My grip on the dress shirt tightens as I try to swallow.
“Morning,” I mutter and glance at my suitcase, desperate to change and try to collect myself.
“Drew brought it over this morning.” Alec closes the laptop and leans back in his seat, his eyes assessing me. “I thought about bringing it up to you, but I didn’t want to wake you.”
My throat’s tight as I answer, “Thank you.”
“How did you sleep?” he asks. I wonder if this is normal for him, to have random women in his clothes parading through his house half-naked on the weekends.
The thought makes me angry and fuels me to walk toward my suitcase.
Last night was a mistake.
“Fine, thank you,” I answer him brusquely although I can’t look him in the eyes. I stop when he asks me, “Is something wrong?”
“Just feeling out of sorts.” I hope he’ll just accept it and let me go about my way. I’m a fool for getting drunk last night.
“Do you need help with that?” he offers and rises from his seat.
I shake my head so fast that my hair swishes against my shoulders.
“Are you being shy?” he asks me, walking around the counter to a coffee maker. The sight is instantly accompanied by the smell of coffee, and that alone is enough to tempt me to stay just a bit longer.
Shy? Not quite the right word. I clear my throat. “Just a bit embarrassed about last night,” I admit, feeling anxiety creep through me.
“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” Alec says as he takes a mug out and pours a cup of black coffee. I note that he doesn’t add either creamer or sugar as he takes a sip.
He stares at the coffee and then across the room to look at me as he says, “I enjoyed last night.”
The way he says it makes me question if we did have sex. We didn’t though. I distinctly remember coming on to him and being denied.
I hesitate to come up with a response, and he smiles at my frustration. “It was fun having someone to talk to. I really enjoy your company, Lila,” he says with his voice full of sincerity.
I nod my head once. “It was… fun,” I finally say.
A deep rough chuckle fills the room. “Is that why you seem to be in a hurry to leave?” he asks, and it makes me feel like shit. I don’t want to be obvious, but really, what did he expect? Maybe it would have been different had I woken up in his bed in the morning, but then again, it probably would have made me feel even more like shit.
“I just don’t do this,” I say and gesture between us.
“I don’t either,” he’s quick to reply and then takes another sip of his coffee. He gives me a tight smile as he says, “You’re the first person to stay here since my brother’s left.”
His admission catches me off guard. I’m not that naïve. I narrow my eyes at him, but he only shakes his head. “I wouldn’t lie, Lila.” He reaches into the cabinet, turning away from me and picking up a mug. The ceramic clinks against another cup before he sets it down on the counter.
“Would you like a cup? Maybe some coffee and a hot shower will have you feeling better?” he offers.
The thought of both a hot shower and fresh cup of coffee makes me relax almost instantly.
Yes, that’s just what I need. “Please,” I answer and walk toward the island. I’m acutely aware I’m only in Alec’s dress shirt and my underwear, but he doesn’t seem to mind in the least. His reaction is surprising, in the best of ways. “When I came down here, I wasn’t sure what to expect,” I tell him and watch for his response.
“And?” he asks me.
“And what?”
“Are you happy I hadn’t run off?” he asks with a smile and then brings the cup to me. “Sugar?” he asks. I stare at him from across the counter.
“You don’t have to do this,” I tell him simply. “You don’t need to cater to me and do all of this-”
“Do you think I don’t want to?” he cuts me off, not bothering to wait for me to answer that yes, I do like sugar and creamer. Instead he goes about fetching both, setting them on the counter opposite me. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to, Lila.” His brow creases as he looks back at me. “Like I said, I enjoy your company and there’s certainly nothing wrong with me being accommodating for a guest.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, giving in and trying to show my gratitude.
“You’re skeptical, and it’s because I’m attracted to you,” he tells me as I spoon out a large heap of raw sugar and dump it into the steaming mug. I nod my head once, my eyebrows rising.
“Yes,” I say and look him in the eyes. “You just want to get into my pants?” It was meant to be a statement, but it turned into a question.
He smirks at me. “If that was the case, we’d still be in bed, Miss Travers.”
I glance down at a dark gray swirl in the granite countertop and then back up to him, picking up the small porcelain pitcher of creamer and watching it lighten the dark coffee. “Why is it that we aren’t?” I ask him slowly and carefully, dreading the answer.
When I look up at him, I find him looking at me with pure unadulterated pleasure. As if I’m the most amusing thing he’s ever seen.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, feeling a small smile pulling my lips up simply in response to him.
“You’re cute,” he says and that smile gets bigger. I shake my head and take a sip of the coffee. It smells rich, tastes delicious and the warmth is desperately needed. It’s heaven.
“You make me nervous,” I tell him as I put the mug down.
“You’re less nervous when you’re drunk,” he tells me and then lays his forearms on the counter, leaning closer to me. “But I didn’t want to take you to bed and have you not remember it.”
I nod and feel my cheeks flame, casting my eyes down.
“You did promise me a date last night,” Alec says as he pushes away from the counter and out of my reach, the movement catching my attention.
“Did you really bring me out here...” I start to ask and then have to trail off as my head pounds with a morning headache from caffeine withdrawal or maybe a hangover. I grip the mug with both hands. “Did you bring me out here simply because you wanted to sleep with me?” I can't help but ask him the annoying thought that’s been bugging me.
Alec scratches the back of his head, looking away from me for a moment. “I shouldn’t have said that last night,” he starts, and I have to cut him off.
“Are you saying you should have lied?” I ask. I don’t know why I’m feeling so defensive, or so much like I want to run.
“I’m saying, your editor contacted me and I requested you. I looked into the others, but I admired your writing and found you attractive,” he says easily, the tension in the air dissipating. “It doesn’t hurt that I’ve been alone for a long time and the thought of taking you on a date after the interview… well, I couldn’t say no to that.”
“Our interview isn’t over,” I say, trying to remember if I even started a write-up last night. I’m confused with which direction to take the article. Do I go with something that will sell but still be business-oriented that my editor will find appropriate? Or should I stick to what I really want to write?
“First dates are interviews, Lila. And ours went great last night,” Alec says with his eyes on me as he raises the mug of coffee to his lips. There’s a challenge in his gaze, and I play along.
“Last night was not a date.” The strength in my voice is gone, and I have to bite down on my lip to keep from smiling.
He doesn’t hold back his own as he sets down the mug and swallows. My eyes are drawn to his neck and then up to his lips as he licks them.
“If that’s the way you want to play this, that’s fine. I’d love to have another non-date with you tonight, Miss Travers. But first, an interview over coffee and brunch in town.”
“Just an interview?” I ask him, feeling disappointed although I’ve brought this on myself.
He closes the space between us with his large st
rides. He gets near enough to where I can touch him if I want, near enough to where he could lean down and put his lips on mine. But neither of those things happens. Instead he leans against the counter and merely stares down at me. The heat crackling between us begs me to initiate something. I refuse it though, gripping my coffee mug and pretending the sexual tension doesn’t exist.
“It was never just an interview,” he says just above a murmur and the way he says it makes me more than certain those words are the absolute truth. He leans forward, his lips close to my ear, his hot breath trailing down my shoulder and he whispers, “Shower first, and then our date.”
Lila
I suppose it’s only natural that Alec takes me to a quaint diner. It’s a small town, and it makes sense we’d have an early brunch in a corner booth on the far end of a mom and pop shop.
And maybe it makes sense that everyone keeps giving us odd glances, too. I’m new, and unfamiliar. But constantly feeling their gazes makes me uneasy. I keep glancing between the dark blue paisley window covers and the small crowd on the other side of the diner. Each time there’s someone staring back. It’s almost like a game at this point.
“Are they bothering you?” Alec asks me, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I shake my head, both hands wrapped around the white ceramic mug in my hands. Tea this time, not coffee. I limit myself to two cups a day for the sake of my teeth. Coffee’s worse than smoking for your teeth, or so I’ve heard. “I’m just not used to…” I pause and take a moment, trying to come up with the right word. “Attention.”
I can still taste the sugary icing from the honey bun I practically devoured. I have a sweet tooth that this diner could certainly satisfy, and I keep eyeing the bit of icing left on the plate sitting on the edge of the table.
Alec nods his head, looking down at the cup of black coffee he hasn’t touched since the waitress set it down. “It may have been a mistake to come here,” Alec murmurs as he looks past me for a moment.
“Oh?” I chew the inside of my lip, letting my nerves get the best of me. I feel like I’m walking on the edge with this man, teeter-tottering between falling for him and keeping myself guarded. I’m not sure which way I’ll fall, but either way, I know I’m going to land hard on my ass.
Alec leans forward, resting his forearms against the pale blue tablecloth and says in a hushed voice, “They’re watching us to see who you are to me.” His piercing gaze holds me steady as his words register. The small chatter and clinking of utensils turns to white noise.
“Who I am?” I ask him as my heart seems to slow, each beat hurting just slightly. Just enough to notice it.
I look down at my cup and lift the tea bag up with my spoon and then lower it back down, letting the dark tea mix with the hot water. “Who would that be?” I ask him although another question rests right on the tip of my tongue.
“A good girl who deserves more than a man like me,” he says without missing a beat.
I search his eyes, wondering why he said that. “Are you a bad man?” The words slip out without my consent. The moment they leave my lips, I want to snatch them back to keep Alec from hearing, but they’re already gone.
He doesn’t flinch like I thought he would. He doesn’t seem shocked at all by my question. And maybe that’s more alarming than anything else.
“My father was,” Alec says, not breaking my gaze. “And recently there was an incident with my brother.”
His expression reflects pain at the mention of his brother. His light eyes smolder, and his lips turn down.
“Did you hurt him?” I ask. I hardly know Alec, but I can sense a darkness in him. More out of pain than anything else. But it’s there, just beneath the surface. It’s in the way he carries himself. Even the way he speaks.
Alec shakes his head and says, “Never.” He taps his fingers against the mug, and I look up past him at a woman in the very back. She’s staring at us shamelessly, and I hate it.
“My brother’s a good man. He’s nothing like my father.” His voice holds conviction, and I find myself confused.
“What then?”
“Do you remember how I told you about the tincture? How I drank it to prove to my brother that it was pointless?” he asks me, and the reminder makes my heart flicker with pain. As if it splinters.
I simply nod and pick up the tea cup, holding it closer, but not drinking.
“He found someone that day, and their relationship is questionable,” he says.
Immediately my defenses rise as I blurt out, “It’s no one else’s business.” Anger brims just beneath the surface. “No one has a right to judge a relationship-”
Alec cuts me off by saying, “Even I question it, Lila.” I’m silenced and stunned by his admission. “I’m not sure she wants to…” He trails off and runs his hand through his hair, the air turning uncomfortable. “I’m not sure she’s interested in being with him as much as he is her,” Alec explains, and that definitely changes things.
My eyes catch a glimpse of a man turning to look over his shoulder at us. He’s quick to look away, but it’s then that everything makes sense. Small towns and gossip go hand in hand.
“Did your brother hurt her?” I ask softly, chancing a glance at him.
His expression hardens, but he hesitates to answer. “She said no and he did as well, but…” He pauses and clears his throat, readjusting in his seat. “It doesn’t look good from the outside,” he finally says.
“What does it look like from the outside?” I ask.
His expression hardens and he mutters, “Like she’s going to leave him.” He blows on his coffee and takes a drink before adding, “It’ll destroy him if she…” Alec doesn’t finish, shrugging his shoulders and setting the coffee mug down.
My fingers trail down the hot ceramic and then I lift it to my lips as Alec tells me, “I haven’t talked to anyone about it.”
“About your brother?” I ask.
He nods. “It’s been difficult to handle because I don’t know how to help,” he admits, and my instinct is to reach my hand out to him. He huffs a sad laugh, putting his large hand over mine and squeezing it lightly.
“This is too much, isn’t it?” he asks me with that sadness reflected in his eyes. “I haven’t even known you for twenty-four hours, yet I’ve told you more personal things than I’ve told anyone else really.” He lets go of my hand to take a sip of his coffee.
“Why me?” I feel compelled to ask.
“I don’t know,” he says after a long moment. “Maybe it’s just the situation.” He pulls his hand away, nestling his back against the booth and I miss the warmth of his hand instantly. “I feel helpless about my brother. I’m alone for the first time in a very long time, and I’m only just now realizing how empty my life has been.” His confession makes my face crumple.
He gives me that sad smile again. “Being quiet and holding it in hasn’t worked well for me. When I saw you,” he says and his eyes burn into me, “I felt like you would understand somehow. Or at least that you would keep my secrets.”
“Maybe you feel safe with me because I’m leaving,” I offer and when I do, his expression changes. He straightens his shoulders, and it’s obvious he doesn’t like what I’ve said. “I mean that I’m not a threat to you in any way.” I try to lighten the weight of my words as he recoils right in front of me.
“You have no idea how much you threaten me. You make me feel weak, Lila.”
Every inch of my skin tingles with awareness. I lick my lips as his eyes heat.
I can’t breathe; I can’t even react. Just two weeks ago I was on the other side of the country, completely oblivious to this man’s existence.
He runs his hands through his hair again and turns to his left, looking out of his window. “I’m sorry,” he says before turning to look me in the eyes and adding, “I know it must sound crazy.”
“Someone asked me once if I believed in love at first sight,” I say without thinking, just speaking what’s on m
y mind. “I told them no, but I was lying.”
Alec huffs a small laugh, and it makes me smile. “Not that I’m saying it’s love, because it could be lust,” I say.
“There’s definitely lust,” Alec says in a low tone that vibrates through my body. My chest and cheeks warm and I take a sip of the lukewarm tea, feeling a mix of emotions. I keep thinking back to the tincture. How Alec drank it, how he stayed in a room all day and refused to see anyone. Maybe he delayed it? It’s naïve and childish to think of potions and magic, or rituals and séances. Those things don’t exist in real life.
I shake off the feeling and my eyes catch sight of a young girl staring at us. Her mother’s hand is on her shoulder and everyone else turns away when my gaze reaches them, but not the young girl.
I smile back at her and lift my hand to wave. With the motion, Alec looks behind him, and as the girl waves back he hesitates, but waves as well.
“You’re cute,” I tell him as I reach into my purse for my wallet.
“First, that’s my line. Second, don’t you even think about paying.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet before I can reach mine at the bottom of my bag.
“Well, thank you; it was going to be a business expense though.”
“I think business is over, Lila,” Alec says with a look in his eyes that strums my desire to life. “We should get out of here.”
Lila
“I should go back to the cabin,” I tell Alec, but I don’t mean it. Every bit of me, down to my very soul, feels for him. In such a short period, he’s opened up to me, confided in me. He needs someone so desperately.
We drive in comfortable silence. Maybe he's thinking the same as me. Where is this going? What are we doing? How will this end?
The moment we stepped into his warm foyer and out of the cold, the questions seemed to fall silent, replaced by a desire I can’t contain.
I slip off my coat slowly, not looking at him, but watching in my periphery as he locks the front door.
Don't Let Go Page 4
