Elizabeth sighed. “I am so happy for them, sir. I cannot imagine any people more suited to each other than they are.” She glanced at him. “And I know she is now safe from the attentions of Mr. Collins.”
“Yes, you are quite right.”
There was a long silence. Elizabeth listened to Georgiana playing and occasionally glanced at Mr. Darcy. He seemed deep in thought.
Finally, he wiped his forehead and sighed. “I am sorry to be a poor companion today, Miss Bennet.”
“Sir, I do not think that. But I think you have much on your mind.” She bit her lip. “Perhaps I am adding too much to your concerns.” Where would she go if she had to leave here?
He glanced at her. “Please do not entertain such thoughts, Miss Bennet. My concern is how I should phrase what I wish to ask you.”
She looked attentively at him.
“In what way may I help, sir? I would not wish to be the cause of such extended difficulties in your mind.”
He smiled reluctantly. “It is not what I am going to say, Miss Bennet, but how to say it so as not to offend and also to hope for the answer I wish you to give.”
She smiled. “Well then, I give you full permission to make your statement. I promise faithfully not to be offended. As to the answer, you will get none at all unless you ask the question.”
He chuckled, a rich sound that warmed her heart.
“You are correct, Miss Bennet. And yet…”
Chapter 29
She sat there, looking expectant. She had some idea of what he might ask, but as yet no idea how she should answer. To agree would be unthinkable, to refuse would be worse.
But first, she must know why he wanted to ask. If he were only asking out of a sense of duty and obligation, then she must refuse, must be strong.
Her heart sank, it must be because of his obligation. Why else would a man of his stature be thinking of this? She drew a deep breath. She might be wrong completely. Perhaps he would ask that she take employment he had found for her? Perhaps he wanted her out of his life.
She must just wait and see what he said.
He looked away. “This is difficult for me. Since I first arrived at Netherfield with Mr. Bingley, much has changed in ways I could not imagine.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “For the first time in my life, I found myself disconcerted at my response to a lady. Moreover, a lady from a family that I would normally never relate to.”
“Tolerable, sir?” Elizabeth had to lighten the mood. The intensity was almost too much for her to bear.
He glanced at her. “You did hear. I suspected as much when you went to your friend and laughed with her. I was mortified to think you had heard.” He dropped his head and sighed. “I was trying to tell myself I was most assuredly not interested.” He smiled wryly. “If I could not convince myself, what chance anyone else would not notice?”
She laughed. “I think you fooled everyone else, sir. All the community had you marked down as proud and arrogant.”
“I know it.” He groaned. “And I would have been pleased that I had hidden my interest. But I could not hide it from myself. When you stayed at Netherfield when your sister was unwell, I watched you, talked to you, was …” he looked away again. “I admit, I was bewitched by you. You are like no lady I have ever met before.” He looked round, met her eyes. “I admit I was in a fair way to falling in love with you.”
Elizabeth looked down. “I don’t know what you told yourself, sir, but I had no idea you had such feelings.”
“It was very wrong of me, but I still wished to deny it to myself.” He fell silent, thinking.
Elizabeth waited. She did not know what to think. Georgiana’s music filled her mind, a gentle, quiet air, very suitable to think to.
“And then you and all your family came to the ball at Netherfield. And your cousin.” Mr. Darcy’s voice was colder. Elizabeth shuddered.
“I was able to have the honour of several dances with you to help you to avoid his advances.” He shifted in his seat and seemed to wish he could stride about the room. “I found myself enraged at the thought Mr. Collins might secure your hand in marriage.”
Her chin went up. “I would never marry him. Never.”
He smiled tightly at her. “You told me that. But I could sense a sadness within you. I thought that you might know you would have to escape an intolerable situation.” He looked into her eyes. “I could not bear the thought that you would have nowhere to go.”
He slumped back in the chair. “I am not proud of what I did then. I allowed myself to be persuaded to leave Netherfield for London the next morning, persuaded myself that I needed to get away, to tell myself that I could get over this, that I must not think of you further.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Telling yourself how to think and feel does not often succeed. I have discovered that myself, sir.”
He glanced over. “So I found out. While you were leaving your home, cutting your hair and putting on those dreadful garments, risking your very life; I was here, failing to sleep and feeling a dreadful foreboding about your safety.” He suddenly sat forward, reached out, then withdrew his hand again. “You must know the rest. Miss Bennet, I am disturbed that in the course of helping you, I put you in a compromising situation. I would not have done so if another alternative was available.” His eyes held hers, burning with emotion.
“Miss Bennet, I would honour my obligation to you, in any event. But I am not making you an offer because of that.” He smiled slightly. “I think your pride and independence would compel you to refuse me.” His face turned serious.
“But I am asking you to do me the honour of becoming my wife. I most sincerely love you, and I cannot bear the thought of living my life without you by my side.”
Elizabeth dragged her gaze away from his, and looked down. Her breathing was ragged and painful with emotion, and she struggled to calm herself.
“You do me great honour, Mr. Darcy.” Her voice was quiet, and she knew he would have to strain his ears to hear her. “But I am anxious about answering.”
“Please do not be. Although I am possibly equally anxious to hear you.” He leaned forward. “I want you to be happy, to be free to make your own choices.” His voice was twisted with pain, she thought distractedly.
“I am anxious,” she repeated. “I owe you my very life, Mr. Darcy. My life. What if I tell myself I love you because of that, if I am deceiving myself?” She shook her head as he looked as if he wished to speak.
“Please, please let me tell you this. I had heard so much about you, about your pride and arrogance. But all I have seen from you has been concern and gentleness.” She blinked hard. “But I have heard a story about your refusal to honour a promise your father made — and I heard from your own lips that your good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” She forced herself to meet his gaze.
“What if I am deceiving myself, gratitude for love? What if I lose your good opinion once it is too late, and we cannot then even be on good terms?”
He smiled lovingly at her, and her heart melted.
“I would not have you distress yourself so much about my offer, Miss Bennet.” He made an exclamation of annoyance, then smiled wryly. “I am sorry, I cannot call you by such formal means in this conversation. Elizabeth, dear Elizabeth. You might hear such things about me, but I most sincerely hope that you will believe your own experiences of me rather than what you might hear, perhaps from someone who bears a grudge.” He touched her hand, sending a sudden shock through her.
“As for love, perhaps mine can be strong enough for both of us at first.” His eyes searched her face.
“You love your sister very much, I know. But she was your sister before you loved her. You had the relationship and the love developed afterwards. We could do that.” He swallowed.
“My dearest Elizabeth, I cannot imagine making my life without you in it. I would ask you most sincerely that I do not have to.”
She gazed over his head, out of the window, to the tr
eetops and the rooftops beyond. He said his love could count for both of them. She could take her time, learn to love him. She could be secure. She knew he would keep her safe.
She bit her lip. “You do understand that I am not the easiest, most amiable of ladies you might have chosen? I have heard remarks that I am too inclined to give my opinions, and much too independent for many people to approve of. You might wish to reconsider your offer, sir.”
He leaned back and laughed. The music hesitated and she listened to Georgiana working to pick up the tune again.
“Why would I wish to reconsider? These are aspects of your character that I love the most, Elizabeth. And you are most beautiful. You take my breath away when you enter a room.” He looked at her with such love in his eyes, such warm regard, she could dissemble no longer.
She smiled. “Yes. I thank you, sir. I will accept your offer and I am most happy to do so.”
He look disbelieving for a moment, then he sighed. “Thank you. Thank you, my dearest Elizabeth.” He took her hand and raised it to his lips. His searing touch jolted straight to her heart.
“Might we share this news with my sister and my friend?”
She smiled, “Of course, sir. They have been most patient while we talked.”
They rose and he drew her over to the piano.
“Georgiana, may I ask that you are the first to congratulate us? Elizabeth has agreed to become my wife.”
Chapter 30
Dinner that evening was quietly content. Mr. Darcy could barely take his eyes off Elizabeth. He was happy to see she seemed more relaxed and smiled more than before.
She was tired, though. He could see her eyes drooping sometimes and she was finding it hard to keep up with the conversation as she usually did.
She sat at his right hand, opposite Georgiana, and he listened as his sister kept the conversation going, to ease Elizabeth’s burden. He knew she was pleased with his choice of Elizabeth, and they were already friends.
He caught Bingley’s eye and seized a quiet moment. “So, Bingley, you have the Special Licence burning a hole in your pocket.” He smiled. “Have you written to Miss Bennet to tell her yet?”
“Indeed I have.” Mr. Bingley helped himself to more potatoes. “I have sent it express and I have urged her to reply to me as soon as she is able to. I am anxious to hear what the situation is at Longbourn.”
Mr. Darcy caught Elizabeth’s glance at Mr. Bingley during the exchange.
“Miss Bennet knows you are safe, Elizabeth. But we think she does not yet know you are here. Unless your father has returned home, of course. The constable implied that your father had told him you were here.”
“Oh, yes.” She frowned slightly. “I had forgotten that.” She looked up. “How could he have known?”
“Please do not distress yourself, Elizabeth. I expect someone on Gracechurch Street reported it. My coach is easily distinguishable.”
She smiled slightly. “I understand.” She turned to Mr. Bingley.
“Do you propose the wedding very soon, Mr. Bingley?”
He smiled at her. “I will consult with your sister, Miss Bennet. While I would earnestly propose an early date, it is entirely up to her, and I expect she would wish to consult with her mother, should your mother approve.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Do you really think my mother will not approve? Or that she will not be instantly diverted to the cause of organising the wedding?”
Mr. Darcy smiled. His own Elizabeth was reemerging from the terrors of the last week.
“I believe Mr. Bingley enjoyed the visit he made when your mother had taken to her room yesterday.”
Elizabeth looked at him. “But she will most certainly be determined to be at the centre of arrangements.” She looked around to him. He saw a certain sadness in her eyes and wondered if that was because she knew that she was her mother’s least favourite daughter.
He leaned forward. “Would you wish the wedding to be in London, Elizabeth? Or postponed, so that you might be there? With me at your side, you would be free to attend if you so desired.”
She shook her head. “That I will leave to Jane — and you, Mr. Bingley.” She glanced round. “But I confess I am too overwhelmed this evening to think about such things.”
Mr. Darcy touched her hand. “I think you are very tired. Remember, Sir James said the medication you have is not a sleeping draught, but it will suppress your cough so that you might rest more easily.”
She nodded, but he was sure he saw her shudder. He spoke very quietly.
“Would you prefer it if your maid slept in a cot in your room for tonight?”
She glanced at him. “Thank you for your kind thought, sir, but I shall be quite all right.”
At the end of the meal, he watched as the ladies rose and went to the drawing room. He and Bingley remained at the table and drank their port.
“Are you returning to Netherfield tomorrow?” Darcy absent-mindedly turned his glass round and round.
“I am not sure, Darcy.” Mr. Bingley’s eyes were on his friend’s hand. “I might wait until I have a return letter from Miss Jane Bennet.” He made a slight expression of distaste. “I also feel I need to call on my sisters and inform them of our engagement.”
Darcy felt the same emotion that was on his friend’s face. “Perhaps I should accompany you. I suppose Miss Bingley will need my reassurance that Georgiana is not desolated at your loss.” He smiled broadly, and Mr. Bingley laughed reluctantly.
“Perhaps.”
“We will do well to wait until breakfast. It seems over the last few days that events overtake our plans.” He downed his drink. “I do think, though, that Elizabeth would be sorry to miss your wedding — although I must ensure that her parents are not disposed to make her unhappy with any unfortunate remarks. I would not willingly see your bride torn between her parents and her sister.”
“And what about you, Darcy? Have you told Elizabeth that even with a Special Licence, she must have the consent of her father to marry?”
“Not yet. I think I need to see him somehow. The only other alternative is to wait until she is one and twenty, or we go to Scotland.”
Mr. Bingley looked thoughtful. “Surely Mr. Bennet will not pursue her marriage to Collins once he knows that you will be in a position to support his family when it becomes necessary?”
Mr. Darcy stood up. “I would think not. But Collins is an odious man. He might wish to make things very difficult.” He went to the door. “Enough. We have been away from the ladies long enough. I would hope to persuade Elizabeth to retire early. She looks very fatigued.”
“Of course, you are right.” Mr. Bingley joined him and they joined the ladies.
Chapter 31
Elizabeth woke feeling refreshed. Her maid was pouring steaming water into the basin and two nights of good sleep had raised her spirits a great deal. She yawned and stretched.
“Thank you, Rachel.” She saw the maid had selected yet another of Georgiana’s gowns and smiled. This one was the palest blue silk and she had to admit, she was enjoying wearing dresses made of such beautiful fabrics. And it was as well she and Georgiana were such a similar size.
As she washed, she scrutinised herself in the glass. Her eyes looked much better, the sore-looking redness had almost gone, and the only visible sign of her ordeal was the short hair that mocked her every time she looked at her reflection.
It was not so bad now, she conceded to herself. She had very much enjoyed the visit from a top styliste that Mr. Darcy had insisted on summoning to the house yesterday. She and Georgiana had retreated to a spare salon upstairs and Elizabeth had had the novel experience to her of having her hair trimmed and styled. Always before she and Jane had cut each other’s hair, and they had not been brave enough to experiment by trimming more than an inch or so from the ends.
Hurriedly she dressed, her daydreaming would make her late downstairs and she was surprised by how much each day she looked forward to meeting Mr. Darcy.
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Today he met her at the bottom of the stairs, lifting her hand to his lips. “Good morning, Elizabeth. You are looking better each morning. How do you feel today?”
She curtsied. “Good morning, sir. I feel very much better, as I am sure you can tell.”
He smiled appreciatively. “I am very happy to hear it.” He led her through to the dining room where she greeted Georgiana.
As they sat at the table, a footman entered with a letter on a silver tray.
“Thank you.” Mr. Darcy tapped the folded sheets on the table, frowning. He seemed to come to a decision.
“Excuse me, Elizabeth, Georgiana. Would you agree to me reading this letter here? I may wish to discuss the contents with you.”
Elizabeth inclined her head in agreement.
“Of course, Fitzwilliam.” Georgiana sounded surprised. Elizabeth was also confused by this. Protocol would normally demand he excuse himself from the table to read it.
As he read, the two ladies stayed silent, and Elizabeth saw his face darken with anger. She wondered who it was. He had obviously recognised the handwriting or the seal, but he was most assuredly not pleased with what he was reading.
He put the letter down onto the table with an expression of distaste. “I must have some more coffee, then I need to discuss this with you, Elizabeth.” He glanced at his sister before he looked back at her. “I would ask if I might include Georgiana in the conversation?”
“Of course.” Elizabeth smiled at the girl. “We are to be sisters. There is little that should be secret between us.”
He smiled at that, but his face quickly became more serious. He looked steadily at Elizabeth.
“I am not happy at having to raise these matters with you again, Elizabeth, having seen you improving so much with rest and security here, but I must acquaint you with the situation regarding your family and your cousin.”
She stared at him in dismay, although she had known the news might not be palatable.
Compromise and Obligation: A Darcy and Elizabeth Pride and Prejudice Regency Variation Page 12
