Love and Decay, Episode Seven

by Rachel Higginson

  “Please,” I begged him. I just needed confirmation.

  He shook his head, already devastated. “I can’t make myself look.”

  Hendrix’s fear was what pulled me back to myself and pushed me into action. I could lose it by myself, but I wasn’t by myself. I had other people to take care of. I had other people that cared for me.

  I crawled to standing and walked over to Vaughan. I understood immediately why Hendrix was more frightened to look for a bite mark on my skin than anything he had previously faced.

  But only because I would have had the exact same reaction to him if our situations were flipped.

  “Look, Vaughan,” I ordered. “You do it. Am I dead?”

  Vaughan’s terrified gaze flickered down to his distraught brother and then back to me. I watched as he steeled himself with determination. His eyes grew hard with resolve and he nodded once. He whipped off his t-shirt and wiped at my face- careful to keep all fluids away from my eyes, nose or mouth- and neck. He used every space of clean-ish cotton to get the worst of the blood away and then he pushed my sodden hair out of the way. His eyes scrutinized every inch of my face and then neck, the back of my head; and then he looked over my arms and torso for holes in the fabric of my clothes.

  Finally, his gaze came back to mine and held me there in his infinite, ice-blue gaze. “No bite marks,” he breathed and I collapsed into him in relief.

  Hendrix was off the floor in a minute, yanking me from his brother and pulling me back into his own arms. He whispered all kinds of promises, thanks and curses in my ear but I heard none of them. All I felt was the sweet relief of surviving yet another encounter with Feeders- this one my closest call yet.

  My heart still hammered out a frantic beat and my blood was still rushing loudly in my ears, but I was alive. Hendrix was alive. Vaughan was alive.

  “I’m going to check on everyone else,” Vaughan announced. “It sounds like that was the last of them. Are you two alright?”

  Hendrix nodded. “We’re alright.”

  “I’m giving us fifteen minutes to get as much as we can carry and then we’re gone.” Vaughan looked up at the skylights and cursed at the fading sun. “We’ll go back to the gift shop tonight and then head out in the morning. I’ll holler if anyone is hurt or bitten.”

  Hendrix nodded and then pulled me into him again. His arms were a cage around my body and I felt his heart as it pounded heavily in his own chest. He just held me there, as tightly as he could, as close as he could get me.

  “Reagan,” he finally breathed into the curve of my neck. He was a man more distressed than I thought possible.

  “I’m alright,” I promised him. “I’m Ok.”

  He let out a burst of humorless laughter. “But I don’t if I am,” he growled glibly. “Those were the worst moments of my life. I couldn’t get to you. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get to you. You just- you have no idea what that-“

  “Hey,” I struggled to pull back in the prison of his arms. I managed a little wiggle room and placed a gentle hand on the curve of his jaw. The short hairs of his dark blonde beard tickled the pads of my fingers and it was such a foreign sensation to the massacre I had just lived through. “I’m here, I’m alright.”

  His eyes pinned me in place with his dark blue gaze- maybe more than pinned, maybe held me in place, nailed my feet to the floor, to this place with him. “I almost lost you.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “But I didn’t.” Finally his gaze softened just a tiny bit and then he dropped his forehead to mine. “I can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t.” I didn’t know if I believed that promise, but as long as I could do everything in my power to keep it I would.

  He let out a soul-deep sigh and then gave me a few more inches to breathe. “You’re not on watch tonight.”

  I knew better than to argue with him. He was absolutely serious and nothing would change his mind.

  “I’m not?” I squeaked.

  “You’re mine,” he dictated. “Tonight, you’re mine.”

  A new kind of fear blossomed in my chest and spread out like a dangerous heat to every one of my fingers and toes. He took in my expression and a small, almost obsolete smile tilted the corners of his lips.

  “Not like that.” He laid a gentle, shaking kiss on my forehead. “I just want to hold you, for the whole night. I think I deserve it after what I just went through.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he interrupted, “And I think you deserve the entire night off after what you just went through.”

  I frowned but couldn’t find a reason to disagree with him.

  “It’s not up for discussion so stop trying to come up with a counter argument,” he laughed lightly at me. “I get tonight. Tomorrow you can go back to being the good little soldier.”

  “Tonight’s important to you?” He softened me up with his sweet words and I was his prisoner again.

  “This world is determined to take you away from me and it’s only making me more determined to keep you.” he smiled self-depreciatingly and then whispered, “And if it’s not Zombies, then you’re trying to run from this. I want just one night without needing to come up with a game plan to keep you.”

  Oh.

  “Hendrix, I-“

  He silenced me with a chaste kiss on the lips. We weren’t exactly clean enough to be exchanging any more bodily fluids than that. “We need to stock up. You’re never going anywhere unarmed again. You can count on that.”

  “I want to count on that,” I sighed, thankful for the easier banter now.

  “I will say this though,” he chuckled. “I am very impressed. I mean, I’m also pissed, traumatized and feel like I just had a heart attack, but in there somewhere is a lot of awe and hero-worship.”

  I looked up at him, feeling the betrayal of tears wet my eyes again. “Are you kidding? You saved my life at least a hundred times today. I wouldn’t be here without you. And Vaughan.” I added Vaughan because it was true and Hendrix didn’t seem to mind.

  “Don’t sell yourself short, Reagan. What you did was incredible. I hate that you had to do it- more than I think is even possible to hate something. But you kicked ass today.”

  I kept silent because, really, I couldn’t think of anything to say. I was a little bit stunned by his compliment. To me it just felt like necessity, but I understood how he was looking at me, because I saw him the same way. He was this super-hero, this action figure I wanted to film and make major motion pictures out of. He was more than human, he was more than a soldier, he was more than a survivor.

  So much more.

  And I was so thankful for him and his family.

  And for this life we’d made, even if it did threaten mine occasionally.

  We started gathering guns and ammo then. The store was relatively quiet all though there was the sound of a distant Zombie moaning until a gun would go off or something solid would swing down and crush skull. But for the most part we had the warehouse to ourselves.

  I walked around with Hendrix until our bags, pockets and hands were full of weaponry. We each picked up several bows too with hundreds of arrows. I didn’t think any of us knew how to shoot one, but they seemed handy and we could learn.

  Also, they seemed a bit Hunger Game-ish which only made me feel that much more like a badass.

  We joined everyone back up front and smiled when they were as equally as weighed down as we were.

  I met Haley’s eyes and we dropped our loot and flew into a crushing hug. She started crying again and I started crying again and we were a mess of tears and snot all at once.

  “I didn’t know…” she whispered into my hair. “I mean, Vaughan told me you were fine and I believed him. But seeing you…. I just… things got scary, babe.” She was shaking in my arms and I realized that I was also a trembling mess of emotions.

  I sucked in my snot and sobbed, “I heard you scream. I had no idea what was happening. I just…. I hate this.”

  “Me to
o,” she cried. “Me too, I hate this so much.”

  We held each other for as long as we could until the boys were making fun of us and reminding us we weren’t safe yet- we still had to get back to the gift shop. We eventually stepped apart and tried to pull ourselves together. I let my eyes track to everyone in our group, mentally assessing them and making sure they were alright.

  Page smiled up at me, relief and admiration so clear in her big blue eyes I almost started crying again. She slipped her hand into mine and then I lost the battle as more tears fell down my face.

  “It’s not over,” Vaughan called from the doorway where he was scouting out the parking lot. “We drew some attention.”

  We all walked carefully over to the broken glass doors and noticed the line of fifty more Feeders loping at a decent pace toward us.

  There was panic low in my belly, but there was also hope this time.

  We had weapons this time.

  All of us- except Tyler and Page- moved into action at once. The clicking of clips pushing into place, safety’s being flicked off and zippers being tugged close so we wouldn’t lose any of the treasure we worked so hard for could be heard over everything.

  Vaughan waited with measured patience until he determined that we were as ready as we could be. And then he went back into super-commando mode, “Haley and Reagan stay on the inside and close to Tyler and Page. Get them in the van first. The rest of you circle around them. Shoot to kill. Don’t waste anything. The point is to get to the van. They don’t all have to die in order to do that. Just hold them back.”

  And with those instructions, we moved into place. Vaughan let out his signature steadying breath and then held up his fingers in a one-two-three motion and we were on the move. The boys started shooting immediately. The formed a V around us and were so steady and sure with each thought I didn’t even bother with feeling anxious.

  When the Parkers united- with the help of Miller this time- there was literally nothing that could stop them. I truly believe that. They shot with precision and accuracy and the sound of dropping, screeching Zombies could be heard all over the parking lot.

  We climbed over the line of totaled cars and moved as fast as we could. Eventually the van came into sight. Gun shots continued to ring in the early evening and I was positive I would have to smell this kind of death until I myself died.

  It was sickening.

  Eventually we made it to the van and the boys spread out around it to provide cover for the girls. Haley and I got Page and Tyler into the van without ever firing our guns and then we followed them, keeping our heads down. Harrison, Miller and King were next, followed by Nelson. The side door was shut and then Vaughan and Hendrix simultaneously hopped into their respective seats. In another moment Vaughan had the van started and the engine gunning.

  Hendrix rolled down his window- the only window that would go all the way down other than Vaughan’s and swung out the side until he was sitting on the ledge. He aimed his gun over the top of the car and hooked his feet under the side of his seat and dash in order to steady himself. He shot at anything in our path and cleared the way for us. The van sped out of the parking lot, running over Zombie road kill as we went. In the back, we bounced around in our seats as the van ran over dead bodies, but we held on and wisely refrained from complaining.

  Back on the road, Hendrix crawled back to his seat and rolled up the window. The sun was setting in the west which did not bode well for us, but Vaughan knew the way back and it took half the time to cross the distance as it had this morning.

  We formed the same kind of circle but made it back into the gift shop without incident. We fanned out immediately to check each inch of space in our boarded up safe haven and then met back in the conference rooms with mimicking looks of shocked relief plastered on our faces.

  Nobody said anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Somehow “just another day at the office,” didn’t exactly cut it.

  Because that wasn’t another day at the office. That was trauma outside of our normal circle of hell. That was the kind of day I never wanted to experience again.

  “Girls, clean up first,” Vaughan ordered. “Especially you, Reagan.”

  I just obeyed. My brain wasn’t functioning enough to complain or object. I walked into the one room bathroom with Haley, Tyler and Page and got to work.

  I tried not to draw a comparison between girls’ night tonight and what it was like last night with our lighthearted fun conversation and pedicures. It was amazing the difference a day made- and in this scenario not in a good way.

  I stripped and threw my clothes into the trash can and then dutifully and thoroughly cleaned up sponge-bath style. I enlisted Tyler and Haley to help me wash out my hair with bottles of water that were regretfully running low and then we took turns. I needed to see if I could find some dry shampoo at the next CVS we passed. It probably wouldn’t help to get Zombie goo out, but it would work in the in between bathing periods instead of wasting all our clean water.

  We worked quietly, efficiently and gently but we were all raw with left over fear and distress. Tyler was especially quiet. And it wasn’t the lost in thought kind of way. She actually concerned me.

  “Are you Ok?” I asked her when I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  Page had already finished and gone back out to her brothers. She was as always completely resilient and had bounced back to her sweet self before we were even back to the gift shop. That poor child, I didn’t even want to think about what her mental stability was like for her to rebound like that.

  Tyler shook her head and then dissolved into tears. She slunk down to the bathroom floor in just her undies and bra and pulled her knees up to her chest. She buried her face in her arms and her whole body was racked with sobs.

  Since Haley and I had already been through this, we just sank down with her- one on each side- and put our arms around her. Each of us laid our heads on her back and just let her cry it out. Haley murmured soothing promises, but these were tears each of understood so we just let them happen.

  It was useless to tell her it would be Ok, because it wouldn’t be.

  And it was pointless to make promises to her about safety and her life- because we had no proof of that either.

  “Do you regret leaving with us?” I finally asked the question that had been burning in my throat since the first day she was with us.

  She shook her head and finally looked up. “No,” she whispered through snot, tears and a thick throat. “I really don’t. No matter where I go, I’ll be stuck in hell. I just didn’t think…. I didn’t know I would be so afraid-“

  “That’s normal,” Haley rushed to reassure her.

  “No,” Tyler shook her head. “I didn’t know I would be so afraid for y’all. I thought I just had myself and Miller to worry about. But today…. today I nearly died with worry for you and those stupid boys.”

  For some reason I found that very funny. I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I had to drop my head and I couldn’t look at either of them. Eventually they started laughing too and I knew it was just a release of our adrenaline and stress, but that was honestly the funniest thing I had ever heard.

  “Believe me,” I gasped through my laughter. “I know exactly what you mean!”

  “Sneaky bastards,” Tyler grumbled and we started laughing all over again.

  “I think that’s normal too,” Haley sighed. “At least when it comes to them. I don’t know how they do it. It’s like one moment they’re bossing you around and you literally can’t stand them and then you find yourself weeping hysterically just because something could have happened to them.”

  “It honestly defies logic,” Tyler agreed.

  We sat like that for a few more moments, tightly wrapped up in each other. Finally Tyler said, “I’ll be alright now. Y’all can go out to your men. I know they’re dying to hold you.”

  We obeyed, just as anxious to get to them. I gave her another reassuring arm squeeze and then finished ge
tting dressed in clean clothes- well blood free clothes. I pulled my long hair into a braid over my shoulder and felt very Lara Croft in my black cargo pants and long sleeved gray tee. Haley was wearing a similar outfit with khaki cargos that were a little tight over her muscled ass that used to be tiny back when cheerleading was her our only forced cardio. We left Tyler alone to finish getting dressed and slipped back out into the hall.

  Hendrix was there to greet me with a clean face. I hadn’t walked two steps before he pushed me against the wall and taken my lips in a searing, soul-shattering kiss.

  He was right. As much as I wanted to fight him. I was his.

  And he was making that abundantly clear today.

  “Go eat dinner,” he growled against my lips. “I’m going to clean up and then I want you in my arms for the next eight hours.” He pulled back a little and devastated me with a lop-sided grin. “No arguing.”

  “I wasn’t going to,” I answered breathlessly.

  He smiled a real, genuine, full-teethed grin then and kissed me on the forehead. While he waited his turn to clean up I obeyed his instructions and joined Haley, Page and the younger boys for a dinner of more of those gourmet chocolates, canned artichoke hearts and baby corn.

  Obviously not an ideal dinner, but we were clearly down to the last of our rations.

  I didn’t mind the canned veggies, but Page had a hard time choking them down. This was worse than tuna for her. I handed over my chocolate and told her how proud I was that she ate as much as she did.

  That little girl was a trooper.

  I tried not to make anything of it when Miller also handed over his chocolate to her. He had taken a special interest in protecting her lately. Since she was eight I was going with the whole, he was looking up to the Parkers as role models and they treated this little girl like royalty so he was copying them.

  I shared a look with Haley and when she shrugged me off I knew I was being over protective.

  Apparently the brothers weren’t the only ones blinded by overbearing instincts when it came to her.