Besides, they’re not bringing it up, or really giving any indication that they’re still thinking about it, so maybe they’ve changed their minds. Maybe they were just caught up in a moment, and have since realized that us getting together makes no sense.
“Do you always go into work so early?” I ask.
“Not always,” Josh says. “Things have been extra busy lately, so we get an early start.”
“Speaking of, would it take long for me to get an appointment? My car’s stalled a few times and I’d like to get it checked out.”
“Bring it in anytime. We’ll fit you in.” Josh turns into my driveway, pulling close to the front door.
“Will you give me a family discount?” I tease.
“Sure thing.” There’s that thousand-watt grin again, the one that makes my belly flop. It’s too early in the morning for such radiance.
Jake gets out of the truck when I do, presumably to take my seat up front, but first he walks me up to the front door and waits while I find my key and get the door open.
“Have a good day, Maddy. We’ll see you tonight.” He gives me a nod and a grin, and they’re off.
16
We don’t mind sharing
I keep a close eye on the oven throughout the morning, and it works great, thanks to Matt.
After the morning coffee and pastry rush, Lonnie comes into the back for a break. “You’re in a good mood today,” she says. “Was last night your date with Clay?”
I stop humming, not even realizing that I had been humming. “It was.” I had nearly forgotten all about that horrible date. Was it really just last night that I was out with that jerk?
I decide to let Lonnie think what she wants about the date and my apparent good mood. I don’t want to talk badly about Clay to her, because he is a customer, though I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t show his face in the shop again. I really hope he doesn’t, anyway.
Maybe it’s having two working ovens and catching up on orders that has me feeling happy today; I’m sure it’s not that I’m looking forward to having dinner with the Harding brothers.
It’s mid-afternoon when Lonnie comes into the kitchen again. “You have a delivery.”
Most bakery deliveries come to the back, so I’m surprised when she hands me a standard envelope. It’s bulky and misshapen; clearly there’s something three-dimensional inside. My first name is handwritten on the front with a marker.
“Who brought this?”
“A man in a work shirt and jeans. I didn’t know him, but I assumed he knew you. Sorry, I didn’t ask for his name.”
I open the flap and find a Harding Motors keychain inside, attached to what is clearly a car’s key fob.
Lonnie shrugs when I give her a questioning look.
Outside, the only cars in the lot are Lonnie’s sedan and a red sports car. It takes me a moment to realize that my car, my little clunker, is gone. I click the “unlock” button on the fob and hear a corresponding click in the lot. I click “lock” and see lights flash on the red car. What the?
Lying on the front seat of the new car is another envelope bearing my name. A sheet of paper from a Harding’s Garage notepad simply says, “Looking forward to seeing you tonight.” There’s no signature, though the only mystery is which of the four is responsible for this.
Then I remember telling Josh and Jake about the issues I was having with my car this morning.
I start a group text with the two of them, grateful that Matt gave me everyone’s numbers.
Me: I can’t accept this
A few long moments pass. A customer pulls in up front and Lonnie goes back inside the shop.
Josh: Accept what?
I respond with a fuming emoji.
Jake: Relax, it’s just part of the family discount package
Me: I wanted an appointment, not a new car!
Josh: It’s not new. It’s a trade-in we had lying around at the dealership
Me: Oh, well, if it was just lying around…
Me: YOU CAN’T GIVE ME A CAR!
Jake: Consider it a loaner
Me: While you repair mine?
Jake: Sure, whatever
Josh: See you tonight
The sporty red car smells new. When I look hard, I find a few signs of light wear, so I guess I believe their story, but still – they should not have done this.
It is a pleasure to drive, though. Especially compared to the clunker. I’m actually disappointed that my house is so close to the bakery; this car begs for a joyride.
At home, I shower and reapply makeup, wondering all the while what to wear, and what to make of this evening. I’ve stopped lying to myself – I’m definitely looking forward to going over and having dinner with the guys.
They’re kind and sweet and funny, and they took such good care of me last night. But how do they see me? What do they want from me, and what do I want from them?
The rational part of me knows they’re my stepbrothers and all we’ll ever be are family and hopefully friends, too. It’s good that I’ve gotten over my past hurts and resentments, and that we’re forging new relationships since we’ll be involved in each others’ lives, thanks to our parents.
Another part of me, a small but very persistent and imaginative part, wants to know what would happen if I “said the word” to Adam and invited something more from him, and maybe from the others. Or am I just fantasizing again? Nothing like that can happen, can it? It shouldn’t.
After trying on a few different options, I decide to wear jeans and a pretty but modest blouse for dinner. This is not a date, after all, just a meal at my stepbrothers’ home.
I take a long route to their house, enjoying the feel of the car beneath me and how it hugs the road. The sound system is pretty great, too, and I sing along with a couple of my favorite songs on the way.
Though I try to ignore it, I can feel something fizzing in my stomach. Kind of like a bottle being shaken, and carbonation building up for a release. Is it excitement, or nerves, or something in between?
I ring the bell on the streetside entrance of their home, and after just a few seconds, Josh opens it.
“Maddy, you look nice. Come on in.”
I follow him in and kick my shoes off in the entry.
“What’s this?” He gestures to the bakery box I’m carrying.
“Chocolate cake.”
“Mmm, can’t wait.”
“Good. Hope you like it. I mean, what do you bring for someone who’s just given you a car?”
“It’s a loaner,” Josh says with a smile.
“Of course.”
Almost under his breath, he says, “A permanent loaner.”
“Very funny.”
“Is it running well?”
“It’s really great, actually. Thank you for the loaner.” I emphasize the last word.
He takes the box from me and gestures for me to go up the stairs to the main level.
The smell wafting down to greet me is so enticing; sweet and tangy and complex. I follow my nose into the kitchen and Jake is there, much like this morning, only the light has changed and there’s a bit of facial hair growth darkening the planes of his face.
“Maddy brought chocolate cake,” Josh announces.
Adam and Matt, who are in the living room watching TV, look over and say hello.
“Cake you made?” Jake asks.
“No, I picked it up at the grocery store.” I give him a look. “Of course, I made it!”
“Can’t wait,” Jake says, using the same words Josh had just said downstairs.
“Can I help with anything?” I ask.
“No, thanks. It’s almost ready.”
“Would you like beer, wine, sweet tea?” Josh asks.
“Tea, please.” I accept a glass from him and wander over to the back windows, drawn by the spectacular view of the ocean. The sun is lower in the sky, just starting to cast a warm glow over the water and sand.
“I could never get tired of th
is view,” I say to no one in particular.
“It’s never looked better than it does right now,” Josh says, coming closer and speaking low so that maybe I’m the only one who hears him. His eyes are on me, not the view outside.
I turn back to the window and feel a hand on my shoulder. “Dinner’s ready, Maddy.” His touch is warm and stirs up that fizzy feeling that’s been with me for a while now.
Trying to calm myself, I swallow, take a deep breath and follow him to the dining table.
“Grab a plate. The food is in the kitchen.”
I do as instructed and find a line of items on the counter: barbecued pulled pork in a slow cooker, a basket of rolls, coleslaw, and beans in a baking dish.
“Jake, this looks amazing. You made it all?”
“I picked up the coleslaw at the grocery store,” he says. “And I’m not joking.”
I laugh, and start to fill my dish, as all of the men are standing aside, politely waiting for me to go first.
In the dining room, I take the same seat I had this morning and wait for the others to come in. Then we eat, talking all the while about our parents, the brothers’ business, and about the bakery.
While I don’t do the majority of the talking, the men ask a lot of questions about culinary school, my life in the city, and my work at the bakery. There’s a great give-and-take to the conversation and a smooth flow that I probably wouldn’t have expected.
Being here feels oddly natural, like I’ve eaten here several times, not just breakfast this morning.
Adam tells a funny story about a town councilman coming into their shop that day complaining about a rattling, clunking sound every time he braked and accelerated.
“I asked him if he wanted to get anything out of his car before I put it on the lift, because, not knowing the cause of the problem, I wasn’t sure how long the repair might take. The councilman opened the trunk and took out his bowling ball, which had apparently been rolling around loose back there.”
We all crack up. “Did you charge him?” Jake asks.
“I had to explain to him that he had just fixed his own problem.”
When we’re all finished eating, I jump up to help clear plates, but Josh tells me to sit.
“What about dessert? Would you like cake now, or later?” I ask them all.
“How about dessert on the deck?” Jake suggests. “Go ahead out. We’ll bring the cake.
Matt opens the back door and I go out with him and Adam. The air is still warm with a soft breeze blowing. The sun is about to hit the horizon and the colors are stunning.
Instead of taking a seat in one of the many chairs, I lean on the rail, mesmerized by the scene playing out in front of me. The steady sound of waves crashing in washes over me, soothing me as it always does.
I become so relaxed that I don’t even flinch when a hand brushes my hair back from my face. Adam is there, watching me like I’ve been watching the sunset.
“You turned out to be such a beautiful woman,” he says, leaning down next to me, running the back of his finger along my cheek.
I swallow, feeling the effects of his touch in every part of my body.
“Why are you saying that, Adam?”
“Because you are.”
I straighten and take a step back from him. “What do you want?”
“I want you, Maddy.” His look – oh my god – the look on his face. My insides liquefy into something warm and gooey like caramel.
I turn away and see Matt standing several feet away. He’s watching us, but I’m not sure he can hear what’s been said over the sound of the ocean.
Jake and Josh come out then, carrying small plates holding slices of my cake, and I try to turn my expression back into something neutral and calm.
Josh hands me a plate, giving Adam a strange look over my shoulder. I’m suddenly afraid that I’m going to be the cause of some kind of problem between the brothers, and I get the urge to run, though I don’t move.
Not for the first time, I wonder if Adam knows what the twins have proposed, and what would the twins think if they knew Adam had kissed me?
I haven’t done anything wrong, but should I somehow get everything out in the open, or would it be best to ignore it all, since it’s all crazy, anyway.
I try to eat the cake, but it sticks in my mouth. I try to focus again on the sunset, which is probably at its brilliant peak now, but I can’t stop looking from one brother to the next, imagining what it would feel like to touch them, to kiss them and be kissed, to be wanted by them and let them know how much I want them.
It’s insane, and it can’t happen, but I can’t think of anything else.
“Maddy, are you okay?” Josh is looking at me, eyes full of warm concern.
“It’s my fault,” Adam says, sounding oddly proud. “I have an effect on her.”
“I should go,” I say. I don’t want to run, and I don’t mean to run, but I’m suddenly overwhelmed and my body moves without my mind being completely on board. Plate in hand, I get up and go inside, closing the door behind me.
“Maddy, wait.” I’m through the dining room and almost to the kitchen when Adam grabs my arm. “Where are you going?”
“I need to leave.”
“Why are you running? I know you want me, too.”
“Josh and Jake, they-” I start, until I’m aware that the twins have also followed me in. Matt’s coming through the door, as well.
“They want you, too, Maddy. I know.” My eyes are wide and my breath stops for a beat as I hang on his words. “We don’t mind sharing.”
I stand in stunned silence as Adam takes the plate from my hand, sets it on the counter, and comes back to me, both his hands on my face and in my hair and his mouth claiming mine, kissing me like someone who doesn’t intend to share me, ever.
His lips are soft but firm, and then his tongue demands entry, and I let him in, tangling, tasting, finding satisfaction but continually seeking more.
But then he releases me and turns me toward the twins, who’ve been standing right behind me. Jake looks into my eyes, waiting and searching for some kind of sign, until I give him the smallest of nods. He steps in close, lining his body up with mine, pressing against me as he tips my chin upward and brings his mouth down on mine.
I’ve been missing this ever since I backed away from his attempted kiss upstairs. It feels so good to let him kiss me and to kiss him back with all I’ve got.
Adam is sexy, funny and infuriating, and his kiss was hot and passionate. Jake, along with his twin, is my longtime friend and has been a part of my soul for nearly as long as I can remember. His kiss feels like coming home, like putting together a piece that I never knew was missing.
I’m trembling when Jake pulls away. Josh reaches out to take my hand and leads me over to the couch.
“I’m sorry,” I say, not sure what I’m apologizing for. “I don’t know how this works.”
Josh sits beside me, his leg pressed against mine. “It works however you want it to, Maddy.”
“Have you – have you done this before? Shared someone?”
Adam shakes his head. Josh says softly, “No, but we’ve talked about it. About you.”
Matt sits on the other side of me, silent and still, but nearly as close as Josh, and I look over at him, trying to read his expression.
In reply to my unasked question, Matt simply places a hand on my thigh, telling me he’s in this, too. As I’m looking at Matt’s hand in wonder, my mind whirling with new possibilities, Josh pushes my hair off my shoulder and lays a line of tender kisses from the base of my neck up to the curl of my ear.
His voice is husky and his breath is hot on my cheek when he whispers, “Be ours, Maddy.”
Any part of my body that had still been in solid form, melts instantly. My brain puddles into lust and heat floods between my legs.
Deep down I know there are reasons why this shouldn’t be happening and why I shouldn’t give in to how I’m feeling, but those re
asons are buried so deep down at this moment that I can’t be bothered to try to remember them.
17
Watch out for the quiet ones
I turn to Josh, eager to find out if his kiss is identical to his twins’. His mouth curves into a smile against mine as we come together. Just like I could always tell them apart, their kisses are distinct, too. Josh is more playful than Jake but equally as passionate and deep.
My body lights up inside, from my brain to my heart, to the ends of my fingers and toes. I’m alive and whole, but also incomplete and suddenly so very needy.
When Josh and I part, Matt grabs my chin with a gentle hand, turning my head towards him and bringing his mouth to mine.
I’m distracted with the unreal realization that I’ve just kissed all four brothers in the space of a few minutes. Is this really happening, or am I still at home asleep and dreaming?
A firm but tender nip on my lower lip brings me immediately back to the present moment. Matt is a new and unique experience. I don’t have the love/hate relationship with him that I have with Adam, and Matt and I were never close as kids; he was someone I daydreamed about from afar, or kept my eye on while I was at their house visiting the twins.
Emotionally, things are somewhat of a blank slate between us. He’s a man of few words, but his actions – his hands, his mouth, his tongue – say paragraphs and pages. He grabs my hips and flips me easily onto his lap so that I’m straddling him. Sliding his hands around to my ass, he pulls me closer, positioning my jean-covered pussy right over the rock hard erection inside his pants.
I’ve heard people say to watch out for the quiet ones, and I’m here to tell you, they were right!
Matt flexes his hips, grinding the bulge in his jeans against me, and before I can stop myself, I’m matching his motions, rubbing my mound against him, thrilling at the thought that it’s me that’s made him so hard and so hot.
Jake makes a sound of encouragement from somewhere in the near distance. He can clearly see the intensity rising between me and Matt, and the reminder that there are others in the room watching us – watching me rapidly losing control – adds to my mounting pleasure.
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