by Cee, DW
I hadn’t seen my bride all day today. If my future mother-in-law hadn’t assured me as many times as she did, I would’ve thought Jenna was avoiding me. I only begged that they wouldn’t allow her to run away. I’d be a fool to believe my bride was in one-hundred percent for my crazy idea of getting engaged and married within twenty-four hours. If I’d given her time to think, we’d never arrive at the wedding day. I was confident I could make her and our family happy. It might be a tough road ahead, but we’d fight through the obstacles. The past three years had to have been the worst of it.
“Xander!” Beth called.
Last night, I’d called Marcus and Johnny and told them the good news. Johnny and the family were back in London so they couldn’t make it to the wedding, but Marcus and Beth flew out with their two children, this morning, to celebrate with us.
“Thank you guys for coming. You really didn’t need to uproot the family on such short notice.”
“Are you kidding me? We wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
“The girls are getting their nails done. There are two chairs reserved for you and Joleen if you’re still interested.”
“Are we girls?” she asked with laughter. “Let’s go, Joleen. Let’s go see what Alex and her mommy are up to; we have a lot to talk about during our beauty session.”
“I can’t believe you did it,” my buddy declared. “Beth and I were hopeful, but we didn’t know what the outcome would be. Jenna stood her ground pretty strong. How’d you break her down?”
“Friend, I don’t know that I’ve broken her down. There’s still a chance that she might be a runaway bride.”
“What?” Marcus asked with a half-chuckle.
“Let me buy you and Jack lunch and I’ll tell you the entire one-minute story of how this wedding came to be.”
*******
“Mom, look. My fingers are pink.”
“I see, Alexandria. Will your toes be pink, too?”
She nodded furiously. “I like pink.”
“I know you do, Baby.”
“What’s with the ‘Mom’ lingo?” Beth asked.
“I’ve no idea. She just woke up one morning and decided I was Mom rather than Momma. I have no clue how this girl operates. She’s an enigma, like her father, much of the times.”
“Enigma or not, you’re marrying him. The father of your child must have some redeeming qualities.”
I shouldn’t have, but I lost it and laughed like a lunatic. Everyone in this big salon peered over, not so inconspicuously. “I don’t think I ever said yes to Xander’s non-existent proposal. He let it be known that we were getting married today. He pushed me out of his bedroom and told to me get ready for a wedding. He also told me to buy a dress for myself and our girl. Never once was there even a nod agreeing to this insane idea.”
Now it was Beth doing the lunatic laughter. “This is so great! So did you buy a dress…just in case?”
“I did…just in case.”
“Will you show up to your own wedding?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m considering it.”
“Have you talked to Xander about any of this?”
I shook my head no. “Purposely, I’ve avoided him all day.”
“So he’s sweating on the inside wondering if you’ll show up to your own wedding?”
I shrugged my shoulders again. “Who knows? I told you that Xander was an enigma. To this day, I don’t understand him.”
“Do you understand that he loves you?”
“No.”
“Do you love him?”
That answer didn’t come as readily but I couldn’t lie. “Yes.”
“Does he know you love him?”
“Probably since I’ve thrown myself at him from the day we met. Next to me sits the prime example of my undying love for Xander Blane.”
I looked to my daughter who flashed a brilliant smile and said, “Hi Mom. I like manicures and pedicures.”
“I’m sure you do, Baby. When we get home, you can make a standing reservation.” She had no clue what I’d said. She went back to staring at the woman who was about to put sparkly dots on her fingers.
“I can’t wait to see you walk down that aisle, Jenna.” Beth spoke in such a way that was almost a reassurance that I’d show up to my own wedding.
“You and Xander, both.” I added.
*******
“How’s Jenna’s mood?” I asked my sister who was trying to tie the bow on Alex’s dress.
“Not sure. Your almost-wife has a serious poker face. None of us could get much out of her today.”
Frustrated, I said, “Didn’t you spend the entire day with her? How could you not know?”
“Like I said, she has a serious poker face. You should take her to Vegas for your honeymoon.”
“Shit! Honeymoon. I didn’t plan anything for us.”
My sister laughed. “How could you? You forced her to marry you last night. Your engagement isn’t even twenty-four hours old.”
“It’s almost sunset. Where the hell is she? The wedding is supposed to start soon.”
“Not sure, Xander. Last I saw, she was headed to the villa.”
“The villa?” What the hell was she doing there when the rest of us were here? I asked the officiating pastor to give me a few minutes, ran to the concierge and picked out a suitable honeymoon in record time, and then ran, again, to our vacation rental. “Jenna?” I was met with silence. “Jenna.” Still, no one answered. I opened the door to my bride’s room and there she was, sitting in a chair, looking out the window facing the ocean. “Jenna.” This last time, I called out with care. She wouldn’t face me, but she also didn’t tell me to get the hell out of here. That was a good sign. “Are you ready?” was all I asked.
“I’m scared, Xander.”
“I’m scared too,” I answered, “not of marrying you, but of being rejected by you.”
“I’ve never rejected you.”
“When you’re not with me, you’re rejecting me, Jenna. I promise you’ll only smile from this day forth—there will be no more tears.” I declared.
“That’s what I’m scared of, Xander.”
“I don’t understand, Jenna.”
“I’m scared of being happy with you. Those smiles will only make the tears that much more painful.”
I hated that she was afraid of life with me. “Jenna Ashe.” I turned her around to face me. “I love you with everything that I am. You will truly make me the happiest man if you’d trust me to make you happy. I won’t stop until I see you smiling daily and feeling secure about us. I will earn your trust, friendship, and love again. Please say you’ll commit yourself to me so I can have a lifetime to take care of you and our beautiful children.”
Being Jenna, she didn’t fully believe me, but she also didn’t push me away. She placed her hand in my outstretched one and allowed me to lead us to our ceremony.
*******
Shit. I was a married woman now. Not only was I married, but I was married to Xander Blane—the man of my dreams and nightmares.
“Call me crazy, but I don’t think a bride should grimace on her wedding day. What has you fretting?” My husband asked.
“Like a virgin bride, I’m fretting the wedding night.” I didn’t know where that smart-aleck answer came from. I wasn’t afraid of our wedding night, was I?
Xander’s guffaw caught the attention of everyone in our private dining room. Fortunately, he didn’t explain the reason for his laughter.
“I promise to be gentle,” he whispered before lightly sucking on my neck. “It’ll be a long night of sweet and tender loving. It’s been too long, Jenna.”
“I’m sure it’s been much longer for me than it has been for you.” Why I kept saying these smartass remarks was beyond me. “Sorry. That wasn’t nice.”
There was still laughter in his eyes. “You’ll be surprised at what a good boy I’ve been since you left me.”
I almost wanted to call him a liar, but som
ehow, I held back. “With Alex in our room, I’m sure there will be plenty of action tonight.”
“Oh ye of little faith...” He was now kissing right behind my ear. “Let’s go chat with Marcus and Beth.”
“Jenna. May we talk with you for a few minutes? Would that be all right, Xander?”
“Of course, Mom.” The Mom that he was addressing was my mom. When had that happened?
“How are you?” Mom asked. “You’ve barely cracked a smile.”
“Is it that bad, Mom? Do I look that unhappy?”
Dad chuckled. “You’re somewhere between lost and pissed. Your mother and I thought we should check up on you before you and Xander left.”
“What do you mean, ‘left,’ Dad? Where are we going?”
Mom changed subjects and asked, “How are you really doing, Jenna. If you’re that unhappy, we can ask that the marriage be annulled.”
I knew she, nor my dad, would allow this marriage to be anything but a valid one. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Though I haven’t admitted this to my husband, Xander will be good to me and this is the best course of action for our daughter.”
“You didn’t marry Xander for Alex...did you?”
“Mom,” I tried to reassure her. “I’m fine. I’ll do my best to look happier. I’m just a little overwhelmed right now.”
“All right, Sweetheart. Tell us if you need anything.”
“I will.”
I couldn’t tell my parents all the question marks swirling in my head.
Why had I done this?
Where were we going with this?
What would I do if he hurt me again?
Was I ready to be in love with Xander Blane again?
Shit! I was now Jenna Blane.
Dear God. What had I done?
*******
“Your bride still looks like she’s going to run.” Marcus’ joke wasn’t all that much of a joke. He hit it on the nose. “Why don’t you leave your daughter with us and take off?”
“I think I might. Thanks for coming. I appreciate your friendship and support.”
Marcus chuckled. “Beth and I never thought we’d see the day you were married with kids. Though it was done a little backwards, you did it. Congrats, Man.”
“Thank you.”
“Take good care of your wife, Xander.”
“Yes, Beth. I will.”
With those words, I went to both sets of parents and announced, “I think I’ll take Jenna now. You’ll be all right with our daughter?”
My sister joined us and answered, “The question is, will you be all right without your daughter?”
“Isn’t that the truth. If you’ll all come with me, we’ll say our good-byes to Alex, and you can take her. Are you sure you’ll be OK taking care of her?”
Mom answered, “Xander. Lena and I have raised kids before. Don’t worry about us. You worry about taking care of your wife.”
That was sound advice. “Thank you all for your help. I promise to get it right this time.”
“Like you have a choice but to get it right,” my sister warned.
My posse and I walked to Alex, and I took her from Jenna’s arms. “Alex. You remember what we talked about today?” She shook her head no. “Remember how I told you that you were going to have fun with Grandma Tiffany and Grandma Lena and Grandpa Richard and Grandpa Chris?” She happily nodded yes.
“Don’t forget Auntie Lex and your friends, Joleen and Jack. We have a fun-filled few days planned.” My sister did her best to help this transition.
“You be a good girl for your momma and daddy, and we’ll see you in a few days, all right?”
Though she nodded yes, she was wary. She jumped back into her mother’s arms. “Let’s go, Momma. I want to go nigh nigh.”
Reverting to Momma wasn’t a good sign for me. “Alex. Momma and I will be back very soon.” I tried to pull her away but she wouldn’t let go.
“Xander,” Jenna held onto her daughter, “where are we going and why are we not taking our daughter?”
As much as I liked hearing Jenna address me as her partner in life, we needed our time away. I looked to the other ladies in the room.
Lex stepped up and said, “Alex, I have a surprise for you in my room. You want to see it?”
My daughter was no fool. She didn’t want to let go, but she was curious. “Surprise?” she asked.
“Yes. A huge surprise!” Lex tempted her. “Let’s go!”
Our daughter wavered just enough for my sister to be able to sway her. Before she left, Jenna and I gave her one more kiss.
“What’s this all about?” Jenna wondered.
“Jenna Blane.” I liked the sound of that. “We just got married.”
“And?”
“What do all married people do after their wedding?” For some reason, she had no answer. So I had to spell it out for her. “They go on a honeymoon, that’s what they do.”
“Oh,” she mouthed.
“There’s a helicopter waiting to take us. We need to head out.” I pulled along an unwilling woman. Her eyes and heart were still with her daughter. “We’ll be back in a couple of days. I’d like to take you away for a longer period but I thought you wouldn’t like being away from our daughter.”
“You were right. Where are we going?”
“Molokai.”
“Isn’t that where they used to quarantine all the leprosy patients?”
I howled. “Are you serious?” The laughter wouldn’t subside. “After all the trouble I went through to find us a private, nearby island so we’d have our alone-time where you’d also be near our daughter...you accuse me of taking you to a leper colony?” She nodded yes. “It’s good to have you back, Jenna Blane. This is going to be fun.”
*******
We took a short helicopter ride to our almost-private island. There was hardly anyone here. Honestly, in this dark night, it was kind of creepy to be in a place where there was hardly any life.
“Do people not have electricity here?” The guffawing started again. “What are we to do here?” Shit. Did I really want him to answer that question? “Never mind. Don’t say anything. Let’s go in and check out the house. It’s quite big for two people. It’s big enough for each of us to have our own wing. How many bedrooms are there?” I strung a bunch of useless words together to appease my nerves.
“I’ve no idea. Only one concerns me—ours.”
“Shit.” I mumbled and headed into our palace.
“I knew this was the rental house for us when I saw the bathroom. Shall we unwind in here first?” Xander opened the door to bliss. The bathroom contained a wooden soaking tub, a dry sauna, a wet sauna, and two massage tables. What was most spectacular was the view. Everything faced the ocean. Though it was dark, the lights on the wraparound lanai coupled with the moonlight illuminated the beauty of the ocean. “I believe our masseuses are here.” As soon as he finished saying those words, two women walked in and prepared our table. As soon as they left, Xander began undressing and laid himself down. I couldn’t help but semi-ogle his chiseled body. He was no less gorgeous than the last time I saw him naked.
I placed a towel over his naked rear, itching to slap it instead. Being the good girl that I was, I kept my hand to myself. “Where did you find these ladies at this late hour?”
His lips formed a beautiful semi-circle as he answered, “Contrary to your beliefs, there is life here and people work for a living. You pay enough money, your wish is their command. I was told these ladies were the best masseuses on this leprosy colony. Stop stalling, take off your clothes, and let’s start off this honeymoon right.”
What else could I do but follow his instructions?
Whoever told Xander that these ladies were the best masseuses on the island wasn’t wrong. They worked out every kink and relaxed me for the night ahead. Xander was lightly snoring during parts of the treatment.
Once we were done, we wrapped ourselves in a plush robe and headed to the dry sauna.
I could get used to this.
“Talk to me, Jenna,” were not the words I expected, nor wanted, to hear.
“About what?” I feigned ignorance and stupidity.
“Everything.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek like a little boy. It was sweet. “From the day you left my house to the day I came to you and our daughter at the park—I want to hear everything.”
“What for, Xander? We’re married now. You got what you wanted. We’re a family. There’s no need to dredge up old hurts.”
“I need to hear every last detail so I can make up for all your pain. My mind won’t settle until I know I’ve kissed every hurt and made right every wrong. You and our daughter are the most important people to me. How can I function knowing you carry wounds, caused by me, every day? Please talk to me.”
So, I began. “When I left your house, part of me believed it was over, but the other part hoped it was just another argument. You and I have always argued about one thing or another, so I believed our differences could be resolved.”
“Then why didn’t you come back to me right away and demand a resolution?”
“Because I was scared that the first part of me was correct. What if you weren’t willing to meet me halfway? I was deeply in love with you—”
He cut me off to say, “And it never occurred to you that I felt the same way?”
I shook my head in a silent no. “What I felt from you was a lot of emotions, love not being one of them. In many ways, I felt like a kept woman. You offered me everything but your heart—at least that’s what I believed. I understood us to be temporary. Because of that, I didn’t want your monetary offers. I didn’t want to end up with nothing.”
“Jenna.” Xander’s exasperated tone hadn’t changed since the day we met. It was a low, disapproving din. “Glass half empty—that’s what you are, Jenna Blane.”
“I know,” I mimicked his sigh. “Watching our relationship was like watching an hourglass. I kept wondering when time would expire.”
“So rather than enjoying what we had, you prepared your heart for the end?”
“I guess...but in the end, I wasn’t wrong to do that, was I.” I put that as a statement rather than a question.
