by Karla Forbes
***
Sarah lay awake having given in totally to apathy. She had stopped trying to measure the passage of time. Day and night now merged into one. She was dirty and unkempt, her hair was matted, and she was still in the same clothes she had been wearing the morning of her abduction. She wondered, briefly, how long ago that had been, but she couldn’t remember. She quickly gave up. It was all too much effort. The sum total of her world had now become the back of the van. Twice a day her protector would come in to feed her and empty the bucket. She always felt sick and didn’t want the food, but he watched her closely and she feared his anger. After she had eaten he would praise her. He had even brought her a blanket one night when he had found her shivering with the cold. She had thanked him and resolved to try harder to please him. She had stopped asking when she could go home. The question seemed to annoy him, and she couldn’t risk him leaving her again.
She wasn’t sure when she had begun to feel ill. It had started with the headache – a constant throbbing pain that she could find no relief from. Next had come the weakness, bringing with it a lethargy that had been both mentally and physically draining. To begin with she had resisted it, forcing herself to carry out a set of daily exercises, but soon even that had become too much. She had apologised for feeling ill and he had chided her telling her it was because she wasn’t eating properly. He had reminded her that if she didn’t eat she couldn’t go home.
“What would your kids think if they saw you now?” he had asked. “Come on,” he had urged her, “eat up. We’ve got to get you fit again.” And she had felt pathetically grateful for his consideration and had made an extra effort to do as she was told.
She didn’t raise her head at the sound of the key turning in the lock. The pain was now worse than ever, and it was only by staying perfectly still that could she bring herself some relief. A cold draught blew in with the opening door but was immediately shut off again. She waited for him to speak, but heard only his rapid breathing. He seemed to be agitated. She felt his hand brush along the inside of her leg, and turned her head questioningly. She didn’t recognise the stranger grinning back at her in the torchlight and she pulled away from him in terror.
“Who are you?” she asked, scared and confused. Even as she asked the question, something in her mind was stirring. She had seen him before, she was sure of that, but she couldn’t think when.
“Shut up,” he snarled, “Keep your voice down.”
“Wh…what do…do you want?” she demanded, fear making her stutter.
“I said, keep your voice down!” He shot out a hand and grabbed her by the back of the neck, pulling her towards him. She squirmed out of his grasp and opened her mouth to scream but without warning he hit her, hard, across the face.
Her head rocked, and pain exploded across her vision. She fell back, hitting her head against the side of the van, and immediately he was on her, fumbling and pawing her. She tried, desperately, to back away, but was brought up short by the chain tethering her to the floor. She looked around her wildly but there was nowhere to go. The next second he lunged at her, yanking up her top and grabbing her breasts, kneading them painfully in his hands.
“Please…don’t!” she protested, but he ignored her, pushed up her bra and began biting hungrily at her nipples. She tried to fight him off, but her resistance only seemed to excite him more. He shoved her flat on the floor and, holding her wrists firmly above her head, began tugging at the zip of her trousers with one hand. She summoned all her strength and kicked out at him but he tightened his grip, bringing his mouth to within an inch of her ear.
“I’m warning you, you stupid bitch!” he snarled. “Try that again and I’ll kill you!”
“Please stop,” she begged. “You’re hurting me.”
He grinned down at her. “Stop fighting and it will stop hurting.”
He wrenched at her trousers, tugging them down and ramming his knee between her legs before she could close them. “Lie still!” he ordered, and holding her captive with one hand, eased himself back and tugged at his own trousers with the other.
She gasped in horror at the sight of his swollen penis and tried to twist away from him, but he was too strong for her and all she could do as he thrust into her and began pounding away was to close her eyes and let her mind flee elsewhere. She thought of her home, her children, her husband, anywhere and anything but the dirty reality of what was happening. She prayed for it to stop but it seemed to go on for an eternity. She endured it by shutting it out of her mind, and when he eventually climaxed and collapsed with a grunt on top of her, she lay rigid, too shocked and traumatised to move. Eventually he stirred and raised himself onto his elbows looking down at her, his face hovering close to her own.
“Did you like that?” he asked. “Want some more, do you?”
He rammed his mouth over hers, forcing his tongue down her throat, but pulled back laughing as she twisted and squirmed away from him. “No? Another time perhaps. Now you be a good girl and don’t say anything to the others about this. We don’t want them spoiling it for us, do we?”
He backed off her and looked around the van searching for his trousers. As he found them and pulled them on, a single tear began to roll down her cheek. He eyed her with disgust. “Don’t lie there pretending you didn’t want it. I know your type. You act as though you’re better than everyone else, but underneath, you’re the same as all the other filthy bitches.” He reached out and patted her roughly under the chin. “Well, don’t worry, there’s plenty more where that came from. But remember, don’t tell the others. If you do, I might have to kill you. And neither of us wants that, do we?”
With a last chuckle he stepped out of the van, closing the door behind him. She turned onto her side and crawled into a tight ball. Her headache returned. It was worse than before, and she vomited over the mattress. A warning voice told her that the other man, her protector, would be angry, but she found that she no longer cared.
***
Nick woke with a start, and for a moment couldn’t remember where he was. He peered around him into the darkness and as it slowly came back to him, he angrily berated himself for falling asleep. He fumbled for his watch. It was just before three. He listened, wondering what it was that had woken him, and then walked over to the window. He instinctively pulled back, catching his breath at the sight of one of the men clambering from the back of the van. He watched with curiosity as the man stealthily locked the door behind him, all the while snatching surreptitious glances at the lodge. It was clear that whatever he was up to, he was working alone.
Nick waited until the man had disappeared inside the lodge, then slipped outside and sprinted the two hundred yards to where the van was standing at the edge of the forest. He waited, invisible against the undergrowth, his senses alert. It was a cloudy night with no moon, but he knew that once he left the safety of the trees, anyone looking out of the window would be able to see his dark clothes against the white paintwork.
Nothing stirred. He detached himself from the shadows and moved silently to the front of the van, peering in through the windscreen. It was unremarkable in every way. Apart from a couple of empty cigarette packets and beer cans littering the seats, there was nothing to be seen. He tried the side doors, more in hope than expectation, and wasn’t surprised to find them locked. He glanced up at the lodge, scanning the windows for signs of life, and then crept cautiously around to the back of the van. Apart from being locked, the doors had been secured with a heavy padlock and chain. Nick despondently examined both, and came to the reluctant conclusion that without a heavy-duty bolt cutter there was little he could do. There were no markings on the van; no windows to peer through. He sensed that whatever was inside held the key to everything, but he couldn’t even begin to guess what that might be. He let the chain fall from his hand in frustration.
***
Inside, Sarah raised her head from the mattress and listened. Someone was at the door! Her stomach twisted with fear and
she stifled a sob of terror.
He was back!
She lay like a corpse, neither blinking nor breathing. Her heart, beating too rapidly, was the only indication that she was still alive. A part of her knew that he could come in again and rape her any time he chose, but her instinct was that of a petrified rabbit. She froze into immobility, willing him to lose interest and go away. She became aware of a warm sticky fluid oozing from her nose. She lay still, incapable of raising her hand to wipe it away. It dribbled slowly down her lip into her mouth. She tasted it with her tongue. It was blood.
***
Fox stripped off his jeans and sweatshirt and crawled into bed grinning with pleasure. He could still smell the rank mustiness of her unwashed body on his skin. It excited him. He felt himself swelling at the anticipation of having her again, and he hoped that next time she wouldn’t have become too weak to fight. He liked it when they resisted. It made his domination over them so much the sweeter. He began to fondle himself at the thought of what he would do to her. This time, his needs had been urgent and he had hurried. But next time…
A voice cut through his thoughts, startling him. He yanked his hand guiltily away from his crotch.
“Have you been up?” Hubner asked accusingly.
Fox would have sniggered at the appropriateness of the question if he hadn’t been for his instinctive fear of Hubner’s wrath.
He remembered, just in time, to sound as though he had been roused from sleep. “No,” he said drowsily. “Why, what’s the matter?”
Hubner stood silhouetted in the doorway. “I heard a noise outside.”
“So why tell me?” Fox asked, testily.
“Because Dave’s still asleep and I thought I heard the front door opening.”
Fox looked him straight in the eye. “It’s nothing to do with me, pal. I was asleep until you barged in and woke me.”
Hubner regarded him with suspicion, but seemed to come to a decision. Without further comment, he strode over to the front door and pulled it open. Fox was struck by an illogical fear that Hubner would check out the van and somehow find out what had been happening. He tugged on his boots and hurried after.
***
Nick heard the door open and reacted instantly. As the two men stepped outside, Nick pulled back into the shadow of the trees, easing himself into the cover of the overhanging branches until he was invisible. The bigger man stood, his arms hanging loosely at his side, peering with narrowed eyes around him. He gave the appearance of a predator, ready to spring without warning. Nick watched, immobile, from the shadows, knowing that only movement would give away his location. The big man slowly turned his head and his eyes seemed to lock onto Nick’s, but Nick remained where he was, unafraid, unflinching. He smiled to himself grimly in the darkness.
That’s right, he thought. Be worried. You’ve got reason to be. I’m on to you now, you bastard.
The big man continued to stare in the direction Nick was standing. He took a step forward, but Nick held firm. Then, quite suddenly, he appeared to lose interest.
“Come on,” he said to the other man. Nick recognised the hint of a German accent. “There’s nothing out here.” He turned on his heel and walked back inside, leaving the other man to glance nervously, one more time, towards the van before hurrying after him.
Nick remained where he was, content to play the waiting game. He wasn’t going to risk discovery by moving too soon and being seen by someone watching from the lodge. He stood for a long time, and as he waited, his thoughts turned to Annelies.
He had known her for fifteen years, and until yesterday had never looked beyond the fact that she was Ed’s younger sister. The first revelation had come when she had moved him more deeply than he could have thought possible by speaking of her loyalty and friendship towards him, but then she had truly surprised him. She had forced him to look at her properly and see the woman she had become.
He leaned against a tree, arms folded, and stared with unseeing eyes towards the lodge. Until yesterday he had loved her more as an older brother. How, he wondered would he love her now?
He shivered in the chilly night air and came to the conclusion that the other men, showing more sense, were probably already asleep. He unhitched himself from the tree and with one last regretful glance towards the locked van, headed back to the lodge. Slipping quietly inside, he paused by Annelies’s bedroom door. It was ajar. He pushed it open and looked over to where she was sleeping. She stirred.
“Is that you, Nick?” she asked drowsily.
“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry. Go back to sleep.”
She pulled herself up on one elbow. “What is it? Has something happened?”
He suddenly felt awkward, wondering why he was there. “One of the men was prowling around,” he explained. “I was keeping an eye on him. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
She looked at her alarm clock. “Don’t worry. It was probably my turn to keep watch anyway.”
“No need,” he said. “I don’t think they’ll be going anywhere tonight.”
“Come here,” she ordered gently.
He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached out to him and took his hand in both of hers. “You’re cold,” she said.
“And you,” he countered, “are nice and warm.”
She lifted the duvet enticingly. “It’s even warmer in here.”
He regarded her solemnly. “You told me to stop tweaking your nose.”
“I did indeed,” she agreed, mischievously.
“You’re living dangerously,” he warned her with mock severity. “If I join you in there, I might not be able to resist.”
“That,” she told him with an impish grin, “is what I’m banking on.”
***
The sun was already high in the sky when Nick woke up, turned over and found her side of the bed empty. He lay for a while, smiling to himself as he listened to her singing happily as she rattled pots around in the kitchen. She stuck her head around the door.
“Ah, you’re awake at last,” she said grinning. “I’ve got coffee and toast on the go. Are you hungry?”
“Not particularly,” he confessed. “Later perhaps.”
Her smile faltered and she walked over to him and perched lightly on the edge of the bed. “You’re looking pale. Is everything OK?”
“Everything’s fine,” he assured her. “I’ve got a headache, that’s all.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “That’s not like you. You’re not sickening for something are you?”
He pulled her towards him and planted a ‘Good Morning’ kiss on the end of her nose. “I doubt it; it’s only a headache.”
“In that case,” she said, yanking back the duvet and delivering a sharp slap to his bare rump.“Get yourself out of bed and get some fresh air. You’ll feel better.”
He shot out a hand, caught her by the wrist and tugged her down beside him.
“I’ve got a better idea.”
He ignored her squeals of protest and proceeded to share with her his own theories on how to restore good health. His methods were very effective. For the next twenty minutes, coffee, toast and headache were all forgotten.
Afterwards she lay with her back to him, snuggled into his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around her.
“Did you know,” she said dreamily, “that when I was thirteen, I was excluded from school for a whole week for carving your name on a desk?”
He gave her a squeeze and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “That sounds harsh. A strict school, was it?”
“Not particularly. But it was the head teacher’s desk.”
He laughed out loud and gently extricated himself from under her, massaging life back into the arm she had been lying on. “If you’re going to break the rules,” he advised, “at least make sure you don’t get caught.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” she said sulkily, “I got in and out of his office without being seen. It was what I wrote that gave me away.”
&n
bsp; “Which was?”
“AB loves Nick Sullivan for ever and ever. I didn’t realise that there were only five other kids in the school with the initials AB, and none of the others had your name written all over their school bag.”
He lay propped on one elbow looking down at her with affection. “Your hero-worship was wasted, I’m sorry to say. As far as I was concerned you were a skinny kid with spots, too much to say for yourself and an annoying habit of getting under my feet.”
She reached out to him, laced her fingers through his hair and guided his mouth to her breasts. “And how do you see me now?”
He began nuzzling an erect nipple. “Well, at least the spots have cleared up.”
She gave him a sharp rap over the back of his head, eliciting a loud ‘Ouch’. “You know I’ve got a headache,” he complained, rubbing the back of his head.
“Good,” she laughed. “Now you’ll have a worse one.” Her eyes widened with alarm. “What’s the matter with your finger?”
He looked at it with surprise. The skin around the cut was blistering and turning red, worse than it had been the day before. “I cut it breaking into Fox’s house,” he explained, squinting at it from several angles. “That’s odd. It was deep, but nothing that shouldn’t have started to heal up by now.”
She pulled his hand towards her, examining it with a frown. “What did you cut it on? A phial full of anthrax? It looks really bad. You need to get it cleaned up.”
“Yeah, later,” he promised, turning back to the business in hand. He began to explore the soft, tangled hair between her legs but she caught hold of his hand, blocking him.
“Stop that,” she ordered. “I’ve got a first aid kit in the car. We need to sort that finger out.”
He rolled onto his back with a groan. “It’s not that part of my anatomy that’s giving me a problem right now.”
But she was already out of bed and heading for the door. He watched her go, shaking his head with exasperation. Why couldn’t women get the priorities right? A cut finger was the least of his concerns.
