“I believe that things will work out, in the end,” Eleanor said, trying to remain cheerful. It was exactly what she would have said, if she weren’t feeling so devastated.
Lady Julia placed her hand over Eleanor’s, where it rested on her shoulder. “I hope that you’ll consider coming here with me,” she said. “It would be good to have a familiar face.”
“Of course, My Lady. Though, I would like to talk to Olivia about it first,” Eleanor murmured.
“Oh, certainly,” Lady Julia replied.
“Do you really think that you’ll throw such large parties?” Eleanor asked, changing the subject.
Lady Julia let out a deep breath. “I’ll have to, won’t I?”
“Not necessarily,” Eleanor said. “That’s how the Dowager Duchess did things. That’s not how you have to.”
“That is wise.” Lady Julia stared into the mirror, her brow furrowed. “I’ll have to figure out what my way of doing things will be. Although, I would like to attempt to pull it off. It feels like a challenge, which I must admit, I feel up to.”
Eleanor could see Lady Julia as the Duchess of Durnsott, far more than she could see herself. She felt it keenly. This was how things were. No matter how much she loved the Duke, she was going to have to give him up.
“Just imagine,” Lady Julia murmured. “Musicians and poets, dancing until the sun comes up.”
“Fancy dinners,” Eleanor added, “and fine dresses.”
“It seems like a fairy story, doesn’t it?”
“No, My Lady,” Eleanor replied. “Not among the ton, it isn’t.” She wished for a fairy godmother as she swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to brush out her mistress’ hair.
Aaron wanted nothing more than to see Eleanor. They had been apart for far too long. But the past day had been full of other things, guests who needed his attention and discussions that had needed to be had.
He went up to his study, where he could have a few moments alone. More and more, the company took over his thoughts and time. He closed the door, then sat down in his chair.
After days apart, they would be eager to see each other. He imagined kissing her, parting her lips with his tongue. Though he had never seen her undressed, he knew that she would be like an angel in a Renaissance painting—her body perfectly proportioned, soft beneath his hands.
As he sat there, staring down at his coffee cup, he could hear her soft moans of pleasure.
There was a knock at his study door, and he was jarred out of his thoughts. He sighed, heavily. “Come in,” he said, unsurprised when the door opened to reveal Louisa.
“I was wondering,” Louisa said. “If you might allow me to throw one last party here, before I leave.”
“No,” he replied, his eyes on the window. “I think not.” He was taking over the reins before the horse got out of control. She had held them for far too long already.
When he turned to look at her, she was frowning. Her brows were knit together. “You’re already having the ball here,” he pointed out.
“You won’t allow me to say goodbye to my friends?”
“That you may do,” he replied. “But I am not paying for a second elaborate ball to do so.” He wasn’t one for excess, and he knew that his step-mother would think little of spending enough to feed a small country on a weekend of festivities.
“I think you owe it to me,” she stated. “This was my home.”
“It’s mine,” he told her. “You will be going to London, where I daresay, I will be paying for whatever you do there.”
“Will I be allowed to attend the wedding?” she asked, tears coming to her eyes. “Lady Julia will need my help, learning how to run this household.”
“Do you think me cold, Louisa?” he asked. “I am not trying to do you harm.”
“It feels as though you want me gone,” she said, sniffling.
Aaron felt guilty, as he realized that she thought that he was trying to excise her from his life entirely.
“No, not at all,” he said gently. “I just think that you would be much happier in London. While I—I would like to arrange things at Myrtlegrove as my new bride and I see fit. We are so different, you and I. We clash. We always have.”
She smiled sadly. “There you are correct.”
“I want to be less extravagant,” he explained. “I do not want to run the estate like my Father did. I want to focus on the horses, and living simply. I want for us both to be happy, and Jack as well. Surely, you see this?”
“Yes, yes I do,” she said.
“Then let us be friends, Louisa. But let us go our separate ways. You may have a very luxurious dinner to say goodbye to all of your friends. But a second ball— I just don’t see the point.”
“But what about your engagement party?” she asked. “Surely that will be a ball.”
“Not necessarily,” Aaron replied.
“I have promised Lady Julia a grand ball,” she said. “To celebrate your engagement. Just like the balls that I used to throw.”
Aaron’s stomach did a flip. “You did?”
“Yes.”
“Why did you not ask me first?” he wondered. His mind was reeling. Louisa thought that he was planning on asking Lady Julia for her hand. What was more, she was making promises based on a falsehood.
“Because I thought that you wouldn’t mind.” Louisa shrugged.
“Let me think on it,” he said. He felt exhausted. Things were spiraling out of his control. He needed to get through the next few weeks with his honor intact.
“As you wish,” she replied, beaming brightly. “I will leave you to your thoughts. You do have so much to think about.”
He turned back toward the window. Even after their understanding, he still felt like she was maneuvering him. Well, it was one of the last times that she would do so. He was resolved on it. She would go to London, and then Aaron would have his freedom.
I need to see Eleanor, he thought. She was the only light in the darkness. He walked to the desk, quickly writing Eleanor a missive. He then rang for Mr. Bradshaw, his new valet, whom he hoped would be the very soul of discretion.
There was a soft knock on Lady Julia’s door. Eleanor hung up one of the dresses that she had just finished ironing. When she opened it, she was not surprised to see Mr. Bradshaw standing there, a smug grin on his face. However, he held out a letter, addressed to her in Aaron’s hand.
Her heart leapt into her throat.
“This will get back to the Dowager Duchess,” he said.
“I don’t have anything of value,” she replied.
“You do,” he said, looking down at her locket.
“It’s the only thing I have from my parents,” she said, hoping that he would change his mind.
“Then it is very valuable to you, just like your private concerns.”
She swallowed, and didn’t respond. Her mind raced, only to come to the knowledge that there was nothing that she could do, but give him her locket.
“Just like this letter from His Grace must be,” he went on, looking at it. “And how much you must not want Lady Julia to find out about it.” He tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.
Eleanor swallowed the painful lump in her throat. Whatever you do, do not cry in front of him, she told herself. She unclasped it, feeling as though she were giving up a part of herself.
It had been the only thing that she’d had from her parents. She handed it to him. He gave her the letter. Then, they parted.
She entered the room, wiping at her eyes. It’s just a locket, she reasoned. But it wasn’t. It had been the only clue as to who she had once been. And now, she would likely never get it back.
She tore open the letter.
Meet me out by the stables. I need to see you, My Love.
Eleanor wiped at her eyes. What was done was already done. There was no use crying about it. After all, eighteen years had passed, with not one word from or about her parents. Mostly likely, they had placed her there
themselves.
Chapter 22
As soon as Eleanor found Aaron back by the stables, he grabbed her hand. “Come,” he said. “I need to speak to you alone.”
Her mind pictured what he could possibly have in mind. She felt herself blush.
There was the mill, which was out by the river. Inside, it was deserted.
“They’re already done for the day,” he told her, closing and locking the door behind them. He turned toward her, kissing her, and she laughed.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I thought you wanted to talk,” she said, though she was curious to know if what Mr. Bradshaw had said was true.
“Perhaps not,” he replied, then kissed her again, and she ran her fingers through his hair. He placed his hands on her waist, holding her close to him. “Was there something that you wanted to talk about?” he asked her, caressing her cheek gently.
“Aren’t you worried that someone might find us here?” Eleanor’s heart hammered inside of her chest. She turned toward him, pulling him to her.
“I just—” he murmured, his thumb rubbing against her lower lip. “Whenever I’m around you, everything melts away. I’m not sad or frustrated any more. I just…I love you, Eleanor.”
“I love you, too.” It was true. She kissed him. The kiss deepened. Eleanor let him lay her back, into the soft straw that was strewn across the floor.
“I won’t take anything away from you,” he promised. “I wouldn’t do that—” She placed her fingers on his lips to silence him.
“I trust you,” she whispered, kissing him. She could feel that he loved her. She knew that he would do what he could, to allow them to be together.
His hands roved her body, teasing her through her dress. She moaned softly as his fingers toyed with her nipples through the fabric. He trailed kisses along her neck, down to the collar of her dress. Her fingers were wrapped in his hair.
She lay beneath him, as he slipped a hand up under her skirts. His fingers found the folds, touching her where no one had ever touched her before.
He circled with his fingers. His eyes were on hers, watching her as he pleasured her. He began to move his fingers, and she felt something building up inside of her. She panted, feeling the muscles at her core as they let go.
Aaron pressed his lips to hers, so that her moans were answered with kisses. Eleanor collapsed against him as he lay beside her in the straw. Her breathing was heavy. He kissed her forehead.
“What are we going to do?” she wondered.
“I’m figuring it out,” he replied, his breath warm against her skin. “I’ll have a plan soon.”
“Good,” she said, hoping that he would. She trusted him. She just didn’t trust Mr. Bradshaw and his discretion.
“Kiss me once more,” Aaron said, as Eleanor turned toward him to say goodbye. They were standing behind the stables. She smiled, her hands on his cheeks.
The kiss was all too brief, yet passionate. She looked him in the eyes one last, time. She cupped his cheek in her hand. He covered her hand with his own.
He would recall their fevered kisses in the millhouse, and the way that the light had fallen on Eleanor’s hair, lighting it up amber. Her beauty made him pause—if she had been wearing a fine lady’s clothing, she would have fit in among the ton.
“I don’t want you to go,” he said. “Stay.” He kissed her lips, which were swollen from his other kisses. Her hair was a little rumpled, her usually neat bun loose.
“Lady Julia will wonder where I’ve been,” she said, but she didn’t move away. He pulled her in close, his arms around her waist. Aaron kissed her again. Their eyes met as they both pulled away.
He felt frozen in place. They couldn’t go back, yet she couldn’t stay. Anyone might find them here. He knew that he should worry. But he wanted more time. He wanted her.
In order to have her, he needed to let her go now.
Aaron lifted her hand to his lips, planting one last kiss on her knuckles. She smiled, her green eyes filling with sorrow. Then, she turned away from him, toward the house.
He watched as Eleanor walked away. His heart felt like it was soaring. She had said that she loved him. And then, they had spent a long hour together in the millhouse.
He almost called her back to him. He hungered for her. His skin heated pleasantly as his arousal was awoken again. Aaron jumped when he heard the sound of a footstep, behind him. He turned, to find his brother coming around the side of the barn. Immediately, Aaron knew that he had heard and seen enough to know what had transpired.
Jack looked at him, askance. “Why are you meeting with Lady Julia’s lady’s maid?”
“Hm?” Aaron asked, hoping that Jack hadn’t seen them leaving the millhouse together. Or saying goodbye. Perhaps, he had only just arrived—
“I saw you kissing her, Aaron. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d never have believed it.”
Aaron sighed. He couldn’t get around it. “I love her, Jack,” he said. “In all my life, I’ve never been so understood as I am by Eleanor. She’s a ray of sunlight in an otherwise darkened world. I don’t know how I’m going to be with her, but I will find a way because I cannot live without her.”
“That makes things complicated,” Jack commented. His face was grim.
“It does, indeed.” His heart was racing. “Can I trust you, Brother? I have yet to figure out how”
Jack smiled. “Of course. Does Arthur know?”
“Of course.”
“Well, then we shall keep your secret.”
“Louisa cannot know.”
Jack laughed, shaking his head. “No, she cannot. She would use it against you.”
Aaron swallowed. That was even more forbidding than he’d ever thought.
“Rest assured, your secret is safe with me.”
Aaron smiled. He should have known that he could trust his younger brother. Perhaps he wasn’t as much Louisa’s creature as Aaron had thought.
“I know how much you want to be free of her.”
“That I do. She talks to me of destiny. I know which way my path lies. I do not need my Mother to tell me.”
Aaron nodded. “I’m proud of you.”
“At least someone is.”
Jack and Aaron began to walk back toward the house. As they entered, Mr. Stanley came out.
“I was looking for you, Your Grace,” Stanley said. “A message has arrived by courier from London.” He held out the silver tray. On top of it, there was a letter, addressed to Aaron in his solicitor’s hand.
“Excuse me,” Aaron said, taking it. “It’s probably nothing.”
Jack bowed to him. Aaron entered the house, heading for his study. He had already received word on how the estate’s accounts were going. Which meant that this was not an ordinary message.
Lady Julia walked downstairs, on her way to the parlor. The Dowager Duchess had sent word up that she was planning on going for a turn about the gardens, if Julia and the Countess were interested in joining her.
“Where is your Mother?” the Dowager Duchess asked her. She was sitting on the settee, her bonnet in her hand.
“Writing a letter to my Father,” Lady Julia said. “She sends her regrets, Your Grace.”
“Of course. No doubt, he wonders how the plans for your marriage are coming,” she commented.
For a brief moment, Julia felt as though she was falling. There was a ringing in her ears. The idea of marrying Jack’s older brother was, for the very first time, a grim disappointment.
“Come. Let’s you and I go for a walk, shall we?” the Dowager Duchess said, giving her a sympathetic smile, as if she could read Julia’s mind.
The Dowager Duchess took Julia’s arm, tucking it into her own. Together, they left the house, and began to stroll along the garden path.
“I am renowned for my ability to see things as they are,” the Dowager Duchess remarked.
“Really, Your Grace?” Julia murmured. I wonder what she believes she sees,
she thought.
“Indeed,” she said. “I can see the spark between you and my son.”
“The Duke?” Julia wondered what her reaction should be, if the Dowager Duchess confirmed this.
“You and I both know of whom I speak.” The Dowager Duchess widened her eyes.
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