by Pete Adams
‘No, he often has an afternoon kip.’
‘Mandy, I take back all I said, you must need your brains tested.’
‘I know, Jacks, isn’t it lovely,’ and like Tigger, she bounced off to the CP room, and Jackie looked on, a mixture of astonishment and a face like Eeh-Haw.
Thirty-Eight
The newshounds were positively excited, this story had everything; murdered policeman, sex slaves, paedophilia, skinheads and Nazis, and finally a shootout at the OK Corral. What would happen, Mandy thought, if they knew about the spooks and the drugs, which had to be omitted for follow up positions? Spotty opened the door and led the way, determined to at least give some semblance of control. His mum must be watching Mandy thought, tugging the Commander’s sleeve, so Spotty was on his own, suddenly feeling conscious of his exposure.
It felt tense when Mandy and the Commander walked out, like a conductor and soloist appearing in front of an orchestra; an air of expectation. Spotty wanted to sit in the middle, bloody kids Mandy thought, and thought of Jack and his front, centre seat, gathered around the Telly in the CP room. Spotty did the introductions, hesitating over the Amanda, nearly calling her Mandy, he got through it and sat back, a mixture of relief and pride. His mum is definitely watching Mandy thought, a picture of Nobby on the naughty step forced itself into her mind, an unbearable desire to burst into hysterical giggles, then felt she might cry; she had never choked in a press conference, but here she was, choking.
The Commander picked up on what was happening, and so did Jack, who eased himself up and waddled down the stairs, through reception, along a number of corridors and entered at the back of the press room to stand beside Sitting Bull, who was nursing a newly acquired agitated expression; Jack was not supposed to happen.
The Commander was speaking of the past few days, ‘Nearly a week has seen some dramatic events in Portsmouth, culminating in a shooting incident outside this police station last night when two gunmen fired at the Superintendent,’ pointing to Mandy. He was intimating to the press Go easy, but Jack saw she was buckling. He walked deliberately through the crowd; Sitting Bull grabbing the air behind him. He kicked Bernie off his chair and swinging it up to the dais, he put it next to Mandy so his leg rubbed hers, she didn’t resist. He raised his pink hand into the air and waved, ‘Sorry I’m late.’ For a few moments you could have heard a pin drop, before the whole house rocked with laughter, and Jack, never one to disappoint an audience, stood up, bowed, and waved his pink hand some more.
Back in the CP room Connie said, ‘Jack got ping hand,’ Frankie smiled, and Connie put her arm around her waist; those who were interested could see Connie snuggle in.
Jo-Jums did look, ‘Fucking hell, Frankie, this isn’t the back row of the pictures.’ They all looked now, and Frankie kissed Connie full on, and a blushing Chinese girl emerged with a huge smile on her face. Jack would have looked at that and said, “What a team, make’s you proud, don’t it,” Jo-Jums thought.
Meanwhile, Jack had just about finished milking the audience, Mandy pulling his trousers, he bent down, ‘Steady on love, can’t you wait until later?’ Mandy laughed. It is said this is what endeared her to the viewing public, the clip shown over and over, but Jack said it was because they wanted to see a nice-looking bird undress him on national telly. He did eventually sit, and when a semblance of order returned, the Commander looked to Spotty, who addressed the press.
‘I think most of you know Inspector Jane... I mean, Jack Austin.’
The journalists loved the joke, consummately delivered, so Jack waved his pink hand for the hell of it, this was like no other police press conference. Mandy summoned a calm pose, put her stopping the traffic hand up, her serious head on, and in a moment there was quiet. She spoke. ‘The people of this City, this Police service and me, have cause to be grateful to this man today,’ and she turned to Jack.
‘Steady, babes, I’ve had me clap,’ but he put his pink hand in the air and applied a cheesy grin. Jack could see the Chief at the back of the room with rolling eyes and would have loved to call out, “They will stay like that if the wind changes,” but Mandy was continuing.
‘Last Thursday, and following a long and careful investigation, Inspector Austin called a raid on the houses in north Portsmouth we have spoken of before.’ She felt, her nose didn’t grow, considered it already too big; maybe she had lied a lot as a kid. ‘Sadly, we were not in time to save DS Smith and one of the women held captive, but as a result of this effort we have been able to frustrate a paedophile ring, and what is thought to have been a right wing disruption of this city. The detail of this will be in your press packs at the end.’
Spotty beamed so his mum would know he had done this bit.
Mandy continued, ‘Inspector Austin took charge of the investigation that grouped the resources of the Serious Crime Unit, Vice and Drugs, and within a few days an arrest was made and subsequently a man has been charged with the murder of the woman in the house. We expect to charge this same man with the murder of the policeman in a few hours’ time.’ This brought about shouts and hands up, and Spotty quieted them. Mandy continued, ‘As the investigation developed momentum, so it became clear the Home Office would need to be informed, and Inspector Austin coordinated a strategy involving officers from MI5 and the French police, which will remain confidential for the time being.’
She paused, more scrambling to feet and shouted questions ensued. Spotty, rising to the occasion, put his hand up and with a brilliant dramatic effect brought them to silence, and to Jack’s amazement and admiration, Spotty never said a thing; he nodded to Mandy.
‘Finally, as Inspector Austin and I were leaving the station yesterday evening, a car pulled up and a gunman began shooting. If it were not for the observation and speedy reactions of the Inspector...’ and she looked at Jack, this bit was replayed a lot on the telly as well, because it was clear in Mandy’s eyes what she felt for him. ‘If it were not for, Jack, I would not be here now. I commend also the bravery of Sergeant Barney Rubble,’ a little titter among the audience, but they knew better than to disrupt, this was fantastic and it was clear she was stressed and not realised she had used Barney’s nickname; what the hell was his name anyway Jack thought, but Mandy continued. ‘These two officers approached the gunman whilst still firing; Inspector Austin disabled the car’s rear tyres and as the driver tried to escape, the first gunman was pulled from the car, disarmed, and the sergeant disarmed the second gunman, the driver. Unfortunately, in the incident Inspector Austin was injured...’ Jack waved his pink hand and gave another cheesy grin. Mandy continued, ‘As you can see the Inspector has not recovered from the knock on his head when he tackled and arrested the murderer we have charged,’ she laughed and the room joined in, as did the Commander.
Spotty saw his moment as Jack and Mandy gazed at each other. ‘We can take a few questions; BBC yes?’
‘Superintendent can you tell us more about the Home Office involvement and MI5?’
Her response was matter-of-fact, professional, she had regained her poise, ‘I refer you to their spokesman.’
‘Superintendent, can you say the investigation is now closed?’
Here Jack put his hand on Mandy’s, and without thinking, she gripped it with her other hand; another shot repeated on TV. ‘I’ll answer this Amanda,’ and Jack stood, faced the assembled journalists, waited for absolute quiet. ‘We have opened a can of worms, arrested and charged a number of people,’ Jack could see the Chief rolling his eyes at the back of the room and thought there’s never a wind change when you want it. ‘We have made significant progress, but there are people out there, powerful and probably well-concocted people...’ a rumble of chuckling that confused him, ‘...people who have put into motion a plan, which has resulted in the murder of a fine young policeman. Four women and three children, that we know of, abducted, systematically abused, and sold like mediaeval slaves; at least one woman murdered...’
He paused, felt the pain of the victi
ms, ‘These kids and their mothers fell off the State radar, why? We will be looking into that and will not rest until we have those people responsible. I will not rest,’ Jack stressed. ‘Finally, there are other investigations ongoing that have been generated from this case. Despicable things have been done, things that just should not happen in our so-called civilised society, this Big bloody Society, and despite the cutbacks we have to weather, I say to you perpetrators...’ and he paused again, and with his good hand he pointed into the TV cameras, ‘...I am coming for you. There are vulnerable people out there and we will not desert them, think on that.’ He sat.
To a man and woman, the press corps were on their feet applauding. Jack thought they sensed blood, but Bernie later said the press guys were genuinely moved. Spotty calmed things down, ‘I think we will call it a day there.’
But the press were not to be denied, and it was Bernie who shouted, ‘Commander, is there a date for Inspector Austin’s tribunal?’
Subdued, the press looked to the Commander, who looked over at Jack, apologetically, ‘I am sorry to say, yes. Friday week, in a Guildhall committee room commencing at ten a.m.’
Questions addressed to Jack, ‘Inspector, do you have anything to say to Captain Pugwash?’ a ripple of laughter. ‘Inspector?’ Jack had gone into a dream, ‘Inspector what do you say to Pugwash?’
‘Jack, you don’t need to answer that,’ the Commander said, trepidation written across his face.
But Jack was on a roll, and Mandy felt scared for him, but strangely proud. He stood and waited, looked up at the ceiling, back down, and then spoke clear and strong, his eye directed into the BBC camera, ‘Know Thine Enemy.’ Jack grinned, waved his pink hand. Mandy jumped up to stand with him. The press corps stood and applauded, civilised and respectful. Mandy pushed him, to stop him waving his stupid hand around, making any more of an idiot of himself, and they made it to and through the door. Mandy leaned against the wall and blew all the air out of her lungs, took a deep breath and did it again. Spotty sauntered into the corridor, followed by the Commander who looked shattered, but he shook Jack’s good hand, ‘Heaven help us, Jack, my pension's in place, I hope yours is.’
They could hear Sitting Bull puffing and blowing, ‘Sir, will you join me in the Community Policing room please?’ Jack said as he turned and strutted off, determined to make it to the stairs before the Chief blew. He didn’t hear the Chief blow, but he did hear Mandy running to catch him, she tugged his sleeve and he turned to face her, ‘I know, I’m a total fuck-up.’
‘Yes, you are, but you are my fuck-up, so shut the fuck up,’ and she pushed him against the wall and on tip toes kissed him passionately. Eventually she came up for air, ‘Fuck, I needed that,’ lowered her feet, turned and led him by his good hand to the Community Policing room.
As they walked in, still hand in hand, the team were gathered around the TV, a look of worry and awe. Jack stood quietly until he had their attention, stepped forward, so he was on his own, ‘In a moment the Chief and Commander will be through that door,’ they were there already and listening, ‘I fully expect to be bollocked and probably busted, if not by Sitting Bull then by Catkins Pugwash. I want you all to know this. I'm an old-fashioned copper. I believe in what is right and if that offends people, so be it.’ He paused, not for dramatic effect, because he was emotional. He restarted, energised, ‘If an officer cannot commit to these principles. If a police officer feels he has to watch his back all the time. If a police officer feels he has not the trust of his fellow officers. If a police officer has to sit and think what might be written in the minutes. If a police officer feels he cannot do his job lest he offend someone too fucking precious to be poufy footing around in this station, then, he is no member of the police force I want to be in.’ A nervous titter.
‘I’m a hothead, but I’m not a maverick. I'm a team player, and if it seems sometimes I am not conversing with the team, it's because I am protecting the team; my team. My team that I will fight tooth and nail for, and if all of this is not good enough for any one of you, and I will say that to the Chief when he gets here, then I will save Pugwash the fucking effort and resign here and now. I am proud of you people. We've been through a lot this last week. Lost a colleague, had to work long hours, Nobby on the naughty step, and to top that off, some bastard nicked my bike and its probably halfway back from France as we speak, filled with drugs,’ he was breaking up, choking. Mandy went to move to him but he started up again. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve let you down. I am knackered and I’m going home, and if you can all resist an “ooh err matron,” I would like Amanda to come with me, if she will.’
He was unaware Mandy had stepped forward, it had been the equivalent of berserking and now, he felt exhausted, but it was Mandy’s turn and clear for all to see. She touched Jack’s hand to shut him up. ‘You all know I love this man, and I will stand by him because of that alone, but I am proud to stand with him as a police officer, as a man, a real man, even if he is a feckin’ eejit with a pink hand. He saved me yesterday, and he saved me just now on the podium, for that I love him more, but most of all, I respect him.’
There was a shout of “Hip, hip hooray, and for they are jolly good fellows”, so old fashioned, but it felt right, though was short lived, a hush, the Chief had moved to stand next to Jack. ‘And I stand with you Jack, and you all as well, so get back to work, and Jack take this girl home and get on with some fucking knitting.’
Jack nodded, his eye was red, ‘Thank you, sir.’
‘Don’t thank me, we have Pugwash’s tribunal to get through. Heaven help us, and save us from blinkered sailor boys.’ The hornpipe dancing was lost on Jack; he was exhausted.
Thirty-Nine
Jack grabbed his jacket, and, leaning into a sharp bend and swerving to miss his messages, he followed Mandy into her office, squealing his tyres, flipping corners, ‘School’s out,’ Jo-Jums called as he departed.
He parked his bike and shuffled to stand behind Mandy as she slumped in her chair, she rolled her neck and sighed. He placed his hands on her shoulders and began to knead. ‘That’s nice, don’t stop,’ he didn’t, and he let her talk while he pressed the stress from her body. ‘Christ, you can have days when nothing happens, and then you have a week like we’ve just had.’ She leaned into his kneading, he worked a little harder and she responded. He leaned over and nibbled her lobe; the ebbing tension was replaced by building excitement. He kissed her neck and allowed his good hand to slide inside her blouse, his finger caressing the outside of her bra; her nipple reacted to the gentle grazing. A muffled moan, ‘What part of let’s take this slowly did you not understand?’
‘Shall I stop?’
‘No,’ urgency in her command. She uncrossed her legs, slid down in her seat and her skirt rode up. Jack was leaning over kissing her lips when a knock and the door opening caused Mandy to leap, the back of her head clunking Jack’s nose.
Alice stifled a disrespectful guffaw, ‘Sorry, Ma’am, message for Jack.’
‘Alice,’ Mandy was breathless, ‘next time, wait until I say come, before entering,’ she knew as soon as she said it.
‘Talking to me, or Jack?’ Jack could not resist a chuckle, even though he was concerned if he would need surgery on his nose, checking to see if it was bleeding.
‘Droll Alice, I still have a bone to pick with you, kissing my man in a pub. What did you want Jack for?’
‘I was undercover, Guv, and Father Mike’s downstairs, he’s left several messages.’
‘It’s only a few hours since his last confession!’ Mandy leaned back in her chair and looked at his upside-down face, ‘What is it with you and that Priest? Get rid of him, get back here, and this time we will lock the door.’
‘I’ll go then, shall I?’ Alice didn’t wait for an answer, she spiralled out and wafted along the corridor.
Jack shuffled to the door. ‘Don’t be long, ugly,’ Mandy called, and Jack managed two fingers of his good hand behind his back and let the door close b
ehind him, and they said he couldn’t multi-task.
He heard Mandy chuckle and mutter, ‘Multi-task?’
The reception was teeming with old trout; women, all looking alike, having been trawled from the Women’s Institute or the Knitting Circle, the twin set and pearls brigade. Father Mike was squashed against the far wall, looking distinctly discomforted. As Jack wriggled his way through the shoal of old cold fish, all moving and twisting in the same direction, Jack saw Hissing Sid raise his head above the shimmering sea of grey and blue rinse, ‘Got a special on Cod and Chips, Sid?’ Jack shouted.
‘Ah, Inspector Austin,’ and this caused the shoal to turn in unison, and as his head bobbed to the surface, Jack could see Sid grinning, a face like a cartoon rubber on the end of a child’s pencil.
‘Inspector Austin,’ not a question but an instruction that could only be borne out of that middle-class confidence and arrogance that insists it must be listened to, and right now. Jack always said you heard people like this in John Lewis stores, talking loudly about knitting, sewing and even bra sizes. Jack knew this because he often took a detour through ladies’ underwear, had even developed a sideways glance almost indistinguishable, allowing him a good look at the knickers and bras; an accomplished dirty old man.
Affecting a guttural theme from Jaws in his head, and in his best Captain Mayhap voice, Jack addressed the fish, ‘Ladies, what’s going on here, Aah Ha?’ Okay, pirate voice.
A head fish emerged, and it reminded him of one of those ugly ones you see on fish stalls in European markets, ‘Inspector Awstin, we are the representatives of the East Cosham Women’s Guild.’ Jack thought, not far off fart-faced Jam and Jerusalem. ‘We need your assurance our policing will be increased so we can sleep safe in our beds at night.’ Jack thought, the way you look, luv, I would say you’re definitely safe. ‘I beg your pardon Inspector.’
