by Pu Songling
That night, Sun’s mother strongly encouraged her son to return to his bedroom to sleep. She had an old lady go to eavesdrop on the couple. As the second watch was almost over, she heard the wife cry out Sun’s name, and Sun didn’t reply. After a little while, the wife again said something, and Sun made a disgusted sound with his lips.
When it began to get light outside, Sun’s mother entered their room, and saw the couple’s heads facing away from each other, so she knew that the nun’s magic had failed. She called out to her son since there was no one else around, and confessed to him what had been done. When Sun heard his mother mention his wife’s name, he grew angry and began gnashing his teeth. His mother cursed back at him furiously, without looking at him, and left the room.
The next day, the old nun arrived, and was told that her solution had been useless. This made the nun very suspicious. The old lady then related to her what she’d heard while eavesdropping.
The nun laughed and said, “At first the wife told her husband that she detested him, which inclined him to respond in disgust. Now the wife’s desires have already shifted, but her husband’s haven’t shifted yet. Please make a second bundle according to the model I used, and then you’ll certainly receive the desired effect.”
Sun’s mother followed her suggestion, placing it in her son’s pillow as had been done with the first bundle, and then she called for him, saying it was time for him to go to sleep. Near the end of the watch, as the old woman listened, it sounded to her as if she could hear the two in separate beds, turning over, occasionally coughing, as if neither one could sleep.
After a long time, she heard the two get into one bed, whispering to each other, but their words were faint, so she couldn’t make out what they were saying.
When it was almost dawn, she could still hear them playing around, and stifling giggle after giggle. The old woman went to tell Sun’s mother, who rejoiced at the news. When the Buddhist nun arrived, she was generously rewarded.
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Second watch: The second of the five two-hour divisions of the night, occurring approximately 9:00-11:00 p.m.
Sun lived harmoniously and happily with his wife. She gave birth to a son and two daughters, and ten years went by without the former business ever being mentioned again. When acquaintances privately asked him about it, he’d smile and tell them, “Previously, we felt angry even at seeing each other’s shadows—but afterwards, we felt happy at hearing the sound of each other’s voice, and we couldn’t understand what had happened in our hearts.”
The collector of these strange tales remarks, “To cause a change from abhorrence to love is the work of magic and immortals. But simply ordering people through supernatural workings to be happy, or to be angry, would be just terrible. A great sage of the past declared, ‘Keep the magic women away from your home.’ You can see why from this husband’s experience!”
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Magic women: Pu’s phrase is liupo, signifying the six classes of professional woman, including “holy woman” or “magic woman,” and hence referring to the Buddhist nun.
254. The Eighth Great King
Scholar Feng, who lived in Lintao, came from noble descendents, but his family’s fortunes had decayed. There was a turtle fisherman who owed him a debt that he couldn’t repay, so he was always giving Feng turtles for him to eat.
One day, he received an enormous turtle that had white dots on its forehead. Feng found the turtle to be quite unusual, so he released it. Afterwards, returning to his son-in-law’s house, he arrived at the side of the Heng River as it was already growing dark, and there he spotted a drunkard, followed by two or three boy servants, as he staggered and stumbled along.
When the drunkard noticed Feng in the distance, he demanded, “Who’re you?”
“Just a pedestrian,” Feng casually replied.
The drunkard became angry and declared, “Why’d you say you were a pedestrian, instead of just giving your name?” Feng moved on impatiently, giving no reply, and tried to pass by him. This made the drunkard even angrier, so he seized Feng’s sleeve and wouldn’t let him go, as the reek of liquor assailed Feng’s nostrils.
Although he couldn’t bear the stench, even with all his strength he was unable to pull himself loose. “What’s your name?” Feng asked him.
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Lintao: A county name, now part of Gansu province.
Heng River: In modern Quyang county, Hebei province.
Slurring his speech, the man replied, “In the past, I was a district magistrate in the southern capital. What does it matter?”
“That there can be such a district magistrate as this in the world,” Feng remarked, “is an utter disgrace! Fortunately, you were a magistrate in the past; if you were a magistrate right now, would anyone choose to pass through this way?”
The drunkard became very angry, and started gesturing like he was going to attack. Feng exclaimed, “My name is Feng, and I’m not going to allow myself to be knocked around in some fight!”
When the drunkard heard this, his anger shifted to cheerfulness, and he unsteadily bowed low to pay his respects, declaring, “Why, you’re my gracious rescuer, innocent of any offence!” He stood up and called to his servants, so they could go to his home and rectify everything.
Feng tried to decline, but the drunkard wouldn’t let him do so. He grasped Feng’s hand and walked with him for several li, till they could see a small village. As they entered, the verandas and buildings were magnificently attractive, like they were part of a high official’s household.
As the drunkard’s inebriation began to wear off a bit, Feng asked him his name. “Don’t be startled,” he replied, “but I’m the Eighth King of the Tao River. Just now, the young master of West Mountain invited me to come and drink with him, but I wasn’t aware that I’d become drunk—I’ve offended you, for which I am most genuinely ashamed.”
Feng realized that he must be some kind of supernatural being, and due to the drunkard’s warm enthusiasm, he felt no fear of him. Presently, the Eighth King had a sumptuous banquet set up, where they sat down together and happily began drinking.
The king became completely unrestrained, and kept offering him successive goblets of wine. Feng was afraid that the king would get drunk again and start getting boisterous, so he pretended to be drunk himself, and asked that he be allowed to go to sleep.
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Li: A distance equal to 1/3 mile.
The Eighth King had already figured out what he was up to, and with a laugh, replied, “You’re not afraid that I’m crazy, are you? Please don’t worry about it. Ordinarily, a drunkard has no moral scruples, says he doesn’t remember what happened the previous night, and bullies people. Drunkards are out of their minds, and there’s one person like that out of every nine or ten people. Even though I despise getting together with peers, I dare not behave rascally to the elderly and those deserving of respect, so why do I see you resisting me like this?”
Feng then sat down again, composed himself, and admonished him, “If you’ve come to such an understanding of yourself, why don’t you change your ways?”
“When I was the old magistrate, I was worse than I am now,” replied the Eighth King, “My offenses angered the Jade Emperor, so I was demoted to a minor post on an island, and have been forced to remain there for more than ten years. Now that I’m near death, my power’s so reduced that I can’t even move around much anymore, and that’s why I took this form again, so I could extricate myself. Now I will respectfully obey my destiny.”
The two shared a good heart-to-heart talk, while in the distance, a bell ceased its ringing. The king stood up, grabbed Feng’s arm, and said, “We were able to meet, though not for long. I have something I’ve been saving, a little reward for your great kindness. You won’t be able to keep this for long, and after you achieve your dream, you’ll need to return it to me.”
Then from his mouth he spat out a little man, only about a cun in size. The little fellow proceeded to use his fingernails to clutch Feng’s arm, causing him pain as they penetrated his skin; swiftly, the king pressed the little man to Feng’s arm, and when he released his hand, the little man had already gotten inside Feng’s skin, the marks of his nails there still present, while protruding over a considerable length was something resembling little balls of phlegm.
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Jade Emperor: One of China’s legendary emperors, the Yu Di is depicted in folk and literary culture as “the highest ruler of heaven” (Yang and An 221).
Shocked, Feng asked the king about it, but he just smiled, without replying. However, he did say, “You should go.” After accompanying Feng outside, the king went back by himself. When Feng looked back at the building they’d come from, it had entirely vanished, and the only thing remaining was a huge turtle that clumsily entered the water, and sank from sight.
He stood there, startled, for quite some time. He thought to himself about the turtle that he’d released, and realized that this was surely that same priceless turtle.
Thereafter, his eyes became extraordinarily sharp-sighted, and if there were jewels anywhere, even underground, he could spot them; and whenever he approached something that he hadn’t known about before, its name would suddenly pop into his head. In his bedroom, he uncovered several hundred hidden strings of cash that took care of his expenses quite adequately.
Later on, when someone sold his family’s old residence, Feng looked closely and also discovered countless strings of cash there, so he took a large amount of money and bought the residence. From this point forward, he lived the life of a wealthy nobleman. He began to accumulate precious gems and pearls of all kinds.
He acquired a mirror that had a phoenix on the back of its handle, surrounded by images of water, clouds, and speckled bamboo, that radiated light for more than a li, so that one could even make out the individual hairs or eyebrows in an image’s reflection. A beautiful woman was reflected in it, her image remaining there, and even rubbing the mirror couldn’t erase it; and if some other beauty looked into it to adjust her make-up, then the mirror might replace the first image with this new beauty, while the first reflection disappeared.
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Cun: A length equal to 1/3 decimeter, or about 1.33 inches.
At the time, the third princess, daughter of Prince Suzhuang, was a matchless beauty whose elegance made her the envy of everyone. It happened that the princess was sightseeing through Kongdong, while Feng was hiding in the mountains, waiting for her to leave her carriage so he could reflect her in his mirror, and after doing so he returned home and placed it on his desk.
Upon examining it closely, he saw a beautiful woman reflected in it, lifting up a cloth with a coy smile, moving her mouth like she wanted to speak, and waving like she wanted him to come closer. Feng was delighted and hid it away.
A year passed, and Feng’s wife leaked word about the mirror he owned, so they heard about it at the prince’s residence. Prince Suzhuang was angry, and intended to have Feng arrested. His plan was to chop off Feng’s head.
Feng paid a big bribe to a high official, who then dispatched a message to Prince Suzhuang, saying, “Begging the Prince’s pardon, if you can forgive me, then I will give you the most valuable of treasures. Otherwise, I shall die, without benefit to Your Majesty.” The prince wanted to confiscate all of Feng’s belongings and then exile him.
The third princess declared, “He’s already snuck a peek at me, so even ten deaths wouldn’t be enough penalty to pay for this insult—unless, of course, he’d marry me.” Prince Suzhuang said he wouldn’t allow it. The princess then shut her door and wouldn’t eat.
The prince’s concubine became quite worried about her, and earnestly spoke to the prince about it. Prince Suzhuang then assured her that Feng would be brought to them, and ordered a high-ranking eunuch to make his intentions known to Feng about marrying his daughter.
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Prince Suzhuang: The fourteenth son of the first Ming emperor, Hongwu (1368-98).
Kongdong: Name of a mountain west of Pingliang county, and east of Jiungyuan county, Gansu province.
“I married my wife when I was poor,” Feng told the eunuch, declining the offer, “but she is no less dignified a wife for all that, and I’d rather die than dare to carry out his instructions. I’d give up everything I own if the prince would allow me to excuse myself from this matter.” Prince Suzhuang grew angry, and had Feng taken into custody.
The prince’s concubine summoned Feng’s wife to the palace, and was intending to poison her. But when the wife appeared, she brought a coral mirror stand to give to the concubine, connoting her warm sincerity. The concubine was delighted by the gift and sent for the princess to join them. The princess was also pleased with the gift and agreed that they should consider themselves elder and younger sisters, then sent someone to inform Feng.
He told his wife, “She’s a prince’s daughter, so there can’t be any discussion about whether she’s a proper wife or a concubine.” His wife wouldn’t listen, but went home to put together the money to send to the prince’s residence to secure the marriage, then had it presented by a thousand men.
There were precious stones and gems of many types, and the prince’s family members had had no idea of the extent of Feng’s resources. Prince Suzhuang, who was very pleased, told Feng to go home, taking the princess with him as his concubine. The princess, meanwhile, was still thinking about the mirror Feng had at home.
One night, as Feng was sleeping by himself, he dreamed that the Eighth King, towering above him, entered and said, “I offered you that thing as a gift, and now I’ve come to take it back. You’ve had it to admire for a long time, but it consumes a person’s life essence and blood, and can decrease your lifespan.”
Feng then promised to turn it over to him, and invited him to stay for a banquet and drinks. Declining, the Eighth King explained, “Listen carefully to my advice, and give up drinking for the next three years.” Then with his mouth, he took a bite out of Feng’s arm, causing him great pain and startling him awake.
As he looked closely at the spot to investigate, the lump there disappeared. After this, Feng became just an ordinary person.
The collector of these strange tales remarks, “When he was sober, he was like a human being, and when drunk he was like a turtle—that was the drunkard, for the most part. It happened to be the turtle’s habit to become roaring drunk each day, but since he didn’t dare forget the kindness that was shown him, and he didn’t dare keep up his impertinence, didn’t the turtle surpass the human by quite a distance? If a drunkard who sobers up behaves less like a human than when he was drunk, then he doesn’t even deserve to be compared to a turtle. Since the ancients derived prognostications from turtles, why can’t we derive an object lesson from them? Then I could write ‘The Drunkard’s Narrative.’ The narrative might go like this:
“‘There was once a thing that was pleasing to the palate; drinking it would make one tipsy and inebriated, and its name was “wine.” It had the greatest of reputations, and had been successful already for a long time: have it entertain honored guests, and it will help you get a father-in-law or uncle-in-law quickly; it helps you chat happily with a girl, fall in love with her, and then marry her; perhaps it can be said to be “the fishhook that catches poetry,” as well as “the broom that sweeps away worries.”
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Prognostications from turtles: Eberhard (294-5) notes that the turtle was seen as a microcosmic model of the universe, with its shell signifying the vaulted heavens, and the flat underside, the earth. Since the twenty-four rim plates of its shell were correlated to the twenty-four divisions of the agricultural calendar, it was considered valuable for making prognostications. The phrase “guijian,” meaning the derivation of prophecies and othe
r things to ponder, literally translates as “the object lesson of the tortoise,” and Pu’s punning etymology here replaces “tortoise” (gui) with “turtle” (bie), to form the “object lesson of the turtle.”
“‘That’s why wine is the poet’s close friend and sworn brother; a drunken stupor clouds the judgment, so one can escape anything that causes vexation. No one can deny that a hill of lees has already been mounded up, and the leather wine container has made a huge contribution; they both helped to ensure that respectable minister Chun Yukun drank a gallon of wine, and the scholar Liu Ling a half gallon, before they got drunk.
“‘While wine definitely gains in reputation from great people, it also provides the opportunity for their drunken behavior to be perceived as sensible. Thus Meng Jia’s fallen hat helped him to a good reputation, Liu Ling prudently carried a spade over his shoulder everywhere he drank, Shan Jian’s falling off a horse while drunk was still considered becoming, and Tao Yuanming used his hempen scarf to filter the wine he drank, demonstrating his practicality and pizzazz.
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Chun Yukun . . . Liu Ling: Chun is famous for interceding in the drinking of the youthful King of Qi, during his Warring States period (720-256 B.C.E.) reign. Chun asked the king a riddle about a crow that had neither cawed nor flown, and the king, recognizing it as a reference to his abandonment of his duties, became a changed man. Eccentric Daoist Liu Ling (221-300 C.E.) retreated from life at court to live in the country, becoming famous for his love of alcohol, and for a poem praising the virtues of wine, and always carried a spade with him, so someone could bury him if he died while drinking.
