“You mean monster hunter? Only in my spare time. My day job is much less glamorous.”
“What if I told you there are others in the world who also hunt monsters? What if I told you there are many, many bad things out there you do not know of, and there are people not so different from you who are charged with keeping them at bay?”
“I’d say I’m not surprised. Not that I’ve come across any… but I’ve seen enough evil I can’t explain to think that at least a few others might have had the genius idea to hunt these bastards down.”
“That is oversimplifying things, my dear monsieur. These creatures may be different from us, but that does not make them inherently evil. To say they are bastards to hunt down is the thought of the bourgeoisie.” She stepped around to the back of her desk and gestured to a pair of metal folding chairs in front. “Please, take a seat. We have much to talk about.”
Half of me wanted to head for the door and leave this bullshit behind. But she was right. I had nowhere else to go. No wallet, no credit cards, no identification. The best I could do was take my gun from Sofi’s bag, head off down the hallway in search of a broom closet, and blow my brains out so I could take the Eitherspace express back to my shitty old house in Mississippi. Problem was that wouldn’t save Nancy … if she could even be saved anymore. Wouldn’t do a damn thing to help Sofi’s sister either. And for all I knew, these abductions would continue. Even without their Donal out there snatching people from their homes, unencumbered by the “you must ask permission” clause the vampires were somehow forced to abide by (except for at Sofi’s…) they’d find a way to continue. Maybe by exposing themselves more than they cared to, or maybe just by finding some other vampire-wannabe to enlist as their next intern familiar.
I scraped the chair across the hardwood floor and took a seat next to Sofi.
“Can we get some goddamn lights on in here at least?” I asked. “It’s like we’re back in the catacombs.”
“Ah yes, the catacombs. That is where you found the… specimen?”
“And where they took my sister. And where we found a pile of dead bodies. And where I killed a killer. And where this guy,” Sofi pointed at me, “managed to burst into a ball of flames and live to talk about it.”
“You have to admit I do look pretty sexy for a guy who recently burned to death.”
“And died from a stab wound on my couch,” Sofi added.
“I’m still not convinced I died from the stab wound,” I replied. “I’m starting to think that cocktail you gave me might have been the real culprit there.”
“You would have died without it.”
I died with it, I thought. And as the memories of agony in Sofi’s apartment came back to me, so did the stabbing ache in my gut. “Do you have any more of those pills? The pain’s back.”
While Sofi searched through the bag, Rousseau spoke again. “How is Paul? I have not heard a word from him in several days. The last we spoke, he told me he was helping you with a problem.” She paused for a moment and glared at me. “I assume Mr. Bones here was the problem.”
Sofi handed me a pill. As I swallowed it down, she answered Rousseau’s question. “Paul is dead.”
Rousseau’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened nearly as big as they’d first appeared with the magnifying goggles on. “Comment ? Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé ? Une overdose ?”
“No… something much worse. I think he became a vampire. He came to me with a strange man I have never seen before. They came in to and attacked us.”
“We staked ‘em,” I replied. “Boom! Up in flames. Nothing left of them anymore.”
“Or of my home.”
“Did you let them in, Sofi? Did Paul trick you?”
“No. Nothing like that. Phoenix had just died, and that’s when Paul and the other man appeared at my door. If it had been only Paul, I may have let him in, perhaps to help me with the body.”
I huffed. Being referred to as “a body” felt insulting. But I left it alone and kept the rest of my commentary to myself.
“If they were vampires, they could not come in without you inviting them first. Everyone knows this, Sofi. So, if they came into your home without an invitation, they could not be vampires.”
“Oh, they were vampires alright,” I interjected. “As I said, they popped as soon as we shoved some timber through their undead hearts. And they had fangs. So, unless you all are hanging out with the types of people who file down their teeth and have a strange tendency to explode and then spontaneously combust when stabbed, I’m pretty damned sure they were vampires. The thing is, vampires I can handle. I’ve done it before, and I’m sure I’ll do it again. What I can’t handle are vampires that don’t follow the rules.” I reached over, took the bag from Sofi, and retrieved the amulet. “Or who have familiars who carry around weird shit like this thing.”
“Ah yes, the charm from the photo. May I see it?”
I looked at Sofi. When she nodded, I placed the amulet on Rousseau’s desk beside a half-assembled spyglass and slid it across to her. She took it into her hand, popped her goggles back on, and began to examine it.
“Yes, this definitely appears to be vampiric in origin,” she began. “Those markings. They are a manner of cuneiform. Egyptian, I believe. They speak of the goddess Sekhmet—the one often referred to as the first vampire of them all.”
“So that thing belongs to an ancient Egyptian goddess?” I asked. “Egypt? Is that where we need to go?
“Highly unlikely,” Rousseau replied. “She is likely no more than a myth. And even if she is not and did exist, I find it unlikely she still would today.”
“But if she’s a vampire, she can live forever. Why wouldn’t she still be around?” asked Sofi.
“It’s as valuable a lead as any, right?” This journey just became a lot more interesting. The simple idea of facing down an ancient Egyptian goddess piqued my interest. I’d never fought anyone so historical before. And a trip to Egypt? Double the fun. Another place I’d never been, and again much better than catching strays or pulling raccoons from attics back home. Besides, how bad could she be?
“Perhaps… but again, unlikely. If this were, in fact, hers, she would not have given it to some familiar. Even if he was responsible for important business. It does, however, explain how the vampires entered Sofi’s home. If a vampire’s possession is in a place, taken there absent the will of the vampire, it is then assumed the vampire may enter to retrieve its property. No permission is required.”
“So, they were after the amulet. But how did they know it was there? Some sort of magic?”
“I do not believe in magic, Mr. Bones. I believe in science. To simply “know” where something is would be natural psychic ability, and though it is possible your vampires possess a psychic ability, I am not sure that is how they found you. Nonetheless, you are asking the wrong questions. True, this is old. And it is clearly vampiric. But why did your killer have it? What use would a relic be to him? Those are the questions you should be asking.”
“Well, do you have the answers? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
“I am sorry, but I do not. Though now that I have seen this up close, I believe I may know of another who might. May I keep this a bit longer? I would like to examine it closer and make a few calls with some colleagues. It should not take long. In the meantime, you can explore our museum.”
I hesitated to answer. The last thing I wanted was to give up the one clue we had, if only for a few minutes. I didn’t know this Rousseau, and although Sofi appeared to trust her, she still hadn’t won that privilege from me. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you can tell us? Maybe give it one more look right now?”
Rousseau sighed but conceded. “Very well. I will inspect it once more if only to assuage your curiosity.” She took the amulet back to her eye and inspected it carefully. First the side with the etchings that tied it back to Egypt and that vampire goddess, then to the other side, where Sofi nor I had noticed any markings or oth
er obvious curiosities.
“Now this is curious,” she muttered and leaned in closer. She picked up a small screwdriver from the table and began to poke and scrape at the relic’s unmarked backside. “Yes, I think I have found something very interesting indeed.”
“What? What is it?” asked Sofi as she reached across the table to try and snatch the amulet back.
Rousseau pulled away, and as she did so a small piece of metal broke from the amulet and landed with a soft tinkle on the wood surface of her desk. “I believe I know how they found you.”
“How? Some sort of charm? A magic tracker? A blood curse?” I asked.
“Nothing of the sort,” Rousseau replied. “That, Mr. Bones, is a GPS tracking chip.”
I reached out to pick it up and see for myself, but before my fingers managed to touch the thing, a loud explosion rocked the building.
Rousseau sprang from her seat and took the chip into her hand. “I will destroy this. You two, take the amulet, and get the hell out of here!”
“No, Rousseau, you must come with us.”
“As long as they do not see me with the two of you, I will remain safe. You two they will recognize. I am just a person working in a museum. It is you they are after.”
“But how will we—”
“Just go!” She dropped the chip back onto the desk and reached for one of the telescopes. Heaving it above her head, she brought it down on to the chip, utterly obliterating it. “They cannot track it now. You are safe with it, but first, you must escape if you want to live! If you want to save your sister!”
Sofi took the amulet and stuffed it back into the bag, and the two of us ran from the room. Once in the hallway, out of the soundproofing of Rousseau’s office, screams of terror rang out as another explosion rocked the building and the lights went out, and the red glow of emergency lights kicked in.
Chapter Fifteen
Even with the lights out, the museum remained well-lit from the light of day streaming in from the many windows. The very idea vampires would attack in broad daylight again went against all the vampire logic I possessed. Either they were desperate, or they’d hired someone else to do their dirty work again. Regardless, from the smoke and the screams choking the hallways, we needed to get the hell out, and quick.
“Do you know the way out of here?” I shouted over the blare of alarms.
“Yes, I have been here many times. Follow me.”
And so, I followed. Back through the maze of exhibits, past scores of terrified museum visitors locked in indecision between cowering and escaping. No one dead yet. That was a positive sign. But the screams continued. Some from the visitors we passed, bellowing in fear at the sudden idea of a terrorist attack on the building. But the other screams … the ones from far away corridors, those were screams I recognized all too well … for they were screams of death.
As we neared the front door, my heart sank. The entire entrance had been blown up. Impossible to exit. Scores of bodies scattered bloodied in the rubble, dead from the explosion. More blood and bodies streaked the walls and hallways—a grisly mess of dead people with their throats ripped out.
It was vampires, alright. And we were trapped in here with them.
“How do we get out?” screamed Sofi. “The doors are all blocked.”
My eyes darted around the space, searching for another exit. “The windows. We break the windows.”
We ran to a wall of windows across the entrance, remarkably unbroken by the explosion. I lifted a chair and hauled back to throw it through the glass when out of the corner a dark shape lunged at us. Dressed in black jeans, a long-sleeved black shirt, black gloves, and a head covered in a black ski mask, all I could make out in his flash of movement was a snarl of razor-sharp teeth through the mouth hole. I shoved Sofi out of the way and dodged the attack.
“The gun, Sofi! Shoot out the window with the gun!”
But it was too late. Two more vampires appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and began to circle us, snarling. “Give it to us. Give it to us now,” they hissed.
“Fat chance, fucko!” I shouted and kicked a chair in their direction. Sofi fired off a shot, catching the one who spoke square in the chest. Even with his ski mask on, I could still see him smile.
“There has to be another way out. Just run, Sofi. Run!”
I admit, at that moment I wished I had the bag in my hand. That I had the amulet and my gun, so I could escape on my own and leave her to them. I could always regroup. Come back later once I’d figured shit out. If one of those bastards got his teeth into me, all my coming back from the dead would be useless. I’d just be a damned vampire when I woke up. I was sure of it. And with nothing on me to fight with, my best chance of survival was to kill myself and run away.
But she had the amulet. And with as little as Rousseau had helped, I still felt it was important. To give it back to these bloodsuckers would be a mistake, and likely one I’d live to regret.
Besides, the girl needed saving.
“I fucking said run, Sofi! Go!”
“I’m not letting you die for me,” she shouted back, as the vampires continued to close in.
“I’m not dying for you. That’s why I’m telling you to run. Run, and I’ll follow, and we’ll figure something out. Just not here. Here we’re trapped.”
Sofi regarded the window again, reconsidering our previous exit strategy. But the vampires now stood between us and it, the bright light of midday streaming through but doing nothing to harm them, shielded by their cover of protective clothing. She then turned and ran, back through the gift shop, and I followed. We hooked a left and passed through a large archway into a room that appeared to be a converted church. Ancient airplanes hung from the ceiling, and a large pendulum swung above a sort of round glass table. A miniature statue of liberty gazed at us from the far end of the room. Behind it, a large red door.
“Down there!” I shouted. “Through the door!”
We bolted down the length of the church, past a series of metal platforms that formed a staircase to the airplanes, past the cutaway of an early automobile and through a series of what looked like old bicycles. As we reached the Statue of Liberty, another loud explosion rocked the building, and the door in front of us blew inward, knocking us back and to the ground. As the smoke cleared, three more black-clad vampires entered and strode menacingly in our direction.
I glanced behind us, hopeful for a means of escape, but the other vampires had followed. We were trapped, and the only direction we could go was up. I surveyed the metal trellises, the ceiling, and the old airplane. Maybe if we could get to it, we could fly out of here. Just need to blow that stained-glass window at the end of the church, and we could fly off to safety. Or at least out of this hornets’ nest.
How we were going to blow that window was another question altogether … and one I didn’t have an answer to. At least not yet.
“Follow me!” I shouted to Sofi, and the two of us began to scramble up the metal scaffold. The vampires gave chase, their footfalls landing nearer and nearer with each desperate step forward we took. As we reached the top level, one of them leaped up from the level below and cut us off. I considered throwing Sofi onto the plane and urging her to start it up and escape—to save herself—but now up, close, it was clear the plane was far too large to fit through the window without breaking the wings off first. Besides, what were the chances they kept it fueled? Or if the damned contraption would even fly? I cursed under my breath. We were trapped.
“What happens when a vampire gets caught in sunlight?” Sofi shouted. “Do they burn, like in the movies?”
“They burn, and they explode,” I answered. “But these ones are protected. They’re safe from the sun.”
“Not if you can pull off their masks, they’re not.”
She had a fair point, but to do so meant close combat with a vampire. And without any sort of weapon, that would be a pretty short fight. Besides, even if I could manage to take care of one, another half
-dozen would be right behind him.
“How far can you throw a man?” she asked. “Can you throw him there?” She pointed to the window I’d hoped to escape from.
“I have no idea! I don’t generally toss vampires! But if I had to guess, yeah I probably could. At least that small one.” I pointed to one of the new vampires who’d recently reached the top of the stairs. Must have been a kid when it turned. Now it was just a blood-sucking monster.
“I have an idea,” Sofi shouted. “When I say go, you grab him, rip off his mask, and throw him that way.”
I had to give her credit. Even if it was a stupid idea, it was still an idea. And I ran out of those the minute I saw the plane was too big. Still, although I could probably throw the little fucker to the window, I doubted I’d be able to do it with enough force to break through the glass. And the sunlight coming through the decorative display was probably not strong enough to do any real damage to him. Direct sunlight? Yeah, that’d burn him to a crisp and set him off like a miniature nuke. But this? This was stupid.
Still, stupid was better than nothing. And when she shouted “go” I lowered my shoulder and charged. The vamp hadn’t been expecting that, and the force of my impact almost sent him flying off the platform, but I grabbed him by his shirt, catching him before he could tumble to the floor below. With my free hand, I snatched the ski mask from his head, narrowly avoiding his fangs as they snapped at my wrist. I let go of the mask, grabbed him with both hands, and tossed him as hard as I could in the direction of the stained-glass window.
An ear-splitting crack rang out behind me, and the glass shattered where the bullet from Sofi’s gun hit. A stream of sunlight broke through, catching the flying monstrosity’s snarling face. The shock on its face quickly disappeared under a bubbling mass of burning flesh, and a split-second later the whole thing exploded into chunks of seared vampire flesh. The rest of the window shattered outward in thousands of pieces … but we still had no way to escape.
“Phoenix, here! Into the plane!” Sofi urged.
Undead as a Doornail Page 12
