therapist had warned him about.
The rain began pelting the windows, and he covered his ears, trying frantically to stop the high-pitched squealing as it reverberated throughout his head. Cradling his head in his hands, he let out a long, slow, loud wail.
His body was shaking, and for a second, he feared he’d pass out. When his heart began racing, he cursed aloud. “Stop! No!”
“Jake . . .”
As his head pounded, he shook violently as the train’s whistle continued blowing.
Dropping to one knee, he buried his head in his hands and cried out. Unable to stop himself, he continued hollering at the top of his lungs. Gasping for air, he felt himself losing consciousness.
Rachel’s grip was tight as she wrapped both her arms about him, helping him get back up. Her voice soothed him as she murmured, “Jake, it’s going to be all right, I promise. Let’s get you to the back room—away from the windows.”
His legs felt like rubber. Partly because he’d spent most of the day not relying on his crutches. And partly because the flashbacks that had plagued him refused to go away.
As Rachel led him toward the back room of the bar, away from all the commotion, he wondered if his life would ever return to normal.
~ ~ ~
Rachel struggled as she led Jake to the back room of his bar. As he leaned on her for support, she tried her best to be strong for him.
Lowering him onto a chair, she grabbed a blanket from a nearby shelf and covered him. She ran her hands along his back as he sat slumped in the chair, tears streaming down his face. In all their time together, she’d never once seen him cry.
“I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Rachel, what’s wrong with me?” When he finally stopped shaking, she breathed a sigh of relief.
“There. You see, it’s all right now. I’m going to get you some water. I’ll be right back.”
But as she prepared to leave, he grabbed her hand.
“What-what just happened?” His gaze held her-his dark eyes flashing as though he couldn’t let go. He looked vulnerable sitting there, staring blankly about the room as though stunned at what had occurred.
Reluctantly she left, heading straight to the bar to pour him some ice water.
She scoured the front area of the bar, relieved no one had walked in. If there was one thing she knew about Jake, it was that he was a proud man who liked to be in control. Clearly, things had changed.
Scrambling back to him, drink in hand, she knelt down again and handed him the water. “Drink this.”
“Th-Thank you.” Sipping the water, he looked away, as though embarrassed by what had occurred.
He sat quietly, staring down at the blanket covering him. The crow’s feet under his eyes revealed a man battling his demons. As she watched the way his jaw muscles were clenched, she knew he was struggling. Raking a hand through his hair, he looked away.
When he spoke, his speech was halted-his words stumbling over each other. “The therapist warned me about this . . .”
“You’re still going to see him, then?”
“Yes.”
A rush of relief surged through her. “I’m glad, Jake. Very glad.” She struggled to think of what else to say
. To the man’s credit, he was doing everything in his power to heal, and yet, here he was, months later, still struggling with the aftermath of the accident.
“Are-Are there any customers out there?” His voice sounded tired, and she suspected having an episode like he had just experienced left him drained.
“No, Jake, but it’s early.”
“Yes, yes, I expect it’s pretty early for people to drop by for a beer.”
She studied the worry lines on his face. Maybe constantly fretting about losing his business was contributing to his stress level. He generally hid his problems, kept things to himself when it came to the business.
If only there was something she could do to help him out. Secretly, she wondered if he’d ever consider selling the place. Because, if he did, it would certainly make his life a whole lot easier.
Wrapping her arms about him, she kissed his forehead. “I’ll go check the beer and make sure the tap lines are clear. You rest for a few minutes, Jake. I can handle things.”
She still had her arms wrapped about him when he spoke. “Rachel?”
Releasing her hold on him, she stepped back. “Yes?”
“Why?”
“Why what, Jake?”
“Why is this happening now, after all this time? The accident was months ago. Why do things seem to be getting worse instead of better?” His eyes penetrated her, and she wondered if he was frightened to death about what the future held.
She remembered her first teaching job in Dallas. A tragedy had occurred to the family of one of her students.
Sitting down on a stool near Jake, she shared the experience, hoping it would provide him some comfort. “Sometimes these things take a while to surface. Generally, that’s a sign that the person isn’t ready to deal with their tragedy. During my first year as an educator, I had a third-grader who’d lost his mother in a tragic shooting.”
Jake stared at her, a sad look sweeping across his face. “That’s horrible.”
“The father had killed her when she dropped their two boys off at daycare. The two-year-old boy didn’t remember it. The boy in my classroom was the older brother. He was five years old when the shooting took place, so he remembered things his little brother didn’t.” Her eyes welled up as she remembered how her student had struggled with this.
“I can’t even imagine . . .”
“By the time I taught the older brother, he was nine years old. The school had an army of counselors and therapists to help him deal with the tragedy, but he never talked about it. Then one day, I was reading a book. A perfectly innocent book that had absolutely nothing to do with anything sad. I was almost to the end of the book when the little boy raced over to a corner in the classroom and began screaming at the top of his lungs.”
Blinking back tears, Rachel continued. “Luckily another teacher ran into the room and took over for my class. I took my student out in the hall and he sobbed his heart out. He couldn’t stop crying.”
“What happened?”
“We got him help. Eventually, he learned how to deal with his grief. But the point I’m making is that with PTSD, it sometimes occurs when you least expect it. It’s not predictable.”
“I guess this might be a taste of what I should expect.”
“You’ve got a village of people who love you, Jake. We will do everything in our power to help you. You-You just have to reach out to us.”
He nodded and smiled faintly. “We should probably get back to work.”
“I’ll go out front. You stay here for a few more minutes. Until you feel comfortable.”
She left the back room, more worried about him than ever.
~ ~ ~
Two hours later, Jake stepped from the shower, feeling much better. After the incident at the bar, Rachel had insisted he go home. It hadn’t taken a lot of convincing on her part. The episode had left him exhausted and worried.
He dried off, headed to the bedroom, and changed into jeans and a shirt. After drying his hair, he sauntered over to the kitchen counter and poured himself a soda.
Had Rachel not been there during the episode, he had no idea how he’d have survived. There was an inner strength about her that he had desperately needed. Her touch had felt comforting, as though she’d help him deal with whatever ailed him. While the story she’d shared about one of her students hadn’t exactly given him a whole lot of hope, at least she’d been honest about what he might expect down the road. And like she said, he did have a pretty impressive support system.
When he heard a knock at the door, he walked over to answer it.
Rachel made her way inside, carrying a sack.
“Adam’s got everything under control at the bar. You don’t need to worry about a thing. I’m on my way to the diner for the late shift, but I thought I’d bring you dinner. Are you hungry?” She pulled out several items wrapped in yellow paper. He inhaled the smell of hamburger and onions. “If I wasn’t hungry before, I am now.”
“I know how much you love burgers. I brought you two.”
“This is awfully nice of you, Rachel. It really is.” As he stared at her, he noticed the worry lines around her eyes. Today had probably been a nightmare for her, too.
She placed a hand on his forearm, and when she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper. “You gave me quite a scare.”
Reaching for her hand, he linked her fingers through his. “I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been there, Rach.”
She gazed at him, the gentlest smile on her face. “I’m glad I was there, then.”
When he released her hand, she backed up against one of the kitchen cabinets, blinking back tears.
“I’m sorry to have scared you, Rachel.”
“That’s all right. Like I said before, I’m just glad I was there.”
She smiled and sighed, a deep, long sigh. The two locked gazes and she suddenly reached out, splaying the palms of her hands across his chest.
As she leaned into him, he felt the steady rhythm of her heart. The softness of her breasts awakened something in him. He felt aroused now-something he hadn’t experienced in a while.
“Jake . . .” Reaching up, she cradled his face with her hands, kissing him thoroughly.
The familiar longing intensified, and he lifted her onto the counter. Her warmth and familiar scent awakened something inside him, and as their tongues collided, he breathed a sigh of relief that his sexual appetite had returned.
But despite how deeply he wanted her, instinct told him this was a bad idea. Being sexually aroused was one thing; being able to satisfy a woman was another. He wouldn’t go this route; not until he spoke with a therapist about that.
He’d put a stop to this before he humiliated himself. If he let this go on and the two made love, Rachel would probably pretend to be satisfied when she really wasn’t. And he’d have none of that.
The mind game he was playing took its toll, and within a few seconds, he’d talked himself out of making love.
Releasing his grip on her, he pushed her away. “Let’s not do something stupid we’ll both regret.”
She backed up against a counter and stared at him, a puzzled expression on her face. “I hardly consider what we’re doing stupid. Jake, I care about you, and I’m pretty sure you care about me.”
“You’d probably better head over to the diner. What time does your shift start, anyway?”
She glared at him, her lower lip trembling. “My God, Jake, given what just happened, don’t you think we need to talk about this?”
“No, I don’t. This never should have happened.”
Her face turned ashen, as though she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “I’m sorry, Jake.”
“If you’re going to be working at the bar, nothing like this can ever h
appen again. Do you understand?”
As in control as she’d been only a few hours earlier during his episode, she now looked shaken. He made a point not to make eye contact. Because, if he did, he’d end up admitting that he was still in love with her.
And if he did that, no telling what she’d do with that bit of information. The two needed to keep a safe distance between them. There was just too much at stake. Rachel was off limits for him, and the sooner she figured that out, the better.
~ ~ ~
Rachel stared at Jake as he straightened his shirt and raked a hand through his hair. When he spoke, his voice had an edge to it. “I’m sorry things got out of hand.”
She’d say what he needed to hear, but from her perspective, what happened between had meant something. “I-I am too, Jake.“
Shaking his head, he folded his arms and glared at her. “I meant what I said about this never happening again.”
Disheartened by the scowl on his face, she nodded. “If-If that’s what you really want.”
“Damn straight it is. I’ll be sure and not schedule us for the same shift. That way we can avoid running into each other.” After he said it, the light in his eyes dimmed. The affection he’d previously shown had left, as though someone had infused him with a drug and sucked all emotion out of his body.
His reaction confused her. How could he stand there, acting as though he felt nothing when his body language told her otherwise? This was so unlike Jake to be this standoffish, this incredibly distant.
She got her bearings back and gathered her things. “I should probably head over to the diner. My shift starts in a few minutes.”
He nodded and exhaled sharply, as though relieved she’d be leaving.
“I stumbled across a couple more things you left here. I’ll go get them.” As he headed toward the bedroom, she watched him. He disappeared into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
She sighed, wondering how long the two could work together, given how she felt about him. The smart thing would be to quit working at Jake’s bar, but she needed the money.
