by Karen Kelley
The party was still raging on late that night when Breaker came up to her. “Want to get out of here?”
She nodded, having no idea where they were about to go. “Should we tell everyone goodbye?” She didn’t want to just leave, especially since most of them had risked their lives to keep her safe.
“Nah, we’ll come back tomorrow and say our goodbyes.”
Granny said Breaker had inherited his place, so she assumed they were going there. Once they were at the boat, he helped her inside. The sun had already gone down, but he lit a lantern on the end of the boat to light the way.
"Nice headlight," she said with a wobbly smile. She was trying desperately to feel something. She felt as if she was in a snow globe and someone had shaken it. Marco had defined her life for so long. It was as if her life was coming back in a rush. She was reliving everything he'd done to her.
He smiled back. “Whatever works.”
Let it go, let it go.
She could do this.
She rested her elbows on the seat behind her and looked up at the shadows cast by the full moon through the overhanging limbs. When she inhaled, she caught the sweet scent of night flowers blooming. She understood how Breaker could fall in love with the area. It was enchanted. Almost as if time had forgotten this little part of the world. A place where time had stopped. That’s how she felt, as if time had forgotten about her. Her life had stood still when she left with Marco that day.
Breaker pulled up to the bank, then jumped out and tied the boat off so it wouldn't drift away. After he helped her out, he grabbed the lantern, and they walked up the short rise. A cloud had drifted in front of the moon, so she didn't see anything at first, but the clouds suddenly parted, and she was able to see the house. Like Granny's, it was on stilts.
“This is where you grew up,” she said.
“I thought we could stay the night here. It’ll be quiet. The party at Granny’s won’t end until sometime tomorrow.” He grinned sheepishly. “Cajuns like to party.”
She smiled as they walked up the short flight of stairs that led to the porch. She stopped once she reached the top. “I can still hear the music. That’s how they knew you were home. When you played the accordion that first night.”
He nodded and took her into his arms. A shiver rippled over her.
A soft breeze lightly caressed them. She'd initially thought they built their houses on stilts in case of flooding, but she had a feeling it was so they could catch the flow of air as well. She'd discovered this part of Louisiana was hot and muggy in August. The air circulation was nice.
They went inside, and he gave her a tour. There were two small bedrooms, and the rest of the house was open. The windows were up to catch the breeze.
“It’s nice,” she said.
“Some people would be turned off by the swamp and the old houses.” He watched her.
She shook her head. "It's a mansion compared to where my sisters and I grew up. As far as the swamp goes, I think it's magical. I would take all of this over the luxury of the way Marco lived. I like your relatives too. Especially Leonie and Granny."
He laughed and pulled her back into his arms. “And they’re pretty good shots.”
"Thank goodness since I didn't have a gun handy."
“I’ll make sure I buy you one.”
She leaned back. “I have a job, I have you know. I can buy my own gun.”
“You’re getting feisty.”
Small talk. She hugged him close, then walked over to the open door and looked out. “I used to be. I will be again.” When he didn’t say anything, she wondered what he was thinking. She didn’t have long to wait.
“You’re safe now. Do you know what you want to do with your life? You have nothing holding you back.”
Right now, she wanted to stay with him, but she sensed a change. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Almost as if he was putting distance between them, but why? He was her link to normalcy, and right now, it was tenuous at best.
“You don’t have to decide now. You have plenty of time.”
“Of course. I have all the time in the world.” Was he telling her their relationship was over? She didn’t know how that worked. He was probably glad she was safe, but he’d basically told her it was time to move on. She closed her eyes tight for a moment.
Don’t show emotions. Hold everything inside.
“I think I’ll go to bed. I’m really exhausted.”
It was a long time before she fell asleep. She heard the door to the other bedroom close. A tear slid down her cheek.
Nothing lasts forever.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Savannah was quiet on the way home. Breaker wondered what she was thinking, but dammit, he was afraid to ask. What had he expected? That she profess her undying love for him? She was free of Marco. She could live her life as she saw fit. As soon as she’d said she was going to bed last night, he’d felt her pulling away.
“You can stay at the apartment as long as you want,” he suddenly blurted.
"Thank you. I'll probably start looking for my own place tomorrow."
He pulled up beside the apartment and turned the engine off. “Yeah, that’ll be fine.” He’d had some crazy idea that she wouldn’t want to leave him.
He opened his door, then got out, slamming it shut a little harder than he’d intended. He took a slow, deep breath, then exhaled before he opened the back door and grabbed his bag off the seat. He didn’t wait, but he heard her door close.
He supposed none of what they’d shared had meant anything to her. Carter had tried to warn him, but he hadn’t listened. When the hell was he going to learn?
Breaker opened the door and stepped inside. He knew the exact moment she came into the apartment behind him. The light scent of her perfume wafted around him. It was all he could do not to turn around, pull her into his arms, and beg her not to leave, but then, in a sense, he wouldn’t be any better than Marco. Instead, he strode forward, taking his bag to his room.
He made a sudden decision. “I’m going to the bar. I want to make sure everything is alright,” he mumbled. Without another word, he hurried out.
The bar was fine, but he’d known it would be. He called Angie to let her know what had happened and that they would be open for business tomorrow.
“You sound…off,” Angie said.
“Just tired.”
“And Savannah? She’s okay.”
“She’s fine. Now that she’s safe, she’ll be looking for her own place.”
There was a slight hesitation.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
“Hey, it’s her life. She finally has a chance to live it. I have some work to get done, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Dammit, he needed to listen to his own words. He wasn’t going to be the one holding Savannah back. She’d been a prisoner too long. He finished work and went upstairs.
Savannah was standing at the stove cooking something. She looked up when he came inside. Damn, he was going to miss having her around. He could feel his heart breaking into tiny little pieces.
“You didn’t have to cook. I could’ve ordered something.”
“I enjoy cooking.”
She was so damned beautiful. She didn’t have a clue about life, though. “You should go out on dates,” he blurted, then wanted to kick himself for even suggesting it. “I mean, you haven’t had that chance.”
She raised both eyebrows and stopped stirring whatever was in the skillet. “You want me to date other men?”
He frowned. “No. I mean, yes. You should. Date and go to parties and have fun.”
She faced the stove again.
He closed his eyes and silently prayed. He wasn't sure for what. Maybe he wanted her to say she didn't want to date other men. She only wanted him. God, he felt as if he was being torn into different directions.
“That’s a great idea,” she said.
His eyes fle
w open. Of course that’s what she’d want. She was spreading her wings wide and flying. He’d never felt so defeated in all his life.
They ate dinner in silence, and then each went to their own rooms.
Chapter Thirty-Six
After only a few days of Breaker mostly staying in his office, he left saying he had government work to take care of. Savannah felt as if she’d suddenly lost her best friend. He'd been distant toward her, that is, when he was even around. He told her that he had to catch up on work at the bar when she was upstairs, she had a feeling he was avoiding her, until finally, he left to go out of town.
She sat at the roundtable after the bar closed that night with Angie, Rayan, and Shorty, but she barely touched the cheeseburger in front of her. All she could think about was the burden that Breaker must've felt protecting her against Marco. She'd thought they had something special together, but apparently, she'd been wrong. It was as if he couldn't wait to get rid of her.
"That's enough!" Angie suddenly said.
Everyone at the table jumped.
"We’re sitting here as if our best friend just died. Something happened while you and Breaker were away. Before you left, you couldn't get a pin between you two because you were so tight. Then you come home and you act like strangers. What gives?"
Savannah looked around the table. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. "I don't know. We were fine one minute, and then in the next, he said he thought I should start dating other men." She picked up a french fry, but the thought of eating it turned her stomach, so she put it back down. "He did what he thought was right. He protected me from Marco. Now that Marco is dead, I guess he figures I can take care of myself. He’s right. I can. I just thought… It doesn’t matter now." When they didn't speak, she looked at them again.
Rayan’s eyes had narrowed. "He actually said he thinks you need to date other men?"
She sighed deeply. "I suppose he's right. I can take care of myself since I don't have to worry about Marco anymore."
Shorty began to frown. "If that isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard before. You can tell by looking at the guy he's head over heels in love with you."
She wished that was true, but deep down inside, she knew it wasn’t. If he did love her, then why was he pushing her away?
Angie began to nod. "I know what he's up to."
Savannah glanced her way. "He never cared about me like I cared about him. That's all it could be."
"No, that's not it at all," Angie said, frowning. "He said he wanted you to date other men. I think you should, too."
Savannah quickly bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. It seemed as if Angie was against her now. "But I don't want to date other men."
"Because you love him," she said.
She moved her hands to her lap and downed her head, unable to meet their eyes. Angie was right. She did love Breaker. The first time she’d looked at him when he walked into the restaurant the night she ran away from Marco, she'd felt something. Just a fluttering in her stomach, but something she'd never felt before. She’d put it down to nerves.
The more she got to know him, the more she liked him. He was her heart, her soul, every breath she took. He made her feel alive when she'd felt dead for so very long. Maybe love wasn't supposed to happen that fast, but it had, and she didn't want to change it.
She looked up, meeting their gazes. "Yes, I love him, but he doesn't love me. Maybe it's best if I move on."
"Why?" Angie asked. "It's clear for everyone to see that the guy loves you."
"Then why would he push me away?"
Shorty was slowly nodding his head as if he just figured something out. "He's setting you free. Marco bought you when you were only fourteen. You've never had the chance to live. He's giving you that chance."
Hope sprang inside her. "Then I'll tell him I don't want it. He's the only one I want to be with."
"Won't work," Rayan said. "He's stubborn. You're going to have to open his eyes and show him what he's giving up."
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
"You start dating," Shorty said. "Let him see what he's losing, but also, you'll be letting him know that you checked out the competition and still like him the best."
She frowned. "I still don't want to date anyone else."
Rayan picked up a french fry and pointed it at her." He's got to see that he gave you the chance, though. If not, he's always going to wonder if he was as bad as Marco."
She sat up straight, squaring her shoulders. "He's nothing like Marco!"
"We know that," Angie said. "But in his mind, he's going to think he's just as bad. He wants you to experience the world. Then if you come back, it's of your own accord."
What they were saying finally began to sink in. "It sounds kind of deceptive," she admitted.
"But in a good way," Rayan said.
"I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"Don't worry, little girl," Shorty said. "We're here to help you."
Why didn't she feel any more confident than she had a moment ago?
She didn't know how fast they would begin to move on the plan they’d hatched while sitting around the table that night either.
The duplex that Rayan lived in had just become vacant on the other side of her. The owner was a good friend, so when Rayan explained the situation, she was more than willing to rent the other side temporarily. Since it came furnished, Savannah only had to gather her things and bring them over. It took her less than an hour to move in.
Angie helped set up her bank account the next morning and took her grocery shopping. It felt strange taking them inside, then putting them away.
Suddenly, she was her own woman for the first time in her life. She had a place and a bank account. As she walked from room to room, which didn't take long since there was only a living room, kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom, she knew she should be feeling more excited. All she felt was loneliness. Having Rayan living next to her only made things marginally better. If this was what it took to make Breaker realize he would be the only man for her, then she would do it.
Dating was another thing, though. If Rayan hadn't been encouraging her, she didn't even think she would go. She felt as if she was cheating on Breaker.
"You look fine," Rayan said. "You're going to like Jeff. He's a real nice man. I would never send you with anyone who was a jerk."
"I'm sure he's very nice. It just feels strange dating someone other than Breaker."
When her doorbell rang a moment later, she jumped. Maybe she should feign a headache. She closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath, then exhaled. But what if this was the only way she could make Breaker see that he was the only man for her?
She came to her feet and stood tall. She could do this. Rayan walked to the door with her. She wondered briefly if the other woman thought she might run.
It was Savannah who opened the door, though. The man on the other side smiled. She had to admit, he looked nice. She guessed him to be about five feet, eleven inches. He had sandy blond hair and was clean-shaven. She opened the door and stepped to the porch.
For a moment, he only stared, eyes widening. He suddenly cleared his throat. “You’re beautiful.”
Warmth began to rise up her cheeks.
He laughed. "Let me start over. Hi, Savannah. I'm Jeffrey. Everyone just calls me Jeff." He looked over his shoulder. "Hi, Rayan."
Savannah relaxed a little. Jeff seemed friendly, and there was a boyishness about him that she found hard not to like.
"You two have fun," Rayan said.
Savanna followed Jeff to his car. He opened the passenger side door, and she murmured her thanks before slipping inside. As he got in and fastened his seatbelt, she inhaled the cologne he had on. It was nice. Not quite as masculine as Breaker's, but still nice. He wasn't as tall or as broad-shouldered either.
"I thought we would go to the movies," he said. "There's a new comedy that looks good. If that's okay with you, of course. We can
do something else if you'd rather."
"No, that sounds fine."
By the time he was parking in front of the movie theater, she felt a little less nervous about the idea of dating. They went inside, and he got them a bag of popcorn and two soft drinks before they went to their seat.
She wondered what he would think if he knew she'd never been inside a movie theater until now. Would he think less of her? Maybe he'd just think she was making a joke. Would he understand what her life had been like with Marco the way that Breaker had understood? Or would he be disgusted?
"I'm glad you came out with me tonight. Rayan said you didn't date very often."
At least he didn't know anything about her past. She was glad Rayan hadn't shared anything with him.
"She said you were nice."
He grinned. She decided she liked his smile.
"Most of the time, I am. My brothers would disagree with her, though. Some of the time, at least."
"How many brothers do you have?"
"One older and two younger. And you? Do you have siblings?"
"I have an older sister and a younger one."
The screen suddenly came to life in front of her, and she was saved from explaining anything about Jade or Rena. She was amazed at how everything seemed to come alive in front of her, and when the movie began to play, she found herself laughing along with Jeff. Something she didn't think she would ever do again after Breaker told her she should start dating.
Afterward, they went out to dinner and he regaled her with stories of his brothers and kept her laughing. By the time he walked her to her front door, she was feeling more comfortable with Jeff. But when he kissed her goodnight, she knew it was another man's lips that she wanted kissing her.
"I enjoyed tonight," Jeff said. "I have a feeling I'm not the man you want to be with, though."
Had she been that obvious? "I'm sorry."
"No big deal. I just wish I’d met you before he did. I don't know where he is now, but just know I think he's a fool for letting you go. I still think we could be friends."
She smiled. How could anyone not like Jeff? "I'd like that."
