by Ren Hamilton
“And what did you find?” Shep asked, his face blank.
Litner sighed. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Shep lifted his hands and dropped them on the table. “Then that’s that. We can all have a nice meal and enjoy ourselves.”
Litner leaned across the table, resting his elbows on it. “I said I liked you. I never said I trusted you.”
Shep cackled like a hyena. “I’d be disappointed if you did.” He leaned closer to Litner. “I’m not distributing the crop.” Litner’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, as a show of good faith, I’ll tell you this. We were gonna put it in beer. Okay? That was the plan. But we’ve abandoned it.”
“Why?” he said, his tone skeptical.
Next to Shep, Juris pretended to be interested in the beer menu.
“Why,” Shep said. “There are so many reasons. Oh, food!”
Once their plates were set down, Juris took a huge bite of his burger. Litner ate one of his curly fries, then looked at Shep. “I’m asking you to convince me, Shep. I’m tired. I’d like nothing more than to go home with nothing to worry about. But it’s you.”
“It’s me,” Shep said shrugging. “I know. Okay, abridged version. I no longer give a crap about proving anything to those douchebags on the other side. I feel no more need to get the attention of The Light. Or my former superiors. They’re responsible for everything that happened to Allisto. They’re responsible for forcing me to kill my own brother. I want nothing to do with the other side anymore.” He took a bite of his burger.
“Exactly,” Litner said. “They forced you to have to kill your own brother. It is their actions that drove Allisto mad. I’d think you’d want to retaliate more than ever.”
“What will that get me? What’s done is done. They think being here is a punishment for us. So the way I see it, just hanging out, having as awesome a time as we can, is revenge enough.”
Litner picked up his knife and sliced his burger in half. “I’m going to be watching you.”
“Yeah,” Shep said. “You and everyone else. Caught a couple of those messenger skanks in my office the other day. They left pretty quick when I threatened to turn them to flesh and use them as kindling in my fireplace.”
“You can do that?”
“No.” He shook his head, chewing. “But word’s spread about what we did to Preet. Taking his Light. And they scare easily.”
****
After lunch, the three stepped out into the cold, standing on the sidewalk in front of the pub. “So I’m heading back to Boston,” Litner said, pulling his coat tighter around his neck. He looked into Shep’s eyes. “Please don’t make me have to come back up here.”
“You won’t,” he said. “Unless you want to come for a visit, go skiing or something.”
Litner laughed. “All right, Shepherd. Juris. Try to stay out of trouble. I’m begging you.”
“We’ll be good,” Juris said, giving Litner an exaggerated grin.
Litner cocked an eyebrow at Juris. “I’m sure. Have a nice evening.”
They watched him walk off down the road, pulling a hat down over his white hair. “Well,” Shep said. “That’s that. For now.”
“For now.” Juris looked up at the sign above the door: Lakeside Pub and Brewery. “So we’re safe. He has no idea we own this place.”
“Nah.” Shep stood alongside Juris, admiring his establishment. “I was very careful this time. Litner’s a good investigator. But I’m a better criminal.”
Juris looked at him. “He’s going to figure it out eventually, you realize.”
“I’m well aware of that,” Shep said. “But that won’t be for a while. I really do like him. The way I see it, I’m giving Litner some much needed time off from our lives. He’s earned it.”
They headed down the cobblestone road, faces wincing against the chill. “So I’m heading out later tonight, but I’ll be back on Monday,” Juris said.
“You better be, there’s work to be done,” Shep said. “You’ll tell Robin I said hi?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“And you’ll keep your promise. Never talk to her about the plan again.”
Juris stopped, and Shep paused and turned around. “I gave you my word, Shep. You don’t have to keep saying it. Anyway, she never asks. Says she doesn’t want to know.”
Shep took a step closer to him. “You realize she might want to have children someday. And it won’t be with you.”
Juris looked to the side, stuffing his gloved hands in his pockets. “It’s her choice what to do with her life. If I sense her pulling away from me, I’ll let her go.”
“And Juris,” he said. “She usually drinks wine. But just in case. We’ve got minimal distribution in Boston, but it is in some stores. Keep her away from any of our beer brands. Especially the blueberry stout.”
Juris laughed. “She doesn’t really like beer. And I bring wine every time I see her, just as an added precaution.”
Shep smiled. “One last stop, then we can head home. I know it’s freezing. I’ll make some hot chocolate when we get back.”
Juris rolled his eyes. “You really want to do this? Our next stop, I mean.”
“Yes! Don’t shit on my holiday spirit.”
Grinning, Juris shook his head. “Okay. Let’s go.”
They made their way past shops and restaurants, their destination a short walk ahead. Shep looked up at the sky, letting snowflakes melt on his face. While his love of the world didn’t come close to rivaling Juris’s, he’d decided that it wasn’t so bad. Many of his opinions had changed after what they all went through in the autumn. As a silent concession to the objections from humans he cared deeply for, he’d changed the plan somewhat. The crop’s distribution would not be nearly as widespread as he’d initially intended.
Joey was initially disappointed, thinking he’d be denied his future moment in the messianic spotlight, but Shep assured him that the drop in fertility would be widespread enough to be noticed, so Joey would still have his day in the sun when he ultimately presented the cure.
The only difference was there wouldn’t be quite as many people suffering from infertility. It was a compromise he’d made with himself, an unspoken gratitude to those humans who’d aided and comforted him when he was at his weakest. His most traumatized. His most threatened. Each one of them had suffered in the past because of Shep. Yet each one of them came to his aid when he needed it, and that was no small thing.
He thought about all of them, and their contributions. Litner’s warning about the assassin, and then his crucial and much needed support in the chaos that followed—not to mention the friends and colleagues he’d lost. Patrick and Robin had both voluntarily served as bait. Father Carbone allowed him and Juris to call the Schlarr from his church basement. And of course, Wesley—his peaceful, gentle Wes had sacrificed so much of himself by mastering a power he’d never wanted and using it to kill for Shep.
Without all of them, he doubted he’d have survived it. The least he could do was ease up a bit on the gravity of his plan. At one time or another, each of them had begged him to give the plan up.
But he would not give it up entirely. If anything, he was more determined than ever to take something from his celestial enemies, something essential they thought they had full control over. It would ultimately give Shep a substantial fuck-you to his enemies, who thought they’d beaten him. He’d have to be patient, but part of him couldn’t wait for their panicked reaction when they realized he’d gone and done it right under their noses—that he controlled an essential portion of their most precious energy source. Those fuckers.
They surely expected him to cower like a whipped dog after what they’d done to Allisto, leaving him in the void just long enough to irreparably damage his mind. They’d tortured his brother and then forced Shep to have to watch him die horribly. And they thought he’d just let that go? Be too traumatized and fearful to continue his plan? Give up his chance to take power from them?
&nb
sp; I do what I want, fuckers.
He knew they’d be checking in on him, watching him, sending their little messenger spies. And while he wasn’t confident enough to say he could fool them indefinitely, he was certain his behavior would thoroughly confuse them for long enough to get the job done. Because while he’d lied to Litner about moving past what his former celestial colleagues had taken from him, he told the truth about trying to have a good time. To appreciate the world around him, his family, and the blessings he still had. He intended to try for happiness.
And he was off to a good start. Because he had just that morning received the greatest gift he could ask for—the gift of forgiveness.
He slipped the holiday card out of his pocket. The card was adorned with a glittery angel with golden curls and a face that looked eerily like Klee’s. Beneath the angel was just one word scrawled in gold: Peace.
Shep smiled, then read the message written inside again.
‘Z, try to find some joy. We’ve both been deprived of it far too long. – Wes’
“We’re here,” Juris said, and stopped before the door to the pet shop.
“You sure you don’t mind stopping in New Hampshire on your way to Robin’s?”
Juris sighed heavily, but a smirk tilted his lips. “You realize that surprising Wesley with a puppy for Christmas is quite out of character for a diabolical hellion such as yourself.”
“Will you drop the thing off or not?”
“Yes, Shepherd. I will drop the puppy off at Wesley’s house. It is hardly the worst request you’ve ever made of me.”
“Good. Let’s go in. Do you think we should get it one of those doggy sweaters or something? It’s cold in New Hampshire too.”
“Whatever you want, brother,” Juris said. “You’re the boss.”
THE END
About the Author
Ren Hamilton writes mysteries with a supernatural edge and enjoys exploring the emotional depths of colorfully flawed characters. The books will keep coming until there is no life left in the author, or the characters, whichever comes first.
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