by E. D. Walker
“Right.” The little blue had revived as the tip of the syringe touched its mouth, and it greedily chugged down formula until its tiny belly swelled under Zandro’s hand. “Healthy eater. That’s good. So you watch my vids. Do you do rescue work?”
Miguel scrubbed at the back of his neck and actually blushed. “Well, I want to, but my boyfriend doesn’t love the idea.”
“It doesn’t have to be bajo cats. Regular kittens need help too. Does this moon have any kind of humane society or animal shelters?”
The deputy laughed. “If we did, then half the deputies here wouldn’t have overdosed on bajo cat pheromones. No, we’re it for law enforcement, government services. Basically everything. We do have stray cats around the port, though, and the restaurants.”
Zandro laughed. “Yup. That’ll happen pretty much anywhere there’s humans.”
“Do you keep all the cats you take?” Deputy Miguel asked.
“I’m not that crazy.” He laughed. “Most adult bajo cats are actually safe to have as house pets if they’re properly socialized and their owners are careful. As adults, bajo cats can control how much pheromone they release so they won’t dope up their primary caregivers. There’s a registry folks can join if they want to adopt a bajo cat.”
Deputy Miguel started to ask another question when the back door opened behind them, startling them both.
A skinny woman with gray hair pulled back in a low pony tail slid through the door. She jumped when she saw them, and her eyes flicked unhappily over Zandro and the kittens in his lap. She wore a deputy uniform, and clapped her hand to her service blaster as if she meant to draw it.
Zandro’s stomach knotted with unease and an ugly suspicion.
The woman jerked her chin at Zandro. “Miguel, why is he holding that cat? That cat is evidence.”
Deputy Miguel wrung his hands, gaze flicking back and forth between Zandro and the woman. “We didn’t know how to take care of the poor things so we…we called in an expert.”
The woman’s face pinched with anger, her thin mouth twisting.
Zandro scuffed his finger back and forth over the blue kitten’s head then carefully put first Blue then Violet into his travel bag with the heating pad. Violet still needed a feeding, but he had a bad feeling if he didn’t leave with them now he wouldn’t be leaving at all.
He zipped his cat carrier closed and put it over his shoulder, deliberately drawing himself up to his full height as he shouldered the bag. He didn’t like to use his height to intimidate anyone, especially women, but for this lady’s case he’d make an exception. He felt unease all along his spine, like little needles pricking. Something was going on with her. Something bad. And the sooner he removed himself and the kittens the better.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Her jaw tightened, and she actually stepped up to Zandro, squaring off with him even though he dwarfed her by more than a head. He smelled cheap dockside booze on her breath, and her eyes were bloodshot.
“I’m taking my new foster kittens.” He kept his voice steady and watched her shaking hands out of the corner of his eye. She still had one resting on her service weapon. “Your sheriff already signed the release and authorization.”
“That’s bull.”
Deputy Miguel cleared his throat. “It’s true. She signed it before the pheromones kicked in and she started hallucinating all those ants.”
The woman ground her teeth, and Zandro tensed his muscles, ready to grab her if she tried to draw her weapon.
Aliette chose that moment to pop her head into the backroom. She gusted a breath out, blowing a wisp of hair off her face. “Medics finally showed up with enough doses of synerge. Do you have the kittens?”
Zandro nodded, still keeping his eyes on the woman deputy. “Warmed up. Fed. They need a flea bath, but that can wait for the ship.”
“Ready to head out then?”
“Yup.”
The woman deputy raised her eyebrows. “Is that right?” But then she gave a high, cackling laugh and wheeled away from him to glare at poor Miguel. “Boy, you always were a fool.” She tossed one more scowl over her shoulder at Zandro and Aliette. “Take the cats then, and get out of my station.”
Zandro gave her a nod, grinding his jaw as his nerves vibrated with tension. “Much obliged.”
***
As they left the station and started toward the ship, Zandro clutched the cat carrier like he was worried someone was going to come kitten snatch his prize. Aliette didn't blame him. Ever since she'd seen that sleazy looking female deputy she'd had a knot between her shoulders. She wished she'd thought to bring her blaster along with her, but this had seemed like a sleepy small-town sort of moon. She hadn't thought she'd need it.
She kept her head on swivel as they paced toward the ship. She should be cycling the ramp open, but she was so keyed up she didn't trigger the command to open it until they were nearly there.
She waited for Zandro to go first with the kittens then she followed and slapped the controls to shut the ramp. As the ship buttoned itself closed, she felt a little silly and tried to shake off her nervy reaction. OK so that deputy was creepy. No need to be paranoid though, right?
Zandro had unceremoniously stopped almost in the entryway of the ship, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and she nearly tripped on him as he unzipped the cat carrier and plucked the two kittens out. He had what she recognized as a warming pad on his lap, and he placed both kittens on it.
“I need to get us off the ground.” She bounced on her toes, hesitating, wanting to help him and wanting desperately to get as far away from this moon as she could manage.
Zandro waved her on. “Go. Take off. I'm fine. Anyway, I'd rather we get out of here as fast as we possibly can.”
She didn't know whether to be reassured that he was as edgy as she was or worried. If they'd both read that lady deputy as off somehow maybe there really was something to worry about?
Worry later, she scolded herself and broke into a jog for the cockpit. She did a cursory check of the ship. A full diagnostic could wait until they were airborne. Anyway, she'd had the security field up. If anyone had tried to mess with her Dulcie she would've known about it.
The ship lifted off just fine, and Aliette blew a relieved sigh out through her teeth. She gave the sheriff's station a curt salute as they sailed away. “So long, Anteros XII. Hope I don't see you soon.”
They reached atmo and fell into their flight path to the nearest star lane. They needed to get a little farther away from the moon's gravity field before she could jump to lightspeed, but they could cruise on autopilot for now.
Nerves still itchy, shoulders aching with tension, Aliette scanned her controls and argued with herself. He’s fine. He doesn’t need your help. But, despite her better instincts, Aliette still pushed out of her chair and went to check on Zandro and the kittens.
***
Zandro sat in the galley with the kittens on the table in front of him, still on their heating pad and wrapped up like little burritos. A scowl marred his handsome face, and Aliette hurried forward.
“Something wrong?”
“They're still too cold, dammit.” He had a small toothbrush out and was scrubbing the fur of the little violet backwards and forwards. Trying to simulate a mother cat, she knew. The sight of him laboring over the kittens made something flutter in her chest. A sharp, dull ache of memory. How many times had she seen a similar moment like this? How many times had he run himself ragged trying to save some poor animal?
He had a heart wide enough to welcome the whole world in, and he had it broken about as often as you'd expect. She didn't know how he'd stuck with the rescue work for so long. But, then again, he'd chosen the work over her. Maybe it was gratifying that it meant so much to him? Maybe she could reassure herself that at least it had been a tough choice for Zandro?
She wanted to turn away, back to the cockpit, leave him alone to his work. That was the choice he'd made, after all. But he looked so frant
ic, so worried, and the poor little kittens were so still, so small. Cursing her soft heart, she dropped into the chair across from him and reached for the little blue kitten.
Zandro cast her a quick, grateful glance. “I have a spare heating pad in the kitten bag.”
“OK.” With long practice, Aliette tucked the kitten against her with one arm and went to fish in the go bag for the necessary supplies. She hadn't touched a kitten in years, and yet all the old routines were already coming back to her. Old habits. She glanced at Zandro again and their gazes caught. His eyes were a warm honey brown, and something in her stomach heated up, fluttering low and urgent. I missed you.
She bit her lip and gathered her supplies. No time for any of the mess between them. Laughing wryly at herself, she returned her focus to the kitten at hand.
***
Aliette was so beautiful. The thought kept running through his head over and over, even as he continued to work on warming the violet kitten, even as he finally got its core temperature up enough to try a feeding. He had his hand under the kitten's chin so he could feel it swallow, but he found his gaze continually pulled back and back and back again to Aliette as she tended her own kitten. A lock of bright red hair had escaped her braid to fall against her cheek. If his hands hadn't been full of warm kitten he'd have traced a finger down the line of Aliette’s cheek. Which was beyond foolish.
Except a light flush was lighting her cheeks, and their gazes seemed to catch every few seconds or so. She was pissed at him. She'd left him behind long ago. And yet somehow they couldn't seem to stop looking at each other.
Aliette reached over for the premixed formula. Her syringe dropper at the ready. He snuck a hand over to check her kitten. A warm, wriggling little ball. Good.
Aliette snorted. “Checking my work?”
He shrugged. “It's been a long time since you did this.”
“True.” Aliette held the dropper to her kitten's mouth. Just as he was about to remind her to move her finger so she could feel the animal swallow, she did it on her own.
Zandro beamed at her. “You always were good at this.”
Aliette let out a tight, frustrated sigh. “It was never the kittens I had a problem with.”
“It was me?”
“No. It was—” She visibly gritted her jaw. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
Her nostrils flared in anger, but her grip on the kitten was still gentle. “If I mattered to you then you wouldn’t have chosen a cat over me.”
Zandro reared back, feeling the words land like a physical weight against his chest. “What are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anyway. I need to focus.”
He brushed his fingertips over her hand. She jumped at the touch and gazed at him with wide, startled eyes. He swallowed, his mouth feeling dry. “This is about that tomcat, isn’t it? The one who hurt you?”
Aliette pinched her eyes closed, and her shoulders were tense against her seatback. “You kept him, Zandro. You adopted him. He tore my back to bloody ribbons and nearly killed me with his pheromones, and you brought him back to our house.”
Zandro’s chest tightened with a deep, bitter regret. “You thought I was choosing the cats over you.”
“You did choose them.”
“I wasn’t going to keep him, Allie. I’d already found another fosterer who was willing to take him. But you packed and left without talking to me. I thought…I thought you couldn’t handle my rescue work anymore. I thought I’d driven you away.”
“Oh.” Her breath was fast and shallow as she stared at him. Her kitten made a small mew under her hand, and she startled in surprise. Aliette gave a small, dark laugh. “I really do need to pay attention to this.”
“OK.” Zandro looked to his own kitten. The little creature was more alert, squirming in his hands. And when he held the dropper to its mouth, it drank greedily. “Good, good. Drink up, baby.”
The kittens finished eating at about the same moment. Zandro dug his flea comb out and started parsing his kitten's fur. Bajo cats were among the softest of animals in the universe, but this one was covered in dirt and spider webs and its own filth. It wasn't soft at all.
It was also crawling with fleas. “Hell.”
“What?”
“I need to give them a flea bath. I hate to do it with animals this young, but they're so tiny they can't afford to lose any blood.”
“Fleas.” Aliette gave a bitter laugh, but she scritched affectionately at her own kitten's head. “I should've known. It's always something.”
Zandro scrapped at his own arm, pierced with guilt. He should take the kittens and let her go clean up, decompress after the sheriff visit and that tense chat of theirs. He owed Aliette so much for taking him. He should just leave her alone for the rest of this very brief trip.
Except he’d left her alone once before when he should have reached out instead. He didn’t want to make that mistake again. He would reach out and if she reached back…well. And if she didn’t at least he’d know he tried.
Heart hammering, he extended his fingers out to touch her hand and caught her gaze when she looked up at him. “Would you like to help me, Allie?”
***
She should say no. She should leave before he and the kittens had a chance to seduce her. But the kitten was warm and soft, and Zandro was kind and wonderful and so stupidly handsome it made her chest ache just to look at him. She was still upset by their talk. All these years she’d been telling herself that he’d abandoned her. That he’d made his choice and it wasn’t her.
But it had been a mistake. Or at least a misunderstanding. She’d been so scared and rattled after the attack that she hadn’t wanted to be anywhere near a bajo cat. Anywhere near Zandro. Maybe talking to him back then wouldn’t have done any good. Or maybe it would’ve changed everything.
She shook her head. It didn’t matter what his intentions had been. Or what her reaction might have been. She couldn’t change things.
But here was Zandro now. Holding his hand out to her. Wanting to spend time with her.
He’d tied his wavy dark hair back into a small nub of a ponytail at some point. It looked glossy and silky soft in the bright lights of the mess. His skin was warm and glowing with health, although his cheeks were stubbled now with dark beard. Would his skin be as warm as the kitten breathing softly beneath her palm? She had a sudden visceral urge to circle the table and lean into Zandro. Tuck her face against his neck and breathe. Was he still using the same aftershave? Would he smell like the cold evidence storage room at the station? Or would he smell like spice and citrus and delicious male?
Aliette shook herself and pushed to stand. Dumb. She was being so dumb. It was like someone had handed her a grenade with the pin pulled and she was hesitating to hand it back. Zandro had already broken her heart into pieces. What kind of idiot was she that she was just itching to give him the chance again?
Itching. Aliette rolled her eyes. Hell. She glanced down at the sleeping kitten tucked into her elbow. Fleas. Her skin crawled at the thought, but her old kitten training was still too strong. The first rule of kitten care was to keep them warm. As much as she loathed the thought of fleas, she wasn’t about to drop this kitten onto the cold table or even hold it away from her own body. It needed her warmth too much.
But, ugh, fleas.
Aliette shivered and glared at Zandro as he looked at her. She’d been quiet a long time, but he was just watching her. As if he could hear the thoughts running through her head. The worries. The hesitation.
He wet his lips. “Well?”
Aliette scoffed out a laugh. “Yeah. Fool that I am, I’ll help you Zandro with the fleas. Come on.”
***
Zandro finally remembered to set his camera up and start filming once it was time to give the kittens their baths. He should have been filming all along since they hit the station, since he left the ship on the moon, but between Aliette and the weirdness wit
h the deputies he'd forgotten to. Just as well, the deputies of the sheriff's station probably wouldn't have wanted him recording their distress.
He set up his portable com unit on a tripod by Aliette's sink and hit record. “So, we've successfully rescued the two bajo kittens from the moon of Anteros XII. We've got them warmed up and fed, so now we just need to take care of all these fleas.” He mugged for the camera, making an overwrought grimace. Aliette snorted beside him. He flicked his glance over to her. “Are you ok if I mention that you're here? Or would you rather be an unnamed assistant?”
She froze and her brows drew together in a frown. “I guess I don't mind?”
“You don't have to. I never want to make you uncomfortable or force you to do something you don't want.”
She blinked, her eyes immediately growing shiny.
Zandro reached out to tap the off button and stop the recording. “I'm sorry, Aliette. I'm so sorry. I probably should have been saying that every ten minutes or so since I walked onto your ship, but I am. I shouldn’t have pushed you to take me on today, and I never should have pushed you to handle that bajo tomcat by yourself back then.”
It was nearly five years ago now, but the way her eyes had immediately begun to shimmer he had an inkling the incident was still fresh in her mind and still as painful to her as it was to him. Two emergency rescues had come up at the same time. Orphaned preemies and a big feral tomcat hiding in someone's warehouse. Zandro wouldn't have been able to get to both of them in time so he'd sent Aliette to get the tomcat while he'd handled the kittens himself. She'd only just started helping him with his rescue work. And then he'd sent her out to handle a massive and feral bajo cat by herself.
He shook his head at his past self, his gut roiling with unhappiness at the memory. “I was dumb, and I should've listened when you said you didn't want to do it. I was just so frantic to get to those preemies in time that I wasn’t thinking straight.”
