by Jack Taylor
*
I waited for Lee to catch his breath, which he did by inhaling from afull glass. Then he continued talking.
"All this occurred about the middle of Xenon's third month. Weexpected the skivies to arrive on a supply ship due the first of thefollowing month, which gave us nearly three Earth weeks to wait, butwe didn't mind. After all, we had something to wait _for_.
"The ship, bless the crew, was on schedule almost to the hour. Adamshad had his wide-angle 'scope aimed at the sky above Xenon since longbefore breakfast, and he and the detectors ran a dead heat when theship winked out of sub-space about two million or so miles out.
"By mid-morning, the ship's gravitors had floated her into the fieldfor the usual feather-light landing, and mail call, always the firstorder of business, was over.
"Women have a well-deserved reputation for dawdling over trifles whenimportant matters wait, but that morning Prunella broke all previousrecords. She gossiped with the ship's captain about interminablebills of lading, she inspected the field for any possible damage bythe ship, she swallowed enough coffee to start a fair-sized shortage.Finally, just in time to save the station from a mass nervouscollapse, she left the office for her quarters, carrying her mail inone hand and that small, all-important package in the other.
"She reappeared for lunch wearing the tiny smile of a woman who knowsshe is appreciated by _someone_ and, we hoped, also wearing somethingelse not quite so visible. Never was one so closely watched by somany. If she looked distressed, we gloated. If she squirmed in herchair, we rejoiced. Her every move was analyzed for possible puffsymptoms.
"Prunella, that evening, dined as the captain's guest aboard ship. Inthe mess hall, with Mr. Paulson installed in the seat of honor, thearguments were long, loud and heated: She had 'em on. She didn't. Thepuffs had her. They didn't.
"I hadn't realized there were so many synonyms for fool and idiot orso many genteel ways to sneer until my learned colleagues that nightdebated the case of the puffs versus Prunella. We went to bed still inan agony of indecision."
* * * * *
Lee waited for me to be appropriately sympathetic. I obliged.
"The next morning, Prunella had breakfast alone in her quarters, butthen she often did. Or I should say she ordered breakfast sent andthen ate only a little of it and sent it back. A short while later,Prunella left her room, went to the library and returned to herquarters with a spool of microfilm in her hand. All the people whocould cram into the tiny library cubicle were in before the hiss ofPrunella's closing door died away. A wild rape of the library filesimproved our digestions, dispositions and belief in the ultimatetriumph of good over evil--Prunella had withdrawn the film on 'Effectsof Xenon Life-forms on the Human Body.'
"I learned later that some far-sighted soul had added lurid details tothe section of the film dealing with the puffs, describing minutelywhat one could expect after powder puff infestation. Odd thing about afew of those added details--some of the more horrible ones had neverbeen noticed before nor have they been reported since.
"Prunella went aboard the supply ship _Hunter_ shortly after noon,scratching determinedly in several places that no lady should, atleast in public.
"The captain, most of his loading done and seeing her dire need,blasted off for Terra immediately and flipped into sub-space muchcloser to the planet than he should have. Prunella was on Terra thatsame night, Xenon time. The captain told me on his next trip thatPruny had commandeered both quarantine nurses at Polar Space Field towork on her. It still took the two women several hours to finish,according to him. She must have been covered with the things. Bet shelooked as though she were sprouting fur."
"One thing I don't understand," I told Lee. "You kept referring to a'treatment' of some kind for the powder puffs. Didn't Prunella knowabout it? If she did, I don't see why she didn't take it on Xenon.Surely, at the risk of being insubordinate, you didn't deny it to herif she had ordered it."
"Quite the contrary, Sam. Prunella knew all about the 'treatment.' Andin spite of your suspicions as to our hard hearts, many of us offeredour services after leering in what we hoped was a suggestive manner.You see, Sam, the mysterious treatment consisted of nothing more thana very close examination of every square centimeter of the skin with ahigh-power magnifier and using a pair of fine tweezers to pull out thepuff rootlets. But in addition to all of Prunella's other faultsand/or virtues, Prunella was a prude."
We drank a silent toast to pure womanhood.
--JACK TAYLOR
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