by Claire Raye
“How…” I start, the word a stuttered mess, incoherent and unable to fully express what I need to say. “This can’t…”
“Fuck, Ruby. He’s suing for over two million dollars. We don’t have two million dollars.” Her head falls into her hands, her body now wracked with sobs and as much as I want to console her, this isn’t about her. It’s about Caleb and I’ve left him to deal with this on his own.
“Call Reid and tell him what’s happened,” I instruct, even though he’s off with some of his football buddies. It doesn’t matter though.
I take the papers and the envelope from her hand and walk to the bedroom where Caleb has sought solace. There’s no way it’s worked given this news. I can only imagine what he’s feeling right now. He was served at work, embarrassed and panicked. He may have even had a panic attack without anyone there to help him through it.
I knock on the door softly, not wanting to just barge in and startle him, but he doesn’t answer. I can’t walk away and act like he didn’t storm into the house with something that could possibly break him.
“Caleb,” I call, knocking again. “I’m coming in.”
His back is to the door; he’s looking out the window and still hasn’t acknowledged me. I’m sure his thoughts are a mess right now, jumbled and overworked, wondering just when any of this will end.
“Are you okay?” I ask, realizing how stupid the words sound as they leave my mouth.
“No, Ruby, I’m not fucking okay,” he hisses, the harshness biting at my skin, but reminding me he’s not angry with me. I’m the one who’s here, the one who’s stayed and the one who will continue to stay.
For every challenge he’s been met with, he’s been left alone to deal with it. He has no idea how to include me other than pushing me away.
I rest my head against his back, my arms circling his waist, but I say nothing more. I wait for him to talk. I wait for him to realize I’m not leaving. I wait for him to know he needs me, that we need each other.
He doesn’t turn in my arms or touch me, but he hasn’t pulled away as he begins to speak.
“They served me at work, Ruby. At my fucking job because it’s like they knew it would be the one place they could catch me off guard.”
I’ve learned not to respond when he starts talking. It slows the process and he tends to shut down so I just let him speak, a stream of consciousness falling from his mouth in admissions and embarrassment.
“The fucking guy sat at the bar and talked to me for over an hour like he was just waiting for the moment to verify who I was. And then he just dumped the fucking papers and spewed his spiel in front of all the customers, in front of Adam and one of the waitresses.” His body goes rigid and his breathing becomes hard and ragged. “I’m going to lose my fucking job, Ruby.”
“You’re not,” I whisper, words of encouragement that are lost in the rage that fills the room.
“I am and I’m going to lose everything because of this.”
“Have you called Ed?” I ask, feeling like this would be the first call he’d make, but knowing it isn’t.
“No, Ruby, I haven’t called Ed,” he responds, bitterly, the condescending repetition making me aware he’s bothered by me trying to help.
“I think you need to. As much as you’re pissed off right now and you’re going to snap at me and take this out on me, I’m still going to be here telling you to call your lawyer. He’ll know what to do.”
He finally turns in my arms, facing me now, but not looking at me. He rests his cheek on top of my head, letting out a hard sigh.
“You are hard to like sometimes,” he deadpans, and my mouth quirks up in a simple smile.
“Like you’re so easy to like.”
“I love you and I’m sorry,” he now says. “I feel like this is some shitty cycle we’re in where I’m a dick and then I apologize and you’re just okay with it.”
“It’s not a cycle. It’s part of all of this and eventually it won’t happen anymore when you work with your therapist and learn how to deal with your feelings.”
“Speaking of, she should probably be my next call after Ed.”
Just hearing him say he’s going to call his therapist is a huge step in the right direction. Even just a week ago it would’ve been an argument and he would’ve avoided the conversation. Something is changing, something is happening to push him to make these choices.
I just hope it’s not only because of me. I hope he’s doing this for himself, too.
Chapter Eighteen
Caleb
It feels like I’m a fucking punch bag at this point. Just when I think I’m finally getting a tiny bit of my shit together, taking one small step toward normalcy, something comes along and punches me hard in the gut.
Ruby’s arms squeeze around me and as much as I wish I could hide all of this from her, because honestly, it’s fucking embarrassing everything that’s happening, I know I can’t. And truth be told, I need her. Badly.
“We’ll get through this,” she says, her cheek resting against my chest.
I exhale. “Doesn’t feel like it.”
Ruby pulls back and looks up at me. “Call Ed,” she says, her words matter of fact. “He’ll know what to do.”
Exhaling, I pull my phone from my pocket as Ruby watches me, scrolling through until I find his number. “Stay?” I ask, as I hit the redial button.
Ruby nods and takes my hand in hers as I lift my phone to my ear.
“Caleb, hi,” Ed says as soon as he picks up. “I was just about to call you.”
“So you know?” I ask.
I hear Ed exhale down the line. “About the civil action, yes,” he says. “But I have more news.”
“Fuck,” I breathe out, my eyes closing.
“No, it’s good,” he says, my eyes immediately flicking open at his words. “Do you want to come in and see me?”
What the fuck could it be? How in the face of all of this could there possibly be any good news? “Can you tell me over the phone?” I ask, my words hesitant. It feels way too premature to get excited, especially after what happened today.
“I think you should come in,” Ed says. “We need to talk about this latest development anyway and I also have some things for you to sign.”
My stomach sinks, knowing regardless of whatever he has to tell me, no matter how good he thinks it is, it’s never going to erase everything. “Okay, sure,” I say, my words flat, resigned to the idea that none of this is even close to being over. “Is it okay if Ruby comes?” I ask, her hand still in mine as she stands silently watching me.
Our eyes meet at my question and she gives me a small smile, her eyes softening as though my request has somehow made her happy.
“Of course,” Ed says. “See you in half an hour?”
“We’ll be there.”
After I hang up, Ruby pulls me into her arms again, burying her face against my chest. I know she’s only heard half of the conversation and I’m sure she thinks we are going in to see Ed to discuss this latest development. I need to tell her, but right now, I just want to hold her for a minute. Bury my face in her neck and inhale her scent, one of the few things that manages to calm me.
“Ed has good news,” I eventually mumble, my mouth against her skin.
Ruby pulls back, her eyes wide. “What?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. That’s part of why he wants me to come in.”
“Well, shit,” she says, a smile on her face as she squeezes me. “Let’s go!”
I actually laugh, the sound falling from my mouth before I have a chance to stop it. I don’t even know why she’s excited or if we even have a reason to be excited. God knows after today it doesn’t feel like it.
I’m being sued for two million dollars, for fuck’s sake. Where the fuck am I going to get that kind of money from? But almost as soon as I think it, I hear a door slam and my name yelled out in an all too familiar voice.
“Caleb!”
I actually roll my eye
s, even as Ruby smirks and swats at my chest. “Come on, let’s go face the music,” she says, before pushing up to kiss me.
We walk out of her room and into the kitchen where Reid is pacing, a murderous look on his face as Sienna leans back against the counter, her arms crossed over her chest and a worried look on her face. As soon as Reid sees us, he stops, his hands on his head.
“Two fucking million?” he shouts. “I mean for fuck’s sake, the guy is a dirty fucking perv and he has the nerve to sue you! Jesus Christ.”
“Reid,” I say, stopping in front of him. “It’s okay. I’ll—”
“We’ll use my trust fund,” he says, cutting me off as he resumes his pacing. “It’s not enough, but surely this is negotiable. I mean, we can’t just accept this. We can’t—”
“Reid,” I say again, my voice louder this time.
He stops, turning to look at me as he drops his hands to his side. “What?”
I offer a smile. “I’m not using your trust fund.”
“Yeah, you—”
“No, I’m not, so shut the hell up,” I say, still smiling so he knows I don’t mean it harshly. “This isn’t your responsibility, okay. I need to take care of this myself.”
“Bullshit,” he spits out, stepping toward me. “We’re family, Caleb and family always look out for each other.”
I smile, glancing past him at my sister, who’s watching both of us, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I know,” I say, looking back at him. “I know we are, and I know we do, but I can’t ask you to do this.”
Reid is shaking his head before I’ve even finished speaking. “You’re not asking me to do anything.”
“I know, but I also know how stubborn you are. It’s why you and her are such a good match,” I say, raising a brow at my sister over his shoulder.
Sie smirks at me as she steps forward now, wrapping her arms around Reid from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Let us help,” she whispers.
“You already are,” I tell them. “Really.”
“We’re going to see Ed,” Ruby says, stepping forward, her arm slipping around my waist. “He says he has good news.”
“Wait, what?” Reid says, his gaze snapping to mine.
I shrug. “Don’t know,” I admit. “I mean it can’t be great given what happened today, but yeah that’s what he said.”
“Well, fuck, go,” Reid says urgently as he pushes me toward the door. “Go and find out and call us as soon as you know.”
I let out a laugh, my hand on his arm as I look back at my best friend and my sister. “Thank you,” I tell them both, before turning and walking outside with Ruby.
We drive in silence over to Ed’s office, almost as though neither of us quite knows what to say given everything that’s happened today. It’s hard to reconcile the idea of good news given I’ve just been served papers suing me for two million dollars and I can already feel the anxiety building.
“Let’s just wait and see what he says first,” Ruby says, reading my mind as her hand slides onto my thigh.
I turn to look at her, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on me, and I can’t help but smile. “Thank you, Ruby,” I say, unable to look away from her.
She glances quickly at me before turning back to the road. “For what?”
I lean over and bury my face in the crook of her neck, right where it meets her shoulder. Closing my eyes, I breathe in her scent as it occurs to me that this is my most favorite part of her body. “For everything,” I murmur against her skin.
Ruby’s hand tightens on my thigh before she pulls it away, turning the car into a parking spot outside the building that Ed’s office is in. I reluctantly pull back, taking another deep breath as I try and remind myself to stay calm.
“Come on,” Ruby says, smiling at me. “Let’s do this.”
We’re shown into Ed’s office as soon as we arrive and he walks over, greeting us both with a smile. He gestures to the seats facing his desk and we both sit while he moves back to his chair and slides a file in front of him.
“So, first things first,” he starts, looking up at us, a small smile on his face. I can feel my heart beating a mile a minute inside my chest, my mind racing as I try to imagine what the hell he could possibly say that could make any of this better. “The prosecutor has decided not to pursue the charges.”
“Wait, what?” Ruby says, practically jumping from her chair.
I feel as though I’ve been sucker punched, all of the air leaving my lungs in a hard gasp, my body practically doubling over, even though I’m sitting. My heart beats even harder, thumping out a rapid rhythm against my ribcage, as though it’s trying to break through.
I feel my hands start to shake uncontrollably, my leg bouncing as I close my eyes, forcing myself to take long deep breaths just so I don’t throw up or pass out.
“Caleb, are you okay?” Ed asks as I feel a hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head, which is still hanging between my knees, nausea churning in my stomach. I feel the hand tighten briefly before it disappears. Seconds later, I hear the crack of a plastic lid, the hand returning to my shoulder as a voice says, “Here, have some of this.”
I open my eyes and see the plastic bottle of water held out to me. With a shaking hand I reach for it, swallowing half the bottle in several big gulps. When I eventually look up, Ruby is standing beside me, her hands covering her mouth and tears streaming down her face.
Turning, I see Ed, still standing with his hand on my shoulder.
“Are you serious?” I ask, my voice husky and raw.
“I am,” Ed says, nodding once. “You okay there?”
I shake my head, unable to comprehend what the hell he’s saying to me right now. His smile widens as he gestures to the bottle of water again before walking back around to the other side of his desk and sitting down. Ruby immediately falls into the chair beside me, reaching for my hand, which she grasps tightly in both of hers.
I look up at her, see the smile on her face, the tears still streaming down her cheeks and all I want to do is pull her into my arms and bury my face against her neck again. I can’t fucking believe this is happening.
“Caleb?” Ed says, his tone gentle.
I turn to him, my eyes searching his face for signs of the truth, as though this is all some sick joke he’s playing on me. “Is this really happening?” I ask.
His smile widens. “Yes, the criminal charges won’t be pursued. Given the circumstances and your clean record, the prosecutor recognized this wasn’t worth going to trial over.” He pauses, swallowing hard as he glances quickly at Ruby before turning back to me. “This isn’t without cost though,” he adds, his smile disappearing.
“The civil charge?” I ask, knowing that as good as this is, I’m far from being free of all of this shit.
“That, yes,” he says. “But there are also the conditions.”
“Conditions?” Ruby asks, squeezing my hand in both of hers.
“Yes,” Ed says, steepling his hands in front of him. “Aaron Keller only agreed to this course of action in return for you swearing to an NDA that states you will never talk about what happened that night. Not what you saw or what you did.”
“But—”
“I realize this doesn’t seem fair,” Ed says, cutting me off. “But it means you won’t have a criminal record.”
“In return for him fucking getting away with it,” I shout. “And coming after me in other ways.”
I slump back in my chair, wondering how the fuck I’m supposed to think this is good news. Honestly, I’d rather take my chances in court at this point.
“You’ll also need to agree to counseling,” Ed continues, as though I haven’t even spoken. “Anger management and—”
“So, he just fucking gets away with it?” I ask, shoving a rough hand through my hair. “He’s the asshole who was stalking Ruby, who did that, that…shit outside her window, but I’m the one who pays for it?” My words are like v
enom, spat out as though I can barely hold onto them.
Ed leans forward now, waiting until I look at him, his calm gaze meeting mine. “I know it seems like that, Caleb, but this really is a good outcome for you. You won’t have a criminal record and you won’t be forced to go to court. You can continue to work with Liz. That can be part of the deal. This is a good result.”
I let out a harsh laugh, my eyes flicking to Ruby who sits with a confused and worried look on her face. When I turn back to Ed, I can’t help the sarcastic tone as I say, “Right and the two million dollar law suit, what the fuck am I supposed to do about that then?”
Now it’s Ed leaning back in his seat, that same calm gaze watching me. “He’s not going to get away with that either, Caleb,” he adds in an icy tone before turning to Ruby. “But I am going to need your help for this one.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ruby
I have no idea if people celebrate charges being dropped, but it feels like something that should be recognized. It’s a small step in the right direction even if it was met with the resistance of the civil suit. Ed made it clear though that the suit is baseless and he has a few ideas of how to make it go away. He seemed confident in Caleb not having to find a way to come up with two million dollars and that alone is a huge relief.
“Do you feel better about things?” I ask. Caleb and I are alone at Reid’s old house, utilizing the hot tub for just a couple more days before Reid’s lease is up.
“It’s hard to feel better about any of this, but at least I don’t feel like I’m going to have a panic attack every ten seconds now,” Caleb responds, somewhat bitterly.
“You’ve handled this incredibly well,” I tell him with a proudness that I hope he catches. “Some people self-medicate with alcohol and drugs.”
“Trust me, I fucking want to, but the last thing I ever want to be is my father and by getting shitface drunk regularly, I’d be no different than him.”
