by Sarah Price
“Wie gehts, Walter?” she asked. He had fallen and bumped his head on the furniture. Wrapping him into her arms, she sat on the floor, rocking him back and forth to soothe him. She never heard the sound of the two buggies that pulled into the driveway, passing the small house in front of its entrance as they traveled to the larger of the Mussers’ homes in the back, near the garden.
Chapter Five
OVER MORNING COFFEE, Mary sat at the kitchen table, a wistful smile on her lips as she stared at the wall, her eyes clouded over with satisfaction. Her spoon tapped rapidly against the edge of the coffee cup, the gentle noise almost as constant as the ticking of the clock upon the wall.
“I wonder which one it will be,” she said dreamily.
Anna glanced up from where she sat on the bench, encouraging Cris Junior to eat his toast. His fever was gone, but he had not yet regained his energy or his appetite. He sat next to her at the kitchen table, his head pressed against his cheek, and shook his head at Anna’s patient attempts. Walter still slept, for which Anna was thankful. With Mary in such a dreamy state, Anna knew that it would fall to her to tend to Walter’s needs when he awoke. “Which one what will be, Mary?”
“Not ‘what’! Who!” Mary laughed, a childish sound of delight.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Anna replied.
With a quick rolling of her eyes, Mary leaned forward and said, “Why, which girl has caught Freman’s eye!”
Her sister’s statement felt like a knife cutting through Anna’s heart. Mary never knew of her aborted courtship with Freman, of course. Mary had been both too young and too self-absorbed to pay much attention to Anna and her despondent state. But had she already so accepted that Anna was an old maedel that she couldn’t even fathom the idea of Freman as a potential suitor for her single sister?
While she had decidedly avoided being in his presence the previous evening, voluntarily offering to sit with the two boys, it never had dawned on Anna that either of the Musser daughters would be considered a match for Freman. Notwithstanding the age difference, a match between Leah or Hannah with Freman would imply a move to another state. Yet Salome’s dependence on her daughters was clear to everyone who knew her. And, of course, the idea that one of Mary’s sisters-in-law might become Freman’s wife rekindled the remorse she felt at declining his offer of marriage.
Cris laughed at his wife’s question. “Leah, no doubt. She is a bit high-spirited! I rather think that would be quite a complementary match for Freman, ja?”
“Nee, you are incorrect!” Mary pouted. “Hannah. She is far prettier . . . in a plain sort of way. I don’t think Leah would suit someone as stoic and proper as Freman Whittmore! Why, he’s so serious and practical and godly, I think Leah’s silliness would not sit well with him at all.”
From what Anna could gather from the bits and pieces of information that Mary provided, the previous day’s visit had been rather successful. Sara Coblentz fit in wonderfully well with the Musser women, despite the strange, flimsy-shaped prayer kapp that she wore. As for her husband, George, everyone found him much to their liking, enjoying his stories and wise contributions to the discussion.
“It’s not everyone who could remain so interested in hearing about your parents’ cousins and nephews and whatever else seems to slip off your maem’s tongue,” Mary said airily. “It isn’t as if he knew anyone!”
“A fine addition to our community,” Cris agreed, ignoring his wife’s slight toward his mother. “A most agreeable evening, ja?” As if in an afterthought, he turned to Anna and gave her a quick smile. “Your presence was missed by all.”
“All but that Freman, for sure and certain,” Mary added dismissively. “He did not speak well of Anna, although he seemed most attentive to me, didn’t he, Cris?”
Anna was used to Mary deflecting attention back to herself, whether by changing the subject so that she could be the center of it or by debasing whoever was the subject, in this case, Anna. While she normally simply ignored her sister’s uncultured approach to socializing, this time Anna looked up and stared at Mary. No words could express the sinking feeling that was forming in her stomach.
“Why, he went so far as to mention how he remembered you from several years ago and that you were now so altered that he barely recognized you!” With no indication that she realized, even ever so slightly, that she may have stepped over the margins of propriety, she laughed, her hand fluttering in the air. “Pffft, altered beyond any memory, he said; although I dare say that might not be such a bad thing.”
Too aware that Cris watched her, his lips pressed tightly together, Anna excused herself from the table, justifying her rapid departure on the sound of little Walter crying from his room on the second floor.
When she first saw Freman at the worship service, it felt as though time had stood still. She was no longer the young, carefree girl of seventeen. Indeed, at twenty-four years of age (twenty-five in just another three months), Anna knew that her youth had faded and her options were now limited. She acknowledged it privately, unlike her sister Elizabeth, who had no qualms about vocalizing how she accepted—nee. . . embraced!—the fact that she would never marry, having just turned thirty only last spring.
The fading bloom of youth was a bitter pill to swallow, though. Anna doted on her nephews, both by choice and by chance, for Mary was quite happy to relinquish their care to her. As a young girl, Anna just assumed that she would eventually marry and have babies, raise a large family, and surround herself with love, laughter, and life. Mayhaps her attachment to her sister’s kinner was but just a shadow of her intimate desires. Or regrets.
However, Freman had remained even more handsome than she remembered. From what she could gather from her sister, he was also proper in his dealings with people and godly in his behavior. Neither surprised her for she remembered him in the same manner. Still, his words hurt Anna, even if she knew that he had just cause. A broken heart often held scars long after it had mended.
“Anna!”
She had barely gotten Walter changed when she heard Mary calling up the stairs for her attention. As she fastened Walter’s pants, she smiled at him. “Seems your maem wants me little man, ja?”
He giggled and reached out to pull at her prayer kapp strings, causing it to shift sideways on her head. “Now, Walter,” she scolded gently as she set him on the floor. “We don’t do that. I’ve told you before . . . ”
But he didn’t hear her. His bare feet carried him across the floor as he ran to the stairs.
“Careful!” she called out, knowing that the overly energetic Walter was most likely already halfway down the staircase.
After touching up her kapp she returned downstairs to see what Mary needed.
“I have a dreadful headache,” she said. “Cris’s maem wanted to see the boys. Might you take them over there, then?”
Knowing that it was fruitless to argue that Cris Junior was still feeling poorly and, in all likelihood, should not be moved, Anna merely nodded her head. Mayhaps the fresh air could do the child some good, she tried to convince herself. And Walter, a spitfire of energy, could certainly use some time outdoors.
They walked down the lane, Cris holding her hand while Walter ran along the fence-line, yelling at the mules. At one point, he tripped over a rock, hidden beneath the tall grass, and fell against the fence before tumbling to the ground. Anna started to rush to his side, but the child stood up and laughed, continuing to run toward his grandparents’ house.
“There she is!” Salome welcomed her with a wide smile. “You were missed last night.”
“Danke, Salome.”
The older woman turned her attention toward the children, her focus on Cris Junior more than Walter. “Oh, child,” she said softly, bending down a bit and placing her hands on his cheeks and turning his face from side to side.
“You must lie down, Cris. Kum, kum,” she commanded, shepherding him to the sofa against the far wall of the kitchen. Clicking her to
ngue, a sound of disapproval, she shook her head as she plumped a pillow before slipping it underneath his head. “Poor lamb.”
“He’s feeling much better,” Anna offered.
“Why, I’m sure of it!” Salome brushed Cris’s hair from his forehead. “Under your care, I have no doubt that he is well-attended.”
The compliment itself masked a far greater criticism. Anna didn’t dare to comment on it.
“Why, these poor kinner come here, starving for attention as well as sweets!” She bustled over to the kitchen counter where a large, white container sat. “Speaking of which, I have cookies here and I sure wonder if anyone would like one or two.”
Walter ran to her side, eager for the freshly baked cookies, while Cris merely raised his hand, too weak (or too comfortable, Anna suspected) to sit up.
“Really, Anna,” Salome said, her voice kindly but firm. “You must speak with your schwester. These kinner. . . ” She gave her typical disapproving tsk, tsk as she shook her head. “A little attention from her once in a while would go a long way to help them, especially when they are feeling poorly.”
“I want to see the chickens!” Walter cried out, tugging at Anna’s hand.
“Now, now, Walter,” Salome responded before Anna could say a word. “I have to go out there and fetch their eggs. Shall we go together then?” She stood up and smoothed down the black apron that covered the front of her dress. “I’ll even let you carry the basket.”
Anna tried to hide a smile. Little things like carrying a basket or collecting eggs from the chicken coop meant a lot to Walter. His mother, who tended to worry about everything, told him he was too young to take on those responsibilities. She had just cause, for Walter was very rambunctious and became excited quite easily. In those moments, he was prone to dropping things or not doing a chore particularly well. While such little mishaps didn’t bother Anna or Salome, Mary preferred to avoid taking chances.
Grandmother and grandson walked to the door, Walter’s legs moving faster than Salome’s as he tried to beat her to the door without looking too anxious. After all, collecting and carrying the eggs was a task for mature boys.
When the door shut behind the two of them, Anna turned toward Cris Junior. “You poor child,” she said. “I’m sorry you must stay inside on such a nice day. But another day of rest will clear up this illness, for sure and certain.”
“You reckon, Aendi?”
She sat beside him on the sofa and gently patted his arm. “Ja, I sure do. God heals all and I’ve been praying for Him to heal you.”
“Danke,” he replied softly, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“And I am not the only one praying for you to recover,” she continued, her voice soft and soothing. “Your maem and daed, your other aendis, your grossmammi and grossdawdi. . . ”
“All those people?”
Anna laughed. “Oh, ja, Cris. All of those people are praying for you.”
A look of self-importance crossed his face, and Anna decided to let him have that moment. After all, it wasn’t often when the kinner were truly the center of attention, at least not from what she had seen. While pride was frowned upon, a little shot of confidence certainly couldn’t hurt a child, especially one like Cris.
After a moment, she sighed and brushed her finger over his cheek. He was still pale and his skin felt dewy. “You should rest a spell now,” she said.
“Will you sit with me?”
“Of course. If that’s what would please you.”
Not five minutes passed before his breathing slowed and his eyes closed, a light sleep overtaking him. Anna watched his chest rise and fall, wondering at the miracle of life that her sister, Mary, had been so blessed to witness yet so unwilling to enjoy. Loving the two children, even Walter with his energetic ways, came naturally to Anna.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice said from the doorway.
Startled, Anna jumped just enough to display her surprise at seeing Freman standing at the entrance to the kitchen. With no way to avoid his presence, she lowered her eyes for a moment, too flustered by the unexpected appearance of the only person she did not particularly wish to encounter.
He too appeared uneasy and stepped no further into the kitchen. “I thought I might find the Musser schwesters here.” He hesitated, that momentary pause speaking more than any words might convey about what he was thinking. He turned his body to such an angle that he could look out the door and she could not see his expression. “I . . . I mentioned I would stop by today to visit.”
“I haven’t seen them this morning,” Anna admitted, surprised at the steadiness of her voice. “But I’m sure they must be around somewhere if they were expecting you.”
He cleared his throat, glancing, just once, over his shoulder to look at her. His eyes drifted to Cris Junior, still napping on the sofa. “I do hope the boy is feeling better.”
Anna glanced down at Cris, knowing full well that, had Cris not asked her to sit with him, she would have found an excuse to remove herself from Freman’s presence. Just being near Freman sent her heart into conflicting waves of emotion. Not knowing how to respond, or, perhaps, not truly wanting to engage in conversation with him, Anna remained silent. The room, however, did not; for Walter raced into the room, slipping by Freman and running over to where Anna sat next to his older brother.
“Don’t tease him, Walter,” Anna scolded, a quiet gentleness in her tone. “He needs his rest.”
Rather than leave the sofa, Walter grabbed at Anna’s apron and startled climbing onto her lap. He laughed and tried to reach over to poke his brother in the stomach.
“Walter, you are being very naughty,” she said, her voice a little firmer. “And after your grossmammi let you collect the eggs! I dare say she won’t let you do that tomorrow if you keep behaving like this.”
At this comment, rather than retreat, Walter slipped around her back so that she couldn’t reach him with her hands unless she turned around which, certainly, would have disturbed Cris’s nap. Already Cris Junior was stirring, his brother’s laughter and bouncing on the sofa having interrupted his sleep. With great mischief in his giggles, Walter clung to her neck and leaned against her back. Though small, he was heavy enough to knock her forward, and she caught herself on the arm of the sofa.
Just as Anna was ready to scold Walter one last time, she was surprised to feel him suddenly removed from her back. It took her a moment to realize that Freman had plucked the spunky two-year-old from her person and promptly set him down upon the ground. Anna was just about to express her gratitude, as well as her embarrassment that Walter had so misbehaved, when she realized that Freman did not wish to hear such words from her. He focused on the young child, instead, distracting him by swooping him into his arms and whirling him in the air. Walter giggled and forgot about Anna, his joy at having someone’s attention, even a stranger’s, suddenly much more attractive than fighting for hers.
The kindness that Freman displayed by removing the rowdy child conflicted with his apparent evasion of further interaction with her. The incident left her speechless and agitated to the point of complete silence. Mercifully, the door opened again moments later, this time producing Salome with Leah and Hannah in tow. Her mind was in such turmoil that Anna could not stay to watch the interactions, so joyous and hopeful on the part of the two young women. Instead, she quietly excused herself and slipped out the side door, needing time to reflect on what had just happened and how one small act of kindness had sent her into a tailspin of shame.
Chapter Six
IN THE NEXT few days, the frequency with which Freman visited the Mussers’ farm quickly dispelled any of Anna’s hopes that she might be able to avoid his company. With Salome inviting Anna to visit, or her nephews pulling her next door, Anna could not escape hearing Freman’s voice as he chatted with Leah or Hannah. Each day, he brought along goodies from the general store: pickled mushrooms, a shoofly pie, or farmer’s cheese. One day he even added some fresh-cut flowers, careful t
o offer them to Salome for fear that his intentions could be misconstrued by giving them to any other potential recipient.
From what she learned from Mary, who was only too happy to share the latest news with her husband and sister after the two boys went to bed Saturday evening, Freman had returned to the area with one, and only one, intention: to find a wife.
“Clearly we shall have a wedding to attend this season!” Mary gushed. “We should start cleaning the flower beds and make certain to remove the dying petunias. They never did get very bushy.”
Cris sat at the head of the table with the two women on either side, a coffee cup by his one hand and a small bowl of popcorn by the other. He was reading The Budget, the weekly newspaper to which most Amish households subscribed; it was his only deviation from reading the Bible. “Ja, I hear you, Mary,” he said as he reached for a handful of popcorn. “This is wunderbarr popcorn!” He glanced up, looking first at Mary and then at Anna, one eyebrow lifted in an inquisitive kind of way.
“Brewer’s yeast,” Anna said softly. “I added brewer’s yeast to the salt seasoning.”
Despite having initiated the conversation, Mary showed no interest in discussing popcorn. Instead she continued rattling off her list of tasks that needed attention for the upcoming wedding, a wedding she had already scheduling in her mind. “And the front door should be painted, Cris. It took such a beating from the sun and the heat this summer . . . ” She waved her hand in the air. “Dreadful. With a wedding at your maem’s, we can’t have tongues wagging that we don’t care for our haus!”
“A wedding? You’re putting the buggy before the horse, my fraa,” Cris said lightly.
Mary huffed at the slight. “Why, I think I know enough to recognize when a man is interested in a woman! And your sisters . . . why, one of them would be a right gut companion for Freman!” She turned to Anna, unaware of the pain she had just inflicted on her own sister. “I heard he has a lovely business in Indiana. A carpentry store that makes sheds. He has a whole staff of people,” Mary said. “That’s why he can visit for so long, you see. He’s become quite successful.”
