CHAPTER NINE.
_August 16th_.We used to wonder at school sometimes how we should behave if wesuddenly found ourselves in a position of great danger. I always said Ishould scream and hide my face, and faint if I possibly could, but I amthankful to remember that, when it came to the point, I did nothing ofthe sort. My heart gave one big, sickening throb, and then I feltsuddenly quite calm and cold and self-possessed, almost as if I didn'tcare. I went back into my room, put on my dressing-gown and slippers,took up a big brass bell which one of the girls had given me, and,shutting the door carefully behind me, ran along the corridor, ringingit as loudly as I could, and knocking at each door as I passed. Ididn't call out "Fire!"--it was too terrifying; besides, I knew theothers would guess what was wrong as soon as they heard the bell andsmelt the smoke, and, in less than two minutes, every door was open, andthe occupants of the different rooms first peeped and then rushed out onto the landing in dressing-gowns and shawls, and all sorts of quaint-looking wraps. One light was always left burning all night long, so wecould see each other, even when the smoke hid that other horrible luridlight, and it is wonderful how brave we all were on the whole. Mothercame forward wrapped in her long blue gown, and found a chair for MadgeTalbot, who was the only one who showed signs of breaking down, just asquietly and graciously as if she had been entertaining her in thedrawing-room. Father and the men consulted rapidly together, and Vereput her arm round me, and leant on my shoulder. I could feel hertrembling, but she shut her lips tight, and tried hard to smileencouragingly at poor Madge, and all the time the smoke grew thicker,and the horrid crackling louder and nearer.
"The drawing-room!" we heard father say. "The servants have beencareless in putting out the lights, and something has smouldered andfinally caught the curtains--that's the most probable explanation. Ifthat is the case, I fear the back stairs will be impassable; they areeven nearer than these."
He turned and ran quickly down the passage, followed by Captain Grantlyand Mr Nash. Mr Carstairs came and stood by Vere's side, as if hecould not bear to leave her unprotected, and she looked up at him andsmiled a white little smile, as if she were glad to have him there. Amoment later the men came back, and, as father turned and closed theheavy oak door which divided one wing from another, we knew withoutasking that the other staircase was also cut off.
Madge began to sob hysterically, but father stopped her with a wave ofhis hand, and said sharply, addressing us all--
"The back staircase is impracticable, but if we keep our senses, thereis no real danger to fear. I have rung the alarm bell, and the men willsoon be round with ropes and ladders. The best thing you can do is togo back to your rooms, dress rapidly, and collect a few valuables whichcan be lowered from the window. You can have five minutes--no longer.I will ring a bell at the end of that time, and we will all meet in myroom, which is the centre position, and therefore the farthest from thefire. Now, girls, quick! There is no time to lose!"
We ran. Some time--in a long, long time to come--we shall laugh tothink what curious costumes we made! It was just the first thing thatcame to hand. I was decently clothed in two minutes, seized a dressing-bag, put in my pearl necklace, a few odd trinkets, this diary, and theold Bible I have had since I was ten years old, and rushed along tomother's room to see if I could help.
She was putting on a long dark coat, and had a lace scarf tied over herhair. Even then, in the middle of the night, she looked dignified andbeautiful, and her eyes melted in the tender way they have at greatmoments as she saw me.
"Ready, daughter?" she said smiling, and then came up and took me intoher arms. "Good girl! Brave girl! We must help the others, Una. Youand I have no time to be afraid."
"Thank you, mother darling!" I said, gratefully, for I had been, oh,terribly afraid, and it was just the best thing she could have said tocalm me and give me courage; and, while we clung together, father camehurrying in. He hardly seemed to notice me, Babs, his pet daughter!--Helooked only at mother, and spoke to her.
"Are you warm, Carina? Are you suitably dressed? You must have notrain--nothing to make movement difficult. That's all right. Don'ttrust yourself to anyone but me, sweet-heart! I'll come to you in goodtime!"
"Yes, Boy, yes! I'll come with you," said mother softly.
They went out of the room arm-in-arm, never once looking at me. Itseemed as if at the first touch of danger they had gone back to the olddays when they were lovers, and no difference of interest had arisen todraw them apart. It made the tears come to my eyes to see them, and Iwas glad to be forgotten.
The women servants were all awake by now, and, finding their ownstaircase in flames, came swarming down the corridor to escape by themain way; when they found this also was impracticable, they began toshriek and moan, and to implore us to save them, and it was hard work toget them into one room and keep them quiet. The men crowded at thewindow, looking for help, and shouting directions to the coachmen andgardeners when at last they came running towards the house. They flewoff, some to get ropes and ladders, some to alarm the neighbourhood, andbring help from the nearest fire office. It was three miles off, and inthe country firemen are scattered about in outlying cottages, and therewould be all the way to come back. It made one sick to think how longit might be before the engine arrived; and meantime the fire wassteadily spreading on the ground floor. When father bent forward toshout to the men, the light on his face was dreadful to see. I had ahorrible longing to scream, and I think I should have done it if Ihadn't been so occupied with Annie, the kitchen-maid, who was literallyalmost mad with fright. It seemed to soothe her to hold my arm, poorlittle soul. Respect for "the gentry" had been so instilled into herfrom her earliest years that I honestly believe she imagined the veryflames would hesitate to touch the Squire's "darter!"
It seemed ages before William and James came back--without the ladders!They were kept locked up by father's special orders, as so many jewelburglaries had taken place in the neighbourhood, the thieves usingladders to get into a bedroom while dinner was going on downstairs.Now, in the usual contrary way of things, the man who had the key hadridden away, forgetting all about it in his haste to bring help. Fatherstamped with impatience while the men were reporting their failure andasking further instructions. It was getting more and more difficult tohear, with that horrid roar coming up from below, and Mr Carstairs saidsuddenly--
"We can't waste time like this! These men have lost their heads.Grantly, you and I are strongest. We must get down and break in thedoor. Come to the back of the house; there must surely be some way ofdropping down on an out-house."
"The blue room--over the larder. It's a deep drop, but safe enough forfellows like you. I'll show you!" cried father promptly, and led theway forward. It was no time to protest or to make polite speeches.Something had to be done, and done at once. I watched them go andenvied them. It's hardest of all to be a woman and have to wait. Iwould rather a hundred times have faced that drop than have sat in thatroom listening to the noise, seeing Vere growing whiter and whiter, andmother's face grow old and lined. If the worst came to the worst, Iwould go and sit beside them, but for the present I held Annie's handand stroked it, and wondered if it could be true that life was reallygoing to end like this. Only nineteen, and just home from school--itseemed so young to die! I remembered Will, and wondered if he would besorry, and if he and Rachel would talk of me when they were married.Then I forgot everything, and lust shut my eyes and prayed, prayed,prayed.
A great shout of relief and joy! Father and Mr Nash were leaning outof the window waving their hands to the other men, who were carrying theladders across the lawn. We all sobbed with relief, for it seemed as ifescape must be easy now, but the ladders were not long enough, they hadto be tied together, and by this time the flames were leaping out of thewindow below; we could see the light dancing up and down, and it seemeda dreadful prospect to have to pass them on an open ladder. I
looked atmother--mother who never walked a step outside the grounds, who waswaited upon hand and foot, and spent half her time lying on the sofa.It seemed impossible that she could attempt such a feat!
The moment the ladder was fixed father turned round and called to us tocome forward, but we all hung back silent and trembling. Then hestamped his foot, and his eyes flashed.
"Are you going to turn cowards and risk other lives besides your own?There is not a moment to lose. Every moment will make it moreformidable. Mary, you are a brave girl! Will you lead the way?"
She walked forward without a word. I did admire her! Father lifted herup; a pair of arms were thrust out to receive her from the midst of theclouds of smoke. We all held our breath for what seemed an age, but wasonly a few minutes, I suppose, and then came another cheer, and we knewshe was safe. The servants rushed forward at that, but when they lookeddown and saw the flames licking the very side of the ladder, theyshrieked again and fell back; so Madge went next, and then father walkedup to mother and took her by the hand. She looked up at him and shookher head.
"Not yet, dear, not yet. The girls first!" she said, but he wouldn'tlisten to that.
"The girls wouldn't go before you. You can't stand this any longer. Iam going to carry you down and come back for them. Come, sweetheart!"
She rose then without a word, and we saw him lift her in one arm like ababy and let himself down slowly, slowly with the other hand.
Oh, the awfulness of that moment when they both disappeared and we wereleft alone! With father gone it seemed as if there were no one left tokeep order or inspire us with any show of courage. I think we all wentmad or something like it, and, before we knew what was happening, one ofthe servants had opened the door and flown shrieking along the passage.Another great gust of smoke rushed into the room; we could hardly seeeach other; we were all rushing about, jostling together, fighting likewild things for air and freedom.
"Vere, Vere!" I shouted, and she clutched at my arm, and we rantogether down the corridor, to the head of the servants' stairs, backagain faster than ever into the blue room where the men had letthemselves down to the roof of the larder. There seemed just a chancethat we might be able to do the same. It was the only chance I couldthink of, and Vere was clinging to me, begging me to save her, and notlet her be burnt.
"I can't die, Babs--I can't! I've never thought of it. I'm frightened!Oh, Babs, Babs, think of something--think of a way--Save me! Save me!"
"I'll try, Vere, but you must help, you must be quiet! The heat is notso bad here, and if we get on the roof and call, someone may hear us.They will come to look if they find we have gone. Oh, we should neverhave left that room! Father trusted us to wait for him, but it is toolate now... Look, here's a sheet: we must tear it into strips and makea rope. It will be easier that way."
But when they tell you in books to make ropes of sheets, they forgetthat it's almost impossible to tear strong new sheets, and that onecannot always find scissors in a strange room in the middle of thenight. In the end, we could only knot the two together, and tie one endto the rail of the washstand. It was not long enough then, but Iscrambled out and let myself down to the end, and then dropped, and bygood providence managed to steady myself on the roof beneath. It wasnot so very sloping as roofs go, and the gutter was deep, and made akind of little wall round the edge. I called to Vere to follow, andpromised to catch her, but it took, oh, ages of coaxing and scoldingbefore she would venture, and it was only by a miracle that we didn'tboth fall to the ground, for she let go so suddenly and clutched at mein such frantic terror when I stretched up to catch her. We didn'tfall, however, but cowered down together on the roof with our feet fixedfirmly against the projecting gutter, and I, for one, felt in a worseposition than ever. We were still too far from the ground to jump downwithout hurting ourselves on the hard paving stones, and no one was insight, no one heard our calls for help. To make things worse, ingetting nearer the ground we had come nearer to the fire itself, forsome of the windows on the ground floor had fallen in, and it was justlike looking into the heart of a furnace. There is nothing more awfulthan the speed with which fire travels. One feels so utterly helplessbefore it. The tiles on which we sat were hot. I don't know if it wasfancy, but every now and then I seemed to feel a movement beneath us asif something might give way. I think now that it really wasnervousness, for the roof was left practically unhurt, but at the timeanything seemed possible, and I was terrified. We called and calledagain, but no one came, and it seemed as if hours passed by, and thefire came creeping nearer and nearer. Sometimes Vere would be franticwith excitement; sometimes she would cover her face with her hands andmoan; sometimes she would be on the brink of fainting. I began to seethat if something was not done at once she would faint, and then wewould probably both fall to the ground together and be killed outright.Something had to be done, and I had to do it. I went creepy cold alldown my spine, for I knew what it was I had to do, and was in mortalterror of facing it.
Somehow or other, if Vere were to be saved in time, I must get up frommy cramped seat, lower myself over the edge of the roof, hang at fulllength from the coping and drop on to the flags beneath. The men haddone it, but they were men, and it was a big drop even for them, andthey haven't got nerves like girls, or skirts, or slippers with heels.I was frightened out of my wits, but I knew that every moment I thoughtabout it I should be more frightened still, so I just told Vere what Iwas going to do--and did it!
I can't write about it; it makes me feel queer even now! The awfulmoment when you get over and swing into space; and the feeling that youmust look down, the ache in your hands as you cling on, and the terrorof leaving go! Mental pain is worse than physical, so it was really arelief to reach the ground, even though one foot did go over, and a painlike a red-hot poker shot up the leg. I thought I had broken the footto pieces, but it was only the ankle that was sprained, and I could limpalong, in a fashion, though so slowly that it took ages to get round tothe front of the house. At another time I suppose I should have satstill and howled; but you don't think of pain when it is a case of lifeand death, and I knew there was no time to spare.
It could not really have been very long since we left father's room, butalready the scene was quite changed. The alarm bell had roused theneighbourhood, and there was quite a little crowd on the lawn. I saw ata glance how it was that we had not been missed. The servants hadrushed upstairs to the third storey, and were grouped together at awindow there screaming and calling for help, while the poor men workedhard at lengthening the ladders. At a distance, and through the cloudsof smoke, it was impossible to distinguish one figure from another, andeveryone had taken for granted that we were there with the rest. Nobodynoticed me hobbling forward till I got close up to the workers, and sawa well-known grey figure busy with the ropes. I pulled at his arm, andhe lifted a white face, then leapt to his feet and seized me by bothhands.
"You, Una! Here! Thank God! How is it possible? Which way did youcome?"
"Out of a window--but, oh, don't talk--you must save Vere first! Roundat the back--now--at once! I'll show you the way, but I can't walk, myfoot is hurt--"
I felt as if I could not keep up a moment longer, but Will picked me upin his arms as if I had been a baby, and said soothingly--
"There! Now think quietly for one moment, and tell me what we shallwant! Where is she--high up? Shall I get some of these men to help."
"She's on an outhouse roof. I dropped down, but it hurt me, you see,and Vere daren't attempt it. A ladder would do, just one ladder.There's Mr Carstairs--he'll come! I'll tell him where to go."
I did tell him, and the poor fellow's face of mingled rapture and fearwas touching to see; then Will went on in front, still carrying me inhis arms, while the others followed with ladders and sheets and allkinds of things that might be needed. I was moaning to myself all thetime, and Will put down his head and said tenderly--
"Does it hurt so much, poor little gi
rl?"
But it was my heart which hurt; I was so terrified of what we were goingto find.
She was still there. I lifted my head as we came round the corner ofthe house, and I could see her. She was not sitting as when I had left,but half standing, half crouching forward, her hands stretched out, herhair loose over her shoulders. She looked like a mad woman; she _was_mad, poor Vere, and the sight of us in the distance seemed to excite hermore than ever. We called to her; we begged her to be calm, to sitstill for one moment--just one moment longer. The men ran forward toreassure her, but she didn't understand--she seemed past understanding.Just as help was within reach she threw out her arms with a dreadful cryand jumped, and her foot caught in the coping as she fell. Oh, I can'twrite about it! I must forget, or I shall go mad myself!...
The Heart of Una Sackville Page 9
