by Alex Miska
“Yes, he does. Can I tell you something, if you promise not to use it against anyone in arguments?” she asked. Of course I promised. “They’ve spent the past six months calling you the N.K.A.”
Hunter barely knew me then. How did I get a nickname? “The N.K.A.?”
“The Naked Kitchen Adonis. You know, because you were naked in his kitchen and…”
“And an Adonis?” I added, just to rub it in. An Adonis, I was not. I was pretty average, although I was reasonably buff. Okay, I had a six-pack and a pretty good body, and at the time I think I was so stressed out that I’d worked out enough that that really cool V had started to form.
“Clearly he wasn’t looking at your face, Davey,” she said. “The point is that, for some insane reason, Hunter thought you were gorgeous. He knew you were a good guy and he was embarrassed about how he acted. Even though he is really good with people and stuff usually rolls off him, he couldn’t face you. And then he was so good to you all weekend. Grandpa had to hold him back when my dad talked to you at brunch. That’s not the behavior of someone who was just taking advantage of a situation and is only interested in sex. So what are we going to do to get him back?”
“You mean, what am I going to do,” I corrected her. Because she was right, at no point did Hunter act as though this was casual or a joke, and I had to be the one to fix this. He had given me… “Wait! I have an idea! Are you near a computer?”
It took numerous searches, but I finally found the keywords to get what I was looking for, and every single link had the same suggestion. I’d thought I needed a big gesture… something I could show him to prove my honorable intentions. Something I could hide behind. But what he really needed was the one thing I’d been avoiding: I needed to tell him how I feel.
I woke up to my alarm, feeling like death warmed over, but dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I had barely finished feeding and walking Frodo before Sean was here to drive us into work together. It was great to work somewhere that made amazing breakfast food, but it sucked that I’d have to pretend to be a morning person in twenty minutes.
As we walked inside, I checked my phone one last time, but there were no new text messages on my phone, no missed calls… The weekend really was over. Well, maybe he’d come in later for his daily caramel latte. Maybe.
“Oh god, he’s sighing,” Julian said. “I don’t know if we should let him and Logan be in the same room together. It might create some horrible feedback loop.”
“I heard that,” Logan called from the kitchen. “Now come back here so I can feed you, Hunter.”
“You don’t have to feed me. I’m fine,” I told Logan. But I let him feed me because that was how he rolled. If someone was upset or happy or excited… Logan whipped up the perfect food for them.
“Julian told me what happened,” Logan said as he set some croissants and jam in front of me along with a cup of true hot chocolate… the kind that was made with actual chocolate.
“Thanks,” I told him, and then turned on his brother. “Now, Julian, what’s with you gossiping with Brooke and fantasizing about weddings full of sparkly edible unicorn poop?”
“Well, she called one day and we got to talking and then I had to tell her when David told me you were straight and…”
“You know Julian’s a total buttinsky,” Logan said.
“Wait wait wait. Sparkly edible unicorn poop? What?” Julian asked, looking totally baffled.
“Sean told me all about your little conversations with Brooke and that you two were planning David’s and my wedding…” and I told him an abbreviated version of the elaborate story Sean had shared with me. “And the guests were all served the sparkly rainbow ice cream.”
“Umm…” Julian and Logan just stared at me like I’d lost my mind.
“I never said that,” Sean said, barely holding in his laughter. “But you did keep nodding off while I was talking. Maybe you dreamed it?”
“I didn’t dream it,” I told him. I should have known that was where this was going. “You always do this! I’m overtired or I’ve been drinking and you tell me something really weird that someone did or said about me and then when I tell people, you claim I imagined it.”
“You have a really active imagination,” my best friend told me with a totally straight face. “It’s not my fault that you’re a weird drunk.”
“Only around you,” I muttered.
“That sounds like a challenge, Lo!” Julian told his brother. “Now you have to make sparkly unicorn poop cookies. Or cupcakes. I know you hate cupcakes, but I think unicorn poop is worth it. Sean, stay and help him. Hunter and I need to go set up for the day.”
“Wait, Hunter…” Logan said with a strength I hadn’t heard from him since his breakup. “Don’t let the N.K.A. go. If you think he’s worth it, fight for him.”
Julian hugged his brother and I found my voice long enough to thank Logan. I wasn’t sure how I’d fight for David, but he was worth it. I wasn’t sure what happened yesterday, but maybe I could prove to him that we really could have something special, something real.
Monday mornings were always busy. People were exhausted from the weekend and needed a lift before they could face the workday. Corporate types arrived early barking orders. Yoga-pants-wearing stay-at-home moms showed up after dropping kids off at school, challenging us with complex orders. People who worked from home showed up next, ordering coffee and a pastry and settling in with their laptop for the day. We were full throughout lunch, when people caught each other up on their weekends, either in the café or grabbing food for picnics. A lull between 2 and 3 gave us time to eat our own lunches before the after-school and after-work crowds came pouring in.
5:25 came and went, without a visit from the Naked Kitchen Adonis. By 6, I had lost the drive that had gotten me through the day. Sean and Julian were in the back, making up some kind of floral care package that included dream bars and the experimental new unicorn poop cookies. So I stayed in front and half-heartedly helped customers, gave out the last of the special order pastries, said goodbye to the mobile-office crowd that spent the day here, and began to clean up.
One of those oh-god-please-say-you’re-open last-minute customers came through the door, and I turned to greet them, only to be arrested by the sight of David, looking slightly awkward but still dapper, in a plum blazer and a floral tie I’d never seen before. (Yes, I noticed his ties every day. Shut up, he had a really nice tie collection and… just shut up.) In his hands was a gorgeous orchid plant in a pot.
“H- hi,” I stammered, and tried to remember how to smile. This was a smile, right? No, it was too weird and wide, so I turned it down a notch. WHY WAS I SO AWKWARD?!
“Umm… I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t really understand… Wait, first I should give you this.”
He thrust the pot at me. I had a brown thumb and orchids were such delicate plants, but… “It’s beautiful, thank you.”
“It’s a precious flower,” he whispered, stepping closer. “You… deserve something precious.”
“Oh! That’s so sweet.” My fingers traced along the stem lightly, grazing over the cheerful yellow blooms. My eyes began to sting and I blinked them furiously, trying to understand what he was trying to tell me. He handed me a handkerchief, monogrammed with his initials, and I took it gratefully to dab at my eyes. His thumb brushed my unshaven jaw and I looked back up to meet his eyes, which were warm and full of questions I could only hope I understood.
“The weekend’s over, now. Our fake relationship is over,” he told me. “But I was hoping… maybe we could start a real one? A real relationship, just you and me. And Frodo, I want to meet Frodo, I should have met Frodo… And all our meddling, gossipy friends who are watching from the doorway and I’m pretty sure Julian is filming this for Brooke…”
I put the orchid down because I was very tempted to throw it at my friends’ heads. There was so much I wanted to say. But instead I kissed him. Fir
st, a tentative brush of the lips that had us bumping noses, then with more certainty when I realized he wasn’t drawing back, he wasn’t going away… His thumb continued to brush my jaw, but he didn’t pull me closer. I poured all my emotions into this kiss… those tender feelings that were on the brink of love.
“Awwwwwwwwwa!” Julian and Sean cooed. I flipped them the bird, but couldn’t keep myself from chuckling.
“Yes,” I told David as I leaned my forehead against his. “I think… this was already real.”
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want. I know you don’t have relationships with men…” his voice trailed off.
“I haven’t had a relationship with a man yet,” I corrected. But then, for a moment, I realized I might need clarification. “I think… isn’t it like having a relationship with anyone?”
Somebody in the peanut gallery snorted.
“Yes, Hun,” David said. “Only… some people are going to hate us for it. Including my family.”
“Not the people that matter. Not the people who are worth having in our lives.” I assured him. I’d thought about it a lot over the past week, as I prepared to go into battle by David’s side. My parents… they wouldn’t hate. They loved me and I knew they’d come around in time and accept any man I loved.
David pulled me close and I breathed him in. The spicy, warm scent of his lingering cologne wrapped around me and I felt safe and happy… like I could take on the world.
But first: “Do you want to grab a bite to eat and meet my dog?”
David pulled back from the hug and grinned widely. “I would love to meet your dog. Actually, I brought a treat and a toy for him. Before we go, I need to-”
“I’ll mail your care package to Brooke! Julian and I added a couple of things of our own,” Sean told him. David pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to him to enclose in the package. We said distracted goodbyes, 98% of our attention seemingly focused on each other and the joyful energy crackling between us. I picked up my precious orchid, and we walked out of the store together hand-in-hand. For real, this time.
1 year later
“When Hunter said you were going to grow old and grey surrounded by a million cats and dogs, he wasn’t lying,” Brooke said as she took in the sheer number of animals in the room. The entire extended Moore family had gone on a giant vacation, and Hunter and I were taking care of all their animals for the weekend. As living rooms went, this was probably pretty large… but it was currently filled with 7 dogs and 4 cats. More, if you factored in the fact that cat the boy rescued was pregnant.
“Ha. Ha. Ha,” Hunter said sarcastically at my phone from across the room. “I said that about my boss, not us. And wasn’t I right? Five of these are his!”
Hunter’s boss had indeed gotten back together with his boyfriend and melded their two furry families. Add in two adopted boys, their dog, and the pregnant cat one of them had just rescued from behind the bakery, and… they were inarguably well on their way to those million pets.
Only two of the dogs were ours. Frodo, our basset hound, lay in a corner with a little tortoiseshell cat draped on top of him. Our beagle mix Merry romped with Luna and Cupcake while Roger watched over them anxiously. Frankie the pug stared at us, because he still found videochatting fascinating, while Hunter helped Cassius choose a different hat to wear after dinner. Two Siamese cats, Mikey and Leo, lay on high perches, while the calico rescue (whom I’d temporarily named Angel) lay under an armchair in the corner.
“I’m in a madhouse!” I yelped at Brooke, but she just laughed at me (which, to be fair, was probably the intention of her call).
“How are you doing?” Hunter asked her and then said, “Don’t give me the devil-eyes, David. You want to know too.”
“Pregnant,” Brooke moaned. My poor cousin was insanely fertile. She conceived her first child immediately after the wedding (although I suspect it may have been a few weeks beforehand) and within a month of giving birth, became pregnant with baby number two. “Again. Still. Forever. It’s never going to end! Morning sickness is killing me and soon there won’t be room on my lap for my other baby. How is he going to cope with a little brother or sister?”
“He’ll be okay. There’ll be room on your lap soon enough, and he’ll be happy to have a partner-in-crime,” I said. At her dubious look, I added, “I only tried to bring Tonya to the pound that one time.”
“You kept trying to sell her to strangers in the supermarket, too. For years,” she pointed out. As if she hadn’t helped me enact my dastardly plans.
“What? She was cute! I could have gotten so much candy and Pokemon with the money! And you know I love her and would have totally freaked out if anyone had actually tried to take me up on my offer.” My actions were completely justified, and she knew it.
“This conversation is derailing way too quickly,” Brooke said with a wave of her hand. “Hunter, how are you doing? Anything new?”
I almost answered for him, but there was something conniving in Brooke’s tone. She was up to something.
“Actually, while we have you with us… David, I have something I want to give you,” Hunter said. He took a beribboned box from the corner and handed it to me gingerly, as if it was going to explode at the slightest touch. It could maybe hold a folded shirt, but not much more. Definitely not yet another animal. “Go ahead, open it. And then I can explain.”
“Explain?” I asked, but I warily opened it to find a manila folder. Inside were pictures of real estate listings and budgets and… information about an animal rescue and a mental health clinic. Was this…?
“You hate your job, and you could market the hell out of this. The Cooperative Canine Clinic is your dream, and it isn’t silly. There’s already a rescue and clinic that are interested in partnering with you, there are grants you can go for, and I spoke with an accountant about how to run this as a non-profit. The numbers aren’t all there – you’ll know more about what would be needed to make this happen and I have information on people who could help with that too…”
Hunter got down before me on one knee and took my hand in his. Goddammit. I glanced at Brooke and the mischief in her eyes told me all I needed to know: the bitch set this up.
“Some people give rings,” he told me. “And we can get rings. But… I love you and I want a life with you. I want to make you happy and help you live out your dreams and… I want to grow old and grey with you, surrounded by a million dogs. Kids too, eventually. Please, David. Will you marry me?”
I wasn’t ready for this. One more week, and I would have been. But not yet.
I stood and manhandled Hunter until he was sitting in the chair. Once he was settled, I fished a small box out of my pocket and got down on one knee before him. “Hunny-Buns, I haven’t really planned this out yet, but someone insisted that I pick up the rings from the goldsmith yesterday… so I’m going to wing it. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. From the moment I spoke to you, I knew I was yours. Will you please make me the happiest man alive and be my husband? My very real husband?”
He opened the box and looked inside to find two matching bands, one for each of us. “I wasn’t sure whether you’d like them, but it has special meaning to us and we can use them as engagement rings and switch them out for wedding bands and-”
He took one out and examined it. “Are these…?”
“Precious metals, engraved with precious flowers, with a precious gem inset in each,” I told him. “Sorry, I know it’s over the top and-”
“No! They’re absolutely perfect!” he said, kissing me firmly on the lips to shut me up. “And yes, I’ll marry you. But only if you marry me. You never gave me that answer.”
“Yes, Hunter. I’ll marry you, too,” I said, laughing with joy and kissing him again. “But… before we talk about the clinic, I was hoping… I’m making good money, now, and that biomedical firm is sniffing around you and your newest project. Will you please let me support us while
you finish up your degree?”
“Can I say something?” Brooke piped in. I’d almost forgotten she was watching. “This isn’t one of those gift-of-the-Magi situations. It will probably take a while before the clinic can get off the ground, so David will still be working for at least another year. You guys can do both. You can have everything!”
I looked into Hunter’s eyes. If I had him, I would have everything. But all this… it was like a dream. I knew Hunter was proud and refused to take on student loans, but maybe…
“I know it’s important to you to do this for me. So if you consider making the Cooperative Canine Clinic a reality, I will quit my job and go to school full-time,” he said. And I could do that. I could actually take a chance and make that insane fantasy happen. “But… the new school year starts in a few weeks.”
“Elope!” Brooke demanded. Frankie the pug woofed as if in agreement, and all the other dogs woofed too in a little canine chorus.
“I think they’re ganging up on us,” I teased.
“Clearly, we don’t have a choice. I guess we’ll just have to get married,” Hunter agreed. I pulled my fiancé into my arms and claimed his mouth with mine. Claimed him as mine.
I was faintly aware of Brooke babbling on about all the things she and Sean and who-knew-else had already arranged for us. It didn’t really matter – whatever recipe my crazy cousin cooked up for us was always a success.
If you enjoyed The Boyfriend Recipe, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads:
Want to read more about the Moores?
Logan Moore, the baker and owner of Moore Delicious, comes out and falls in love with his long-time crush in A Chance for Moore (Moore Romance, book 1).
His brother Julian Moore fights and falls in love with their eldest brother’s friend in Love You, Moore (Moore Romance, book 2).
And the entire Moore family –pets, friends, and all– celebrates and grows in The Moore the Merrier (Moore Romance, book 2.5).
